The Untold Stories of BF5 2
by InvaderLuver
Summary: IT'S BACK...  I don't own BF5, special credit to FortuneAly for her Data Drafts, read Untold Stores 1 and you know what I mean. XP
1. And So It Starts Again

**(Music starts and Spinner walks through the darkness, waiting for his introduction to the new era of Untold Stories)**

**(Lights suddenly flash unto him)**

Spinner: I wanna be the very best  
Like no one ever was  
To catch them is my real test  
To train them is my cause!

**(Zoom slides in)**

Zoom and Spinner: I will travel across the land  
Searching far and wide!

**(Zoom flips hair)**

***Fangirl squeals***  
Each Pokémon to understand  
The power that's inside!

All: Pokémon! Gotta catch 'em all!

Spinner: It's you and me!

Both: I know it's my destiny!

All: Pokémon!

Spinner: Ohhh, you're my best friend,

Both: In a world we must defend!

All: Pokémon! Gotta catch 'em all!

Both: A heart so true!  
Our courage will pull us through!  
You teach me and I'll teach you!

All: Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all!

Spinner: Gotta catch 'em all! Yeeaaahh…

**(Vert, Zen, Stanford and Tezz walk in)**

Vert: Every challenge along the way  
With courage I will face

Tezz: I will battle every day  
to claim my rightful place!

Zoom and Zen: Come with me, the time is right  
There's no better team

Stanford and Vert: Arm in arm we'll win the fight  
It's always been our dream!

All: Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all!

Tezz: It's you and me

All: I know it's my destiny  
Pokémon!

Zen: Oh, you're my best friend!

Spinner: In a world we must defend!

Vert and Zen: Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all!

Tezz: A heart so truuuue!

Tezz and Stanford: Our courage will pull us through!

Vert: You teach me and I'll teach you!

All: Pokémon! Gotta catch 'em all!

Spinner: GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! *Flips hair* Gotta catch 'em all…

Gotta catch 'em aaalll!

Gotta catch 'em all! YEE-AH!

All: Pokémon! Gotta catch 'em all!

Vert and Tezz: It's you and me  
I know it's my destiny!

All: Pokémon!

Spinner: Ohhh! You're my best friend!

Vert, Tezz, and Stanford: In a world we must defend!

Zen and Zoom: Pokémon! Gotta catch 'em all!

Spinner: A heart so truuue!

All: Our courage will pull us through!

Zoom and Spinner: You teach me and I'll teach you!  
All: POOO-KEEEE-MOOON!

Zen, Zoom, and Stanford: Gotta catch 'em all!

Spinner: GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!

All: POKEMON!

**(Music ends)**

**(Applause)**

Agura: O.O' *Clapping awkwardly* Uhhh…

Sherman: *Claps nervously*

Krytus: Nerds… Bakugan is better…


	2. Guess What Else Is Back?

Vert: Ya' know… if you just add a little censoring to some stuff, it could be ten times better! *Edits some episodes* Here are some of my favorites…

…

Stanford: WHY YOU **(Beeep)**ING YELLOW**(Beep)**ED **(Beeep)**ING LITTLE **(Beep Beeeep)**!

...

Zoom: Ah! It's no use! This place is **(Beep)**ed up tighter than a **(Beep Beep Beep)**!

…

Tezz: How will a **(Beep)** help us **(Beeeep)** Vert and Krytus?

…

Vert: Ya see?

* * *

Quarnian: Hope you don't mind it uncooked heh heh! OoO MY GOD! HOW DO YOU SIT LIKE THAT ON A PERIOD? !

Kyburi: O.o''

(Just go see 'Found!... And Lost' during the palace scene and you'll know what I'm talking about!)

* * *

Tezz: Go on and shake what ur mother gave ya'!

Agura and Zoom: WHOOOT!

Tezz: Oh, NO! I JUST MEANT THE BOY!

* * *

(THIS HAPPENED AT LUNCH AND THIS WAS MY ACTUAL REATION)

Stanford: *Randomly puts a chip bag over a full water bottle* Condom!

A.J.: NEH!* Grabs bag and forces it down and it breaks over the closed end* IT BROKE!

Zoom: *Starts laughing hysterically and uncontrollably.* HAHAHAHAAA! YOU DI-, AND HE-, A-BBAAAAHAHAHAAA! 8Continues on for the next two minutes*

Sherman: Look at Zoom! Looklooklooklooklooklook! *Nudges Vert and Agura*

Everyone: (Eating) *Stare at Zoom*

Zoom: *Continues on LULZ'ing*

* * *

Tezz: GO Epic winning!

Agura: Are you bipolar?  
Tezz: I'm bi-winning  
Win here, win there, win, win, everywhere, where

Vert: Absolute victory…

Spinner: Everywhere where, where

Zoom: I'm on a quest…

Sherman: We're gunna win everywheeere…

BF5: (In Choir format) Right every single Wroo-oo-ooong…

* * *

Agura, Anti-Agura, and Kyburi: (All eating bananas) Mmmmm…

Kyburi: *Eats the last of hers*

Krytus: Heeeeyy! Listen… I'm goin up to take a bath if you wanna join me… I like it when you eat bananas.

Kyburi: O.O;

* * *

Kyburi: Do these pants make my butt look big?

Kytren and Krytus: (Up to their eyes LITERALLY in clothes)

Krytus: OF COURSE!

Kyburi: Good! *Throws pants in Kytren's pile*

Kytren: *Faints*

* * *

Tezz: Everyone is smiling, WHY?

All: *Smile*

Tezz: *Smashes his glove on the ground* THE WORLD, IS NOT THIS HAPPY! THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING, PEOPLE GETTING RAPED, PEOPLE STARVING, PEOPLE HOMELESS RIGHT NOW! WHY? !

All: O.O'

* * *

Vert: I'M NOT A WOMAN!

Spinner: Woah, I think you've already had too much to drink sweetheart…

* * *

Kyrosys: YOU ALL CAN BLOW ME! *Flips everyone off* F*CK U, F*CK U, F*********CCCCCKKKKK!

Krylox: A little too much sugar there Kyrosys?

* * *

Vert: WE HAVE A TEAM OF GUYS CUZ WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TAMPONS!

Agura: ^^;

* * *

Tezz: TURN IT UP! I got an idea!

Zoom: *Turns up the song*

Katy: Make 'em go-

Tezz: Ohh! Ohhh! Ohhhhhh! *Grasps his chest*

Katy: As you SHOOT ACROSS THE-

Tezz: *Runs hands down his waist* Skaay! Ahh Ahhh!

All: XDDD

Vert: BWAHAHAHAAA!

* * *

Sherman: Yeah woman! Go make me my dinner!

(SMACK!)

* * *

Zoom: WE ARE IN THE HOUSE OF THE LAWD!

Agura: PRAISE JESUS!

Tezz: GEE-ZUS! (RWJ format)

* * *

Kytren: Heh heh... *puts hands in boobs* Jiggle jiggle jiggle...  
Sol: -.o Really?  
Kytren: WHAT? When I have sex, I play with a chicks bewbs! Motorboat BEEECH!  
Sol: U ALREADY MATED? !  
Kytren: O.O'... Don't tell mom...

* * *

Kyburi: Besides. EVERY girl believes in unicorns…

Kytren: DDDD8 *Frozen*

Kyburi:…? *Gasps* OH NO! NOT THAT, PERV! *Smacks him*

* * *

Kytren: It's getting hot in here... I take off all my clothes! XDDD  
Kyburi: IF U SING THAT ONE MORE TIME!

Kytren: THE BIRDS...  
(Tweet tweet)  
Kytren: DAAAHHH! APOCALYPSE!

* * *

Krylox: KYTREN!  
Kytren: WHAT? ! *Walks out in white boxers*  
All: (Fully clothed) *Stare*  
Kytren:... *Looks down* Oh... *Blushes*

Zoom: Dude, you have NO idea what the real world is like...  
(They're in a random store)  
Zoom: C'mon, I'll show you how to dress like a human.  
(They start walking)  
Kytren: (As a human) *Totally creped out by everything*  
(Voice intercom goes off)  
Kytren: *Crouches down* DAAAHHH! THE VOICES ARE BACK! *Clings to Zooms leg*  
People: *Stare*  
Zoom: WHAT? HE'S SPECIAL! U GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT?  
People: *Keep walking*  
Kytren: Bwauaghhh...

* * *

Kytren: (Doing laundry) -_-...O.O  
(5 min later)  
Kytren: *Walks into Kyburi's room* WHAT IS THIS? *Holds up silky see-through spaghetti-strap sexy top*  
Kyburi: *Shrugs* Krytus said I looked good in it!  
Kytren: WELL ISN'T HE THE HORNY ONE? ! Look, YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE IN THIS TOP! EVER...  
Kyburi: Wow... puberty REALLY got you mature!  
Kytren: *Covers privates* NEVER... speak of puberty... AGAIN... *Walks out*  
Kyburi: Silly little Sentient! Thinks that 'top' is for going out! Yeah I'll stay inside with it on! Inside Krytus' BEDROOM...  
Kytren: WHAT?  
Kyburi: NOTHING!

HUZZAH FOR KYTREN OVERLOAD!

* * *

Vert: Proud to beee, 'n American!

Spinner: I'm all American… *Flicks middle finger* ALL AMERICAN!

* * *

Zoom: DURP.

* * *

Tezz: DOOP DEE DOOP DURP!

* * *

A.J.: Dude… we were SO wasted last night!

Spinner: Really?

Stanford: Yeah! You got your ear pierced! *Hands over mirror*

Spinner: *Sees an earring in his left ear* DAAAAAAAHHH!

…

(LAST NIGHT)

Tezz: *Watches mischievously as they all drink his vodka*

A.J.: OMIGOD! WE NEED M-

Agura: Mac and cheez… yeah, I KNOW!

Vert: H-Hey Agura…?

Agura: *Turns*

Vert: Wanna ha-(hic)-have smex?

Agura: SURE! *Helps him up and they both go to her room*

Sherman: Maaaan… now I'll NEVER get to sleep tonight with them bangin' on the walls… UGH!

Zoom: HUUUH! I wanna just go. JUST GO. U GUYS R DUMBO.

Tezz: *Laughing*

Spinner: I WANNA EARRING!

Stanford: Oh! I CAN DO THAT!

* * *

Rawkus: I DON'T NEED A GIRLFRIEND…

Zoom: *Snaps*

Stanford and A.J.: *Pull a sheet off their creation*

(A giant rock monster thing female like Rawkus opens its eyes)

Girl: Whaa?

Rawkus: *Gasp*

Girl: W-What is this? Where am I? *Gasps*

Rawkus: Where have you been all my life? ! *Kisses her*

All: Awwww!

Girl: Are you the last of our kind?

Rawkus: Afraid so…

Girl: THEN WE SHALL MAKE BABIES!

Rawkus: O-Okay, hold on… slow down… I-I don't know…

All: OOOHHH! (Groaning)

Stanford: OH COME ON!

* * *

Stanford: It could be white.

Agura: Or black!

Sherman: Or brown!

Zoom: Or yellow!

Tezz: Or tan!

A.J.: Or… very white!

* * *

Tezz: I DON'T SEE YOU BLEEDING.

A.J.: So what exactly is the-

Tezz: SHUT UP A.J.. I'll teach you how to eat better. *Grunts*

Protein bars, GOOD.

M&M's BAD.

Eminem GOOD!

Justin Bieber BAD. OOOOOOOHHH-

Vert: AND I DESPISE LOOKING AT FAT PEOPLE.

Spinner: Here's my impression of you in five years. *Does raspberries* That's you, on an obesity scooter once you gain FAT-HUNDRED POUNDS! HUUU-

Sherman: -UUHHHH! I'll make you lose weight by KICKING YOUR ASS! HUUUUHHHH!

Zoom: *Rapidly doing pull-ups* EMPLOYMENT BURN!

* * *

A.J.: Oh sorry. I-I was gunna make a tampon joke…

* * *

Spinner: HAHA! Ya' missed me… F***CK! (Gets shot)

* * *

A.J.: *Crawls out from under the Saber* Ugh! Aoooh! I think I scraped my nipple! Vert you damn retard! Uggh!

* * *

Agura: Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky like shooting stars?

Vert: No, but we CAN pretend that we're in the night sky and I'm going to be shooting **A BULLET THROUGH YOUR F*CKING BRAIN!**

Agura: My Russian friend told me about that game!

* * *

Sherman: I am the president, Brrrock Obama.

* * *

Tezz: S-So Vert…

Vert: You gunna buy a new Wii Tezz?

Tezz: Uh I'm thinking about it but right now I'm okay with a Playstation 3 right now. Why? Why should I get a Wii?

Vert: Because. I think new Wii has vibration settings for the Wii-mote.

Tezz: Are you serious?

Vert: Yeeeahh…-

Tezz: Why did no one tell me this? I-I would get that in a heartbeat! I-Imma leave training just to get one!

Vert: Get the black Wii, the black Wii has a bigger Wii-mote.

Tezz:… Well no sh*t.

* * *

Zoom: LOOK T MY F*CKIN' BALLS!

* * *

Zoom: (In the Splitwire over the Comms in a BattleZone) Hey Tezz? Can u grab the lever? Both of my hands r currently occupied.

Tezz: Sure Which one?

Zoom: The one between my thighs…!

Tezz: Sure Zoom!

Vert: *Gasp*

Everyone: *Listens*

Zoom: *Starts grunting* Uhh! Ehhh! Ohhh! Pull it harder! PULL IT HARDER!

Tezz: I AM! I AM!

Zoom: Ohhh! Faster! PLEASE! FASTER! PLE-

Tezz: I'M GOING FASTER I'M GOING FASTER!

Zoom: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! OohhhhHHHH! Ohh! Can u moan a little bit too?

Vert: TEZZ!

Agura: ZOOM!

Both: *Burst into laughter*

Tezz: MAN! That was the best RP we've ever done!

Zoom: YEAH! Haha! But seriously, get ur hand off my crotch.

Tezz: I bet you like it…

(Zipper unzips)

Vert: ZOOM! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! ?

**(IN THE SPLITWIRE)**

Zoom: *Makes clothes ruffling sound* Oh Tezz! I just wanna grab ur little plump… thick ass and-! **(CENCORED AND ONLY FOR MATURE AUDIENCES)**

All: D8

Zoom: Ughhh! Harder!

Tezz: *Makes THAT NOISE… with his cheek and holds back a laugh*

All: *Gasp*

Tezz: Just as long as you do me too!

(More noises)

Both: *Groaning and moaning*

Vert: GEEZ! SAVE IT FOR THE HUB!

…

**(BACK AT THE HUB…)**

Tezz: Ur comin' with me… *Grabs Zoom and pulls him up to his bedroom*

All: *Listen*

Zoom: (Whispering) They're listening…!

Tezz: Watch this… (Gets close to the door) *Groans*

Zoom: SUCK IT HARDER! Ooohhhhh!

All: *Start quietly laughing*

Tezz: *Scratches on door* Lemme go…! PLEASE! Ohh!

Zoom: NOT UNTIL YOU GET ALL THIS UP B*TCH! NOW AM I GUNNA HAVE TO SHOVE IT DOWN UR THROAT LIKE LAST TIME? !

Tezz: *Makes choking sounds* Aagghghhh! NO! PLEASE! I'll do whatever you want!

Zoom: THEN GIVE ME A **(Censored for mature audiences)!**

All: *Laugh and gasp*

Tezz: O… kay… *Sniffle*

Both: *Make grunting noises and hold in laughs*

* * *

A.J.: GET YOUR *SS OUTSIDE AND MOW THE LAWN!

* * *

(RING…RING…)

Sherman: THERE'S CAKE NEAR-BY!

Stanford: MY FRECKLES ARE TINGLING!

* * *

All vehicles: *Drive into the Fuser vortex*

Vert: UNITE!

All: AND STRIKE!

(Thud)

…

Zoom: Ta-da…?

* * *

(I was wondering…)

Krytus: Oh really? What happened?  
Daughter: A-And and and and mommy was sayin, Ahh! Ah!  
Kyburi: *Covers mouth*  
Krytus: *Laughing*  
Daughter: And daddy scream like a girl like AHHH! Ahhh!  
Both: *Laughing hysterically*  
Daughter: U scream like a girl daddy!  
Krytus: *Laughs*  
Daughter: A-And Mommy said... Uhhh! Uhh!  
Both: Bahahahaaaa!

Daughter: And THEN, Mommy was creaming like, AHHH! AHHHH! AHHHHH! AHH! AHHH!

Both: *Burst into uncontrollable laughter*

* * *

Kyburi: GLOMP! *Tackles Kytren* NOM NOM NOM!

Kytren: DON'T NOM ME!

* * *

Tezz: Remember that RP we did? *Eating*

Zoom: Yeah! Haha! That was rich!

Sherman: PULL IT HARDER!

Tezz: *Spits out Cheerios*

* * *

A.J.: EYE TWITCHLE! *Twitch*

* * *

Zoom: Hey, biker to biker here…

(BF5 aren't around)

Rawkus: What?

Zoom: When you take a dump… are they like little pebbles or what? Cement? Is it runny?

Rawkus: -_-'

* * *

Vert: Oh-wa-oh-WA-AOH!

(All start dancing to Caramelldancen)

* * *

Tezz: I'M RUSSIAN!

A.J.: I'M A.J.!

Tezz: -.- (PUSH)

* * *

Tezz: *Listening to heavy techno*

A.J.: *Random head bangs*

Tezz: O.o' *Walks away*

* * *

Spinner: *Steals Tezz's iPod* D8

Tezz: NOUUU!

Spinner: BAD RUSSIAN! Such naughty songs-OHH! Look at me now… look at me now…! *Dances*

Stanford: *Looks* DAAAAANNNGGG! U have more ghetto songs than Chris Brown!

Tezz: ^ ^' I learned a lot from Kytren!

Agura: Kytren's ghetto?

Tezz: YES. Surprisingly! He's worse than me!

…

Kytren: These r my fave songs…

Tezz: *Listens* O.O I LIKE IT!

Kytren: |3 *Pet Pet* YES MY GHETTO MINION…

* * *

Stanford: Are you SEXUALLY interested with Agura?

Sherman: O.O W-Well…

Spinner: *Cough* WET DREAM! *Cough gag*

Stanford: WHAAAAA? ! ? !

Sherman: *Growls* DON'T ACT LIKE YOU HAVEN'T HAD ONE ABOUT HER!

Stanford: WELL THA-… Okay… -.-

* * *

(For RedOne)

Kytren: (Like a witch) E-HEEE!-Hehehehehehehe! *Crosses eyes* I KNOW I'M WEIRD! WHERE R MY PONIES B*TCH?

Sol: OxO

Kytren: I WANNA RIDE MY PONY! *Jumps on Krytus* U CAN BE MY PONY. I shall ride you… RIDE. YOU. HARD… GO HORSEY GO! *Smacks Krytus' *ss*

Krytus: OOOH!

* * *

Vert: WATER? THAT'LL GO STRAIGHT TO UR HATE HANDLES!

(Wait! Go back on me!)

*STATIC*

* * *

Kytren: *Wearing cape and with bright red eyes* I'M THE KING OF THIS UNTOLD STORY SEQUEL! IT'S MINE! WAHUHUHUHUHAHAHA!

Vert: OVER MY DEAD BODY!

Kytren: *Has puppy face* Pwease…?

Vert: Aww! My heart is melting…! *Gasp* MY HEART IS MELTING! O-MIGOOODDD! *Dies*

Kytren: *Evil laughter*

Sherman: U R NOT THE KING OF THE HILL, BOBBEH! RAAAAHH!

(Epic music and super slo-mo scene)

Sherman: *Grabs and points knife at Kytren's neck*

Kytren: *Dodges and counters with a back flip*

Sherman: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kytren: *Roundhouse kicks Sherman off the hill* WINNING! BEEEECH!

Spinner: You… You killed my baby brother! And now YOU SHALL SUFFER… ARISE MY MINIONS! ARISE!

(Robots form out of the dirt made of what seems to be old machine and videogame parts)

Robot: Yes master?

Spinner: (With flowing hair) KILL HIM…

Robots: UNITS SET TO MURDER. MUST. DETROY. *Start up the hill*

Kytren: SARK! ATAAAACCCKK!

Sark: *Attack and battle with the other robots*

Agura: *Runs around to the back of the action to see Kyburi tied up in a sexy outfit* Don't worry girl…

(Agura slices ropes)

Kyburi: Ahh! Thank you… HUMAN… You have my allegiance. You just saved me from a whole remainder of my life with HIM.

Kytren: BACK YOU BEAST! *Pokes stick at Stanford*

Stanford: *Tackles Kytren*

Kytren: *Flips Stanford off of him and kicks him back down the hill*

Tezz: FUSE!

A.J.: FUSE WHAT?

Tezz: *Whistles*

Tromp: *Rides down one of the junkyard hills* WHOOOOO! *Skids to a stop in huge vehicle* We picked up a few friends along the way…

Rawkus, a Magmatrox, and a few wasps: (All whoosh in together)

Tezz: *Smiles* I know you'd be there for me… TIME TO END THIS FOO!

Tromp: Definitely ghetto…

Tezz: *Throws Fuser* GO PIKACHU!

Tromp and Rawkus: *Drive through portal and fuse*

(Monster think comes out)

Monster: RAAAAAHHH!

Tezz: IT'S ALIVE!

Monster: BAUGAGHAGHH! *Grabs Tezz*

Tezz: Wait! NOO!

Monster: *Huggles Tezz* Yay Russians!

Tezz: (Gets put back down) *Faints*

Stanford: *Looks at Tezz* (In deep voice with no accent) ANTHRAX.

(Monster Unfuses)

Tromp: TEZZ! *Huggles Tezz* Oh! URPH! *Dies*

Kytren: YOU SHALL NEVER GET PAST ME MORTAL FOOLS! Well… except for the immortal ones… like you… and you…

Spinner: HISSS!

Kytren: GROWL!

Rawkus: *Picks up Kytren by his neck* Let's come to an understanding here…

Kytren: *Glares evilly*

Rawkus: *Turns back into a statue*

Kytren: WAHAHAHAAA! I WIN. FLAWLESS VICTORY!

Tezz: (With scarred and bruised and black skin) WINNING! *Dies again* WAKE ME FOR A DOUBLE RAINBOW…

All opposing teammates: *Stand together in a line*

Kytren: AAA-HAHAHAAA! NO ONE CAN STOP ME NOW!

Zoom: EXCEPT FOR ME! YAAAH! *Stabs Kytren in the back*

Kytren: *Choking* Mother… BISCUITS! *Gasps and faints in Zoom's arms*

(Dramatic sad music)

Kytren: Zoom… I-I… I've always needed to tell you something…! *Weak Cough*

Zoom: Yeah…?

Kytren: You… *Cough cough* I-I love you…

Zoom: Oh, Kytee! *Kisses him*

All: Awww!

Kytren: And… I-I… I'm,

Zoom: No… NO KYTREN! PLEASE!

Kytren: I… am… Y-… *Closes eyes*

Zoom: *Bows head*

Kytren:… *GASP!*

Zoom: *Jolts back up*

Kytren: Sorry… heart failing here… I-I am… YOUR BROTHER!

Zoom: You're my bro?

Kytren: I'll always love you Zoomy… *Closes eyes*

Rawkus: *Gets back to normal* (Sniffle) *Wipes tear* Better than my soaps on the weekdays!

Spinner: Vert's waking up!

Zoom: *Gasp* (Looks down) PRICK! *Throws Kytren in a lava sea*

Vert: *Opens his eyes* Huh? I-Is my heart better?

Spinner: How do you feel when I do this? *Punches him*

Vert: *Dies again*

Spinner: Nope, he's dead.

…

Vert: *Closes story book* AND THAT'S WHY SONIC DRIFT SUCKS! :D

All: O.G

Vert: :D

All: O.O

Vert: :D

All: *Run*

Vert:

…

:D

…..

:D

….

*Hung*


	3. TEZZ HAS MALNUTRITION!

**Zoom-Violin**

**Tezz-Viola**

**Stanford-Cello**

* * *

As Zoom ignored his sweaty palms and continued playing with Tezz and Stanford in Mozart's Symphony No. 25 in G minor, he couldn't have been more nervous.

This was his big break. His chance to wow the judges to get into the competition and to show his parents how much he had improved from the age of three.

Stanford would just shrug it off. This was just like another recital. It was only on the night of the performance that he would start to panic.

Tezz was nervous as well. If they got in, it meant that his whole family of possibly 50 or more would arrive to see him play.

Mother, father, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, second cousins, grandmothers, grandfathers, and a great grandmother.

He tried not to keep his fingers from slipping and making everything sharp.

He glanced at Zoom and then back to his notes, and then his fingers.

Zoom got his solo over with before Tezz joined in and they finally ended the song with the violist and the cellist sliding in unison as Zoom got his fast moment.

The violinist finally got to get his real ending solo, then they all joined in after Tezz played a few low solid notes and Zoom and Stanford all ended with a nice whole note.

Zoom sighed as he loosened his bow and prepared for rejection.

The three judges surprised him by clapping loudly.

"YOU'RE IN!" The one in the middle exclaimed.

Zoom nearly jumped on Tezz of sheer joy and smiled widely.

Tezz cried out as he dropped his bow and held his delicate instrument from falling and cracking.

Stanford took the bow and placed it on his stand.

Zoom was shoved off as they exited stage and two other Country fiddle players walked on stage.

The Russian wasn't as excited as the others. His mouth was dry, and his eyes wide with fear.

He had no choice but to invite family.

"Tezz! C'mon! We HAVE to go celebrate!" Stanford smiled widely. "We can grab some Za? Just the three of us? Eh?"

Right now, his stomach was twisting and flipping so much that he wasn't sure if he wanted to eat for the next week.

"I-I'm okay…"

Zoom just looked as he located his case and packed up.

"What's up? You just nervous?"

Tezz placed his cleaning cloth over the front of the Viola and took in a breath. "OOHH yeah… Maybe, 50 family members are coming."

Zoom whistled. "Hey… my parents are in town. Why don't we go ask them for a little advice over lunch? My dad has a HUGE family and played too."

Stanford picked up his case and his notebook full of music and started walking out to the back entrance.

"Where there's food, I'm going!"

Tezz shrugged and followed the two.

* * *

A tan Asian man reading a newspaper with glasses on waited to finish a section before his wife set everything on the table.

Zoom sat quietly as everyone got situated.

Stanford picked up his chopsticks and gathered up some fried rice.

Zoom cleared his throat.

Stanford looked to him. "What?" He almost started eating until Tezz swiftly blocked it from his mouth.

"It's rude to eat if you're the guest before the hosts invite you to!" The Russian whispered.

The red-head blushed. "My bad… Don't know a lot of… customs…"

The man nodded. "You can go ahead. Zoom, go on and eat too."

The three teenagers started to take their utensils and took a few mouthfuls before the parents started.

"Why you not eat as much? You look so thin!" Mrs. Takazumi gestured to Tezz.

"Mom!" Zoom looked, quite shocked.

"Well I cannot help if boy bothers me! He look like he fasting! Malnutrition!"

Tezz chuckled, trying to beat around the bush and not go in depth about his lack of food on the Red Sentient Moon.

"I just… came from a poor family…"

Zoom took a few noodles and slurped them loudly and impolitely, getting an offended look from Stanford-who had done so many years of proper dining techniques. "ZOOM!"

Tezz nudged him. "It's also a custom to slurp noodles sometimes."

The Russian tried not to use his old customs that his parents taught him. He kept his hands visible though.

"So I hear you are having problems with family…" Zoom's father said.

Tezz nodded. "I'm just nervous about playing in front of a lot of family members. Zoom said you used to play and faced the same problem?"

Mr. Takazumi nodded. "Yes, yes. I did have the same problem. I learn just to ignore them and focus on music. They not gunna judge you. They love you!"

Tezz smiled.

"By the way… you Russian?"

"Yes sir."

Zoom's father nodded. "Ah…"

Once a few more conversations were up, Zoom's father took his wife's plate as she got dessert and stood up.

"Do you need any help?" Tezz asked.

Mr. Takazumi shook his head. "It alright… I got this…"

"Are you sure?"

The man whispered to his wife about how he forgot the boy was Russian. "Alright. If you insist. Your custom."

Tezz stood up and started some hot water as he took the bowls and plates into a bucket in the sink and started hand washing them.

Zoom leaned close to the Brit. "How come he cleans at other people's houses, and doesn't give a crap at the Hub?"

Stanford chuckled. "I have a feeling that we can use this later…"

Zoom's mother soon returned with Thai cookies on a large plate and talked with the two boys as they ate.

"What he worried about? It just family…"

Zoom shrugged. "He's just… different. I get nervous when you guys come to recitals!"

His parents glared.


	4. Chitti Chitti Bang Bang

Zoom placed a hand to his cheek as his sister walked up to the plate.

"YEAH SIS!" He yelled and smirked.

"Up next, Kai, Kaluhiokalani-Glaken Takazumi." (Ka-lou-he-o-ka-lani Gla-kin)

**'I ain't gotta lie**  
**so, don't even trip**  
**I'm super duper fly**  
**you know that I'm the Shhh-**  
**T-twenty on the dash**  
**got forty on my hip**  
**throw up a bunch of cash**  
**make them..., do the spins**  
**They say, hello hello, hello, aloha**  
**'Cause they know that I'm the SHHH-**  
**they say, hello, hello, hello, aloha**  
**Aloha**  
**'Cause I'm so fly.'**

She did a few practice swings before doing her signature waddle and leaning in.

Zoom watched in anticipation as his sister swung and got a single.

"YEAH CHITTI!" He smiled.

"Chitti?" Vert asked.

Zoom nodded. "It's her nickname."

"Is she Hawaiian?" Agura asked.

Zoom nodded. "We're half Thai, half Hawaiian. My dad is Thai."

* * *

Afterwards, Zoom walked to the gates and watched as a few other girls made their way out of the entrance and exit.

He suddenly saw jet black hair up in a bun, dark tan skin, and squinted eyes.

"CHITTI!" He called and nearly tackled his sister.

"Woaah! Okay… I got a few hundred pounds of catchers' equipment in my hands!"

He let her go and waited as she placed the heavy bags on the grass and embraced her brother.

"Zoomy!"

He smiled and moved to her side.

"These are my homies, Vert, Agura, Stanford, A.J., Spinner, Tezz, and Sherman!"

She smiled and thanked them all for coming.

"Are you going to the cook-out?" She asked.

Zoom nodded. "But they won't. They gotta jet. Meanwhile, you have to introduce me to the rest of your team! NOW!" He smiled widely.

"We'll see 'ya when we get back." Vert waved kindly as he and the team walked off.

Zoom sighed and walked across the parking lot to see a small tent with an over-sized grill in the back, and a few players with their parents and friends already there.

Everyone cheered as Kai stepped into the scene and shook her head.

"AND THE SENIOR PITCHER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO…!" The pitcher yelled and embraced Kai.

The two talked a little, she introduced her brother, and they got their food shortly afterwards.

They both sat on the cement curb where grass was behind them, and ate with all the other players.

"So how's school?" Zoom asked with a mouthful of salad.

She eyed him and grabbed her napkin before she replied. "Good. I already turned in my last two projects and I'm almost done with a few subjects." She gently wiped the corners of his mouth.

He laughed and got more salad onto his fork.

She turned to the right fielder. "Hey do we have hot water?"

The girl nodded. "Mm! Everyone has hot water tonight."

"WE DO? !" Exclaimed the shortstop.

Kai nodded. "Because I heard one of the plumbers come in to fix it this morning in our dorms. Something with the pipes?"

"Anyways, we can all take non-freezing showers!" The first baseman cheered.

"Good, I need to shave my legs." Kai got a mouthful of baked beans before Zoom groaned and set his plate down. "Really? When I'm eating?"

A few of the girls giggled.

"You're my brother!" She winked and nudged him. "And you have a girlfriend too right?"

He looked away. "Ummm…"


	5. WARNING! STEREOTYPES!

**IMPORTANT NOTE!**

**MY BFF IS AFRICAN-AMERICAN**

**I WISH I WAS ASIAN (I LUV ASIANS! X3)**

**I'M IN LOVE WITH RUSSIANS! (That's why I write with Tezz a lot)**

**SPANISH/MEXICAN PEOPLEZ ROCK! LIKE GEORGE LOPEZ! (My fave comedian)**

**ONE OF MY FRIENDS HAS RED HAIR AND FRECKLES! (Ginger, but in a respectful way)**

**I DON'T THINK BLOND HAIR AND BLUE EYES ARE FROM EVIL PEOPLE! (I actually like a guy with them)**

**I LOVE EVERYONE IN THA WURLD! (I literally say that to people I don't know!)**

**I LIKE CANANDIAN ACCENTS, EH. :3 And my friend is Canadian.**

**Okay?**

**Srry if this is offensive.**

**I've always wanted to see if stereotypes were a problem in BF5…**

* * *

"FRIGGIN' NAZI!" Zoom exclaimed as he pointed at his leader.

"YOU SHOULD BE TALKIN' YOU LITTLE ASIAN IMMIGRANT!"

"Calm down!" Spinner shouted. "We all know that Vert's gay as hell already!"

The blond threw a pen at Spinner. "Watch it!"

"Lazy Mexican…" Zoom muttered.

"Oh-ho-ho, WHAT did you just call me! ?" The Cortez turned and was chest-to-chest with Zoom.

Sherman intervened. "Hold on! Hold on… We're not Mexican! We ARE Spanish, but NOT MEXICAN!"

"But still!" Zoom argued.

"WE. NO. MEXICAN… is that easier for you to understand?"

"I bet he eats dog…" Stanford said aloud and covered his mouth in shock.

"C'MON GINGER! BRING IT!" Zoom said as he got in his fighting stance.

"BITCH!" The Brit yelled back.

Agura stopped them. "Stanford, you already have no soul… s-"

He stopped her, and shoved Zoom away onto the ground. "NO SOUL? !"

"All of this racism is enough! JESUS CHRIST, WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP? !" A.J. said.

"Canadians are what happens when you put French people in the woods…" Agura started, getting in closer to him.

He managed to hit her cheek roughly. "Just go and smoke some weed, and calm down, hoe!"

She raised an eyebrow and kicked him in the shin.

This time, Tezz got in a word. "Please. This is all just because of that virus we found on Anti-Earth!"

"Stupid Russian!" Zoom stated.

"COMMIE!" Another shouted.

"Go drink vodka, get drunk, and leave us alone!" Spinner yelled.

Tezz kicked him. "ASSHOLE!" He covered his mouth.

Everyone started laughing.

"Says the emo kid whose homeland looks like, CANDY-LAND…" Vert sneered and started snickering.

Tezz blushed. "Stupid blond…"

Everyone 'ooohh'ed and watched the verbal-fight.

"How many kids do you have Tezz? Ten?"

"Zoom was right, YOU _ARE_ A NAZI! Racist bastard!"

Agura watched in anticipation and whistled. "C'mon Vert!"

"GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN BITCH!" He ordered and covered his mouth.

Tezz turned Vert around and waited for another cruel Russian stereotype.

"Seriously, where's your wife-I-I mean, YOUR SLAVE?"

"Oh, I'm gunna kick your ASS!" Tezz kneed Vert started with a few punches.

Eventually Sherman broke it up. "ENOUGH!"

No one spoke.

"I had it with all this racism and stereotypes! WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS ANYWAYS?"

"Well, seeing as you're too STUPID to know… we went to the Anti-World, and must have gotten a disease…" Tezz announced.

Sherman eyed him and let out a breath. "I'm trying to be nice, but if you crack one more joke about me, then I'll have to whoop your ass… now-"

"I'm so scared. I'm shaking. Wooo…" Tezz replied in monotone.

The Cortez slapped him on the cheek before he was pushed back.

"Guys! STOP IT! If someone throws ONE MORE PUNCH, KICK, SLAP, OR INSULTING WORD, THE-"

"Shut up gay Nazi…" Stanford scoffed under his breath.

Vert contained his anger and calmed himself. "Okay… I am not, NOR WILL I EVER WANT TO BE, a Nazi… being a Nazi is stupid."

"WHICH IS WHY YOU ARE ONE!" Zoom shouted.

The blond came at the Scout, but was separated.

Tezz huffed loudly. "I've had enough of this!" He started down the hallway but was topped when he heard a sly remark.

"His dad probably sold him for vodka."

Tezz turned. "WHAT did you just say?"

A.J. looked up with an evil glare. "You heard me…"

The Russian walked back over to his newly targeted enemy. "Okay, LET'S GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT! YOU, DO NOT, INSULT MY FAMILY. EVER. WE ARE NOT GOING THERE, UH-UH, NOT TODAY A.J…."

The Canadian rolled his eyes and turned on his heels. "Yeah, I'm sure your mother was a slut too…"

That's when Tezz lost it. Before he was holding back, but you do NOT talk about his mother.

The Russian ran to the kitchen, grabbed a carving knife from the drawer, and went back into the garage, a disgusted and angered look on his face.

He stopped before the light blond. "Anything else you wanna say about my mother?"

"Well? Did she marry your father and became his slave?"

Tezz growled and yelled, "HOLD ME BACK!" before he attempted to stab his teammate.

Sherman grabbed his torso and pulled him with full effort to the ground.

"LET ME AT THAT CANADIAN SCUM-BAG!"

A.J. simply walked away and shrugged.

"TEZZ!" Vert yelled and tried to take the knife without getting cut.

Thankfully, no part of his flesh was torn.

"ARE YOU INSANE? !"

Tezz struggled and tried to scratch and bite. "You NEVER talk about my mother!"

Agura watched him squirm for another minute before he relaxed and sighed. "Let me go."

"Just a matter of time before the same thing happens to the rest of us."

Sage suddenly floated in and nodded. "Yes. Tezz has been the most angered one because of the fact he wasn't used to the insults after being isolated for years."

"That should explain THAT bit, but how do we all get back to normal?"

Sage pulled up a screen. "You will have to go through back to the Anti-World and retrieve the antidote. But first, you shall all apologize for the comments you have made on inaccurate stereotypes. Just to see how strong the chemical is."

Vert started off with his and soon it was a chain reaction.

Pretty soon, everyone ended up in side-hugs and smiles.

Sage chuckled as well. _'Now they no longer need the antidote I assume…'_


	6. Molestation?

**BASED ON A TRUE STORY THAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY…**

**Characters-**

**Krytus: Dylan (My 'boyfriend' I guess. We're not really going out yet.)**

**Kyburi: Me (Yeas this really happened and this was my reaction. Although I don't have brothers, just a sister. God won't be mentioned because later, Dylan said, "AND GOD!" About my back-up peoplez.)**

**Krylox: Amanda (A girl that made him… ya' know… She's a... like a 'whore'. She's bi and has been out with a lot of people.)**

**Hala: My BFF Kaelyn (Squid. And yes I am her 'daughter'. XP All of her lines are exactly what she said.)**

* * *

Krytus sat crouched up on the second step of the Palace's stairway.

He shouldn't have done that to her… HE KNEW BETTER!

Agh! It was all because of Krylox!

He covered his face with his palms and sniffled, on the verge of crying tears.

* * *

"_Uhh, NO." Kyburi retorted as their conversation ended with Krylox about dating._

"_Oh c'mon! You two should already be makin' out and rubbin' all up against each other! C'MON!"_

_Krytus laughed. "We should!"_

"_NOT WITHOUT MY CONSENT!"_

"_Yeah, don't just randomly molest her!" Kyburi's friend, Hala added. "I'm off…" She said as she made her way down the hallway and outside._

_Kyburi rolled her eyes and the other comments. She bent over some to drink some water._

"_GET HER KRYTUS! GRAB HER ASS!"_

_Kyburi stood there still, expecting a few suggestive actions behind her. Krytus was playful and wouldn't hurt her, right?_

_Wrong…_

_She continued drinking before she saw him to her right followed by a eye-popping squeeze to her backside._

_Her eyes snapped open as he glared and wiped her mouth._

"_YOU WANT US TO BE OVER? !" She had felt like one of the girls who had been raped in an alley or something. She felt used._

"_NO! Please! I-I'm so sorry! He was gunna smack me in the face if I didn't!" Krytus covered his mouth with pity._

_Krylox was snickering and saying some stuff, but Kyburi was too distraught to hear._

_She was about to yell in the deserted hallway, 'WE'RE THROUGH!' but instead, her eyes watered, and she started to the doors._

"_NO KYBURI, WAIT! PLEASE!" Krytus pleaded._

_Kyburi covered her mouth before bursting into tears while Krytus caught up to her. "Please! I'm so, absolutely sorry! I swear! I didn't mean it at ALL!"_

"_Just, DON'T TOUCH ME!" She cried and continued on as Krylox ran to get her._

_Kyburi saw Hala standing in the glass of the door with a smile, but once she saw Kyburi's eyes clamped shut of fear, she knew something was terribly wrong._

_Kyburi moved to the side with Hala and explained what happened._

_Krylox exited a few moments later, getting Kyburi. "You okay?"_

_The Red shook her head and moved away._

"_Ya' know he's crying in there…"_

"_HE IS? !" Kyburi gasped and sniffled before moving to the window._

* * *

Krytus wiped one eye as he heard knocking.

He ignored it while he kept his head down.

The knocking got louder until he finally looked up to see Kyburi motioning for him to come out. The doors were locked from the outside so it was up to him.

He sighed and stood back up before walking out.

Kyburi sniffled as she listened to his various pleads and voice-crackled begs.

"I am SO… sorry. I swear…"

Hala stepped in sharply. "Look, YOU MESS MY DAUGHTER UP, AND IMMA BEAT YO ASS."

Kyburi took in a shaky breath before nodding. "It's okay…"

Krylox left for Kyrosys a second after.

Hala finished telling her rules before she had to be pulled away by her Axons.

"Please forgive me. I promise, I'll never do anything like that ever again… I swear…" He said.

Kyburi pondered and nodded. "Okay…"

They shared a quick hug before she glared suddenly, back to her normal nature. "But if you EVER do that again, EVER… you'll have to deal with my DADDY, MY MAMA, AND THEN MY BROTHERS… GOT IT?"

He nodded hastily.

Kyburi smiled and walked off. "You still buying my ticket for the dance?"


	7. We Meet Again, FIGHT!

Tezz scowled as he sat next to Zoom, who was eagerly awaiting the fight to start. "Aw, man! I'm glad y-… what's wrong Tezz? Why are you so… growly?"

The Russian barred some teeth as one of the lone opponents was cheered on down a long walkway and into the ring.

"Ipatij Mihailov!" The announcer added to the excitement of the crowd.

"I know him…" Tezz growled. "He was…"

The Russian was cut off by the abrupt hush of the crowd as the man in the ring looked his way.

"T… TEZZ? IS THAT YOU?"

The few thousand people turned.

Zoom's eyes widened as he glared to his teammate.

"Damn right it is…" He yelled back without fear.

Mihailov laughed some and untangled himself from the barrier between him and the audience.

He jumped over the secured fences and stopped in front of his 'friend'. "We never finished our match nine years ago…"

Tezz swallowed the lump in his throat and gazed into the piercing blue eyes of his enemy. "No, we didn't…"

"You ran off like a scared bitch-!"

"I LEFT TO GET A BEATING!" Tezz stood up fully against the man, chest-to-chest. He was about an inch taller than Mihailov.

The brown-haired fighter backed off some and extended his arm. "Why don't we go ahead and finish that fight, ya' know, since you're such a big-shot now…?"

Tezz looked to Zoom, who was trying to hide an excited grin.

The Russian looked back to the other Russian and shook his hand roughly.

"It's a deal."

The crowd went crazy as Tezz was guided backstage with Zoom.

* * *

"I can't believe you fought!" Zoom smiled at his fellow warrior getting his last name imprinted on some shorts and a few stagehands getting together some gear.

A man handed him some gloves.

Tezz laid them to the side and sighed. "Yeah… I was pressured into it after getting my ass kicked when I was four. My dad said I would be great. I took it on until… ya' know."

"Here you are Mister Volitov." A young woman handed him the folded garment.

"You have 20 minutes to get ready." An active manager announced.

Tezz nodded and got changed in front of Zoom before he grabbed his gloves and walked into the training room.

Zoom watched as his underestimated friend kicked the snot out of a punching bag and added in some of his own moves. He stretched and remembered his warm-ups from the past.

"Showtime…" Tezz muttered as he was guided back out to the arena.

* * *

"And now… filling in for our first fighter, weighing in at 153 pounds, six feet three inches tall, the LEGEND, TEZZ VOLITOV!"

There was a louder applause as the Russian and the Thai made their way out to the ring.

Tezz leaned in the corner as the reffs got everything ready.

"You sure you wanna do this?" Zoom asked, being a coach as he rubbed something on Tezz's chest.

"Yes. I can't back out of the fight now, AND WHAT IS THIS?" He wiped some off.

"It's to grease you up! Now hold still."

"Fighters, ready." One of the reffs said.

The two Russians walked into the center.

Zoom and Mihailov's coach exited the ring.

"I want a clean fight. No cheating of any kind… fight!"

The two were pretty frisky at first. Tezz got a punch to the stomach and dodged a few times nicely.

"Ah! C'MON TEZZ! GET ANGRY!" Zoom shouted. "FOCUS!"

Tezz took in a deep breath before landing a nice blow to the jaw and backing off some.

The crowd 'ohhh'ed in unison and awaited the response.

Mihailov then pushed Tezz to one of the corners and down on the ground.

Zoom held his breath.

Tezz winced and glared up some.

"Fell familiar, TEZZY?"

The Russian quickly bolted up and twisted the other off of his body. They both got on their feet before Tezz smirked. "THAT did!"

They went for another clash, Tezz dominating. He lifted the other up in an awkward position and slammed him down.

No longer later, Tezz was pinned up against the corner, Mihailov burrowed in his chest, keeping his arms down.

He tried kicking and pushing, but nothing worked.

Tezz caught his breath before he forced up enough strength to get in three to four punches, but was slid sideways along the ropes again.

The two tangled up in a mess.

Mihailov pulled away and was taken from the back, Tezz on top with his arms held back from punching.

Their legs wrapped around each other's, threatening to kick.

Tezz got his opponent into a tangled side arm bar.

The reff watched closely for any tap-outs.

He finally split the two up before any serious injuries.

Tezz waited after the pause, only to be taken down.

They wrapped up again as Tezz hooked his legs around the other man's waist.

They grinded their mouth guards in anger while Tezz gave in a few punches.

Mihailov finally got in his arm bar and was twisted by Tezz's legs. He punched Tezz in the face a few times, leading to a bloody nose.

Zoom bit his lip as the other coaches cheered their student on. Zoom covered his eyes. "Please, just give up Tezz!"

Tezz panted and got out of the bundle.

Mihailov moved backwards and slipped some on their already produced sweat. He staggered back two steps, giving Tezz an opening.

"YES!" Zoom cried as he witnessed his teammate pounce on the other.

Tezz got in six punches and an uppercut.

Hardly able to breathe now, Mihailov tapped out.

Tezz scrambled off of him and raised his arms in triumph.

Zoom ran into the ring and glomped Tezz. "GAAAAHHH! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!"

Tezz smiled and turned to his bleeding opponent.

He wiped his own bloody nose and held out a hand. "Nice fight, Ipatij." He panted and helped the fighter up.

Ipatij smirked. "You're not so bad yourself. Mind getting together again?"

Tezz wiped his nose and shrugged. "Why not…"

The reff raised Tezz's hand again. "WINNER!"

The crowd screamed at his name being called again.

* * *

Tezz worried about wiping off the sweat on his body and the scent of the other man as he rode home.

As soon as they walked into the garage, everyone was giving off smirks and gleeful smiles.

"So how was the fight?" Agura asked a little seductively.

Zoom's eyes widened. "Oh, it was AWESOME!"

"Should have been, right 'LEGEND'…?" Vert pointed Tezz's chest.

The Russian laughed nervously. "Eh-heh-heh…"

"Hey! At least the fight was sweet! I saw the way you were all over that other dude..." Spinner snickered.

**SMACK!**


	8. FETCH THE STICK KYTREN!

**TOTAL Kytren OOC!**

**For Kgirl1**

**SagexKytren FLUFF**

* * *

"See the stick? Get the stick, GET THE STICK!" Sage giggled as she waved a tree twig above the Red's head.

"-MIIIIIINNEEE!" Kytren yelled as he rushed down the desert.

Vert watched him take it back and get scratched on his stomach, sending him sprawling around.

"You're sooo good! Good boy! Who's a good boy? WHO'S A GOOD BOY!"

"MEEEE! NOMNOMNOM!" Kytren cried as he chewed on the stick.

Sage giggled and kissed his forehead. "Good boy! C'mon!"

Kytren followed her inside. "It seems Kytren's amnesia has taken a colossal turn in his attitude and loyalty to… you know who…"

The blond sighed. "Yeah, but I feel a little uneasy with a Red in the Hub… Are you SURE you tested him correctly?"

Sage eyed him and carried the Scout in her arms. "I'm POSITIVE. Now who's ready for a bath…! ?"

Kytren smiled and nuzzled into her chest. "Me! Memememememe!"

Vert shook his head and went to check the tests.

"Well, Kytren wouldn't ever act like this even if he _tried_ before…!"

* * *

Sage laughed as Kytren squirmed in her arms. "NOOO! I DIDN'T KNOW A BATH WAS WATER! AGHH! LET ME GO WOMAN!"

Sage reluctantly dropped him into the tub and held him in the hot water so he wouldn't climb out.

Agura and A.J. joined her in washing the Red.

Kytren nearly jumped on A.J. to get out.

"NO! DOWN BOY!"

Kytren soon complied and pouted as he was getting washed.

Agura smiled as she found his sweet spot and scratched his neck.

Kytren giggled and leaned on her.

"He's too cute when he's not trying to bite your head off! Wook at his wittle fangs!"

Kytren smiled and licked her neck.

Agura burst into giggles and petted his head.

* * *

"Sage, Sage I got a reading on Kr-…" Spinner peered in at the Red in Sage's lap. The Blue was calmly reading a few papers as he breathed soundly. "What is HE doing here?"

"Kytren has amnesia, so I've taken him in. Hopefully, we can get him on our side." Sage replied and scratched where the back of Kytren's ear would be.

In his dream, the Red purred and snuggled closer to her.

Spinner slowly backed out of the room, Sherman passing him as he did so.

"Hey, you alright Bro-"

"Kytren is out of character…" The Cortez simply summarized whet he witnessed with a frightened look on his face. "Bauaghahhh…"

Sherman shrugged and poked his head into the room.

Kytren was nipping at Sage's finger and chewing softly on it as he slept.

Sage smiled and sighed as she put up a document and snuggled into the Red's belly.

The Scout giggled and stirred as he opened his eyes.

Sherman snuck away cautiously.

* * *

"Well, g'night Sage." Vert yawned. "C'mon Tezz."

The Russian had been studying and reading Kytren's many tests for about six hours now non-stop. He even skipped dinner. And now his eyes were half-open, his hands were busy tracing his place or writing, and his legs were sore from getting locked inconspicuously.

"Uhhh… Just… few, more… minutes…" He murmured in a hoarse voice.

The blond, who wasn't as tired, turned the screen off, picked up Tezz, slung him over his shoulder, and set him on the couch. He walked into the kitchen, and placed a glass of milk next to a peanut butter sandwich at his side in case he woke up and was hungry.

"Night Tezz. Sleep 'till noon, please?"

Sage yawned as she watched the team slowly trudge upstairs.

The blue could already hear Tezz snoring.

"C'mon." She whispered to Kytren and guided him down to the infirmary area.

She then pulled out a bed and fluffed a few pillows before helping him up.

Once he was situated, she took a blanket and pulled it over his body.

Agura suddenly entered with the Canadian by her side.

"Goodnight Kytren!" She cooed and planted a small peck on his cheek.

A.J. petted his head. "Night dude… Get ready to play fetch for an hour tomorrow!"

Kytren smiled gleefully and held his arms out.

The two humans embraced the new Kytren and left.

Kytren snuggled into his pillows and closed his eyes. "Can I have another blanket?"

"Sure." The Blue went over to the closet, pulled out Stanford's heavy purple blanket, and wrapped it around the Red.

Kytren turned over to her. "Can you sleep with me for a while?" He asked in a tiny and innocent voice that she couldn't resist.

She let out a breath and crawled next to him on the fairly big bed. It was big enough for Sherman, so it was enough for two Sentients.

She found herself lying a little on him. Just in the legs though…

Kytren wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close into his neck.

Sage shut her eyes and felt herself rise and descend from his breathing.

Kytren nibbled on her neck softly.

Just under ten minutes later, Sage slowly got up off of his body and moved over to the side.

Sage kissed his forehead and tucked him in softly. "Goodnight Kytren…"

"I love you…" He said with glossy red eyes. "Promise to stay with me forever…"

Sage couldn't help but give him a smile as she then went into her sleeping state.


	9. It Could Have Been Worse

"Whoo…" Stanford rubbed his eyes as Vert placed a wet rag to his cheeks.

"You'll do awesome…! We'll be watching and supporting you the whole time."

Stanford wasn't usually the one to get as nervous as he was at the moment. He tugged on his black shirt collar and gulped. "Yeah, I know… But what if I flip?"

Vert calmly tossed the rag over and took the Brit by the shoulders. He trusted Stanford. "You won't have an accident! You've played polo, and riding a horse takes a lot of practice already. But RACING? You've worked too hard to quit and be scared."

Simon entered the stalls and faced his brother. "Hey, you have ten minutes left. You might as well get a move on."

Stanford took in a deep breath and exhaled, trembling.

"Okay…"

He walked over to his horse and scratched behind his furry pointed ear.

"Win us a race Shadow." With that, he climbed on the animal's back and slowly rode along side his brother and friend.

"Don't be scared. Be nervous. But don't be scared." Simon noted as they made their way to the gates.

* * *

"How is he?" Agura asked as she crossed one leg over the other.

"Nervous as heck. Simon was somewhat helpful, but Stan's just-…"

"Afraid to fall again?" Spinner asked.

Vert eyed the Cortez. "He was shaking."

"He told me that when he was younger he used to race. His worst accident was while he was racing. His horse, Shadow, stumbled and he was trampled pretty badly." Agura sighed. "I'm just afraid he'll remember that and pull out of the race."

The horses suddenly bolted out of the gates, their rides on top desperately trying to find the right position that would pull them ahead..

"Well, too late now!" Zoom said.

The blond didn't keep his eyes off of the Brit.

Right now he was in second, neck and neck with another jockey in a red and yellow uniform.

Stanford's purple and white solids and diamonds popped from the others, making it easy.

And it was easy to dreadfully watch him get more and more anxious.

The red-head saw that he was starting to lag a little behind another jockey. He urged his horse on a little more, but tried not to put too much pressure on his brother's horse.

(Technically his because he raced the most)

He was excited to hear a loud wave of cheers as he pulled up and into first.

Simon was acting like he was un-phased, but on the inside, he was screaming for his 'baby' brother to win.

'_C'mon you purple-loving freak! PULL INWARDS! CUT HIM OFF! WATCH YOU'RE LEFT LEG!'_

Stanford managed to be first for a while before Shadow's back left leg hooked with another horses, sending them both tumbling forward.

Agura covered her mouth in shock and gasped.

Simon bit his lip as all the other racers pulled over and swerved around them, trying to avoid collision and a possible death.

Stanford painfully dragged himself over to Shadow and tried to calm him down.

Meanwhile, the other jockey was trying to stand up and help Stanford. His horse was fine.

The same rider with the yellow and red checkerboard uniform knelt down and looked at Stanford. "You alright?"

The Brit shook his head and lied on the track on his back. "My stomach…" He whimpered.

A team of paramedics and doctors rushed out while the other racers crossed the finish line.

The crowd fell silent.

Stanford's shirt was pulled up to reveal a large black bruise. Not purple, but BLACK.

He panted as the doctors pressed on him and examined other parts of him and the other jockey.

Shadow was taken care of by a veterinarian and guided back to his stall.

Stanford placed a hand over his stomach and sat up. He held onto the fellow racer and a doctor for support, but it was too much.

The other racers stood in awe until one young man, about Stanford's age, rushed over and took one of his legs. Another came over and took the other.

As they escorted Stanford back to the infirmary area, the crowd erupted in two times the cheers they would have given off for the winner.

Simon grabbed Vert's arm.

* * *

The team followed their leader to the hospital-like area.

Stanford was lying on a small cot as his wounds were examined.

"You'll be fine. You were trampled only once and this seems to be your biggest injury. All it'll need is some ice. No walking unless absolutely necessary."

The red-head nodded and groaned.

Vert patted his shoulder.

Simon looked over to Shadow and stuck closely to his brother.

"So I guess it happened again, huh?" He wheezed.

Vert snickered and sighed. "It could have been worse…"


	10. You Horny Little Teeangers!

Agura, Vert, Tezz, A.J., Zoom and Stanford were all crowded around a table in the kitchen, laughing wholeheartedly at something Zoom was putting on a piece of paper.

Vert laughed and took his pencil before drawing two circles and an oval. "THERE."

They all laughed like crazy.

"What's that?" A.J. asked as he pointed to an edge of the paper that had gotten into some yellow-green paint.

Agura smirked before twisting it around so that the end with the color was pointed. "It's Stanford's herpes. SPREAD THE HERPES!" She laughed as she shoved it in between Tezz's legs.

Tezz, who was sitting on a stool, leaned back and fell, but stopped himself before he fell. "Almost hit my balls!" He cried and held the space between his legs.

Stanford edged on that he would kick the spot like the 'soccer star' he was.

The Russian saw the foot and fell backwards on his butt. "NO! PLEASE!"

The group laughed as he edged his legs back together.

"Bet you're used to doing that Tezz…" Zoom sniggered.

"How do you know that?" The Russian licked his lips suggestively.

Zoom fake-groaned and pressed himself up to the taller teammate. "Tonight, I shall make you suffer… come in that French maid outfit… I'll be a naughty boy so you can spank me…"

"TEZZ!" Stanford cried and burst into laughter at his friend's expression, which was a hand hovering over the Scout's backside.

A.J. covered his mouth as he laughed and tried to regain composure. "You guys are so immature!"

Vert walked to the sink, filled his mouth with water, and spit a tiny bit on her neck. "I SQUIRTED YOU…" He said with a creepy smile.

"Do it again!" She giggled.

Vert repeated his action before Agura got up enough nerve to grab his crotch.

Zoom, Stanford, and A.J burst into laughter at the awkward and sudden sight.

Tezz on the other hand, went a little over the top.

They all laughed harder while a thick blush covered his cheeks.

"YOU SNORTED!" Zoom cried, tears bursting from his eyes.

Vert covered his privates and moved away from her.

Agura stuck her tongue out, getting his attention.

"Oh! A.J. show 'em what you can do with your tongue!"

The Canadian suddenly flicked his tongue in and out of his mouth as fast as he could.

Stanford laughed.

Zoom made a short slurping sound.

* * *

At lunch, the same posse was all gathered together as they ate.

The boys stared at Agura as she bit the salad off her fork. "What?"

Vert put his foot on hers from under the table. "CHEW IT SLOWER."

Zoom giggled and twisted his grin into a slightly horrified look as she took in his request.

"I like all the white sauce on my salad…"

At the comment Tezz laughed cautiously.

Zoom cut his eyes into slits and bit his sandwich.

"You wanna go?"

She automatically knew what he meant.

He kicked her leg and she overpowered him by using both feet to pin his foot down.

A.J. snickered and watched under the table.

* * *

"Hey Sherman…" Tezz cooed as he bent over on the hood of the Buster.

The Cortez, who was repairing some of the interior, looked up. "Oh, hey Tezz." He climbed out and wiped his rag over his damp forehead.

"Look." The Russian said blankly. "Could you do me a favor?"

Sherman eyed Tezz and nodded. "Sure…"

"Could you take a little 'look', at my Splitwire?" He asked seductively while rolling his 'r's to sound like purrs.

They gazed at each other for a second before Sherman shrugged. "Sure."

As he started walking over to the secondary vehicle, Tezz stopped him and breathed heavily as he pushed the larger teammate onto the top of the tank.

Completely confused, Sherman looked up with fear. "WHAT?"

"You're so sexy when you're confused and sweaty…" Tezz pressed his lips upon Sherman's unwilling ones. He wrapped his arm around his teammate's waist and traced a finger across his belt-line.

The Cortez snapped away and gasped. "TEZZ! I'M NOT GAY!"

"Oh, I know…" Tezz grinned and walked back into the kitchen.

Awaiting him, were a few teammates on the floor laughing, tears welling.

"OH MAN! MY LUNGS!" Vert cried.

"HIS FACE WAS SO HILARIOUS!" Zoom gasped between laughs.

Tezz smirked and looked back into the garage.

Sherman looked back and backed away some with a hurt expression on his face.

The Russian smirked and winked at him.


	11. Krytus and Kyburi Are

**Krytus and Kyburi are...**

**1) Naughty**

**2) Suggestive**

**3) Caring (Him)**

**4) Caring (Her)**

**5) Adorable**

**6) Different**

**7) Supportive**

**8) Family**

* * *

Krytus eyed Kyburi from across the room.

She eyed him and smirked.

They both walked slowly towards each other.

Krytus gave a quick grab to her butt as they passed.

She stopped and made sure no one was looking before playfully grabbing his.

He smirked and walked on slyly.

"I'll get you back…"

"Oh really now?" She teased and re-faced him.

He growled and placed a hand to her waist. "Yeah, I'll get you back _tonight_…"

Kyburi looked off for a moment before nibbling on his lower lip.

He replied by nuzzling in her neck.

* * *

Training was over; everyone had taken showers and were either in their rooms, or roaming around the palace.

Krytus was busy checking on everyone before he came across Kyburi's room.

He knocked slightly before she opened the door, dripping and still in her towel. "Oh hey…"

Krytus examined her up and down before giving off a wink.

She huffed. "What do you want?"

"Just wanted to stop by… see if you were alright." He placed a finger on her shoulder.

"I know what you were hoping for…" Kyburi rolled her eyes and giggled before she dragged him in and ripped off her towel.

* * *

Krytus panted heavily as he finished off a Vandal beast.

Kyburi whimpered as she was carefully uplifted by Krylox and Kyrosys.

"It's okay, you just rolled you're ankle, that's all." Krylox said softly, trying not to make her panic.

Kyburi sniffled up her tears as they placed her in Krylox's vehicle.

Krytus quickly ran back to her and moved everyone away harshly. "Are you okay?"

She whimpered and nodded. "IT HURTS!" She cried, going against what her father said about crying in front of her team.

Kytren returned after chasing off the enemies.

"Is she alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, she'll be alright…" Krytus painfully said and started off down to his vehicle.

* * *

Kyburi kissed Krytus' forehead as he awoke from his nap.

He painfully covered his eyes and whimpered.

"How do you feel?"

"I feel like I'm gunna die…!" He cried and rubbed his temples.

She sighed and knelt down next to him. "Now now, that virus'll go away! You'll be okay."

He sniffled and smiled weakly. "I love you…"

"I love you too…"

* * *

Krytus snuggled next to Kyburi in the dimness of his room.

"You don't have to be scared anymore." He said calmingly and held her close to his chest.

Kyburi wiped away a tear and sniffled.

"Yeah, but it felt so real!"

"Well, it wasn't. But **this** is." He slowly pressed his lips against hers and pulled away bore anything too intimate could happen.

"I love you…" She muttered.

"I love you too…" He whispered back and pulled the sheets and blankets up for her.

* * *

Kyburi hissed as Krytus glared at her. "Why don't you just go and take 'our' team with you! God forbid, I have to be the only girl!"

He kept himself from really going off. "It doesn't matter if you're a girl!"

"SO WHAT! YOU ACT LIKE I'M INVISIBLE!" She yelled.

He had just been depressed over his dearest friend (Who was a girl) dying. He needed to be surrounded by guys for a while, but she never was told that.

"Only because you THINK you are!"

She turned and folded her arms.

Krylox and Kyrosys backed away, and Kytren hid behind the doorframe.

Krytus grabbed her shoulder. "Listen to m-"

"DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!" She shouted and slapped the hand away. "DON'T YOU TOUCH ME! NO, YOU DO NOT PUT A HAND ON MY BODY!"

"WILL YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND LISTEN FOR ONE DAMN SECOND?"

Kytren whimpered at the full anger in his leader's voice.

Kyrosys nearly jumped, and Krylox held his breath. "This is gunna go really bad in a second."

* * *

Krytus and Kyburi arrived from the testing arena outside the palace and smiled at each other.

"Nice work." She nodded and nudged him.

He smirked and blushed. "Nah, I screwed up a few times. You're work was perfect."

"_Pft._ I'm the one that slipped and almost caused you to get fired into the wall!"

He shrugged. "Eh, no big deal."

* * *

Kyburi walked into the living area of the palace in her pajamas: White long pants and a pink shirt.

She was busy carrying a bottle and screwing on the top when she saw something she didn't think was possible.

Krytus was asleep on the couch, holding their baby girl close to his chest. She was asleep also.

Kyburi smiled warmly and tapped his shoulder.

He stirred and opened one eye. "Hmm? What time is it?"

"C'mon. Go to bed, I'll take care of her."

She witnessed her husband sleepily yawn and walk down the hallway to their room.

Kyburi sat on the now warm couch and wrapped her daughter in a blanket.

She looked at the small red Sentient and sighed lovingly.

Kyburi made her way back into the master bedroom and found Krytus sleeping with one leg hooked over the bed.

She placed the girl on his chest, and crawled in after, snuggling in the sheets cozily.

"Krytus?"

He replied with a groan and one eye weakly opening.

Krytus was soon awake while he noticed his daughter.

He snuggled close to his wife and wrapped an arm around her waist.

She placed an arm on his chest and held their daughter.

Krytus was holding on to Kyburi, and Kyburi was holding on to the baby.

"I love you." He whispered and kissed her neck before nodding off.

"You too…" She smiled and closed her eyes.


	12. Brothers Forever No Matter What

**To the outside world we all grow old.**  
**But not to brothers and sisters.**  
**We know each other as we always were.**  
**We know each other's hearts.**  
**We share private family jokes.**  
**We remember family feuds and secrets,**  
**family griefs and joys.**  
**We live outside the touch of time.**  
**-Clara Ortega**

Sol watched his five year old brother trying to drop noodles into his tiny mouth. They slipped off and down his chest or onto the floor. He huffed and tried again.

The red Sentient woman across the table took note. "Hun…"

The Blue male next to her smiled and took his son's hands. The toddler pulled away and whined.

"What's wrong Kytren?"

The Red sniffled, threatening to cry for an hour.

"Lemme try." Sol suggested and gently took his brothers arms. He put the noodles back on his tiny plate and took a spoon. He then showed Kytren how to scoop up the food and bring it to his mouth.

Kytren giggled and went on with the new eating habit.

Sol smirked and continued explaining about his day of school.

* * *

**Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero.**  
**-Marc Brown**

Kytren's eyes were red and puffy as he tried to bring himself to pull. He whimpered before crying aloud.

"BUBBY!" He sobbed.

Sol entered with a comic in hand. "Huh?"

"Hea me et dish ou." He said while keeping his mouth open.

Sol easily gripped the tissue/paper towel, and twisted quickly. He showed his brother the tooth/fang in triumph. "You're welcome."

Kytren looked and felt the new bloody space and gave out a squeal. He then nearly tackled his brother as they hugged. "YAY!"

* * *

**There is a little boy inside the man who is my brother.**  
**Oh, how I hated that little boy.**  
**And how I love him too.**  
**-Anna Quindlan**

The young Red pre-teen got an eyeful as he gazed upon the massive school in front of him.

A few girls older than him walked past and up to the doors with ease.

He moved back some with his books and notebook before bumping into what would be a human high-schooler. Kytren whimpered as he turned and backed away again.

"BUBBY!" He cried on the verge of tears.

"Aww! It's too cute! The little wimp yelling for his 'Bubby'!" The one in the front chuckled, backing the younger one against the wall.

They suddenly all heard a throat being cleared.

The leader of the pack turned, eyes suddenly wide. "S-Sol! I-… This you're friend?" He stuttered.

Sol glared at his trembling family member, then to the jocks.

"MY BROTHER."

The three boys in the back "ooohhh'ed as they tried to sneak off.

The Blue quickly maneuvered to his brother. "You okay?"

Kytren swallowed his tears and nodded, trembling.

"As for YOU, Derek, you have a little date with MY POSSE."

On the cue of a snap, a few other blues rushed out of nowhere with war paint on their faces and a few weapons.

The jocks sprinted off, screaming.

Kytren latched onto his brother's neck and sobbed as he was carried inside and to the office.

* * *

**Our brothers and sisters are there with us**  
**from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.**  
**-Susan Scarf Merrell**

Sol and Kytren laughed with another Blue as he told them sharply about detention the previous day.

Suddenly, Abby walked by the three.

Kytren was practically drooling.

"You like her…" Sol asked and nudged his brother.

"Shut up… I'm just gunna talk to her, okay?" He blushed and started towards the beautiful girl at her locker.

The Red faced the Blue girl and took in a deep breath. "H-Hi Abby…"

She pulled her head to the side and smiled. "Oh hi! Kryten, right?"

"Kytren." He corrected.

She smiled gorgeously. "Right. Sorry. Not the best with names here… So what's up?"

He gulped and scratched the back of his head. "Uhh… I was just wondering if you were going to the dance…"

She eyed him up and down and shrugged. "Why not? Is there something you wanted to ask me?"

He giggled on like an idiot before his birth defect kicked in. "Umm… Y-You want go me? I-I MEAN-! You… want go with me? No wait… hold on…"

She smiled warmly and understandingly before nodding. "Sol told me about your defect. Of course I'll go with you. Poor baby…" With that she tightly embraced him and walked down the hallway to the doors.

Kytren leaned against her locker and sighed.

His blue friend patted him on the shoulder. "Way to go man. YOU'RE SO IN THERE!"

He backed away some and walked off with Sol to make sure their mother wouldn't get angry for waiting on them. "Yeah Yeah…"

* * *

**There is a destiny that makes us brothers, no one goes his way alone;**  
**all that we send into the lives of others, comes back into our own.**  
**-Edwin Markham**

Kytren crossed one leg over the other. He felt out of place in the large arena.

The ratio of Blues to Reds was about 5:1, and Kytren was one of the 20 percent.

He slumped down in his seat and waited. Sure, he was different, but it didn't keep his attitude in denial.

The eldest Council member called out, 'Sol', and Kytren immediately started cheering.

Sol looked up and shed a small embarrassed smile before shaking hands with his professor and getting a Member's degree. In other words, he was now an official part of the Junior's Council, which was like a smaller-but still powerful-Council.

Sol took his seat at the large semi-circular desk. The audience of parents and friends erupted in more praise.

Over it all, he could her Kytren whistling the most.


	13. Arm Wrestling Waxes!

All the boys were crowded around the kitchen table as Agura entered.

A few were cheering and others were just watching, completely neutral.

"What's goin' on?" She asked.

Vert was winning a battle at arm wrestling with Stanford.

The Brit was vigorous and was trying desperately not to put in another hand.

Vert, on the other hand, was doing fine and acted like it was natural.

Stanford was suddenly pinned down as a few teammates laughed and gave the blond a few pats.

"BEST THREE OF FIVE!" The Brit shouted, pointing with embarrassment.

"I-I wanna try Vert!" Agura smiled and scooted Stanford off his stool.

She knew exactly how this would go…

He accepted and warned her. "But you DO know what you're getting into, right?"

"Oh I KNOW…"

They went for two rounds, Agura intentionally and secretly losing.

"C'mon Agura!' A.J. patted her shoulder.

"Okay, okay… lets make this a little interesting…" Vert eyed her. "If I win, you have to make out with me for an HOUR-"

"What?"

"-AFTER, our dinner date and a movie. That's right babe…" The whole table was crowded around the two giggling and 'oohhhh'ing at everything. "you and me. THE WHOLE DAY."

She smirked cockily and nodded. "And if _I_ win… you all have to get… BRAZILIAN WAXES… ALL OF YOU…"

The boys covered their mouths in shock as they urged Vert to do it and win.

"C'mon Vert!"

"You've beaten her before!"

Vert nodded and stuck out his arm, getting a wave of cheers.

Agura did the same.

"Okay, ready… set… GO!"

On command Agura pinned Vert's arm down like it was nothing and stood up in triumph. "YES! YES LORD! LET'S GO BOYS!"

The blond twitched and glared at her. "You cheated!"

"She didn't…" Sherman said-jaw dropped to the floor.

Zoom suddenly stepped in. "I dunno about you, but I don't want my balls waxed… peace." He exited the room in a hurry, only to get stopped by Agura. "Nope! I won fair and square. Let's get a move on!"

They all groaned as they headed out to their vehicles.

"ALPHABETICL ORDER!" She yelled.

"Yesss!" Zoom muttered.

* * *

"I-Is this gunna hurt?" A.J. asked while holding a towel in his mouth.

The woman getting her things organized shook her head. "Nah… IT'LL BURN. Now hold still."

"Dah, I'm gunna kill you for this Agu-RAAAHH! OH GOD! JESUS!" The Canadian whimpered, dropping the towel.

The woman snickered and slapped him. "It'll be fine! Calm down. NEXT!"

Agura couldn't hold back a smile as she witnessed A.J. roll off to the side in pain.

Sherman pried himself off the wall where everyone else was shaking in fear. He shook his head and grasped Agura's shoulder's. "PLEASE! I'll make out with you! I'll be your slave for the next two years! I SWEAR-!"

"Sorry! A deal's a deal! Now lay down so Macy can get this over with." She winked to the woman working.

The Cortez sniffled and pushed his jeans down to his mid-hips. "Ehh, this is gunna hurt so bad!"

He covered his mouth and bit his lip until it bled, but he managed to get through it.

Spinner took in a deep breath and moved where his brother was.

"Lord, I'm sorry! Whatever I did before… you can take this as my punishment!"

It was quick and painful, but he managed to get through it with only a muffled scream.

Stanford had to be dragged over to the table.

He trembled before the, uh… PROCEDURE… and got out. "Do I have a scar?" He asked Sherman.

"You scared Tezz?" Zoom snickered as the Russian lied down.

"Scared? Heh! W-What-Why would I b-be scared?"

The Scout shrugged and giggled. "You just… seem a little nervous."

"AHH, SHHHHHHHHHHHH…-!" He cringed and held his arm over his eyes.

Vert swallowed hardly as he walked over and shook his head at Agura. "You evil little monster…"

Vert could only scream into a pillow to let the pain out.

Zoom shrugged and walked over calmly.

He was done in a few seconds and barely had any emotion. "I've had this done before. I'm A Muay Thai fighter… SUCK IT UP YOU PANSIES!" He fake slapped Stanford and Spinner.

Agura smiled and thanked her friend before they all headed out.

"I call to get ice first!" A.J. cried.


	14. The Couples

**A/N: So one day, while I was lying in bed thinking before I went to sleep… What if everyone had kids?**

**I KNOW I KNOW! It's cliché, but don't get me wrong, I'm sure there's at least one person out there who wants to see this happen too… So I'll separate it in couples…**

**XP**

**To make it easier. **

**TYTYTY!**

**~Invader**

* * *

**VERTxAGURA**

The blond sat up to a loud panging in the kitchen. He looked over to see his wife still soundly asleep.

Couldn't have been her…

He lied back down and nuzzled into her shoulder, making the figure squirm and giggle in her sleep.

"Stop…! Heh heh!"

There was another loud pang, sending Vert immediately downstairs.

Agura stepped over the side of the bed sleepily and followed.

Vert walked in to see a small boy around six, trying to 'cook' with empty pots and pans.

He snapped his head up. "Oh, sorry." He said and continued.

Vert grabbed one pot and moved it to the high counter, where his son couldn't reach.

"Aww! Why do do dat?" He asked dramatically. Vert shed a smile and a laugh, but shook his head. "You want some real food or what?"

"Yay!" The boy ran up and clung to his father's leg. Vert rolled his eyes and trudged around to the fridge.

Agura then entered sleepily, one hand occupied with a small baby girl.

"So, you makin' breakfast?"

"Why else would I be taking all the ingredients for waffles out?"

She giggled and kissed his cheek. "Morning." Vert kissed Agura and his daughter's forehead, then slowly returned to cooking.

* * *

**TEZZxAGURA**

"What does… Father, mean?" Tezz asked as he filed some papers and documents.

"_Otets._" A nearly teenage boy replied without a thought.

Tezz smirked and grabbed another file. "What does Mother mean?"

The black-haired boy blew his bangs out of his face and turned, his hands propping him up on his father's desk. "Ummm… _Materi._"

"You're right, I'll tell you that. Man, you're getting' good!"

The boy showed a toothy smile for drama and hung onto the doorknob. "When can we go blow stuff up?"

"In just a minute. I have to be ORGANIZED." Tezz replied.

The boy looked out the door and turned. He saw another Russian man working at his desk. He looked up, gave him that smile that grown-ups only give to little kids, and turned back to typing.

"Um… Hey dad?"

"Yeah?"

"What's that?"

Tezz peered out his doorway and took off his glasses. He managed to see the contraption he and his colleagues were constructing.

"Oh, that's like a-like-like a ray, don't touch it." He got up from his desk, locked the door behind him and guided his son over to the testing rooms.

"Ready to blow something up?"

"YEAH!"

As soon as Tezz and his son came home, two other children and Agura were coughing.

"TAKE A SHOWER!" I little girl said.

The boy walked into the kitchen, followed by Tezz.

Agura covered her mouth. "Ugh! You two smell like ash and fumes!"

As soon as the coast was clear of any children-since they were either running around or watching television or reading-Tezz clung onto his wife and purred loudly. "I thought you said you liked me when I come home all tried and sweaty."

She bit her lip and giggled. "Yeah, but I hate it when you and YOUR child come home and smell like bleach and the remains of the fireplace! Now go up and take a shower! NOW!"

He sighed and turned. "Okay… but… can you come up there when I'm done?"

Agura bit her lip once more and pushed him out. "GO!" She giggled.

* * *

**ZOOMxGRACE**

Zoom was handed some water by his wife.

Grace stepped back a few feet. "Ugh…"

He moved the water some. "What?"

"You're just all gross and sweaty…"

Zoom chuckled and twirled around on his heel. "So, how about after the rest of my training, we'll shower up and go have a romantic dinner? Eh? Huh?"

Grace let off a sly smirk. "I SUPPOSE… Anyways, I'll be back upstairs."

Zoom watched his beloved friend exit the room.

As the ex-Scout came out of the steamy bathroom, he re-adjusted the towel around his waist and moved towards his dresser.

Grace was brushing her hair on the side of the bed as she watched him get dressed. "So, we go have dinner and then what?"

He shrugged. "Or we could skip dinner and get right to the end of how our night is going…"

Her eyes widened as he moved towards her.

"Zoom?"

He growled and held her down.

Grace grasped his wrists and tried everything to get up. "YOU WIN! OKAY? I quit!"

Zoom smirked and nuzzled into her neck. "Good. Now what's my award?" The dark brunette looked up with a sparkle in her eyes. "You want it now or later?"

Zoom pondered and sighed. "Later. We might as well go ahead and eat before we get tired. Heh…"

Grace snuggled into his neck for a moment and then started to get dressed.

* * *

Sentient time!

**KRYTUSxKYBURI**

Sage answered her door at four in the morning to find an ecstatic Red waiting.

She squealed and jumped on the Blue.

"SAGE! Omigosh, guess what guess what guess what?"

"What?" Sage asked, half-awake even after the tackle.

Kyburi couldn't contain herself from glomping her sister-in-law. "YOU'RE GUNNA BE AN AUNT!"

Sage's eyes popped open as she squealed as well.

"REALLY? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

"YES! Krytus set it all up, omigosh it was SO ROMANTIC!" She fanned herself. "So he took me out to dinner, and then we talked about kids, and then, we came back, and he already had the bed nice and made and the drinks and the flowers, YOU GET THE POINT! But then it was like… midnight, so we, ya' know…" She brought her hands up to show her. "So THEN, an hour friggin', later, I get up and test myself. AND HERE I AM!"

By now Sol was yawning. "What's with all the screaming?"

"SOL YOU'RE AN UNCLE." Kyburi said blankly, yet loudly.

He blinked. "Wow, Kytren really committed!"

"No! Krytus! And besides, Kytren's wife is already pregnant with twins."

"WHAT? !" The Blue male ran downstairs and straight to the phone.

Kyburi giggled. "Anyways, I AM SO EXCITED!"

Sage wrapped her arms around her friend. "I am too! I didn't know that Krytus would be like that. So where is he?"

"Face the facts hun, he's grown. And he's off to his friend's house. The creepy Blue that stays up at night and sleeps during the day."

Sol arrived back in the foyer, jaw dropped. "I can't believe he forgot to tell me! Everything's happening so fast…" He suddenly snapped up and took his wife by the arm. "C'MON SAGE!"

Sage laughed aloud and waited for Kyburi to say her goodbyes and to close the door behind her.

Sol was trying to pull her up another step, but she refused.

* * *

**SAGExSOL**

Sol and Sage arrived home one night after a long lecture/speech by the Council.

"Okay, I promise, I won't make you go through that again…"

Sage snickered. "It's okay." They both started upstairs to take a shower.

The Blues took turns, ladies going first.

Sol waited her to finish as he lied down on his back. "You think we should have a baby?"

She looked over for a split second before shrugging. "I mean, I wouldn't really mind having one… what about you?"

Sol got up slowly and started the hot water while taking off his covering. "I guess. It would be nice to have a little one besides your brother's daughter run around the house."

She slipped on some night-wear and nodded. "Yeah…"

Sol sighed. "Well, you think about it, and decide when I get out. I'm perfectly fine with your decision."

Sage huffed to herself and laid on her side of the bed.

"You come up with anything yet?" Sol asked as he sorted through his dresser.

Sage nodded. "Yes…"

He looked over in suspicion, a confused look plastered on his face. "You don't sound sure…"

The Blue female got up and moved to her husband.

He yelped as his hips were grabbed.

Being thrown onto the bed wasn't that much fun either.

However, he was surprised to see the other figure on top of him.

"I think I wanna have a baby." She said and brushed her lips to his.

He replied with a full kiss, and his towel ending up somewhere near his dresser.

Sage purred as he nibbled on her neck. "I love you…" He assured.

She smiled. "I know. I love you too."

Sol managed to dominate over her, getting himself on top.


	15. A Blundle of Quotes!

Spinner and Sherman: *Dancing in poufy Spanish traditional outfits* TAQUITOOOOS!

* * *

Vert: *Stares with creepy face* THE VOICES TELL ME TO KILL YOU.

* * *

**ALL SONGS BY RUCKA RUCKA ALI!**

Agura: I'm afraid downtown, cuz some people there are brown! (I'm Afraid)

Tezz: Mmm Russia's gaaaay, in it everyone had AIDS… and they all got it, from buttsecks… their president finger-bangs them little kids! *Realizes the song and gets pissed* (Russia's Gay)

A.J. Canada, eh, It's only there until they do something we don't like, EH! (Canada)

Sherman and Spinner: TAQUITOSSS! 20 SECONDS IN THE MICROWAVE THAT'S ALL! I'M A GRINGO, LET'S PLAY BINGO! (Taquitos)

Vert: When freedom calls, it's calling collect! So tell the operator, yes I accept! Cuz these colors match the f*ckin carpet and drapes, let's play some f*ckin games! GO AMERICA! (iWhack)

Stanford: F*ck Australia, f*ck Australia, f*ck Australia, f*ck Australia! **(LOLZ If u listen to the song, part of it sounds like STANFORD. REALLY) **(Eff Australia)

Zoom: CHING CHANG CONG! CHING CHANG CHONG! (Ching chang chong)

All: (In choir format) If you are cold out, I know a place u b*tches could warm up! (Take Yo Pants Off)

* * *

Stanford: WHOOO! I'M NOW THE ONE OBESSED OVER! *Shoves Tezz*

Tezz: :'(

Me: …Well… Tezz and u could be together. A COMBINATION OF MY FAVE ACCENTED PEOPLE!

Tezz: YEAH!

Stanford: Uh-huh!

Tezz: U KNOW WHAT IT DO! ERR'A BODY THERE F*CK KANGAROO!

Stanford: XDDD *Huggles Tezz* I wuv u!

* * *

Sherman: OwO AUSSIE!

* * *

Stanford: ELLO MATE! I ABSELOUTELY LOVE TEA AND CRUMPITS! OH ELLO LOVE!

Tezz: ELLO! I WOULD LOVE SOME CRUMPITS!

Stanford: *Voice crackles* POPPYCOCK!

Tezz: BWAHAHAHAHAAA!

* * *

Stanford: I'M SO MUCH SMAU-TA THAN THE PEOPLE FROM THE UNI-ED STATES! FEB-U-RY! WHY WE'RE ALL HAOLF RE-TA-ED!

Anti-Vert: *Pins him to the wall*

Stanford: VURT! I-I WOUN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU THIS TUYME!

Anti-Vert: }XD HAHAHAHAAA! (Evilly)

* * *

Stanford: MY KOALAS WILL ATTACK!

* * *

A.J.: EH!

* * *

A.J.: I PREFER MAH SNOW POWDERY EH!

* * *

Vert: (With whole body painted red white and blue) *Punches Tezz* DOWN SOVIET! USA! USA! USA!

Tezz: *Holds broken nose* O0O

* * *

Stanford: HEHEHE! W-WOULD U LIKE A CRUMPIT?

Agura: Ummm… no I'm okay…

Stanford: PLEASE TAKE ONE! (High pitched) HEHEHEHEHEHEHEEE!

Agura: Too many beers Stanford… TOO MANY BEERS…

* * *

Zeke: AND NOW… TIME FOR… _BATTLE FORCE 5 THEATER_!

Audience in the diner: *Applauds*

Zeke: This week's theme, COUNTRY STEREOTYPES…

All: Oooohhhh!

(Stage darkens as two people move into place)

*LIGHTS SUDDENLY GO UP*

Agura: *Sitting with baggy clothes filing her nails* So… what chu got right thur? *Points to package* (Typical ghetto accent)

Stanford: (Dressed in a top hat, a Sherlock Holmes costume, and a fake penciled-in moustache.) I SAY! CARE FOR A CRUMPIT?

(Laughter)

Agura: Bro, weren't chu listinin'? I said, what's in dat peckage?

Stanford: Ou… righto… I suppose it's for… ME!

Agura: Oh really, you check it for a gun? Some weed up in this mothaf*cka…? *Snatches package*

(Laughter)

Stanford: Oi! Give back me package!

Sherman: *Enters stage with sombrero and poncho on*

Crowd: *Laugh hardly*

Sherman: Ese! Was that the Government lookin' for me man? Tell 'em I went back to Me-h-eco!

Agura: GET UR *SS OUTSIDE AND MOW THE LAWN!

Stanford: I doun't recall! B-But take a look at my package!

Sherman: Woah… I-I don't wanna look down there…!

Crowd: *Laugh*

Spinner: *Rushes in with the same costume* BRO! _Tenemos que salir de aquí. La policía está detrás de nosotros! VAMANOS!_

Sherman: *Screams and runs off stage*

Spinner: *Follows*

Vert: *Rushes in* Y'all seen any Mexicanos 'round here?

Crowd: *Laugh because he's in Sheriff Johnsons' clothes*

Agura Uhh-uhh…

Stanford: Uhh… M-Maybe?

Vert: *Leans in closely* You makin' wise jokes crackerjack?

Stanford: CRUMPITS? OH BLOODY HELL! I'M LATE FOR A MEETING! I'VE HAD IT WITH ALL THIS POPPYCOCK! TATA MATES! *Walks off* POPPYCOCK!

Vert: *Sits with Agura*

Agura: Sup dog…

Vert: What'd you just call me?

Agura: Dog? It's the newest thing!

Vert:… Dog…? My name is not K-9, IT'S TOBY QUEEF!

Crowd: *Laugh loudly*

Agura: *Giggles* Yeah, well at least you ain't as slow as that guy!

Zoom: *Walks in wearing Thai traditional clothing*

Vert: IMMIGRANT!

Zoom: NO NO! I citizen! *Pulls out cardboard card*

Vert: *Eyes him* Very well. Just don't be talkin' in that ching chang chong mess! I can't understand that crap.

Zoom: You want chicken fried rice for two? Okay! *Walks off*

Tezz: *Watches Zoom exit as he enters*

Vert: SOVIET!

Tezz: (In thicker Russian accent. He's wearing a Russian military uniform) Nyet! I-I a good Russian! I don't want to hurt your people… Just spread good times and vodka! Come, I show you how a real man drink and beat wife. *Laughs some and contains himself*

Vert: Nah. You prob'ly got high off of those Mexicans… Tell me Soviet…

Tezz: TEZZ.

Vert: Right Ser-jay… (Sergei)

Crowd: *Laughs*

Vert: Now tell me, are you married?

Tezz: Yes.

Vert: And do you have kids?

Tezz: Yyyes.

Vert: And how many?

Tezz: Including the ones I sold for vodka?

Crowd: Ooohhhh!

**(NOTE: Tezz was a little upset that he had to day that)**

Agura: Ey, you wanna have a good time, I'm workin' dis weekend… *Slides him her number* Call me… *Leaves*

Tezz: *Looks at Vert*

Vert: SOVIET! *Pulls out fake gun and shoots Tezz*

Tezz: *Dies*

Vert: *Rips off shirt to reveal a painted chest with USA across in red white and blue* USA! USA! USA! *Runs off stage*

A.J.: … *Walks on stage* *Looks around* Just wanted somebody to snowboard with, eh?

Zoom: *Returns* DOG-I-I Mean, YOU'RE CHICKEN READY!

A.J.: O.O'

Vert: USA! *Shoots Zoom*

(Lights go down)

Audience: *Clap and whistle*

All: *Get up to the front and bow*

* * *

Spinner: CAAAKE!

* * *

Sherman: A HUMAN BICYCLE? NO WAY!

* * *

All BF5 cast: *Gather in a bar*

Zoom: *Steps up on the counter* As you all know, there's been a 8.9 earthquake and tsunami in Japan…

All: ;(

Zen: *Nods and sniffs*

Zoom: So, to raise money for Japan…

All: *Look up*

Zoom: Tell tsunami f*ck-a u!

(Rave music starts)

Zen: Oh wa-oh! Oh-wa-a! *Raves* Put yo hands up. Put yo hands up in the air, take off yo underwear!

Zoom: Tell tsunami f*ck-a u!

Tezz: WHOO! *Sprays vodka all over everyone*

Zoom: *Breaks it down with Vert* Imma-

Vert: Imma ninja turtle!

Zoom: Imma ninja turtle!

Vert: Turtle power!

Zoom: Turtle power!

Vert: Super magic turtle power!

**(Then Vert and Zoom do that ghetto booty-rub XD)**

Girls: *Scream*

Zoom: Gimme money!

Girls: *Throw up money at the two*

Vert: We need money!

Zoom: Everybody-

Vert: Give us money!

Zoom: Ninja ninja turtle!

Vert: F*ck u-

Zoom: Cowabunga dude!

Zoom and Zen: *Get up higher and do some of the same complicated moves.

Zen: *Grabs Zoom's shoulders*

Zoom: *Leans backwards some*

Zen: *Follows and laughs*

Girls: EEEEEEE!

Zoom: *Almost touches his tongue to Zen's*

Zen: *Grabs Zoom's hips and does a dirty move with him*

Agura: *Faints*

Spinner: What Japan needs right now is some tiger blood and seven gram rocks. Duh, winning. I would be fine out there in Japan, I'm super f*cking human, they're losing, I'm winning, DUH. How 'bout if I come out there, cover all you Japanese in my tiger sperm, winning, duh, winning, duh, winning… Winning, duh, winning, duh, winning, duh, winning… DUH! Forget Japan, Japan is gone, nobody cares, its Emilio Estevez, duh, winning. Did I ask my father what to do about Japan? No, DUH. I'M A GROWN MAN, hello! Duh, winning, winning, DUH! I don't need to hear what my father says, DUUUH.

* * *

Random girl: Ima cut chou!

Zen: I CUT U RIKE CHINEE CHICKEN!

* * *

Anti-Vert: BWAHAHAA! *Pushes Agura in the Hub's pool*

Agura: *Gasps for air and gets out* IMMA KILL YOU!

All guys: *Drool and stare*

Agura: What? *Gasps and covers chest*

Anti-Vert: Eeeexactly.

* * *

Spinner: *Singing to himself* DRRAH, NINJA, NINJA TURTLE!

Sherman: THAT'S WINNING!

Spinner: Duh.

Vert: DUH!

Zoom: Winning.

* * *

Agura: Are you SURE you're not a girl? *Glares at Tezz*

Tezz: Really?

Agura: Yes. Show me…

Tezz: IS THIS ENOUGH PROOF? *Pulls up shirt*

Agura: *Shrugs* A lot of girls have flat chests.

Tezz: *Points to Adam's apple*

Agura: -_- Is that the best u got? I have a little bit of one too!

Tezz: *Pushes down pants and folds arm*

Agura: THAT COULD BE A BUNDLE OF SOCKS!

Tezz: *Huffs and flashes her* THERE… *Walks off*

Agura: OwO *Leans on the Buster for a moment and squeals* HOLY CRAP… XwX

* * *

Vert: I cut u like Chinee chicken!

A.J.: F*ck u b*tch, GET IN THE KITCHEN!

Vert: I'm in the kitchen.

A.J.: Oh, then cook me up some fish and wash the dishes!

Vert: *Raises a finger and laughs* XD

* * *

Vert: Okay, okay… This is our finished product.

Agura: *Giggles* (Reading the paper that Vert, Zoom, and A.J. did.)

**(* =Vert**

**- =Zoom**

**~ =A.J.)**

Agura:

*Tezz and Sherman went bowling.

-Tezz slipped and broke his arm and started screamin' like 'SKRAAAA! MAMAAAA!'

~Sherman and Tezz went to the ER.

*Tezz had AIDS in his mouth.

-Sherman slapped Tezz in the face 'HOW DID U GET AAAAAIDS! ?'

~Scraaah? Me and Stanford were playing in oraaange baseball dirt. HE SLID 'HOME'! OWW! The doctor then poked Tezz's *ss.

*Then the doctor drew a bit too much blood and Tezz died. THE END.'

All: *Laughing*

Tezz: *Clears throat*

All: *Turn*

Sherman: *Pops knuckles*

Tezz: *Taps a metal baseball bat on his heel* U all better run…

All: *Run*

Both: XP

* * *

Agura: Srry, kewel kids only…

Spinner: So why did Tezz go through…?

Vert: SPINNER!

Tezz: No, no… it's okay…

Spinner: Whew…

(Buster's turret opens)

Tezz: It'll be okay AFTER I KILL YOU!

Spinner: AHHH! DRIVE!

Sherman: He'll still be with us!

* * *

Vert: Hey Stan! Where did u put my two balls? *Quickly turns to Spinner* SHUT UR MOUTH…

Spinner: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING! XD

* * *

Zoom: Punch me as HARD AS YOU CAN in my stomach!

Vert: Okay! *Punches him hard*

Zoom: -_- That's the BEST YOU CAN DO?

**(Really, you can punch my friend Austin in the stomach as hard as you can and he won't even flinch… LOLZ he pulled up his shirt one time… *Drools*)**

* * *

Tezz: You with ur, boxers hangin' out half ur butt!

* * *

A.J.: MILKY MILKSHAKE!

* * *

**(This once again, happened in class and we were all dying laughing)**

Sherman: Oh, LIKE UR BOYFRIEND?

All: OooOOOHHHH!

Zoom: Now that was NYAWT NYICE…

Vert: Imma call him right now… (Uses hand as a phone) *Pulls it to his ear* DING- *Pulls it down* DONG.

All: *Die laughing*

* * *

Kytren: This isn't Gettysburg punk, I'd suggest retreating.

Krytus: For I invented rap music when my heart started beating…

Kyburi: Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.

Kyrosys: My raps will blow your mind like the verbal John Wilkes Booth.

…

Zoom: I AM CHUCK F*CKING NORRIS!

Sherman: I've spread more blood and gore than forty score of your puny civil wars B*TCH!

Spinner: I split the Union with a roundhouse kick!

Tezz: I wear a black belt, on the beard, that I grow, ON MY D*CK!

Agura: I attack sharks, when I smell them BLEED!

Vert: I don't go swimming! WATER JUST WANTS TO BE AROUND ME!

A.J.: My fists make the speed of light WISH that it was faster!

Stanford: You may have freed the slaves, but CHUCK IS EVERYONE'S **MASTER!**

* * *

(The Team was eating one afternoon in the diner)

Stanford, Vert, A.J., and Tezz: *Put on sunglasses and vests* WE NEED SOME WHITE KIDS!

Zoom, Agura, Sherman and Spinner: ^^' W-We don't know them…

Vert: What's a party, without white kids? Let's get high and watch 'Family Guy' or we can acid and watch 3-D Spy Kids. Snort Adderral and watch Barney.

All: HI KIDS!

Stanford: Don't get me wrong, we need one black guy to be like-

A.J.: Yo dawg-

Agura: O.O;

Stanford:-but otherwise step aside kid.

Tezz: Everyone's like, 'YEAH N*GGA!'

All: SHHH!

Vert: There's a black guy, don't piss him off he at least has a knife!

Tezz: We got white hoes on the dance floor, two shots of rum and they takin' they pants off!

Stanford: I'm a teacher in some black ghetto, it's the weekend! I'm suckin' some d*ck yo!

A.J.: And then when the police, shows up they're like,

Tezz: Aw shucks it's just some white kids smoking crack!

Vert: Here point a gun at that black guy!

Tezz: STOP RESISTING!

All: *Keep singing until the end of the song*

Agura, Sherman, Spinner, and Zoom: *Slowly leave*

* * *

A.J.: Are u crying?

(After watching 'The Blind Side')

Stanford: NO! *Sniffle*

* * *

Zeke: MORE OPEN-MIC NIGHT!

Spinner: If you're a real fan of classic television, you know where this is from…

West Philadelphia, born and raised, B-ball, where I spent most of my days… Outside relaxin' all cool and stuff, and… chillin' outside. Couple of fools, meant no good! Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood! I got in one little fight and my mom got scared she said, 'You're movin' with yo aunt and uncle to Philly!

(Laugher)

Dwa-dueah… Towauh… California or somethin'… Get herpes, I dunno what it's called…

(Laugher)

Spinner: …I, PULLED-

* * *

Tezz: They paid me to say this… GET OUT OF MY PORN STASH! XDD

* * *

Sherman: They're not gunna say, Omigod, there's a red bump on my penis, I HOPE I DON'T HAVE HERPES…

Person: *Walks by their table and stares*

Sherman: O/O

Spinner: BRO! SO _THAT'S_ WHERE ALL UR B-DAY MONEY WENT! ON GIRLS!

Zoom: Guys, we all know that Sherman shows NO sexual want towards girls ever…

Sherman: THIS. ISN'T. OVER… **(Keep this part in mind…)**

* * *

Vert: Look at that guy in his damn wheelchair in the street… ARE YOU RETARDED? !

Agura: *Pulls over and laughs uncontrollably*

* * *

(Listen to 'TONIGHT' by Enrique Iglesias. I also made a comic for this. Yes, I draw.)

Sol: *Grabs Sage by the waist* Here's the situation, been to every nation, nobody's ever made me feel the way that you doooo… *Lays her on a table and leans over her* You know my motivation, given my reputation… *Pulls her up and pins her to a wall* Please excuse me I don't mean to be rude… but tonight I'm-

**(SMACK!)**

Sage: SOL! THIS IS A KID'S SHOW!

Sol: *On the floor in pain* L-Lovin'… you! *Cough*

Sage: O/O Oh! Hehe… ^^; My bad!

* * *

Zoom: Wake up in the mornin', smellin' like P-Diddy's nutsack…

All: XDDD

* * *

Zen: Yesss… *Starts smoking pot*

(2 hours later)

Zoom: Hey Zen, where's my-…

Zen: H-Hey ZOOM! Com-ere! I got-I wanna pheghhh…

Zoom: What?

Zen: *Grabs Zoom and pushes him on his bed*

Zoom: ZEN! WHAT THE HELL? !

Zen: *Snuggles in his chest* I wuv you… Can we has babies?

Zoom: Uhh... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE…

Zen: Awww… still… *Takes his pants off*

Zoom: HELP!

Zen: *Grabs Zoom's crotch*

...

**(THE NEXT MORNING)**

Zen: Ugh... w-what happened?

Zoom: We got high and had minor sex...

Zen: NOOOOOOO!

* * *

**For all you sick, twisted ZenxZoom fangirls out there…**

Zen: Ahh!

Zoom: *Groans and runs hand down his chest*

Zen: I-I think I'm gunna…! Ahh~!

Zoom: Me too… just… ughhh!

Zen: I'm gunna…! Ahh! AHHH-!

Zoom: AUAGH-!

Zen: *Weird sound* Dah… that's better… pass me a tissue?

Zoom: *Sneezes* Oh! That hurt! Here… *Hands tissue*

**MIND TRICKS! GET UR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER READERS!**

* * *

Vert: Y'ALL… DURP!

* * *

Krytus: Kytren… KYTREN…

Kytren: What? OMIGOD…

Krytus: IT'S FRIDAY… YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS…

Both: *Gasp and start singing* It's HIGH DAY! HIGH DAY! MAKE A B*TCH WAIT OUTSIDE, DAY!

Kyburi: O-O

Kytren: *Takes out the weed and some heroin* Everybody's smoking on purple keef, no cheap sh*t!

Both: HIGH DAY! HIGH DAY! ORDER CRACK ONLINE DA-AY!

Krytus: *Takes the weed and smokes before he sings again* Smoke coke and choke a b*tch because she speakin'-

Kyburi: *Grabs a bat* RUN!

Kytren: Smokin' me, smoking some-

Krytus: CRACK! *Runs*

Both: Smokin' me, smokin'-

Kyrosys: (On ecstasy) I'M BLACK!

All three: BLUNTS, GUNS, FUN, YOU KNOW THIS WEED IS MIXED WITH ECSTASY, B*TCH! *Laugh like idiots*

Kytren: Blauaghhhh… *Snorts some cocaine* Oh yes…

Krytus: Lucky… your nose is big enough… I have like… a chocolate-chip… You have a black person nose… **(A/N: LOLZ One time I was told that by my sister. Srry if it offends.)**

Kytren: You don't understand… I WAS MADE TO SNIFF COKE…

* * *

Rawkus: (High) THIS IS SO KEWEL!

Zoom: IKR?

* * *

Spinner: Now… it's the end of the day, so we're gunna go check on our meth lab…

(Spinner and Stanford walk into a room with Vert in his boxers and Agura and Anti-Agura in bras and panties.)

Stanford: Afternoon ladies and Vert!

* * *

Vert: LADY, GENTELMEN, AND STANFORD…

* * *

Zoom: Alright… let's head on out for pizza…

Tezz: Oh thank God! I'm STARVANG! (Like a bird)

All: *Burst into laughter*

* * *

A.J.: BUTTCRACK WIPES?

* * *

Agura: *Laughing* Hot pockets? UR TOO CUTE ZOOM! *Ruffles his hair*

Zoom: I AM ZOOM! HEAR ME RAWR! Mew!

* * *

A.J.: Retarded ninja… *Has fake seizure*

* * *

Stanford: What would you do if you were a man for a day, Agura?

Agura: PEE STANDING UP…

Spinner: Some girls can already do that…

Agura: REALLY? *Runs to the bathroom*…. (Muffled) OH, COOL!

All: *Groan*

* * *

Spinner: I CAN'T HELP MY ABNORMALLY LARGE EARS!

Zoom: …

Spinner: *Starts talking loudly*

Zoom: SHUT UR EARS UP!

All: XDDD

Sherman: *Covers mouth* No!

Stanford: OH COME ON! Please? It's hilarious!

Sherman: (In pretty good Elmo voice) Elmo loves balls!

* * *

Agura: *Hitting side of fist on Vert's shoulder* Don't ya' just hate it when people beat-off on ur shoulder?

* * *

Spinner: As if we don't know!

Zoom: Know what?

A.J.: That you and Tezz masturbate.

Tezz: *Stands up* IT IS HEALTHY FOR U DAMMIT!

Zoom: Yeah! Or else your jizz and stuff can back up and make ur balls swell and it'll be painful in ur forties.

Tezz: And if you don't do that, then it gets backed up in your system, and then your organs can fail, and soon your heart can stop al; because you didn't TOUCH YOURSELF!

Zoom: IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

Tezz: HUH?

Zoom: DO YA'? !

Agura: Okaaay, I'm gunna go now…

Zoom: BESIDES. I have a girlfriend.

Tezz: A beautiful one…

Zoom: But the thing is,

Tezz: WE DON'T GET TO SEE THEM EVERYDAY…

Sherman: Riiiight… Me too!

Spinner: BRO!

* * *

Vert and Agura: *Face each other*

Vert: Nom nom nom nom babies!

* * *

Once again, KEEP THE SHERMAN BIT STUCK ON THE STICKEY-NOTE OF UR BRAINS FOR A WHILE…

**THIS…**

**ISN'T…**

**OVER…**


	16. INTERBEING DANCING! Whatever that means

At the end of the year, all of the good guys would have a party. Like a dance. There was food, a nice DJ (Stanford), and lots of unexpected twists.

This year, was the best one yet.

Zen, Simon, and a few other off characters would join in and make the party have up to 50 people. Even some of the bad guys came. It was the one day a year where there was a truce between everyone.

What really surprised Vert, was how the Reds out-casted so much.

It all started with 'Look at Me Now'. As soon as Stanford put the beat down, Kytren and Kyrosys screamed and freaked out like girls. They screamed and sang/rapped along as they pulled people in with the crowd that was slowly forming.

Soon, there were all sorts of beings out on the floor. When Stanford played 'Super Bass' by Niki Manaj, Kyburi and Sage squealed and grabbed Krytus and Sol.

Anti-Agura and Anti-Vert both were laughing while they experimented with cute moves and things.

Meanwhile, Vert and Agura vowed to dance to the next song. Luckily, it was 'On the Floor' by Jennifer Lopez and Pitbull.

Agura gasped and dragged Vert out to the center where she and her Anti as well as Kyburi showed them all a thing or two about how to get a boys attention.

The boys got their turn with 'Bottoms Up'.

Everyone, even Zen, Tezz, and Sol screamed at 'Black and Yellow'. That's when everyone got close and started dancing.

The red head was given a special request once something like this happened by Anti-Agura. He smirked as that song ended, and started a requested one.

One that got the goys to crowd around, one that got the girls to squeal and all get together, one that made them all scream.

'Drop it Low' by Ester Dean started.

"Zen, I don't think you see this…" Zoom laughed. "HELL NO! I wanna see this!" He yelled over the music and watched.

Getting away from the guys, Tezz walked over to his friend behind the booth.

"Hey, play this." He said and gave him a random track. "Just play it after this."

The Brit shrugged and popped it into his system before the song ended.

As soon as 'How Low' by Ludacris played, they all spit up with their own posses. **(A/N: Posse… but the plural)**

Vert fooled around and grabbed Agura's hips while he was behind her.

Zen moved over to Zoom. "Is this what you all normally do at parties?"

The Thai shook his head. "Only when someone's spiked the punch…" He pondered and watched the two laugh at themselves while she noticed his arm and… for the kid's sake… let's just say, they complied with each other, making the others laugh.

Spinner pushed the young Thai with Agura.

She giggled. "You sure you wanna dance with me Zen?"

He replied by tossing his jacket over to the corner and pulling her to his… pelvic area… FOR THE KIDS! DON'T HATE ME 'CAUSE I'M NOT DESCRIPTIVE! It's better than, they started dry-humping…'!

Spinner eyed Zoom. "DID YOU TEACH HIM THAT?"

Zoom shook his head and laughed as he watched Zen and Agura start doing more explicit, suggestive moves.

Stanford listened as Kytren requested a song.

He smirked and started the next song immediately.

'Rude Boy' got them all rowdy again.

Zen let Agura go and faced her.

"You wanna dance again?"

He nodded.

"Well, lemme get with the guys that are taller than me before you again. Okay?"

Zen giggled and walked over with Zoom. "Dude, THAT WAS HOT! How did you learn that?"

He smiled and shrugged. "I dunno! She's sexy!"

They looked back at Agura, who was getting held by Sherman while they both laughed some and moved slowly.

Zen looked back and giggled. "She's sooooo hot… She touched my butt."

"Wow…" Zoom said and started over to Stanford, joined by Tezz.

The Brit looked up and took off his headphones, giving them to Tezz. "Here, play 'Deuces'. It's already about to play after this song ends, but just be sure it doesn't skip. I've taught you things back at the Hub, YOU CAN DO THIS. I promised Grace that I would dance with her for a slow song and then Zoom would have her for the rest of the night."

Not nervous at all, Tezz shrugged and got into Stanford's position.

"Once you play 'Deuces', I'm gunna tell Zen to dance with Agura."

Tezz smirked as Zoom hurried back to his friend. "Do it, do it. It'll be cute."

After all the excitement, Tezz started the song and listened closely for any skipping. This track always had problems, but it was really good for a dance.

Stanford had Grace, Zemerick had his unknown from before girlfriend, Anti-Vert had Anti-Agura (Of course), Kyburi managed to bribe Krytus into getting to dance with her. And it was kind of cute.

Agura was asked by various boys before Zen shrugged and gripped her hands and placed his hands on her waist.

She looked back to Vert. "THE NEXT ONE, I PROMISE!" She then mouthed: 'He's sooo cute!'

"Zen, you DO know that we can't go out. You're too young! By the time you're my age, I'll be like… in my late twenties!"

He shrugged. "Okay…" He sighed and snuggled in her chest. Due to his height, it was a little awkward to have him nuzzle up in her breasts, but she let him and held him close.

She peered over and smirked as Anti-Vert allowed his anti to dance with Anti-Agura.

She had to admit, he looked cute when he burrowed his nose into her neck.

Zen got her attention by muttering the lyrics and gripping her back.

She looked at Spinner and Tezz, who were holding in giggles and giving cute looks. As a response, she stuck out her tongue and held Zen closer.

Zoom hurried out and whispered something to the little monk before scurrying off.

Zen laughed some and gazed up to her.

"Agura, when I was talking with Zoom earlier, we were talking about you. And I'm coming out clean on this one… I think you're hot."

A small blush spread across her cheeks. "O-Ohh! Uhh… Um. T-That's nice."

He pulled her down to his level and took her jaw.

The teammates on the sidelines' jaws dropped as they witnessed Zen press his lips to hers.

Zoom covered his mouth in shock while Tezz collected money from Sherman and Spinner with a smirk.

Agura rolled her eyes and pushed him away. "Zen!"

"We-ah-I…" He gave her a pleading look.

She sighed and facepalmed. "Zen, you're too young to love me."

"Please! Can I just have this moment?"

With a small smile she bent downwards some and kissed him back. He cheered on the inside and wrapped his arms around her neck, tilting his head sideways.

Once again, Zoom's jaw dropped and all the money levitated to Sherman, who bet that they would kiss twice.

Vert made his way back to his team, giving his Anti a little time with his girlfriend, and ignored Agura and Zen.

"Oh, how are you NOT PHASED BY THAT?" Spinner asked.

He shrugged. "I might as well let them have their fun. Just for tonight. Tomorrow, she's ALL MINE…"

"Awww! Zemerick and his girlfriend look so cute!" Sherman squealed.

The robots were holding on tightly to each other while the song ended.

Tezz decided to spice up the night by playing 'DJ got Us Falling in Love Again'.

Stanford maneuvered over to the booth and smiled. "You just love this song don't you?"

The Russian smirked and guided Grace over to Zoom.

Zen eyed Agura.

She glared back and smiled. "You wanna dance, don't you?"

He took her hand and took them over to the crowd of beings.

She had a good time with Kyburi, and Grace got to dance with Zoom and his Anti.

Spinner and Sherman mouthed Pitbull's part and started laughing.

Tezz and Stanford were taking over the booth.

Soon, they started 'Hey Baby' by Pitbull again, and 'Hotel Room'.

Zen and Agura were together and pressed up against each other 24/7. What they did was revolting… for trying to copy Kytren and Kyburi. **(A/N: XD)**

They made everyone whistle and scream while Kytren fooled around behind her. He had her hips while she giggled and rested her back on his chest.

Kytren nearly had another heart attack when they played 'Teach Me How to Dougie'.

He and Anti-Agura knew how already.

Vert turned to Tezz. "The odd thing is that I know how to dougie."

Tezz bit his lip and gave off a smile.

"YOU KNOW HOW TO TOO? !"

He smirked and walked out in the crowd. "You're really gunna do it?" Tezz asked.

"Only if you do it with me!" Vert replied and pulled Agura in the circle. "We're gunna do it, right. You know how right?"

Agura burst into laughter and nodded.

The three did it almost perfectly, getting lots of whistles. Vert laughed while Agura and Tezz went back-to-back.

Spinner walked up to Zoom. "Can you dougie?"

Zoom nodded and dragged his teammate out to the two.

They all were joined in by the Antis and laughed at themselves.

After that, everyone calmed down and migrated over to take a few seats.

Stanford played a few random tracks on auto-play and joined his team.

"Well?"

Tezz leaned over to Zen.

"BET. PARTY. EVER." The mini-Zoom said and sipped some Sprite. Someone suddenly tapped his shoulder. "Hey Zen, after this, you wanna go get a hotel room?" Agura smirked.

"Depends…" He whispered something a little naughty to her, making her nearly slap him. "WHAT DO YOU TEACH THIS BOY, ZOOM?"

* * *

**Man! Now I wanna write ZenxAgura! XD**

**This was based off of a school dance I went to on Friday night. X333**


	17. Free doesn't Mean, OH LOOK A MERMAN! 8D

Sherman and Spinner were panicking as they were blind folded. "MMMUUUUUPPHHHH!" Spinner screamed to the jolt of being uplifted.

"W-…Where's Vert and Tezz?" Agura asked, still able to see and talk.

"Locked away…" One of the Vandals said and roughly pushed her towards the assigned meeting point.

She witnessed the Cortezes get carried beside her. It was only them.

Still, Agura couldn't help but wonder at the least where her teammates were.

As much as it strained her muscles to struggle, she carried on.

It was a ten minute walk to their destination. They were pushed, forced, pulled, choked, everything.

They arrived near a sea.

She looked upon the black sea in the moonlight, aided only by a few lanterns. She watched as the beasts' leader snapped and brought out what they were hiding.

Sherman and Spinner were un-masked, gasping at what they saw.

The poor Canadian, frozen with fingers curved into claws, mouth open and eyes shut in fear.

"Dear God…" Sherman whispered.

"MONSTERS!" Spinner screamed and tugged on his chains.

Up next was Stanford. The Brit was nothing but what seemed a tiny ghost in a murky glass jar. He pounded on it with his little fists and cried out, resulting in a small squeak.

"Oh God…" Agura murmured as they then dragged Zoom out. The beast that was their teammate howled through the night and growled.

He swiped at the three unharmed teammates.

"Zoom! It's us! Don't you remember?" She asked.

Kalus snarled. "Bring forth the… HYBRIDS."

Sherman's eyes widened. "Hybrids? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY HYBRIDS?"

The lion snapped and turned heads to the sea. From down below, bubbles arose whil the tree were pushed to the dock.

She stared into the water and swore she could make out Vert's face. Golden hair, aqua eyes… maybe…

Sure enough, he gasped for air and clung to the wood at her feet. "A-… AGURA?"

"Vert? OH THANK GOD, YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"I'm glad YOU'RE alive!" He grabbed her and pulled her down to his lips. "I thought I lost you…"

She slowly leaned forward until she heard a small flipping.

Peering over his shoulder, she gasped at the lower-half of his body.

"Vert! You're a… a mer-merma…"

"Mermaid… or a Merman." The blond let out a high-pitched call into the night.

Suddenly, there was another flipping in the distance. They all stopped to look out as a being arose. Black hair, brown eyes, tan, skinny-oh… no…

"Tezz?"

"The one and only…" He smiled and leaned on his arms as they talked.

Sherman slowly made his way to them. "Amazing…"

Spinner chuckled and got away from Zoom's nose. If he was getting sniffed, then that nose was attached to a nice shiny row of razor teeth.

"How…"

"We don't know…" Vert replied as he coughed and flipped under for a second.

Tezz did the same and popped back up. "Mermaids or Mermen can only survive for so long on land…"

She turned to Kalus and his crew. "Get me out of here… NOW!"

"Ohh… going so soon?" The Russian asked as he traced a circle on her ankle.

Agura pulled away, but was grabbed forcefully. "DO NOT LEAVE US, AGURA." He blinked, his eyes forming into neon yellow slits. Menacing.

She panted as she moved back, her heart racing. Would he drag her under or come on land?

"STAY HERE WITH US AND BECOME… ONE OF US…" Vert said blankly as he flipped his lower-half for effect.

She edged away. "No… NO PLEASE!"

Tezz hissed and pulled her out and into the water.

"SHERMAN!"

The Cortezes were held back from saving her while they all witnessed her go down.

The two hybrids pushed her lower and lower under water as she struggled. Tezz barred his fangs and threatened to bite. She stopped and gazed up at Vert. He also had cat-like yellow eyes and fangs.

As they got deeper, Agura could no longer breathe. She laid lifeless as the two took her to the sandy bottom.

Vert put her down and gazed upon her.

Tezz lowered himself and slowly carved his fangs into her arm, injecting his unknown venom.

Her eyes suddenly jolted open as she took in water.

Vert kissed her wound gently and placed her weak body in his arms. "Soon, angel… very soon…"

She tiredly put a hand on his shoulder and kissed him back, lovingly.

The two moved to the lips before returning to the surface. Tezz hurried up.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sherman and his brother were waiting for any sign before more bubbles emerged. Tezz dragged himself up to shore and tried his best to convert.

His blue-purple fin was replaced by his regular legs as he moved to the Cortezes.

Hatch and Sever held the two as he growled and took Spinner by the shoulders. He gasped and cried out when bit.

Sherman whimpered as he witnessed his brother faint into the sand like a ragdoll.

He was penetrated after his big bro and fell the same way.

Tezz got a pat by Sever as he coughed and started gasping for nothing. He ran back to the ocean and dipped his torso in before he was joined rather quickly by Sherman and Spinner.

Vert and Agura were waiting, Agura now with gills at the base of her neck.

"Nice of you to join us…" Vert said as Spinner maneuvered to his side.

They all immediately flipped into the water and traveled downward.

"And there they go…" Sever said. "Shall I go capture the tall dark one?"

"No…" Kalus replied. "Let them go… Leave them to be captured by their own. I know they have planned an escape. For now, take the icy one and melt his head only. I need to speak with him."

Zoom growled as he was pushed away and back into a metallic cage.

A.J. stood there, lifeless, as many Vandals desperately tried to unfreeze him before dawn.

* * *

Agura swam back around Sherman. "You got Sage and the others ready?"

He nodded. "I only wish your hair was longer…" He noted her chest, making her blush.

"How much do you know about Mermaids and Mermen?"

The Cortez shrugged. "I know how to tell genders. Look at Vert. He doesn't have those rigged ends like on your fin, thing. The ends are smooth. But on a female's, there are bits that look like cloth or silk. It's confusing, but you can tell if they have long hair and long hair means covering up… those…" He said and kept everyone back from their captors/teammates.

They stayed close to the air at night, constantly coming up for a little fresh air.

"It's at this point." She said and slowed down some.

Vert did the same and looked back. "Tezz, you go on for traps and nets."

The Russian swiftly turned and carried on.

"What's wrong?" He said softly, taking her hands.

"Oh I-I'm just… a little… afraid to go so far…"

The blond pulled her into another embrace. "Aww… Don't be scared! I'm here, and whenever I'm here, I'll give my life to protect you."

There was a sudden high-pitched whine and cry in the distance. She now knew it was a call of distress.

"What was that?" Spinner asked, looking around for anything.

"TEZZ!" Vert cried and jetted forwards, leaving the three behind.

"I think it might have worked…" Sherman said as he and his brother started after their leader.

Agura caught her breath and went after them. She was a little excited to see Tezz, curled up in a net, getting dragged from his beloved water.

He barred his fangs and hissed as a few Blues went a little into the water to pull him up.

Now that he had a fin instead of frail legs, he weighed nearly around 200 pounds.

Vert desperately tried to pull on the ropes, cut them, get to the shore, but nothing helped.

Tezz shrieked as he was finally dragged onto shore and put into a water tank. A tight lid was placed on top.

Vert turned to the three. "HELP HIM! THEY'RE GOING TO KILL HIM!"

She looked away somewhat of guilt for the idea.

Tezz was soon carried off by Sage and her crew trashing and pounding on the inch-thick glass.

"This is for your own good…" The Blue said as she made her way into the forest on their journey back to the real world.

* * *

Hours had passed when Tezz opened his normal eyes to direct sunlight. He was surrounded by Sage's crew and a few were already on guard. One was a woman.

He gently tapped on the glass, getting her as she walked by. The Blue slowly made her way towards him.

"Air…" He mouthed and pointed to the lid.

She bit her lip and went back to Sage. "Shall I open the lid?"

"No. He'll escape. We cannot let that happen."

"But Sage, He's DYING. If we can't get him back home to convert him in time, he's gone."

She glared at the merman struggling in the shallow water, his heavy breaths cloudy against the surface. With watery eyes, he gazed at Sage, pleading.

"No."

"But-!"

"C'mon Lana, you heard her. Just give up on him. He'll cause us too much trouble." Said a Blue male, at least a foot taller than her.

"WHAT DO WE DO IF HE DIES? Go back and hunt for Vert? YOU KNOW HOW HE IS AND I WILL NOT STAND BY AND WATCH YOU PEOPLE WASTE A LIFE!" She grabbed a knife and cut the lock off, hauling the top over as Tezz took in massive deep breaths.

"I told you…"

He coughed some and laid back in the water. Lana put her finger. "The water's hot. He needs to cool off. Let me take him to the pools."

"…Very well…" She replied, knowing that the only water in distance to the pools were about a mile away.

Lana carefully got Sol and the tall Blue along with one other to help her carry him a few meters down, where they dumped him in crystal clear blue waters. His hands were tied to a hundred pound rock while he bathed.

Tezz held his face under for a few seconds and came back up, sighing heavenly. He opened his eyes and let his lower-half stretch out from all the cramped up space earlier. She smiled as he leaned hi head off on his shoulder and got comfortable. "Who are you?" He whispered dreamily, almost in a moan.

He looked at his fish-like body, and gulped. "I am Lana, one of Sage's warriors. You are?"

"Tezz. One of Sage's other warriors. But only on land. I'm just confused as to how I got this way…"

She got on her knees and took off her boots, "Well..." And fearlessly jumped in the water. "you were either bitten by a mermaid like Vert, or you have no knowledge to your past as fully being one."

"Yeah, I was bitten…" He rotated over on his side.

"You have, wonderful brown eyes…" She said lowly, trying not to let the others hear her.

"And you have a gorgeous body. Not too skinny… I think I'll like you being my captor…"

She blushed lightly and giggled. "I think I'll like you being my slave…"

He leaned in somewhat and maneuvered his tail to wrap around her, pulling her close. She was a little afraid that he would bite as he moved his jaws to her neck, but felt no pain.

"Everyone thinks that mermaids are out for blood. But MerMEN-" He nuzzled into her collar and wrapped his arms around her torso. "are all about romance."

"Oh, I can see that…" She whispered and glided a hand up his hips, feeling the smooth scales and cold skin. Despite the fact that he was actually fully naked, it was a little frightening being held by a mermaid.

But she burrowed her nose into his chest and put an arm around his neck.

"I'm sure you would love to become a mermaid…" He whispered.

She pulled away some, still tangled in his tail. "Uhh…"

"No, no, no! I understand…" He slowly released her and looked at the ropes. "Can I have these off?"

She took out her knife and sliced them. He freely twisted around more to stretch and rolled on his stomach in the water.

"This is so nice of you all to let me free for a while…"

Lana nodded, still having a little feeling for him. "Yeah, uh… no problem…"

He happily curled up and laid out in the fresh water.

* * *

**ONLY BECAUSE POTC 4 WAS EPIIIIC! X333**


	18. Rememberance

**For Kaelyn Quinn.**

**My best friend, 'mother', protector, and the girl that always said to my 'boyfriend', 'I'LL BUST A CAP IN UR ASS IF YOU HURT HER!'**

**;) I hope she has a great Summer and a nice time at a different school.**

**~Caroline (BTW, She's Canadian too… OH THE IRONY!)**

* * *

"VERT! Vert, Vert, Vert! Come here!" A girl with light blonde hair said as she ran as best she could in heels and embraced her friend. "Ah! I can't believe we're seniors!"

"I know, right? I need to talk to you later." He greatly accepted her number and walked on to visit his other guy friends.

A.J. nudged him in the ribs. "So? I saw that little piece of paper with her number on it~!" He sang.

Vert shook his head. "Only friends… I've known her since Elementary school and she's moving across the state, so we won't get to see each other much anymore." He side-hugged his friend Murphy (From Shorts 1. The baseball friend.) and moved on to the large crowd of gowned students. "Still, it's sad to leave!"

As they gave and received many hugs and kisses, A.J. sighed. "Vert. There's somethin' I gotta tell you." He pulled the dirty-blond to the side and gazed into his eyes. "Look. This may be hard to hear but…" He swallowed the lump in his throat and sighed. "I-'m moving and won't be anywhere near your college. I have to go back to Canada because my mom and dad are getting divorced, and my dad is getting re-married."

Vert choked on the tears as he bit his lip and looked off to the side. He thought they would be in the same wing, the same dorm, have all of the same classes… even get to eat together in college. "Uhh… o-okay… That's a little, um… disappointing…"

"Yeah…" He embraced his friend hardly and smiled some. "but I'll came to some of your games! Eh? And I'll always be free for snowboarding… You can call me whenever…" He walked down to grab a seat as the principal stepped up to the podium.

Over the small words, he couldn't get over the stinging pain it felt to lose his friend. All he could do was stare into his lap and wait for his name to be called. When he was given his diploma, he couldn't feel any happiness, and had to force a smile for his parents and other family members. He walked off stage and waited for A.J.

After that, come the small speeches. Vert knew that he was one of the higher-leveled achievers and had to say something, but he could barely let his throat make out a whimper.

"And now, I would like to give it over to the highest average student in all academics and electives, the student that has played in over three sports since he's stepped foot into this school, and has a college scholarship in baseball, VERT WHEELER!" He sniffled as he was applauded to the stage and took the mic.

He sighed heavily and looked at his friends and classmates. All he had to do was give a little pep-talk… That's all…

'_C'mon Vert, you can do this.'_

"Ya' know, I never really thought I would be up here when I was a freshman." Ah, nice start. "But looking at us all now in our caps and gowns with family from out of county, state, country… A.J., you're mom's here from Canada, which isn't so far, but I just wanna take the time to recognize Mr. and Mrs. Zhu, all the way from CHINA. That's pretty big in my opinion." On cue, the students all applauded and whistled, Vert's classmate, Charles, blushing a little.

"But as we get ready and pack for college, there's always that little hint of freedom that leaves you wanting more and more. We'll have to be on our own, and that's where our knowledge and education kicks in. We have to learn, that life isn't about taking short-cuts and cheating, but it's about hard work, determination, and devoting yourself to really getting to know the outside world. And to me, school was a great place to learn about that…" He eyed A.J. and smiled.

"Sometimes, you may be with someone you hate for the rest of your life, and other times…" His eyes started to water some as a lump formed in his throat. "Umm… y-you have to let go of someone-… someone you really care about…"

A.J. smiled and wiped his own eyes.

Vert sniffled and sighed, trying not to get emotional in front of his peers. "But that's life. Sure, it has it's ups and downs, but the important thing is to always remember to keep what's right in mind. As we go into our further studies, I want everyone to take a moment, whether it's outside, in the dorms, or with friends, and know that you're more than half-way to the rest of your life. After college, we're free to do whatever we want. But it's your decision on where you go." With that he gave the mic back to the principal as the crowd cheered at the unprepared speech as Vert sat back down with A.J.

"That was great." The Canadian complimented and smiled. "I saw you getting' a little teary-eyed when you were talkin' about me."

"Yeah… Yeah I did…"

Within just about five minutes, everyone did the traditional hat toss and made their way to family.

A.J. smiled. "Guess this is goodbye, eh?"

Vert let a tear drop as he wrapped his arms around A.J. and sniffled. "Not by a long shot. I'm not letting you go yet."

A.J. smiled and laughed. "I'm really gunna miss you, man."

Vert wiped his eyes with his sleeves and let out a deep breath. "I will too. But remember, keep my board nice and clean when I come home…"

As the Canadian walked out the doors of the crowded and loud gym, he looked back and called out. "VERT!"

Vert turned back and witnessed A.J. smile and yell, "COLLEGE BABY!"

He giggled to himself and walked on with his parents and grandparents. "Oh A.J.…"


	19. I Need a Doctor

**I ****told you all…**

**THIS.**

**ISN'T.**

**OVER.**

**Random sad AguraxSherman**

* * *

Agura shut her eyes as she tried her best to dream. She couldn't. Not with Sherman gone. Spinner was already distraught, and everyone else was terribly upset. She turned on her side and smelled the pillow where he used to lay. It was a mix of lavender and the good kind of Old Spice, her favorite. This was all she had of him. A tear escaped her cheek. The past was nothing but pain.

Her chest caved in as he sniffled and gasped for air. Honestly she wanted to just stop breathing to be with him.

**I'm about to lose my mind  
you've been gone for so long  
I'm running out of time  
I need a doctor  
call me a doctor  
I need a doctor, doctor  
to bring me back to life**

_Sherman turned over on his side to face Agura. She smiled heavenly and sighed. "Can't sleep?" He shook his head and reached out to gently pull her over and kiss her neck. "I love you." He muttered and sighed._

_Agura giggled and kissed him back on the cheek. "I know Sherm. I love you too. Now go to sleep."_

_His hand wrapped over her waist as he nuzzled into her shoulder. "I suppose…"_

_She pecked him on the forehead and shut her eyes._

**I told the world one day I would pay it back  
say it on tape, and lay it, record it  
so that one day I could play it back  
but I don't even know if I believe it when I'm saying that  
doubt starting to creep in, everyday it's just so grey and black  
Hope - I just need a ray of that  
'Cause no one sees my vision when I play it for 'em  
They just say it's wack  
they don't know what dope is  
and I don't know if I was awake or asleep  
when I wrote this,  
all I know is you came to me when I was at my lowest!**

"_Sherman?" Agura asked as she walked through the Hub's hallways. A voice crackled as a yelp echoed into the garage._

_Agura's footsteps clanked on the heavy floors and there was a slight sliding as her feet dragged. Sherman was nowhere to be found. Neither was Vert or the others._

"_Sherman?" She called once more. "Are you okay?"_

_The Cortez coughed and whimpered._

**You picked me up, breathed new life in me  
I owe my life to you  
but for the life of me, I don't see why you don't see like I do  
but it just dawned on me you lost a son  
demons fighting you, it's dark.  
let me turn on the lights and brighten me and enlighten you  
I don't think you realize what you mean to me  
not the slightest clue  
'Cause me and you were like a crew  
I was like your sidekick  
you gon either wanna fight me when I get off this f*cking mic  
or you gon hug me  
But I'm out of options, there's nothing else I can do 'cause-**

_Agura screamed as an arm gripped her neck, holding her in place._

"_AGURA!" Sherman screamed, fighting Anti-Sherman and Anti-A.J.'s grip on his neck and shoulders._

She gasped and glared into the Anti leader's eyes.

"_Take me instead! Don't hurt him!"_

"_Agura, no! AGKH!" The Cortez gagged as he was gripped tighter._

**I'm about to lose my mind  
you've been gone for so long  
I'm running out of time  
I need a doctor  
call me a doctor  
I need a doctor, doctor  
to bring me back to life  
**  
_Sherman was nearly breathless as a blade was pressed against his neck._

"_No…" She murmured. "STOP! PLEASE!"_

_Sherman let out another choppy breath and coughed. "Agura…"_

_There was a glint of tears in his eyes while the Antis let out devious cackles and grins, chanting for Vert to do it._

"_Agura, why would you care about him? It's just another guy! Tell us, why?"_

_She narrowed her eyes and gazed to him._

"_Go on… tell us…"_

**It hurts when I see you struggle  
you come to me with ideas  
You say they're just pieces so I'm puzzled  
'Cause the sh*t I hear is crazy  
But you're either getting lazy or you don't believe in you no more  
seems like your own opinion's not one you can form  
Can't make a decision you keep questioning yourself  
Second guessing and it's almost like you're begging for my help  
like I'm your leader  
your supposed to f*cking be my mentor  
I can endure no more,  
I demand you remember who you are  
it was you who believed in me  
when everyone was telling you don't sign me  
Everyone at the f*cking label, let's tell the truth  
you risked your career for me  
I know it as well as you  
nobody wanted to f*ck with the white boy  
Dre, I'm crying in this booth  
You saved my life, now maybe it's my turn to save yours  
but I can never repay you, what you did for me is way more  
but I ain't giving up faith and you ain't giving up on me  
Get up Dre! I'm dying! I need you! Come back for f*ck's sake 'cause-!**

"_Do you LOVE him?"_

_She growled and sniffed. "So?"_

_His eyes widened. "Oh! So you two are a couple! Good! This'll be even more exciting as you both scream…"_

**I'm about to lose my mind  
you've been gone for so long**  
**I'm running out of time  
I need a doctor  
call me a doctor  
I need a doctor, doctor  
to bring me back to life  
bring me back to life  
bring me back to life**

**(I need a doctor, doctor**  
**to bring me back to life)**  
_  
__Sherman whimpered as the knife was pushed to his neck again._

"_NO!" Agura cried, some tears starting to form and reluctantly push through._

"_Agura, I need to let you know that I love you!" Sherman finally admitted._

_She smiled weakly. "Sherm…"_

**It literally feels like a lifetime ago  
but I still remember the sh*t like it was just yesterday though  
you walked in, yellow jump suit  
whole room, cracked jokes  
once you got inside the booth, told you, like smoke  
went through friends, some of them I put on  
but they just left, they said they was riding to the death  
But where the f*ck are they now?  
Now that I need them, I don't see none of them  
all I see is Slim  
f*ck all you fair-weather friends  
all I need is him  
f*cking backstabbers  
when the chips were down you just laughed at us  
Now you 'bout to feel the f*cking wrath of Aftermath, faggots  
you gon see us in our lab jackets and ask us where the f*ck we been?  
You can kiss my indecisive *ss crack, maggots, and the cracker's *ss  
Little Cracker Jack, beat-making wack-*ss backwards producers  
I'm back, bastards  
one more CD and then I'm packing up my bags and as I'm leaving  
I'll guarantee they scream, Dre don't leave us like that man 'cause-**

_Half of the Antis were next to the door, ready to get it over with and flee._

_Anti-Vert took in a deep breath and slit Sherman's throat while Anti-A.J. and his own Anti released him. Agura was released soon and slumped to the floor as they all made their escape._

_She gasped and made her way to him while coughing and gasping. "Sherman…?" She said steadily and held back the tears. He could still be alive… yeah! Vert could have missed and just gotten the side! She turned him over and examined his still chest. His pulse was incredibly slow, and then just stopped._

_She nuzzled into his chest and sobbed as she held his cold dead hands._

"_Why…?" She cried and gently kissed his lips. "Sherm, I love you… I always will no matter what…" With that, she headed out the door to search desperately for her teammates._

_How could this have happened? How could the Antis break in and murder a man and get out unnoticed by six others?_

_HOW?_

**I'm about to lose my mind  
you've been gone for so long  
I'm running out of time  
I need a doctor  
call me a doctor  
I need a doctor, doctor  
to bring me back to life…**


	20. BUNDLE 1

** 'Old Spice Overload' **

Agura was all dressed and ready for the day, and hopefully, she wouldn't witness any more teammates naked in the locker rooms again. She braced herself and carefully stepped into the boy infested room.

She tried to keep her eyes off of Sherman and Stanford in the shower, and A.J., who was getting dressed. Agura was relieved to see Vert and Zoom still in their towels, whipping each other with spare ones. "Hey Vert, Sage needs you RIGHT NOW…"

The blond stopped and put down the cloth. "Why? Is she okay?"

Agura averted her eyes as the two got on their boxers.

"I don't know. She didn't look too good in the eyes. I think with the whole Sol issue, she's been lonely." She turned to Tezz's hand on her shoulder. "You KNOW you aren't allowed in here!"

"Oh hush. I'm a girl in a group of seven guys, I'll go wherever the heck I want! Now get your thighty-whities on and leave me alone."

"FYI, I WEAR BOXERS…" The Russian ranted and continued over to the sopping Sherman who was putting his towel on.

Agura kept her head down as she exited. But, something caught her attention. She turned and ran back to Vert. Immediately, she took a whiff of his neck and purred. "Vert! You smell good!"

"Uhh… thanks?" He raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

Less than two minutes later, Agura was rushing out of the room in disgust.

Sage was staring at her with as much concern in her droopy eyes as she could get. "What happened?"

"OLD SPICE… OVERLOAD… This is why I hate boys sometimes… Old spice, Axe, and other stuff."

Sage giggled. "YOU THINK SENTIENT MALES IGNORE SCENTS ALSO?"

Agura giggled.

* * *

**'Sherman Dances!'**

"I'm loose  
And everybody knows I get off the train  
Baby it's the truth…" He smirked and leaned forwards towards her some.

"I'm like inception I play with your brain  
So I don't sleep or snooze  
I don't play no games so don't get it confused, no  
Cause you will lose, yeah  
Now pump it up  
And back it up like a Tonka truck… DALE!"

She sauntered past him and swayed her hips as he wrapped his hands and started caressing her. She immediately snapped on the beat to keep tempo, warning him.

"If you go hard, you gotta get on the floor  
If you're a party freak, then step on the floor…"

They separated and pivoted one leg around and nearly accidently tripped each other. "KEEP GOING!" She demanded as they broke down into more various moves and slides. He actually slid downwards and maneuvered back to her.

"If you're an animal, then tear up the floor  
Break a sweat on the floor  
Yeah we rock on the floor.  
Don't stop keep it moving put your drinks up!"

Like time slowed, he leaned back slowly and smoothly as she calmly walked beside him and joined in synchronized traditional moves.

"Pick your body up and drop it on the floor  
Let the rhythm change your world on the floor  
You know we're running sh- tonight on the floor-"

He grasped her hands as they sung to each other.

"Brazil, Morocco, London to Ibiza!  
Straight to L.A., New York,  
Vegas to Africa!"

They slowly got into position while she swayed her hips some and couldn't help but smile.

"Dance the night away  
Live your life and stay young on the floor…"

She wrapped her arm around his waist as they passed each other. He slyly traced his index finger over her collar and joined in.

"Dance the night away  
Grab somebody, drink a little more…"

She grasped his hand while they unraveled and spun back to each other.

"Laaa la la la la la la la la la la la la la  
Tonight we gon' be it on the floor!"

They suddenly both broke into hardcore flipping. She was spin on her heels because of how he was tugging on one arm, and then moving to the other.

"Laaa la la la la la la la la la la la la la  
Tonight we gon' be it on the floor!"

They ended the one part with a small slide, spreading their arms and turning quickly on the last beat.

"Alright, that's enough. We need to work on that one bit with the stroke. How confident are you in that?" She asked.

He shrugged and took his water bottle. "I'm okay with it. What about you?"

She smirked and leaned inwards, planting a kiss on his neck, compared to his height.

"WELL, WELL, WELL!" A voice echoed in the large dance room. He turned sharply and gasped silently. "What?"

"SHERMAN CORTEZ! HOW DID YOU LEARN HOW TO FLIP A GIRL OVER AND TWIST HER?" Agura and Vert entered, smirking.

The Cortez and his partner, the gorgeous Maggie Salazar. She flipped her jet black hair and faced the two. "It's for a traditional Spanish dance contest. We embrace our heritage, and decided to compete. What do you think?"

"It was really good!" Agura commented and smirked.

Sherman blushed. "Just… don't tell the others?"

"Alright… thought it would be kind of cool!"

* * *

**'Kytren is Krytus and Kyburi's Child...'**

"Ohhh! I get it!" Agura whispered as she crept down the Red's Palace hallway. Krytus was with Kyburi in the living area while Kyrosys was in the kitchen. Krylox was reading something, and Kytren was nowhere in sight.

"So Krytus is the dad, Kyburi is the mom, Krylox is the son, Kyrosys is the grandpa, and Kytren is like Zoom so he's the baby!"

"Hey!" Zoom whimpered and peered into Kytren's bedroom. "Aww! Wook at da wittle baby!"

They all joined him and 'awww'ed in response at Kytren cuddling close with a small sky blue blanket. He was curled into a ball gently and shivering.

"He looks so cold!" Stanford noticed.

Agura took in a breath and slowly made her way into the bedroom, getting various signals not to. But she kept on, grabbing the blankets that were at his feet. She slowly and cautiously brought them back up to his shoulders and kissed his forehead.

The Red's eyes snapped open as he turned and yawned, his fangs showing clearly in the darkness.

"Night 'buri…" He commented and held out his arms.

She quickly embraced the Scout and kissed him again. "Goodnight Kytren." As she slipped away, she got stares from the whole gang.

"It's a girl thing…" She replied smoothly.

* * *

**'NO DIB...'**

"Guys are weird." Sage said as she sat next to Agura in the infirmary area.

They could see the remainder of the team from there, and Vert was discussing things with Zoom.

Tezz and Sherman were talking and fixing a small contraption that had blown a few fuses a while back, Stanford was talking to his brother on the phone, and Spinner and A.J. were building a house of cards.

"No duh. They're weird with emotions, shy, different, and just… ugh!"

"I know. I was talking with Sol and I mentioned one thing and he went off at me about how guys have things hard too. PFT. Say that to me when I'm in my reproductive state. Heh!"

Agura smirked and glared at the dirty-blond across the room and sighed. "But they're so cute."

Sage turned, taking in a deep breath. "I wish Sentient males had exterior reproductive parts like humans."

The huntress turned in shock, partially because Vert was looking back over to her. "They don't?"

"No! They have the same structure as females, but different parts. I-It's complicated."

"No duh…"

* * *

**'TEZZ READS PR0N!'**

"So in one of my books that I was reading, there are these two 'friends' around our age that are really good together." Tezz started as he and the guys were out in the diner. Sherman was eased in, intrigued more than his brother was. Zoom had that look like, 'Eh, whatever…' as he sipped his sprite.

"Anyways, so at night, he reveals that he's a vampire, and so he sneaks into her room. So ya' know, they get to talking, and then like… she starts…" He tightened his fingers into a fist and shook it to symbolize… something…

Zoom burst into laughter at seeing the emotionless scientist do something so devious.

Still giggling, Tezz coughed and continued. "So right when, he's about to… uhh… yeah," He took in a deep breath. "I stopped there. It was gross."

"TEZZ!" Vert smirked. "You're so smart, you don't have to jack-off to pictures, YOU READ."

The Russian blushed. "Oh, shut up! Sherman does it too!"

The Cortez spat out his water and turned to slap Tezz's arm. "DO NOT!"

Zoom bit his lip. "Anyways, back to the disgusting book contest… I once read one random book where this guy drinks a whole bottle of ranch dressing… I tried it, and barely swallowed, but I did."

"That's not the only thing he swallows…" Stanford whispered to Vert, making the blond keep in a laugh.

The Thai looked up. "What?"

"He said, that's not the only thing you swallow." Vert replied.

Stanford whimpered as he could tell what was coming. Either a kick to his privates, or pranks for the next week. He sunk down low into his chair.

"Stanford, we already know that you deep-throat Tezz, so there's no point in saying that…"

Tezz gave off a wry smile and laughed like he was letting out a breath.

The rest burst into giggles while Stanford blushed madly. "HEY, HE'S NICE AND DOESN'T FORCE ME." He turned to Vert, making everyone laugh again.

* * *

**'Arrow to the Butt! 20 POINTS!'**

While half of the team was laughing, Sherman was holding in tears and Vert and Agura were trying to calm him. "Sherman, just calm down…"

"HOW CAN I CALM DOWN? THIS REALLY HURTS!" He whimpered.

Vert cocked his head and sighed. "We'll have to pull it out…"

"NO!" He whimpered and pushed away from the two. "Just have Sage put me in a temporary coma! Then pull it out!"

"Well what are you gunna do to get back home? Stand up the whole way?" Agura folded her arms and motioned for Sherman to place his palms on the hood of the Saber. "Now, it'll be quick and painful, but only for a few seconds. Hold still." Vert added and started towards the Cortez.

He refused and turned. "A.J.! Stop laughing and help me grab him!"

The Canadian wiped a tear from his eye and trotted over to hold Sherman's arms down.

Agura fidgeted and snatched the arrow and roughly pulled it out in a split second, making Sherman bite his lip and give out a long groan.

Spinner and Zoom were teary-eyed as they saw his reaction.

Sherman let out a deep breath and snapped the arrow in half. "NO MORE VANDALS… PLEASE!"

**(Sherman had an arrow stuck in his butt, FYI Xp)**

* * *

**'"The Pie here, IS TO DIE FOR! Hehehehehee!"'**

A.J. and Tezz laid their foreheads on the diner's table and moaned.

"Sooo goooood…" A.J. whispered.

"Can I have (hic) more?" Tezz pleaded with watery eyes.

Grace giggled and brought out the rest of the chocolate pie in the fridge.

As she set it on the table, A.J. and Tezz lazily leaned their heads on their palms and ate slowly. "Ugggggggghhhnnnn…" Tezz groaned and set his fork down after one bite.

Vert chuckled. "You need the trash can?"

The Russian nodded. "I've only had pie and cake this good at my _Babushka's_ house when I was a child…"

"Awww…" Stanford said pathetically as he was occupied with his phone. Angry Birds was his new obsession.

A.J. continued eating. "Yeah, you remember that one Winter when you stayed with us, and we stayed up all night and threw up because we both ate two tubs of vanilla icing? Oh! That's how I feel…"

"I told you Zeke's pie is the best…"

"Not THE best…" Tezz interrupted and had a dry heave.

Zoom looked away and ran to the bathroom. He couldn't stand to watch someone puke. It was a good thing they were the only ones in the diner that day.

"Uhhhh… I think I'm gunna be sick…" Sherman covered his eyes.

"Tezz heaves very easily. Like the time you stopped the Splitwire from crashing by making in sling around that rock like a rollercoaster. HEH-HA!" Spinner snorted.

Tezz pulled away and sighed before feeling his mouth and eyes start to water. He coughed a little, and spat, but was fine. "I've never eaten that much…"

"GOOD! YOU'RE A TOOTHPICK WITH A MASSIVE BRAIN. Be like Sherman! He played football!" Agura suggested and giggled. "I only pitch baseball, and MMA stuff, I can't play football. I have the throwing abilities of only a baseball player, and I hate holding a football. END OF STORY."

* * *

**'"You can have your eye-snot back..."'**

A.J. and Vert were playing tennis. Oh no, not regular tennis, hand tennis. Vert and A.J. froze their hands so it looked like they were shaking them. Vert slapped A.J.'s hand as hard as he could while A.J. took turns and did the same. Meanwhile, Sherman and Tezz were to their right, working on a delicate machine.

The Russian exhaled and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "My God, this is too difficult right now, Sherman…"

A.J. cried in pain and laughed as he slapped Vert.

"Yeah, well… let's see if we can finish it." Sherman handed him a screwdriver and sighed.

There was a sudden cry of pain and a yelp.

"Oh God! A.J.!" Vert yelled and knelt next to Tezz. "Lemme see."

"Am I bleeding?" He fluttered his left eye open to make Vert gasp. "Uhh… yeah… SAGE!"

The Blue rushed down and gasped as Tezz showed her his eye.

"What happened?"

"Uhh… Vert and I were playing tennis and I accidently slapped him."

Tezz groaned as he blinked. "WHEN I GET HEALED AND CAN SEE AGIAN, I SWEAR I WILL RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES AND STRANGLE YOU WITH THEM, A.J.!" The Russian hissed and was carried off by Sherman.

A.J. puckered his lips and twitched. "You think he's mad?"

"Uh, YEAH."


	21. Warning! Lots of cheating in a meme!

Name 12 of your favorite characters:

(BF5 Durp :3)  
1. Zen  
2. Tezz  
3. A.J.  
4. Vert  
5. Sherman  
6. Stanford  
7. Spinner  
8. Sol  
9. Agura  
10. Sage  
11. Kytren  
12. Krytus

* * *

1. What would 12 and 1 be like in a relationship?  
ROMEO AND JULIET! XD JK That's… that's just wrong…

2. If 6 and 3 were to have an affair, who would top?  
Well, Stanford would get all offended and A.J. would be all curious and sorry over nothing sooo… A.J.

3. 2 and 10. Totally crack or totally canon?  
A MIX!

JK

Canon. They're both smart and Tezz likes to stay behind in the Hub with her… *Nudge nudge* -w-

4. Is 4 het or slash better?  
Slash, but het with Agura is nice… :3 Sooo cute.

5. Have you ever read fanfiction of 5 and 11?  
I-I… no…

6. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is after 8 and 9! (lame)  
Stanford: THAT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE MY SPINNER!

7. If 8 was to cosplay, what would they be?  
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… RUSSIA FROM HETALIA! X3

8. How many beers would 1 have to chug to have a go at 12?  
About, six. Then take two shots of vodka and be dead by the end of the night. That's it! He would commit suicide before Krytus would be able to kiss him!

9. Would 3 make a good couple with 6? Or a better couple with 2?  
TEZZxA.J…. Oh Gawd… They would bicker like an old married couple! X333

10. 6 and 7 have to go on a fishing trip together. Would they end up getting "distracted" halfway through?  
*Ponders* Yeeeeaaahhh…..STANFORD WOULD FOGET THE HAIR GEL AND BITCH FOR AN HOUR! XD JK.

11. Pick a Disney film to represent 10 and 2.  
('Awww!')  
Cinderella. Yup… Just think about it before saying no!

12. If 3 and 11 are doing s & m, who's the sadist?  
Kytren. -3-

Bwahahahahahaaa…

13. Pick a song to describe a 7/12 fic.  
'Candyland' by BOTDF… heh heh

14. Is there any evidence for 4/2?  
Tezz: I have sworn to protect you… but Vert is the superior warrior… When I have ignored his orders I have regretted it. Trust me, this is your best past home…

FLUUUUFFF! X3333

15. How hot would 7/3 be?  
OH F*#% YEA!

16. If 7 walked in on 2 and 8 performing, shall we say, "interesting" activities, what would their reaction be?  
Spinner: *Takes pictures and sends them to a few others…*

…

Vert: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING, WITH SAGE'S BROTHER?

Tezz: Uhhh… *Sinks down in his chair and whimpers*

…

Kytren: *Smacks Sol* WHAT I THIS? *Holds up picture*

Sol: I WAS GETTING MOLESTED BY A HUMAN!  
Kytren: LIAR! *Smacks him again*

17. What's 1's secret kink?  
His skills… :3

18. How about 6?  
His accent maybe… IT SHALL BREAK YOU AND TEAR AWAY AT YOUR SOUL…

19. Or perhaps 10?  
Those shock things… that she used on Anti-Kalus that on episode…

20. What title would you assign a 1/3/5 threesome?  
Zen/A.J./Sherman

(UKE: Zen

SEME: SHERMAN AND A.J.)

'How To Break a Muay Thai Warrior… no, not Zoom…'

21. How about 2/4/6?

Tezz/Vert/Stanford

(VERT: UKE

TEZZ AND STANFORD: SEME)  
'Accents can be Deceiving'

22. Or even 7/8/9?

Agura/Spinner/Sol

(UKE: AGURA

SEME: SOL AND SPINNER)  
Spinner/Sol/Agura

Hmmmm… 'What You Can Get Done in Ten Minutes…' |3

23. So. 1 (Zen) has a relationship with 6 (Stanford), but secretly wants 2 (Tezz). 6 (Stan) knows this, and breaks up with 1 (Zen) to go pursue 3 (A.J.) , who's with 11 (Kytren). 11 (Kytren) is with 10 (Sage) , however, who's cheating on 11 (Kytren) with 8 (Sol). 8 (Sol) finds out, and cheats with 7 (Spin), who is, in turn, cheating on 4 (Vert). 1 (Zen) pursues 2 (Tezz), who just broke up with 5 (Sherm), who's now after 9 (Agura). 1 (Zen) gives up on this, and ends up with 12 (Krytus), while 6 (Stan) finally ends up with 3 (A.J.).

…YES…

(Thinks it all out)

*Gasp* SHERMAN IS BI?

Poor Kytren. XP Sol's never gunna live this one down!

WHAT A CRAPPY ENDING! XDDD

24. Title a 6/7 western fic. Yes, western. As in, cowboys, desperados, and such.  
Uhhh… 'British Damsel in Distress'? F*CK THE RULES!

25. If 8/1 became canon, how would you react?  
Uhhhh… did that really just happen?

26. If 2 and 9 became a couple, who would top?  
Both… Hehehe…

27. What if it was 3 and 9?  
A.J.

28. 4 and 9?  
Vert

29. Do you know anyone who reads 9 slash?  
There is none… (Wait… FxF? No…)

30. Or 2 het?  
Haha! I made one! :3

31. Write me a little ficcy for 9/5.  
Awww!

…

Sherman gazed out into the ocean. He always loved coming here as a kid, but… ever since his parents got more and more busy with more and more kids, there was just no time… So, Agura decided to take him out to the small area on the sand. She hated the beach because of the sand, but iit was for him, so she didn't care…

As she laid the towel down and sat next to him, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Thanks for… ya' know…"

"For being with you?"

Suddenly, his lips gently brushed against hers passionately. He pulled away and nuzzled into her neck. "For being my girlfriend…"

...

32. Write a possible summary for a fanfiction involving 2/9/7.

'The team comes clean with all of their crushes in a truth or dare game, but will Tezz, Spinner, and Agura take all the dares too far?'

Kekekekekekekeke…

33. Quick. 3 and 7 are cosplaying. What as?  
Uhh, BATMAN AND ROBIN! WHOOT!

34. Have you ever seen Fanart of 11 and 12?  
I've seen fanart as in FanFICTION, but sadly, no… If anyone would like to make one…? Anyone? I'll fave it! XD

35. Who would be the most outraged because of the above questions?

Probably Agura, cuz she was used a lot. Srry Agura! XP


	22. QUOTES 3 IN CHAPTER 22!

Tezz: *Talking to his Russian friends*

Zoom: Hey Tezz!

Tezz: *Turns*

Zoom: I thought you would be mad by the way the meeting turned out!

Tezz: No, not at all! I'm just happy to watch you all talk stuff over! It's very nice to have everyone let me feel like one of the gang! Besides, I hide dark secret that no one will guess because of my sweet face!

Zoom: *Sighs* You were such a cute country when you were born, now you're all grown up-!

Tezz: AN EVIL SECRET. WHEN I LOOK INTO ALL OF YOUR STUPID FACES, I THINK OF HOW MUCH FUN IT WILL BE TO POUND THEM INTO DUST…

Zoom: I KNEW IT! Nnnn! *Whimpers and laughs*

Tezz: OH MAN! I LOVE THAT EPISODE!

Tezz's friends: XDDDD US TOO!

Zoom: XDDD…Ah-heh-heh… uhhh… *Runs*

Tezz: *Evil smile* POUND THEM INTO DUST…

* * *

Vert: If you're like the Russia in Hetalia, you'll be a little scared, TEZZ…

Tezz: *Whimpers*

* * *

Agura: OH! Y'ALL LOOK SOOO CUTE!

Zoom: *In Naruto cosplay*

Sherman, Spinner, Vert, Tezz, and A.J.: *In Hetalia cosplay*

Stanford: *Dressed as Edward from Fullmetal Alchemist*

Agura: X333

(I'M SRRY! I JUST WANTED THEM IN COSTUMES! X3)

* * *

Me: *Reads reviews for 'Untold Stories 2' HEHEHEE! I'M A SNEAKY BEAVER! :3

Dad: SHHH!

Me: -_-'

* * *

Zen: *Lays on his back and groans while Zoom holds him down* Please, just… Get it out!

Zoom: *Smirks* Hang on! I haven't had my fun yet! *Holds back a laugh*

Zen: Aghhhhh! ZOOM! P-PLEASE! *Leans head off to the side* I-I… I CAN'T…!

Master T: *Walks by and eavesdrops*

Zen: OhhhHHHH! IT BURNS! I'M BLEEDING!

Zoom: I know! NOW SHUT UP AND STOP MOVING! If you move, it'll just get deeper, and then YOU'LL have to get it out. NOW TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!

Zen: *Groans loudly* Go faster! Please! *Cries out in pain* Hurry!

Master T: *Covers eyes and bursts in the room* ZOOM! GET OUT OF ZEN!...*Uncovers eyes*

Zen: HEEEEEELP! It hurts! *Whines*

Zoom: *Using tweezers to get small cactus pricks out of Zen's stomach* What?

Master T: *Creeps out and blushes* Dear Jesus!

Zen: You know… *Panting* I really sound like I'm in a porno…

Zoom: How do you know what it sounds like?

Zen: O.O' Uhhh… just guessing?

Zoom: ZEN!

Zen: I'M CURIOUS! Now shut up…

Zoom: *Shakes head*

Zen:… How do YOU know what it sounds like?

Zoom:… Curious…

* * *

Vert: *Snuggles up against Anti-Vert* SO SOFT… :333

* * *

Spinner: OKAY AGURA! 20 bucks for 20 minutes!

Agura: WHA-?

All: XDD

* * *

Vert Sherman and Spinner Corte-

Zoom: SHERMAN CORN-CHIP AND SPINNER CORN-CHIP!

Tezz: BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! *Laughs for five minutes*

* * *

Sherman: A.J.! Shut the (pauses) up!

* * *

A.J.: BUT I LIKE THE COOKIE…

* * *

A.J.: *Kissing Agura*

Agura: *Starts taking off his shirt*

A.J.: *Takes off hers and nuzzles in her chest near her bra* Oohhh… I just wanna eat you…! *Bites her chest* Uhhh…

Agura: *Yelps and looks at the bite-marks* You just bit my boobie!

A.J.: And I want seconds…

Agura: *Runs to Vert's room* NYEEEEEHHH!

Vert: *Wakes up* Huh?

Agura: You won't bite me on my bewb, will you?

Vert: …Maybe… If you want me to…

* * *

Tezz: Hoa-kay… more money to say… *Looks at note card* Imma cut my penis off and have a Weezy baby… *Claps* YES! *Clap clap clap clap* YES!

* * *

Vert: Who are you?

A.J.: I'm Canada!

* * *

Stanford: I can rap! *Starts out with 2 verses*

All: *Dead cuz they laughed too hard*

* * *

Zoom: Blue baby! BLUE BABY! OH LIKE THE OCEAN! OH LIKE THE OCEAN! OH LIKE MY BALLS WHEN I DON'T HAVE SEX OR MASTURBATE FOR THREE HOURS, BLUE! OHH YEA!

* * *

Sherman: WTH are you doing?

Spinner: Packing my cigarettes!

Sherman: Oh, I thought you were beating off.

Spinner: Haha! I'M BEATING OFF AT A RED LIGHT EVERYBODY!

* * *

VERT AND ZOOM IN THE DRIVING TEST…

…

Vert: STOOOOOP!

…

Vert: YOU'RE GOING TO FAST! STOOOOP!

…

Vert: OH GOD! OH JESUS CHRIST LAWD ALMIGHTY, WE'RE GUNNA CRASH!

…

Vert: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!

…

Vert: *Praying*

…

Vert: Don't get hit, don't get hit, don'tgethit, DON'TGETHITDON'TGETHIT!

…

Vert: *Passed out*

Zoom: SKUUUUUURRR!

* * *

Sherman: Okay… I'll say it… *Reads card* My Dixie Rect….my dixierect… my… Dixie… rect… erect… my dick's er-ohhhh!

All: XDD

* * *

Vert: Uhhhhh… *Licks Agura* OH! YOU HAD MAKEUP ON! UGHHH!

* * *

Spinner: *Sleeping*

A.J.: *Crawls in bed with him*

Spinner: O.O' A.J.?

A.J.: A.J.'S NOT HERE ANYMORE…

* * *

Vert: *Grunts*

Zoom: *Groans*

A.J.: YAAAAAY! :3

* * *

Stanford: HAUHAUHAUHAU! (Like a dolphin)

Vert: WHAT WAS THAT? *Laughs*

Sherman: It was better cuz of his accent! XDD

* * *

Tezz: Become one with mother Russia, da?

A.J.: SURE!

Tezz: (Thinking) _What an idiot! HE HAS JUST SEALED HIS FATE IN THE WOODS TIED TO A TREE… WAHAHAAA!_

* * *

Stanford: I-I don't do BY MYSELF.

Agura: Then why do you have two hands?

Stanford: O0O

Agura: Wait… SURE YOU DO 'BY YOURSELF!'

* * *

Vert: *Groans*

Zen: Ughhh…

Anti-Stanford: *Sniffles*

Krylox: *Holds head in pain*

Rawkus: *Vomits*

Sage, Agura, Anti-Agura, and Kyburi: *Victory Dance to themselves* YEAH! We're girls! We're girls! OH YEA!

(Male virus)

* * *

All girls: *Groan* (Sick)

Anti-Vert: Can I get you something to drink?

Sol: Do you need anything?

A.J.: Oh! I WANNA FLUFF THE PILLOWS!

Krytus: Are you hungry? You want the lights off to nap?

Girls: *High-five*

(Female virus)

* * *

Vert: NATIONAL COUNTRY DAY! *Dressed in a red shirt, jeans, and black shoes* I'M WHITE, SO IT'S RED WHITE AND BLUE! X3

A.J.: *In Canadian Mountie Uniform* ? What the heck man?

Agura: *In African dress with pretty yellows and greens and reds* (I love those) OH KEWEL! :3

Sherman: *In sombrero and poncho* RACIST!

Spinner: SO? It's so frilly! :D

Zoom: *In Thai military uniform* Whaa? This is just like America's unifrom!

Stanford: *In English military uniform, the one with the black furry hat* I AM LOVIN THIS HAT Y'ALL…

Tezz: *In long winter coat with a gray scarf, boots, and white Ushanka* Uhhhh… It's like a hundred degrees!

Vert: WHO CARES! :D

RIP: TEZZ VOLITOV. DIED OF HEAT STROKE.

* * *

Tezz: *Leans on Agura's shoulder*

Agura: *Pets his bangs*

* * *

Sherman: JEW BOOOOIII!

Spinner: POST IT OUSIDE SPINNIN' YO' DRADEL! SIPPIN ON SUM GRAPE JUIIICE!

* * *

A.J.: No… NO, NO! PLEASE! AGHHH!

Anti-A.J.: *Kisses A.J.*

A.J.: AGHHHH!

Vert: *Breaks in* STOP!

A.J.: Thank God!

Vert: …IN THE NAME OF LOOOVE~!

A.J.: }8(

* * *

Vert: What's wrong with him?

Zoom: *In a dog house with his hands up like paws* Woof woof!

Stanford: I dunno. Let's just feed him and see what happens... *Holds bowl up to his head and placed a hand on his forehead*

Zoom: Woof Woof!

(Tries the food)

Zoom: DAAAAHHH! THIS FOOD TASTE TERRIBAAAAALL! I'VE NEVER EATEN ANYTHING SO INCREDIBLY BLAND OR DISGUSTING!

* * *

Agura: *Walks in the kitchen wearing Stanford's boxers as pants*

Stanford: Are those mine?

Agura: Yup! A little smaller than I had hoped in the waist-line, but eh… Comfy! Vert, I'm wearing yours tonight, then Spinner's, and Tezz's…

Stanford: *Blushes*

* * *

Vert: Well, would you rather get smothered by d*ck, or p*ssy?

Sherman: Ooohhhh… I GET IT! XD

* * *

Zoom and Zen with their Chinese friend: I'M CHINEE! *Dance on tables*

Zoom: In China, we probabry, gunna bomb Germany. Come on prease, somebody, how come we, cannot be?

Charles: (Chinese friend around Zoom's age) Rich, we ain't got sh*t. And we rive in a dirty ditch with some animals-

All: PASS THE F*CKIN' BUTTER PREASE!

Zen: I got soy sauce, now I need some dog meat.

Zoom: I can eat-

Charles: What I want!

Zoom: Don't make-

Zen: FUN OF ME! XD

Vert: *Sigh* I love Asians…

* * *

Charles: My eyes, rook like, I'm mad cuz someone stole my eggroll. Oh we already did that one? *Does his Chinese face* =^.^= PEACE! Except for you!

* * *

Tezz: Me, da? KOLKOLKOLKOLKOL…

* * *

Zen: VERT-KUN!

Vert: ZEN-SAN!

Both: *Hug*

A.J.: Tezz-san!

Tezz: A.J.! KAWAII! X333

* * *

Tezz: In Soviet Russia… BANANAS…

* * *

Agura: I LIKE MY BEATS FAST-

Sherman, Spinner, Tezz, A.J., Vert, and Zoom: AND MY BASS DOWN LOW! *Dance like in the video simultaneously*

Stanford: ^^'

* * *

(For a Hetalia Cosplay event/convention)

Vert: (In Prussian accent) HEY AUSTRIA! IT MUST SUCK BALLS TO HAVE SILICA BE TAKEN AWAY BY FORCE, HUH?

A.J.: AAAAAAAAHHHH~~! *Walks to Vert and starts slapping his forehead* Smack! Smack Smack! Smack Smack! Smack! Smack!

Zoom: YOU ARE AN *SS.

* * *

Agura: Dumbledora the Explora!

* * *

Stanford: Ughhhh… Am I Catholic, or Protestant? God I don't know!

Man: *Taps on Vert's shoulder* Excuse me, is he okay?

Vert: He always gets like this when he starts drinki-

Stanford: *Pops back up* YOU DO-KNOW ME! I'm the United bloody Kingdom and I cancharanlemyvochabe-erthanyouanyday!

Vert: -_-;

* * *

Spinner: GAAAHHH!

* * *

Zoom: IT'S BO TIME BE-YACH!

* * *

Agura: I don't get why I'm out here painting when I should be in the kitchen makin' sammaches.

* * *

Kyburi: I would love to see GermanyxRussia in 'Super Bass' by Niki Manaj! X333

Krytus:…WHO?

…

Kerstin and Tezz: *Singing the 'Super Bass' Chorus*

Tezz: *Kisses her*

Kerstin: X3

* * *

Stella and Zoom: *Glomping each other*

* * *

Director: Wouldn't that be cool if all Cartoon Network characters came out and danced together?

*On cue all characters come out and dance and sing*

Writers and Director: OoO;

* * *

Agura: DUMBLEDORA THE EXPLORA!

* * *

A.J.: I WUV YOU! =)

All: Awww!

A.J.: I'M ONLY HERE TO KILL YOU ALL, YA' KNOW…

All: O.O

* * *

Sage: In a murduring of Vert, I would most likely suspect…

Zoom: *Holding knife*

Stanford: *Holding chains and a rope*

Spinner: *Holding a bloody pole*

Sage:… RAWKUS!

Rawkus: *Runs*

* * *

Zoom: *Forces Zen down*

Zen: Agh! Zoom!

Zoom: *Puts it into him*

Zen: *Screams and thrashes at Zoom*

Zoom: *Growls and puts more weight on Zen*

Zen: *Groans* Ahhh! Zoom! *Speaks random Thai*

Zoom: *Speaks Thai back and purrs in his neck*

Zen: *Pants and grips Zoom's back* Zoooom… I-I… I don't… I'm gunna…

Zoom: I know… you look pale enough.

Zen:… *Winces and cries out again* Oohhhhh!

Zoom: *Smirks* Poor little Zen… So innocent…

Zen: *Screams and gasps* Why would you do thi-this? I-I thought, we were… f-f-friends!

Zoom: We are… I just wanted something else from you…

Zen: *Gasps and exhales dreamily while Zoom moves away from him*

Zoom: *Holds up bloody sword* I'm sorry my mini-me… But I just can't help myself sometimes…

Zen: *Winces and looks at his stomach*

Me: Holy crap… what did I just write? I HAD U ALL FOOLED AGAIN DIDN'T I? Well, I think I'll go do a sick 'Abused' or 'Love's Tale' Chap on this… Plz go check it out later! X3

* * *

Zoom: NOUUUUUUU! MY CUPPYCAKE!

* * *

Vert: And what should we have for desert?

Tezz: *Raises hand and says something in Russian*

Vert: Uhhh… no… Zoom?

Zoom: CUPCAKES!

All: YAAAY!

Vert: What is it with you and cupcakes?

Zoom: :D I dunno… :3

* * *

Tezz: *Looking at his laptop in the kitchen*

Germany: *Hangs up the phone after hearing what Italy and Romano were up to at night.* Romano's in bed? It won't come out? 'OW OW'? _TAKE IT OUT? !_

*Germany rushes over* ITALY, ARE YOU OKAY? ! *Gasps and sees Italy's hair tangled with Romano's*

Germany: IT WAS JUST _**HAIR?**_

Tezz: *Dying laughing*

Vert: I knew something was wrong with him… *Goes back to cooking*

* * *

Sage: *Going around naming what Christmas is like* God-less Russian Christmas… God-lesser Thai Christmas! Traditional Spanish Christmas. Boring regular British Christmas! Canadian Christmas, which is like every day of the year. FAT CHRISTMAS… I-I mean America.

Vert: O.O' I'm not fat!

Tezz: I LOVE JESUS!

Stanford: *Crying in the corner*

* * *

Vert: He declined, so I shot him in the face... MYSELF!

* * *

Agura: *Walks in with only some sweatpants and a bra*

Vert: YOU HAVE TIG OL' BITTIES…

Agura: *Smacks him* I LOVE THAT SONG, B*TCH!

* * *

Tezz: *Looks at Kerstin*

Kerstin: Owo

Tezz: xwX

* * *

A.J. and Tezz: *Watch and record their reaction to Brock's Dub of 'Friday'*

A.J.: fun, FUN, **FUN** _**FUN!**_

(Everybody's Russian!)

Tezz: :3

(Which seat, can, I, *Demonic voice* TAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?)

Tezz: *Falls out of chair*

(My hand IS A DOLPHIN!)

A.J.: XDDDD

(Girl: Yeah! *Like a man*)

Both: *Giggle*

(Lookin' forward to the weekend! *See clip of the car driving off cliff*

Tezz: *Bursts into laughter* I CAN'T BREATHE! OH GOD! BWAHAHAHAAAA!

A.J.: I TOLD YOU! *Laughing* IT'S FUNNY!

* * *

Vert: *Clears throat* Now, all the guys will recite something we have worked on for about six weeks now. Hope you enjoy…

(Cheering)

Vert: *Snaps* One, two, three, four…She's a young girl, talkin' about herself…

Stanford: You can't stop her! *Snaps*

Vert: She's a young girl, talkin' about herself.

Stanford: She keeps on talkin'!

Zoom, Sol, and Kytren: She's gunna break your heart… and tell the world about it… She's gunna break your heart…

(All guys line up)

Vert: I was like-

Zoom: She was all-

Sherman: He was all-

Krytus: They were like-

A.J.: We were all-

Stanford: Like-

Spinner: Omigod like totally!

Rawkus: We were like-

Kytren: I was all-

Tromp: They were all-

Kyrosys: He was like-

Krylox: She was like-

Tezz: All totally like Omigod!

Kalus: I was like-

Krockomodo: She was like-

Shadow Speeder: He was like-

Sever: They were like-

Hatch: We were all-

Zemerick: Like-

Grimian: Omigod like totally!

Zug: We were like-

Sol: I was all-

Praxion: They were all-

Tors-10: He was like-

Quardian: She was like-

All: All totally like Omigod!

**(Half repeat while the other start the beginning again)**

Audience: *Laughing and cheering*

* * *

Tezz: KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL…

* * *

Vert: I wonder how Spinner and Zoom are doing…

(Phone rings)

Vert: Oh! I must have some psychic power! XD *Answers* Hello?

Zoom: VERT! I-HELP! Take it out! TAKE IT OUT!

Spinner: STOP! IT HURTS! AGHH! OWW!

Zoom: SPINNER! I-IT WON'T COME OUT!

Spinner: AGHHH! JUST HANG UP!

Zoom: AAH-Ooohhhh!

(Beeeeeeeeeeeppp…)

Vert: Zoom's in bed with Spinner? IT WON'T COME OUT? _OW OW?_ _**TAKE IT, OUT? ! ?**_

(The next morning...)

Tezz: Ahh! What a wonderful dream!

* * *

Stanford: *Plays 'Tig ol' Bitties'*

Agura: *Giggles and dances with Vert*

Vert: O/O

* * *

A.J.: I'M NOT GOTTEN BAIN DURMAGE!

* * *

Spinner: Ya' know what my favorite types of bees are?

Agura: What?

Spinner: BOO-bees…

Agura: …No… nice one, but no…

* * *

Hetalia characters and the bad guys of BF5: *Have a dance party*

* * *

Sherman: *Spins the bottle*

(Lands on Spinner)

Spinner: Awww! *Kisses his cheek*

Everyone: -_-' NEXT PERSON!

* * *

Vert and Agura: *Kiss for a second*

Zoom: OH SHNAP! AGURA! *Smacks her* YOU COULD GET PREGNANT!

* * *

Kalus: *Walks into Hatch's lab* Hatch! Where's my-… (Sees a blue Sark drone sitting on the counter)

Hatch: Uhhh… this isn't… WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

Kalus: O/O *Walks out*

* * *

A.J.: I THINK INVADER SHUD LOVE ME MORE THAN TEZZ…!

Tezz: *Raises pipe over A.J.'s head* KOLKOLKOLKOLKOL! EEHH! *Hits him* Who's A.J.?

* * *

Tezz: Yeeaaahhh… (Shows Tezz sitting on A.J.) I'm worried about A.J.' safety too…

A.J.: *Whimpering* Maple, leaf…! *Sob sob sob*

* * *

Vert: *Wraps an arm around Zoom*

Zoom: O/O

Vert: Is this awkward to you?

Zoom: Uhhh… *Wraps arms around Vert's neck* NO! }:3

Vert: O/O

* * *

Sherman: *In his boxers and all shiny cuz of some silver paint* THIS IS KEWEL!

Spinner: (Looks the same) Hehe!

Zoom: (In gold) NOW WE CAN BE '3Oh!3!' or 'Cobra Starship'!

All 3: *Dance*

* * *

Vert, Stanford and Zoom: Hey Te-… *Cower behind Tezz's doorway*

?: (Female voice) Yesss… Agent X… Bring him to me.

Tezz: *Monotone* Yes master. I shall.

?: Goldie locks, the Brit, and the fighter shall me mine.

Tezz: I've taken care of Goldie locks once already-

?: DO NOT QUESTION ME!

Tezz: Yes master… I shall… take care of the three… Muahahahahaa!

All: O.O

* * *

A.J.: There's a difference between getting a spray tan and ROLLING AROUND IN DORITOS!

* * *

Master T.: *Sitting in the living room with Zen*

Zen: *Typing on his laptop and squeals*

(SOUNDS…)

Master T.: WHAT IS THAT?

Zen: It's England with a cold sickko! He's groaning cuz it hurts!

Master T.: D8 Sounds like friggin' porn!

Zen: NO!... *Suddenly deffencive*

Master T.: Hmmm…

* * *

Agura: *Painting Anti-Tezz's nails* Isn't this fun?

Anti-Tezz: IKR? This is like, SOO much fun! *Giggle*

Agura: Ahh, how I love Anti's

* * *

Spinner: Who's got a peeenis?

Vert: B*TCH GOT A PENIS!

…

Spinner: Whoo's got a pingas?

Sherman:… No…

…

Spinner: Who's got a penis?

Zoom: Bi-bi-b*tch got a penis!

…

Spinner: Who's got a penis?

Stanford: O.O' (Never heard the song)

…

Spinner: Who's got a penis…?

A.J.: (Pauses) GOT A PENIS! XP

…

Spinner: Who's got a penis?

Tezz: B*TCH GOT A PENIS! XD

…

Spinner: B*tch, b*tch, b*tch…

Sherman: B*tch, b*tch, b*tch

Spinner: B*tch, b*tch

Sherman: Got a, Got a

Both: PENIS!

…

Spinner: Hey Agura… who's got a penis?

Agura: I have a penis!

All: XDDD

* * *

Agura: *Backhands Sherman*

* * *

RANDOM THEMES 2!

…

Tezz: I Can Do Anything… 3Oh!3 (BEST SONG EVER… I SWEAR TO YOU…)

**watch?v=Ej0zJLrTt1A**

...

Vert: United States of Pop 2009… DJ Earthworm

**watch?v=iNzrwh2Z2hQ**

...

Agura: Moment For Life…Niki Manaj

**watch?v=R5rqBA2xxTI**

...

Sherman: Lose Yourself…Eminem

**watch?v=Ab_mlKv8U5o**

(Omigawd, I LOVE EMINEM and everything he fights for. REALLY underestimated, but when you look past him, and listen to that song, it's about his whole life. From what I've seen, he's had a really hard life and time becoming famous… X333 AGHH! Srry! I JUST LOVE HIM!)

...

Spinner: Real Slim Shady…Eminem

**watch?v=eJO5HU_7_1w**

...

Stanford: Oh Oh Oh Hardstyle Mix…Zombie Nation

**watch?v=lCCRvcGCOEo**

...

Zoom: Caribou Lou…Tech N9NE

**watch?v=O4Ro-FhS8bU**

(XDD I can sooo see Zoom listening to this with sunglasses on inside)

...

A.J.: Sugar Tunes…Dan Balan (Some kind of remix)

**watch?v=jgWpcApnSHU**


	23. What Runs in the Family

"Alright guys, let's go! I promised Zoom I would be at the hospital before visiting times so we can all be with him!" Vert called as the jumped in the Saber. The others were busy grabbing their bags and tossing them either in the Buster, the Reverb, or the Splitwire. "Just throw all the bags in the Buster, Splitwire, and Reverb and let's go!"

* * *

"Hi, umm… Takazumi? Room number?" The blond asked anxiously in a clean white hospital in eastern Thailand. The man behind the counter typed in a few things before looking up through his glasses. "Room 6112 on the sixth floor. The elevators are down the hallway and then you take a left turn. After you get up, there should be a visible waiting room just down the hall. After that, you'll see directions. Be careful to make sure anyone with the flu or a cold or any symptoms puts on a mask before entering."

"Thank you." The leader guided his team down to the elevators, where about four got on, and the rest took the next one.

Vert wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and took Agura's hand. "I'm so worried…"

"Relax… he'll be fine! We got here five minutes before the visiting hours in the CVSU, and Zoom called me before we left and said Zen's okay."

"I just feel bad because Zoom's like my brother, and Zen is Zoom's brother. So it's just hard to see Zoom in pain for his brother…" Vert sighed and started on down the hallway and to the right as the others caught up.

They all turned right again and witnessed five people outside, waiting to go in.

One was Zoom.

"Zoom! I-Is Zen okay? Is he alright?" Vert asked while they met up and hugged quickly.

The Thai wiped his red eyes and sniffled. "Yeah. I went in early and they said he can't talk because of the tube down his throat. He has lots of other tubes stuck in his body, so be prepared to see one sick kid…"

They all waited in silence until a nurse walked out of the automatic doors. "Alright! You all may visit now. BUT… only two at a time for only so long. After the hour, you will have to wait for another two hours for the next visiting opportunity. We'll tell you if anything has changed while you're waiting. Two at a time." With that, she walked back in.

Spinner let out a breath. "I say Zoom stays in there and we all go in for five minutes."

"We'll have exactly 8.57 minutes to see Zen." Tezz corrected. "Only if Zoom stays in the whole time.

The scout nodded. "Okay… But, can I go in first? Just by myself?"

The Russian pondered for a second and concluded. "You will have only 7 minutes and 50 seconds to visit. Once time is up, one of us will go in." He assured.

Zoom took in a deep breath and pressed a plated metal piece to open the heavy doors. He prepared himself and walked into the room quietly. Inside, there were about eight others with quadruple bypasses that were either sleeping, or talking to someone.

He arrived just to the right of the huge cubicle-like-separated circle and slipped through the curtain.

Zen opened his eyes weakly and shut them again once he saw Zoom.

He cautiously coughed and breathed steadily again. Looking at the large folded bundle of cloth over Zen's chest made Zoom nearly break down right there. He slowly slipped his hand into Zen's and squeezed it, hoping for a reaction. Getting a faint squeeze back made Zoom smile.

"Hey buddy… How ya' feelin?" The scout pulled up a chair to his bedside and gently stroked his bangs. Zen groaned and gave a 'so-so' sign with his hand and weakly turned his head to gaze at Zoom.

"Ya' know they have ice cream here. As soon as you get your own room tomorrow, and get situated, you can just press a button and get ice cream! I might have to come in here while you're asleep and get some while I wait for you to wake up. Zen narrowed his eyes and pointed to himself, shedding a small smile.

Zoom laughed aloud quietly and sighed. "You really took that like a champ… I have all the others outside waiting to visit too, so try not to nod off…?"

Zen rolled his eyes and listened to the dozens of machines and beeps going on.

"As soon as you can sit up and have enough eye strength so you don't fall asleep every two seconds, I'll get you a Manga or two, m'kay? Fullmetal and Hetalia: Axis Powers?"

Zen nodded and shut his eyes.

Soon afterwards, Agura entered though the curtain and barely had her eyes water. The hour passed by so quickly. The nurse came into the area and announced that visiting hour was over. Zoom sighed and turned to Zen. "Hey, kid…"

Zen opened one eye and blushed slightly as Zoom kissed his forehead. "I love you, man. I would be in the waiting room all day just to see you for a minute… But I suppose two more hours in there'll do… I'll see ya' the next hour."

He squeezed Zen's hand again before exiting, making Zen smile slightly.

* * *

Just a day later, Zoom was back visiting with everyone for the short hour. And just like before, Zoom went in first. "Heeeeyyy…"

Zen rolled his eyes. "Oh boy…"

Zoom giggled. "I see they got that tube out of your throat."

He coughed and cleared his raspy throat. "Yeah… it hurt because they keep you awake for it. It sucks…"

"I know right? So are you feelin' better?" Zoom took a seat next to the bed and ruffled his little brother's hair.

He shooed Zoom away and sighed. "I feel…" He paused constantly during sentences to take in a breath. "better… the doctor said that I could… get the tube out of my chest… tomorrow. I'm still hurting though… like, really bad."

Zoom stroked Zen's hair again and patted his leg where no needle was attached. "Well that's good! Are you getting' stuff to eat? Is it better than what Master T. makes?"

Zen shrugged, still terribly weak. "I dunno. I miss Master T. He said he's on his way back from China… and he'll be here probably tomorrow at noon. The food is really good, surprisingly."

Zoom giggled. "Aww. Well I miss you! How did you feel about that kiss I gave you?"

The young warrior twitched and blushed. "It was, disturbing…. What were you trying to do to me?"

"I was trying to win you over so I could have sex with you in a hospital right after you've had heart surgery…?" Zoom sarcastically narrowed down one eye. "I did it because you're like my little bro! I love you! That's why I'm here right now! And why… I… slept in the waiting room last night with no food…"

"You did what?" Zen asked, trying to sound as shocked at his exhausted voice would allow. "You slept in the waiting room?"

Zoom shrugged. "Hey, I'm a grown young man! I can do whateva' I want!" He snapped sassily.

Zen chuckled nervously. "It hurts to laugh… So don't show me your face."

Zoom 'oooh'ed in response and laughed. "That was a good one!"

"But really, you need to get some rest." "I did!" "No you didn't. A hospital waiting room, doesn't count… as a place to sleep." "In MY book it does…!" "According to my calculations…"

Zoom chuckled at the old joke and gently rubbed Zen's stomach. "I do love you like my own brother or even my son." He kissed Zen's cheek lovingly for more than ten seconds, making the injured teenager flush even harder than before. "Um, Zoom? I'm not gay…"

"Dude, just a mommy kiss. I haven't seen you in a year, and I finally see you, but you're injured and breathing through a tube, and… ugh!"

"Not since this morning..." Zen smiled and patted Zoom's shoulder while he was still kissed. "I guess it can slide… Oh hey Agura…!"

Zoom snapped away and made Zen giggle some at nothing.

* * *

Just four days later, Zen was already walking around the hospital with Zoom. Eventually they packed up their things, and got Zen home in the Reverb. They drove a little slow because his chest was still killing him.

Master T. met them at the temple because he came back when his flight was postponed due to heavy storms. Zoom helped Zen walk up to the doors and get taken in by his master.

The rest followed as Zen got in his large bed and started getting some rest.

"He'll be really tired for the next few days. Give him these pills every morning and every night before he goes to bed. Be sure that he has a lot of water, and bland foods like white rice and applesauce." Zoom instructed.

Master Takeyasu nodded and smiled at the small Thai in bed, who was already snoring lightly.

Zoom leaned down and kissed his cheek before walking out of the temple.


	24. Stuck in the Honeymoon Suite!

**KERSTIN BELONGS TO LOLIN' GIRL! I have gotten permission from her to write this about her character. U NO SUE!**

* * *

"Woah…" Kerstin gasped as she piled all of her bags on Tezz's lone bag. He rolled his eyes and watched her open the massive curtains and stare out onto the beach's perfect sunset. "THIS IS AMAZING! I've never really been into a hotel room before! Tell me about everything, Tezz!"

He dropped the bags and gasped before coughing. "Well, for one thing, I'm a toothpick, so toothpick-no-carry-thousand-pound-luggage. Second, never sleep with the top blanket on. It's not washed often, but luckily, we're in a friggin' honeymoon suite, so everything MUST be as clean as possible." He collapsed on the bed face-down and remained there for a minute before rolling over to her startling lime eyes. "Tezz, tell me more."

He moaned and pulled away from her hand that was tugging at his arm. "Not now… I'm tired…"

"'I'M TIRED'… Uhhhhh… C'mon lazy-butt! Get up and tell me what to do!"

"GO TO BED." He shouted blankly and pulled a pillow over his head.

Kerstin threatened to kick him where it hurts, but he said he would kick her where it hurt for a woman. Kerstin backed off and decided to take a shower. They had already eaten a fancy dinner, and she was just getting started with their five day stay in their room. The only problem was that it was a honeymoon suite. Also meaning, ONE FRIGGIN KING-SIZED BED. This, COULD be a problem.

* * *

As Kerstin stepped out of the steamy bathroom with a towel around her torso, Tezz was now reading something on his laptop. "What cha' readin'?"

"Just some info on that convention we're here for. There'll be SIX THOUSND people, can you believe it? It's gunna be hot! I told you to bring your white and red dress with the low-cut!"

I like my black one better! It makes me feel more feminine. I do have hips ya' know!" She dried her long brown hair and walked back into the bathroom with her clothes to get dressed. He pulled a towel out of the closet and waited for her to get out, fully-clothed in a white shirt and black shorts.

Reading some brochures helped on passing the time as she waited for Tezz to get out only so she could bombard him with more questions. And sure enough, as soon as he stepped out, she didn't hesitate to ask away.

"Is there a TV in here?"

"Yeah, why else would there be a remote?" He opened up the wooden cabinet with a flat-screen television inside. While she toyed with that and tried to find a good channel to watch, she watched him gather up his boxers and change in the room. No, NOT THE BATHOOM, but the very same room she was in. To make it seem like she was pre-occupied, she kept on mindlessly flipping through channels as she watched him get dressed, flipping his bangs as well.

When he turned back to hang up his towel and get a shirt on, she went back to actually looking at the screen. She stopped on 'World's Dumbest Criminals' and watched with him. "WOW… stupid…" Tezz said to himself and giggled some as he brushed his hair. She continued watching a woman try to break into an ATM and rest at the scene. "I think you're the only guy I know that actually takes longer than me to brush his hair!"

He let out a breath. "I realized something yesterday. In Soviet Russia, 'r's roll you."

Kerstin laughed at the joke and smiled to him. "In Germany… we don't…"

He let out a small laugh and laid in the bed. "You wanna sleep with me tonight? Oh yeah! You don't have a choice! Heheheheh…"

She pounced on him, making him scream and roll over some to avoid her hand ending up impaling his chest.

"Uhh, I'm just kidding." She moved over on the left side and gently curled into his chest. "You're so soft… like a cat…" She effectively purred and bit on his neck, making Tezz groan and wrap an arm around her waist.

"Wait, before we do anything to graphic for the kiddies…" He grabbed his pillow slowly and got up on his knees alone, taking her up with him. He then swiftly smacked the pillow on her stomach, laughing loudly. "MAN! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT! But since you're a kick boxer, I just dug my own grave…"

The fighter took her pillow and faced him. "OH YEAH! YOU BETTER RUN RUSSIAN BOY!"

On cue, Tezz hurried off the bed and made his way awkwardly out the door and crept down the hallway. Kerstin followed with another three pillows and quietly peered out. She hissed as she witnessed the unarmed, scared, coward Russian saunter down where all the ice was. 'No!' He mouthed as she ran after him, making him sprint down and slide on the tile, making them both burst into laughter as his shoulder hit the wall roughly.

She fell to her knees and screamed into the pillows as he tried to keep from snorting as he limped back, holding his arm in pain.

With a light-bulb going off, she walked back into the room and locked it so he couldn't get back in.

Tezz tried the handle and huffed. "Really?"

She giggled and listened to him rant some.

A young man-a little older than Tezz-walked down the hall with and ice bucket. "Your wife locked you out too?"

He smiled and shook his head. "No… she's not my wife, just a friend."

"In the honeymoon suite? I wouldn't think so… but, give her five minutes and she'll unlock the door. If not, get an extra key from a cleaning-woman. I've been there…"

"Thank… you…?" Tezz awkwardly turned and knocked again. "Kerstiiin…"

"Whaaaaat?" She mocked.

He looked around and quietly whispered. "Can I come back in? I'll get naked…"

There was a sudden silence before she made sure the door-chain was locked firmly. (IDK what it's called!) "Say pleeeease…"

He huffed. "Pleeeease?"

She smiled wickedly and shut the door before unlocking it, and letting him in. "I suppose, since you gave me that offer!"

He walked in and sat on the bed again, only to blush when Kerstin sat on his lap, straddling him. "Now, get nekkid, towel boy!"

His brown eyed widened. "WHAT?"

She kissed his cheek. "You said you would!"

"Yeah, but that was only to persuade you to let me back in!"

"Well!" She got back up and opened the door. "I suppose you can just LEAVE then!"

He rolled his eyes and got under the covers. "Oh no! We are not finished here Tezz!" She flipped the blankets over and stared at the digital clock on the nightstand. "It is nearly midnight, and we are together, alone, IN THE HONEYMOON SUITE! I'll give you five choices!"

That got his attention. He looked over with interest.

"One, you can sleep outside. Two, you can get naked and get this over with. Three, you can continue in the pillow fight and get whooped by me. Four, I can kick you where it hurts. And five… we can resume the pillow fight and whoever pins the other for five seconds, gets to strip the loser down."

He gulped and coughed. "Uhhh… ummm…"

"I would suggest number five…" She forcefully hit him in the back with a pillow. He snarled playfully and hit her back.

The fighting went on until shirts were torn off, and a pair of pants went flying to the corner of the room. Tezz pinned Kerstin down as she panted.

"Five seconds… You know what that means!"

Kerstin rolled her eyes. "You already got me down to my bra and panties, can this be enough?"

"No…" He replied smoothly and gently pushed his lips unto hers.

She pushed away ruthlessly and slapped his cheek. "I love you!" He nuzzled his nose into her chest and toyed with her strap before snapping it lightly, making her jolt up at the unexpected action. "TEZZ!"

"What? C'mon! You know you want to! Or as Belarus would say, YOU KNOW YOU VHANT TO! OPEN DIS DAMN DOOR BRADER! LET'S BECOME ONE! C'MON! LET ME IIIIIIINNNN… HEEEEEHHHHHH…" He hissed and started to move the straps off of her shoulders and downwards, revealing more skin. "You want to become one with Russia tonight, da?" He flipped his bangs and leaned inwards, making her sink more into the mattress. "Tezz! Quit it!"

He smirked and shivered as he seductively stuck out his tongue and slid it up her neck. "What is wrong with you?" She asked, giving out a giggle and a groan. He purred and ran a hand up her smooth leg. Kerstin let out a sigh and shook her head. "Something is wrong with you…"

"I know right? NOW GET NEKKID!" He said while walking into the bathroom to turn off the light. By the time he had gotten back, she was under the covers holding her two remaining garments. Tezz looked at them, a slow smirk appearing.

He walked over to the side of the bed, lifted the covers and didn't look under before crawling in next to her. She immediately grabbed a pillow and hit him in the back. He took one and replied with a hit to her face. She burst into laughter and pulled him closer. "And you vant ME to become vone vith YOU, da?" Teasing him with her thick accent made Tezz tremble every time.

He sighed. "I can see where this is going…" With a little fumbling, he brought his hand up from the covers and tossed over his boxers. "You wicked little girl…"

She shared a long kiss with him before he nuzzled into her chest, making her twitch some at the awkward feeling. "Ughhh, o-okay that's enough Tezz…" He moved back up and planted one leg on either side of her. "So we can become one now, da?" He asked cutely.

She rolled her eyes and kissed his lips quickly. "Yes. Now don't burrow your face into my boobs… it's uncomfortable."

He smirked and traced a long lick from her stomach to her neck, making her slap him on the back multiple times.

The German narrowed her eyes and shook her head while smirking. She saw his weak point. Quickly, she laughed aloud and touched his nipple, making him squeak. "DO NOT… DO THAT TO A GUY… EVER…" He was serious. She giggled. "I-I'm sorry. That was good though!"

He sniffled and put a hand to the abused area. "My nipple…" He laughed some and looked up with his rape-face smile. "Now I get to do the same to you!"

She turned over on her back, only to have him sit on her with one leg per side.

He took the time to lean over her, pressing himself upon her. "Tezz!" She cried and turned over, suddenly realizing that he was blushing. They were in the right position for... ya' know… and all it took was for her to give him the OK.

"Please?" He asked smoothly.

She shut her eyes, pondering.

Kerstin then giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for the kill like a hunter. And by the looks of it, she had her prey right where she wanted it actually.

* * *

Kerstin awoke the next morning in Tezz's arms, her head tucked tightly in his chest.

The Russian was breathing steadily as she rearranged his bangs so they looked right.

She smiled as he stirred and turned so his back would face her. He murmured something about a science convention and cutely yawned.

The German wrapped a leg around his body and kissed his neck, making him sleepily groan. "Kerstin…"

"Yeeesss?" She cooed and kissed him again.

"I-I… can't remember… did we…?"

She nodded and licked up to his lips. "You asked me to become one with you, DA…?"

He blushed and turned over on his stomach. He witnessed a sea of clothing.

One shirt draped over on the desk, the second one on the middle of the floor, a pair of shorts on the nightstand, a pair of sexy black panties over by the television, her white bra under the covers, and his boxers were on the other side of the room with her shirt.

"Woah…" He yawned and stretched some. "Well… that's nice to know… Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a little sore where you bit me."

His eyes widened. "I BIT you?" he asked and blinked in surprise.

She nodded suggestively. "Oh yeah, I still have the marks."

Tezz leaned back on the mountain of pillows and took in a deep breath. "Wow…"

Kerstin kissed his lips, crawling in next to him. "Ah, it'll be okay. I'm on birth control. It helps your skin actually. You want some breakfast?"

"Uhh… sure…" He replied quietly, still a little confused.

Kerstin smiled sweetly and walked into the bathroom to get dressed before going down the hall to the elevator.

Tezz sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. Did he really just have sex with his girlfriend? He tightly pinched his shoulder, but it was too real. He groaned and shut his eyes to try and concentrate.

She arrived no more than three minutes later with a tray holding two plates. He sat up and helped her get everything set so she didn't have to get in bed, THEN give everything to him.

Tezz took a sip of his water and stared at the wall in the awkward silence.

"Tezz… That's a funny name… TEZZ." She started.

He nodded and kissed her cheek. "Yeah, yeah. Ya' know… we still have the whole day, and two more nights in this room…"

She smirked mischievously, finishing off her food after him. "And ya know what it would be a good time for?" She slowly moved their plates to the nightstand and started crawling on his body.

"What?" He smirked and wrapped his arms around her neck.

"Welll, I was thinking maybe tonight… we could… get a little naughty again…"

"Oh really?" He asked as she burrowed into his chest. She glided one hand down his toned chest and then to his abdomen… making him curious as to what she would do.

Kerstin purred, tracing a finger down to his boxers. Apparently, in the time she had left, he got dressed some. He grinned and moved one hand over to her shoulders. "What exactly do you have in mind?" He asked as sexily with his accent as possible.

She teasingly licked his inner thigh, making him gasp and grip her shoulder tightly. "Kerstiiin…!" He shivered and moaned, but only ended by getting hushed.

"If you want to know… I'll tell you… I'm gunna force you down…" She moved back up and pinned his arms down. "grab you by the legs…" She levitated one hand towards his knee, and hovered the other over by the side of his head. "And… HIT YOU WITH A PILLOW!" She grabbed a spare pillow and sharply smacked him in the face with it.

He blinked and laughed, getting his own and chasing her around the bed with it.


	25. 12 Days of Christmas in June!

(Music)

Vert: On the first day of Christmas,  
my nucka gave to me:  
A big old bag of some tree. *Smiles*

A.J.: On the second day of Christmas,  
my nucka gave to me:  
Two stolen cars,  
and a big old bag of some tree!

Stanford: On the third day of Christmas,  
my nucka gave to me:  
Three fat hoes,  
two stolen cars,  
and a big old bag of some tree!

Sherman: On the fourth day of Christmas,  
my nucka gave to me:  
Four big *ss blunts,  
three fat hoes,  
two stolen cars,  
and a big old bag of some tree! (A little off-beat)

Spinner: On the fifth day of Christmas,  
my nucka gave to me:  
Five spinnin' riiims!  
four big *ss blunts,  
three fat hoes,  
two stolen cars,  
and a big old bag of some tree!

… (Next people get into place)

Tezz: On the sixth day of Christmas,  
my nucka gave to me:  
Six free Chileans  
five… sp-spinnin' riiims… O.o  
four big *ss blunts,  
three fat hoes  
two stolen cars,  
and a big old bag of some tree!

Zoom: On the seventh day of Christmas,  
my nucka gave to me:  
Seven hookers, hookin'  
Six free Chileans  
Five spinnin' riiiims!  
four big *ss blunts,  
three fat hoes,  
two stolen cars,  
and a big old bag of some TREEEEE! (Voice cracks and everyone laughs)

…

Kytren: On the eighth day of Christmas,  
my nucka gave to me:  
Eight b*tches, b*tching,  
seven hookers, hooking  
six free Chileans  
fiiiiiive spinnin' (Lowers voice) riiiiims…  
four big *ss blunts,  
three fat hoes,  
two stolen cars,  
and a big old bag of some treeEEEE!

…

Krytus: On the niiiinth day of Chriiiiistmas,  
my nucka gave to meeee:  
Niiine strippers, stripping  
Eeeeight b*tches, b*tching,  
seven hookers, hooking  
six free Chileans  
fiiiiive spinnin' rims, YE-HAW!  
four big *ss blunts,  
three fat hoes,  
two stolen cars,  
and a big old bag of some (High-pitched) TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

(Laughing)

Kyrosys: On the tenth day of Christmas,  
my nucka gave to me:  
Ten crips a cripping  
Nine strippers, dancing  
Eight b*tches, b*tching,  
seven hookers, hooking  
six free Chileans  
five... five... five  
four big *ss blunts,  
three fat hoes,  
two stolen cars,  
and a big old bag of some tree!

Sol: On da eleventh day of Christmas,  
my nucka gave to me:  
Eleven pimps a pimping,  
Ten crips a cripping  
Nine strippers, stripping  
Eight b*tches, b*tching,  
seven hookers, hooking  
six free Chileans  
FIIIIIIIIIII-Oh F*ck…  
What the f*ck, Oh!  
Was that my part? Agh!

All: On the tweeeeelfth daaaay of Chriiiistmaaaas,  
my nucka gave to meeeeeeee:  
Vert: Twelve nuckas, nuckin  
Tezz: Eleven… f*ckin' something  
Sol: Ten crips a cripping  
Zoom: Nine strippers, stripping  
Spinner Eight b*tches, b*tching,  
Stanford Seven hookers, hooking  
Sherman: Six free Chileans  
A.J.: Fiiive spinnin' RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMS!  
Krytus: Four big *ss blunts,  
Threefathoestwostolencars,  
All: And a big old bag of some treeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Zoom: THANK U ALL SEE U ALL NEXT YEAR! Oh yea!

All: *Bow*

(Laughing from all the BF5 cast)


	26. Happy Violent Father's Day

Sherman smiled as he and Spinner walked up slowly to the platform made of a wooden three-inch thick box. Their father, Kingsley Cortez, hand an arm around each of them. "Okay, this is our dad." Spinner said.

"Hi… I-I'm Kingsley…"

"Hi Kingsley." The team greeted on floor-level.

Mr. Cortez chuckled and blinked. "Well, I'm in the US Army, and my favorite thing to do on the weekend is either play catch with Sherman or get beat in basketball by this little guy." He smoothed his older son's hair back and let A.J. go up next.

"Hi, I'm Alex."

"Hi Alex."

A.J. gave a glare to Vert who was about to call his second dad 'Al' again.

"Well, I'm an insurance agent, and I sell snowmobiles and own a company or two. My favorite thing to do on Saturdays is to… go out in the snow and sit on the porch with my family and drink hot chocolate and see how long we can last."

Everyone clapped again while Tezz walked up with his father.

"He's taller than TEZZ…!" Agura whispered to Vert.

"_Zdravstvuĭte. Menya zovut_ Sergei Volitov."

"He said, hello my name is Sergei Volitov." Tezz translated. "He works as an open heart surgeon now, and used to be a farmer." He quickly asked what his favorite thing to do on the weekend was. "_Kakaya vasha lyubimaya veshchʹ, chtoby delatʹ navyhodnyh?_"

His father responded with a light hit to Tezz's shoulder. "Okay, his favorite thing to do is to see his family after work and do something together on Sundays."

"Aww…" Agura said as she walked up with her father, a tough-looking man with a suit on. He was emotionless. "I am Masego Ibaden. My occupation is strictly classified. What I like to do on the weekends is to take my lovely daughter out to a shooting range where hopefully, she'll follow in my secretive footsteps that you cannot know about." He said blankly.

Agura sighed and patted his shoulder. "It's all classified."

Vert then stepped up with his father. "Okay, we're the last ones. As you all know, this is Jack, my father. Thank you dads, for coming to our little father's day fling. Today we'll just get to know each other and chill."

All the dads went around meeting each other while the boys all went into the kitchen. "You got the cake?" Vert asked.

"Right here…" Agura took out a large cake in the fridge and set it down on the island.

Tezz entered after he told his father to wait outside the door for a moment.

"Guys, how's everything? Can we go ahead and bring it out? I really need to be with my dad."

"Yeah, all we need is to sign a card for our dads. Then we should be ready." Vert replied and let his teammate sign something in Russian before hurrying out and taking his father to the hallway.

As soon as everyone got their card signed, they brought out the cake and started cutting it. A.J. and his dad were settled near the back when they started hearing someone cursing in a foreign language.

"What is that?" Alex asked.

"Just Tezz arguing with his dad again." A.J. replied with a mouthful of cake. He peered over to see Tezz talking with his hands. His dad sharply slapped him in the face, making the Canadian cringe. "Hey dad? I love you… L-Let's move next to Vert and Jack…" They quickly got up to keep away from the possible fist fight.

Zoom and his dad were talking in turn with Stanford and his father.

"So I came in and asked Zoom, 'Why you not at friends?' And he said He just want stay home. AFTER ALL THAT? No. I make him go."

"Yeah, and he got a little pissed afterwards because I came unexpectedly."

Stanford giggled.

"I SICK OF YOU! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL!" Tezz shouted along with other colorful words in English and Russian as he made his way down the hallway, walking out the door and slamming it behind him, a trail of tears and blood following him.

Jack and Kingsley looked in shock at Sergei, who went after him, blood dripping down his cheek also.

"Daddy issues…" Agura rolled her eyes. "sooo overrated." Her father embraced her and smiled with a small snicker.


	27. VertxAgura I AM NOT YOUR BOTTOM!

**Again for Kgirl1**

**Cuz she makes me smile with her randomness and love for VertxAgura.**

**=)**

**O.f**

**Kolkolkol…**

* * *

Agura slowly opened Vert's bedroom door.

The blond was sleeping to the point where it wasn't exactly snoring, but he was deeply asleep.

She walked in and gently shook his shoulder. "Vert…?"

He quickly sat up and got a baseball bat at his bedside. "WHERE IS THAT LITTLE ASIAN PRICK! ? Oh…" He sleepily put the battery weapon away and rubbed his eyes.

Agura let out a deep breath. "Umm… this is really unlike me, but can I sleep with you? I had a nightmare about my childhood… one of the rather bad days… a-and, yeah."

Immediately, Vert pulled back the covers and scooted over.

It WAS a little embarrassing to be sleeping with a girl in a fairly large bed, while you were in just boxers, and she had on a pair of sweats and an old jacket.

"So what happened?" He asked as she snuggled up next to him.

Agura sighed. "Oh, just a bad day… I broke my leg while jumping into a 'deep' river." She turned away from him. "Anyway, i-it's not that important…"

Vert placed a hand on her back and turned her over, his mind going berserk.

'_Omigod, Omigod, Omigod… SHE'S NOT WEARING A FRIGGIN' BRA… Okay, hormones… calm down…'_

She twisted around, the zipper of her sleeping jacket half down to reveal some of her white lacy tank-top.

Vert hid his blush and crossed one leg over the other. She sighed again and snuggled into his chest.

This made his blush spread. He bit his lip and moved back some.

Agura giggled when she noticed that he was feeling uneasy, especially the way he crossed his legs.

"Oh Vert… you're so cute…" She sighed and stroked his cheek lovingly.

He sniggered and nuzzled close to her. "You are too. Now tell me all about that scary dream."

As she went on explaining he couldn't help but let his mind wander.

And it wandered alright…

It wandered off so much that it was making him use more energy to think of the things, and therefore, his eyes drooped down tiredly. ON HER CHEST.

Agura stopped short and pulled her arms over them, shocked. "VERT!"

He snapped back. "Oh GOD! I-I'M SO SORRY! I just… you're in bed with me and you down have a bra on… I'M A TEENAGE GUY!" He blushed.

"Ya' know, I didn't HAVE to choose to sleep with YOU. I could have slept with Sherman! Oh that's right! You probably don't know the difference. The contrast is that SHERMAN ISN'T A PER**VERT**!" She poked his forehead. Vert blushed and blinked at an observation. "So why exactly DID you chose me and not him?"

"…"

Nothing in reply but a dirty look indicating that he had won.

Agura growled lowly and zipped up her jacket all the way and put her hoodie on.

He paid attention this time, now that he had nothing to stare at but her beautiful face, which he didn't mind doing.

"See what I mean?" Agura asked.

Vert nodded and yawned. "Man, it's getting' late. Wanna go ahead and get some sleep?"

"Only if you don't drug me and rape me in the middle of the night…"

"Oh c'mon Agura! I'm sorry! I got hormones like crazy hea'! I'm sorry. I TRULY AM. I was just thinking at the time and the energy used to put all the colors and shapes together borrowed some from my eyes since all my other senses are asleep! So, my eyes drifted on down… boop." He poked her chest. "to your chest…-_s_."

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "FINE. But if I find you staring there again, you'll get kicked in the thing that I think is MOST LIKELY rising under the sheets right now!"

Vert blushed madly and crossed his legs again. "Liar. Liar, please tell me you're lying…"

Agura laughed silently to his reaction.

"Oh, so I was RIGHT! Tell me… is my mighty leader getting, TURNED ON?" She unzipped her jacked all the way.

Vert stared straight at her chest and almost seemed like he was drooling.

"I WANT THEM." He joked.

But Agura thought he was serious. So she moved a little closer to him.

"Oh really, well you gotta EARN them first. What's my favorite color?"

"GREEN."

"Favorite number?"

"You have none."

She eyed him and stuck out her lip. "Smart boy… What's my favorite ice cream?"

"YOU SAID ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT BUT I THINK YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL ALL THE TIME."

Agura smiled and kissed his cheek. "Last one… what's my favorite type of guy?"

Vert stuttered and pondered. "Ummm… uhh… dang it! Asian? !"

"You really wanna know…?" She leaned in, already giving him a taste of what he wanted to sink his teeth into… not literally, ow.

"Huh?" He asked, still staring.

She whispered in his ear seductively, "Tall, blond, sexy, toned, tan, and… _horny_." She put an extra emphasis on the last word by running a finger up his leg, trying to keep in a loud laugh.

"Oh God…!" He whimpered and cringed back some, his legs starting to hurt from pressing together so hard.

Agura growled and shrugged. "Alright… I guess you earned them…" She teasingly snapped her strap and took the jacket off fully.

Vert panted quietly and looked at her.

She flopped down on her stomach and rolled next to him. "You turned on now?"

"NNNOOOPPPEEE! Heh heh!" He bit his lip until it bled.

Agura giggled before pushing herself onto him, causing him to suck in a deep breath and clamp his eyes shut to keep from pulling her into his lap, ripping off her pants and shoving himself into her v-.

"You alright Vert?" The huntress smiled of satisfactory and decided she had enough fun. After all, she didn't want him to suffer. He sighed and nodded. "Sure."

"Okay… okay…"

He sighed and turned to her.

"So is it gunna be okay if I sleep with you tonight or not?" Agura asked. "You never said… you only gestured."

Vert slowly gripped her shoulders and pulled her forwards.

"Will this answer your question?"

He pressed his lips softly against hers passionately.

She responded with a hand to his cheek.

He tilted his head sideways to avoid their noses touching and slipped his tongue against hers.

Agura moved her head up as he gently nibbled into her neck.

Vert got in a few rough bites, making her squirm. She then pulled him away and playfully placed a hand to his knee.

The blond felt her press herself up onto his chest.

Immediately, he slipped one strap down her arm, and then the other.

Agura smirked as she allowed him to pull her top over her head.

She returned the favor by making him wait as she slid off his boxers.

Vert blushed a rosy pink and was pulled on her, all of his heat either rising to his forehead… or going somewhere else.

Agura bit on his collarbone lightly and smirked. "You are SO turned on right now. I can tell by the way you keep on rubbing against my leg.

He flushed and giggled innocently. "Who's to say I'm not?" He nibbled on her neck and slowly went down her chest. Agura paused him before he got to his reward. "Can we just get this over with?"

"I'm gettin' there!" He replied and grabbed her hips, pushing her against him.

**(OH SHNAP! Better keep this rated T!)**

* * *

The following morning, Agura batted her eyes before peering over to Vert.

'_Messy hair, scratched chest, boxers on the floor… uh-oh…'_

She looked under the sheets to see not only him, but herself, completely bare.

All she could remember were a few images of Vert on top of her nibbling at her neck, and… doing a few other things…

Agura sighed and hooked her legs over the bed.

She almost stumbled out the door with no shirt, but she fished it out in the sea of clothing and got her regular sleep-wear on.

As she walked downstairs, she was limping pretty badly. There was a long scratch up her thigh. It was soon followed with a pain in her gut while she touched the sensitive area.

She huffed and continued into the kitchen.

"Hey Tezz…" She yawned, "Hey Stanford." and kissed their cheeks.

To her dismay, for once Tezz wasn't occupied with another 'genius invention', and Stanford didn't even bother to fix his hair every two seconds. (Bad morning habit)

Instead, she got naughty glares.

For Stanford it was natural, but Tezz wasn't exactly the 'hitting on a girl' type, so he looked especially awkward.

"What?" Agura asked.

"Oh nothing," Stanford replied and started reading the newspaper. "Hey Tezz, did you get that much sleep last night?"

"No, I didn't!" He sounded like he was acting.

Agura knew where this was going. She groaned inside her thoughts.

"So why exactly did you NOT get a good sleep?"

Tezz shrugged. "I don't know! I just kept on hearing screams and groans… it sounded like Vert was in pain. A LOT OF PAIN. But I shrugged it off. That is…"

The fire-head kept back a laugh. "'That is' what?"

Tezz bit his lip. "That is until our dearest Agura was screaming also…"

"Yeah, and ya' know what? You wanna know something Tezz?" She turned and pointed a spoon at him menacingly. "Vert is the best guy I've ever been with. Wanna know why?"

"Please, I could use a good laugh today…" He glared evilly.

Agura smirked before coming back with the best come back in Hub history.

"Because he's BIGGER than YOU."

"OOOHHHHHHHH!' Stanford cried and burst into heavy laughter.

Tezz stared and blushed. "NO SUCH THING! YOU SAID SO YOURSELF!" The Russian gazed at her in shock, mentioning thier one night fling whne Tezz accidently brought his vodka into the Hub and let Agura try it and drag him up to her room.

"Oh really? You wanna know why I was screaming? It was because he put it ALL in. AND THAT'S A LOT TO TAKE IN! I'M SERIOUS! With you, I had room to spare. I would lay there with you and say, 'Is it in yet? Is it in yet?'. Although you may be flexible, VERT was better than you. He's not as flexible as you, which is kind of hot considering that you're a guy and can do that Russian jumping-split, but… it's just not enough!"

Stanford, who was still laughing, was about to bust a lung when Agura finished that last sentence and pointed at the jaw-dropped Russian.

"You little naughty…!"

"Oh! That's another thing! Vert has VARIETY. One second he's a top, the next he wants to be bottom… That's why it was so much fun to be with him! He foreplays… Yeah, he's got a gag and some handcuffs! In fact…" She continued, getting closer to the two. "Vert let ME on top for a little while!"

Tezz had a thick red rosy blush coating his cheeks.

Stanford composed himself and giggled some. "Hehehehe! You're smaaaall!"

Tezz glared. "What about him?"

"Oh he's smaller!" Agura shrugged like it was nothing and listened to the rare laughter of Tezz.

He fell off his chair backwards even.

"BAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

Vert swung through the door frame a moment later. "Hey guys… what's with Tezz? Is he on drugs again?"

Agura shook her head. "No…"

"Hey Vert, I heard you and Agura had a little fun last night! Eh?" Stanford started doing some suggestive pelvic thrusts and snickered. "Nsnsnsnsnsnsnsnsns!"

Vert rolled his eyes.

"Hey Vert! You okay? I heard you screaming last night." Zoom said as he walked in his boxers.

"Yeah, he was screaming for Agura to deep-throat." Tezz answered.

"TEZZ!" Vert shot.

Zoom's face twisted into a sour grin. "REALLY?"

"NO!"

"YES! And he loved it. He was like…" Stanford grabbed Tezz and suggestively pushed the Russian to his belt line. They were behind the counter, so it looked pretty convincing.

Especially when Sherman walked in, half-awake.

He was awake now.

"Uhhh… I-I'm gunna go…"

The Brit shrugged and let off a few yummy faces and expressions before moaning. "Ahhh! Agura! Faster, ohhh! Harder! Don't use your teeth! No! Ahhh! Slurp up all my c-"

Tezz popped back up and pushed Stanford away. "I'M NOT YOUR BOTTOM!"

Vert couldn't have been any redder.

Zoom looked to him. "Nice one Vert… NICE…"


	28. HETALIA!

**THIS IS A PARODY OF EPISODE 26 FROM HETALIA: AXIS POWERS**

**PLZ go watch the vid before reading this!**

**(UTube).com/watch?v=lJtrAVw9DYk&feature=related**

**(Hetalia rulz… that is all.)**

* * *

Stanford had to admit, he had gotten a little sick of Vert ever since they had been teammates…

"Check it out yo! How kick-ass is my new fighter plane of doom?" Vert asked as he rested a pair of goggles on his head. "Dude! It blowin' your mind yet or what?" he asked as he turned to Stanford.

He sighed audibly for them both to take note of, half turned. "I don't get it, why did you call me all the way out here just to look at a silly airplane?"

He turned around and let out a snickering chuckle right before he turned on his heels and faced the American. "It's just, _STUPID_, I could have never come up with the same design. I think it's, _STUPID_, very unique!" He smiled innocently.

Vert giggled. "Hey thanks man! It was actually created to help me beat the holy hell out of you, so I'm glad you think it's style!"

The Brit burst into a sight freak-out stage with a gasp and a shocked expression.

Suddenly, a man next to him leaned over. "'Scuse me, but wasn't that information supposed to stay a SECRET?"

"IT SURE WAS!" Vert beamed.

* * *

"_Busby's Chair. Long ago, Thomas Busby viciously beat a man to death for sitting in this, his favorite chair. After being convicted of murder, he reportedly cursed the chair on his way to the gallows. He swore anyone who sat in his chair would have the same fate he was about to face. It is said, the chair is responsible for sending over sixty people to their deaths…"_

* * *

"I've got it now… I'll switch Vert's chair with Busby's during the meeting! Vert won't be able to jive-talk his way out of this one!" He cackled and went on placing the furniture at the rounded table where Vert's chair usually was.

I can't believe I didn't think about cursing him like this sooner!" He started giggling maliciously to himself again before noticing Tezz sitting in that spot a moment later. He gasped.

"Oh, _dobroe utro_ Stanford. You're here kind of early today, aren't you?" Tezz asked as the chair was drenched in a type of red light that sent a loud crack, and split the wooden fixture a few separate ways.

Stanford let out a long whimper.

* * *

"_Busby's Chair… Anyone who sits in this chair will be cursed with a quick, and often painful death. Except, apparently, FOR TEZZ."_

**Stanford has entered upon an operation to get Vert dead drunk and get information out of him.**

* * *

Vert separated his glass, which was half full, from his mouth to speak. "Well this is fun! You don't normally ask me out for drinks!"

Stanford looked at him, a drink in his hand also. "I figured it was high-time we got together and turned up a pint again."

**However, several hours later…**

Stanford was slouched down on the counter with his head cradled in his arms. He groaned. "Ughh, am I Catholic, or Protestant? GOD I DON'T KNOW!" He slurred, the alcohol clearly clouding his mind.

"Excuse me," The bartender came over and faced the blond. "is he okay?"

"He always gets like this when he starts drinki-" Vert started to explain but was cut off.

"YOU DON-KNOW ME!" Stanford shouted and went on complaining about who he was and how he could handle his drinks better than Vert any day.

Vert leaned back some, "Dude, calm down!" but had a finger in his face. "Shut up! I felt bad about how the way old frog-face was treating you, so I saved your ass! I thought maybe we could be friends and bond over a neutral hatred for France but UH-UH!" He said that last word like a child about to burst into tears.

"YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME, YOU JUST WANTED TO TELL ME WHAT TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT DO ANYWAY I THINK THAT'S-" Stanford's language and his accent mixed made the next part difficult to understand, but he was upset.

**Next Day…**

"Why won't the light just shut up? I SWEAR I'm never going to drink again! Ohh, someone please kill me!" Stanford pleaded under a blanket and groaned between sentences at the terrible throbbing in his head.

Vert smiled at A.J. who was in the doorway. "DUDE CAN PARTY!"

A.J. murmured something under his breath in French at the sight.

* * *

The fire crackled as Sherman sat with Zoom next to their camp fire. They were crouched down, trying to keep warm as the only thing to comfort them was the sound of crashing waves, and Spinner's light snoring. It was kind of cute, but they had no time for cute, especially with 'SOS' written in the sand by using a stick a few yards away.

Zoom blinked and looked up as Sherman perked his eyes to the escarpment that blocked them from the woods above, the full moon glinting in his eyes. "It seems they are here…" Sherman muttered.

"I agree…" Zoom added and dropped his lacked that was draped around his shoulders.

Spinner suddenly awoke and popped his head into the scene. "Say whaaaaat?" He asked quietly.

"The damn allies…" Sherman hissed as they all witnessed Zen in a dark military green uniform with black boots and his hair down, Stanford in the near same clothing, Vert in a brown air force jacket and jeans, A.J. in a deep purple cloak with matching puffy pants and high black boots, and Tezz with a heavy champagne-colored cloak-like jacket, a scarf, and light brown gloves and boots.

Getting ready for a battle, Sherman took out his pistol, and Zoom got out his sword. Spinner just waved a white flag while trembling, whimpering as he did so.

They were startled to hear a loud laughter coming from the blond. "HA-HA-HA-HA! LISTEN TO ME IN MY TOTAL HERO VOICE, GUYS!" He waved an arm out to the side as if he were starting round one. "ZEN! I CHOOSE YOU!" **('CHINA! I CHOOSE YOU!', but Zen is Thai. XP)** He beamed as they all fixed their eyes upon the small monk. He leaped down to Sherman with a grunt, a wok and ladle in his hands.

Zoom gripped the sword tighter and hissed. Spinner waved the flag more rapidly.

Zen landed with a long battle cry when he dashed the wok before the Cortez. Sherman pulled back and dodged a few more attacks before he was smacked in the head with a cry from his hitter. Zoom tried to help, but the cooking instrument was brought back up and landed on his stomach, knocking him out.

Zen shut his eyes and took a few deep breaths before turning to the last Axis power, who was in shock and started waving the flag as fast as he could.

"I give uuup! Please don't beat me, because I'm delicate and I bruise like a summer peach! And I think your hair is really cool-aouh!" he stopped suddenly as everyone was now at the sea when Zoom and Sherman came to.

The crowd witnessed Stanford out in the water with a patched up chair that had a glow of purple and blue seeping out of it, a hollow laughter that echoed throughout the area.

"That's Busby's Chair!" A.J. said abruptly, his voice like an exasperated exhale.

"I don't know what that means…" Vert said to himself, like he was about to finish when Zen interrupted. "It's a chair that's been cursed."

Stanford smirked smugly, glaring at the crowd while feeling amazing in his pride moment of the week. "Correct, does anyone here have the courage to sit in this accursed chair?"

"Ahh!" Tezz smiled warmly as he crossed one leg over the other. "Comfy!"

"NO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE YOU! GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NA-OW!" He whined as the chair split up into hundreds of bits that no amount of glue or tape would be able to bring back together.

Vert twitched while Tezz looked up in confusion.

* * *

_"Busby's Chair… it is Britain's ULTIMATE Weapon…"_ Stanford finished.


	29. Thorough Exam

Stanford walked into Sage's room/the infirmary. "Morning Sage." He said to his friend. "Aren't I here fori a check-up?"

She nodded. "Just sit on this table." She gestured over to a comfy table with a cushion and paper rolled over the top like in most doctor offices. He swung his legs over the side as she got her papers and tools together.

"So… how have you been feeling?"

He shrugged. "I guess I'm alright. Sure, my stomach was hurting a few nights back, but I think it was because of Spinner's cooking." He replied as she pushed him onto his back and rolled up his shirt.

As she pressed along his stomach, he held back a few giggles. Every single time he went to the doctors, he started to laugh when they would touch his stomach.

The Blue smiled for a moment before writing something down. "Well, looks like you're okay in that area, let's check your face." She pulled him back up and shown a light down his throat. "Say ah for a moment please." She requested.

After that was done she put down her papers and got another tool to look in his ears and eyes, then his nose.

"Do you have any allergies?"

He nodded. "Besides lactose, I sneeze whenever pollen is around. "

"Ah, that's it. Your nasal passages are a little swollen from all the sneezing. Stay indoors until I can get the medicine required. You seem perfectly healthy for now."

As Sage took his height and weight, Stanford was getting curious about the gloves on the table. He didn't know what she would do with them and started making up absurd ideas. Maybe, she would use it to reach down someone's throat, or she had to operate on Sherman later for all of those bad wrist sprains he's had.

Stanford stepped off of her scale and sat back down. "Can I go?"

"Ummm…" She checked her clipboard one last time before snapping. "Oh! You're in need of an early prostate exam."

The Brit stared as she put her things down and got on her gloves. "Huh?" He asked almost in a whimper.

"A prostate exam. It's a part of a routine when men go in for check-ups. It's to check for cancer, now come on."

The redhead gulped and stood up. "W-What do I do?"

"Drop your pants, turn around and lean on the table."

Stanford cleared his throat as he slowly did what she asked. She placed a hand to his back before she started, TESTING HIM. Stanford yelped and backed away. "WHAT WAS THAT?"

"THE TEST, now c'mon Stanford!"

He whimpered and shook his head. "C-Can I just not? Please?"

"It's part of life. You need to have it done for the sake of your health!" She requested and bent him back over.

Stanford whimpered as she did it again. "This is so wrong." He whimpered.

* * *

Stanford shivered as he entered the living room.

Zoom and Vert were sitting together on the couch watching re-runs when they looked into the pale green eyes before them. "Oh my God! Stanford! You look terrible!" Vert cried and helped his teammate sit down.

"What happened to you?" The scout asked after fetching him some water.

"I-I'm just… scared." He said quietly. "I-I went for a check-up with Sage, and… ughguaghaghhh…"

"What happened?" Vert asked while sitting back down, a hand on the red head's knee.

Stanford slowly sighed. They were all guys here, right? They would understand. "Uhh… I got a prostate exam." He lowly replied.

Zoom sucked in air in pain. "Ouch."

The blond patted his back. "Hey, no worries man. Everyone but Spinner has already gotten one, nothing to feel scared about! A.J. and I were the same way, Zoom said he was scarred for life, while Sherman and Tezz were like 'whatevs.'."

Stanford smiled. "But it's creepy… a hand is touching… my innards…"

"Eh, Sage is a doctor! She knows what she's doing! Now if Sage were a GUY, that would be alright with me but really freaky. I had to admit, I was a little nervous because Sage was a girl that was reaching up my butt." Zoom added.

Stanford got up and walked back to his room. "Thanks…"


	30. Alone

_I… am alone. Since Zoom dropped me off here before he left, Master Takeyasu was gone. He was locked away in a Battle Zone, a different dimension, with no way of returning in his own. I was stranded. It was only me now. All the other warriors were leaving to go home with their parents, and I was left._

_The only thing I have is meditation, which is just concentrating really hard, and a few items of food to last me a few weeks. I didn't have anything to do. I couldn't race Zoom down the mountain or train with the other boys, or even talk with my Master._

_You might be wondering why I didn't go with my family, well… to tell you the truth…_

* * *

Even though he couldn't remember, Zen was in great danger when he was only four years old. He whimpered as a large figure picked him up by his shirt and examined him. Zen started crying for someone to help him. The figure before him put him down gently, and was kicked in the chest, his back hitting the wall.

An man, about thirty-five, took the child away quickly, and maneuvered through the mouth of the dragon quickly, slipping by before his old enemy could follow.

He set the child down as another one came up to him. "Who's that?" A little one about seven years old asked.

Master T. smiled and helped the child look around. The toddler started squirming as he whimpered in the man's arms. "M-MOMMY!" He said as his eyes started to become misty with tears.

"Shhhh… It's okay… it's alright…" he assured and brought the new monk to his chest, soothing him little by little. "You're safe now…"

* * *

Zen swung his short legs off the side of the bridge near where Master T. was fixing something in the ground. "What's that?" The toddler asked sweetly.

The middle-aged man let out a sigh and wiped his forehead. "Oh, just a plant. When the time is right, it shall grow. But until then…" He turned swiftly and picked up the small one, getting little giggles in return. Takeyasu held the boy in his arms as he kissed the young one's cheek. "let's go back inside, and get a little training in while it's still cool."

* * *

Ice cream was only for special occasions. The group of young scouts and warriors never got to eat sweets because of their strict guidelines and they had to keep their figures if they wanted to be the Chosen One. Zoom sat next to Zen outside on the stonewalls of the garden as the others talked and were spread out along the compound.

"You think there's something more than this place, Zen?" Zoom asked. Being only thirteen had its limits to knowing what the real world was like. The younger Zen, about ten years old, shrugged. "I dunno. I'm just a kid!" He used his spoon to get another part of ice cream and looked out into the foggy air.

"I wanna get out there and see the rest of the world. I can't stay here forever." The Thai muttered as their Master sat next to the younger one. "Savor this moment, the taste, and the smells boys. This is one of the rare moments you'll get ice cream." Zen scooped a little up into the spoon and hovered it near Master Takeyasu's mouth. "Take it."

"Nooo I couldn't…"

"C'moooon! Just TRY some! It's gooooood!" The boy whined.

The man rubbed his temples before dropping his jaw and letting Zen give him some. Zoom looked over to see his mentor pulling his friend into a tight hug. "Thank you Zen. Truth is, I haven't had something like that in about 20 years…"

Zen smiled and giggled as he finished the rest of his. "Can I have som'more?"

"Ah, what the heck…"

Zoom took note of this. If someone like him asked, Master would say no automatically. How come Zen always got the better deal?

* * *

Zen panted as he stepped out of the training room ring. "How… was that?" He asked, taking his gloves off and tossing them in his bag as Master T. greeted him at one side. "That was better! Be sure to watch out for those jabs to your gut next time. Nice work. Go ahead and shower before getting to bed, you reek of sweat." Zen smirked and jumped out of the ring. He was old enough to finally move up a level. This stuff wasn't even close to what Zoom was doing, and he was already worn out.

His legs ached from his warm-ups like running five miles. Zoom had to run ten.

The sit-ups were degrading, his arms were sore from all the punching, and his stomach had gotten a few hits as well. He nearly passed out on his way out of the gym.

Thankfully, Master Takeyasu was there and wrapped an arm around Zen.

He guided the young one to his bathroom, got him washed, and dressed him. Zen groaned as he slowly laid on his bed. "Uhhhh, my legs huuuurt…" He complained, holding an arm over his eyes.

His Master knelt next to him and lovingly placed a hand on his stomach, getting a loud moan in response. Zen turned over, his legs too weak to worry about. "It feels like my bones are on fire…" He whimpered.

Master T. gently pulled the covers over his monk and turned out the lights. "Sleep it off and… you can sleep through training tomorrow. Goodnight Zen, I love you." He gently kissed Zen's cheek before exiting quietly. Zen smiled warmly.

* * *

_The man kissed the toddler on the cheek and cradled him in his arms, protecting him of the dangers that he would soon know of. "I'll be your mother, for now… Zen…" He called the child and pulled him closer._

* * *

_Master Takeyasu, is my only family. My mom, my dad, my sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents... everything._

_And now, __he's gone..._

**_And I'm alone._**


	31. 7 Guys, 1 Girl, and videos REVENGE!

**FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD, DO NOT LOOK AT THESE VIDEOS. THEY R DISGUSTING. DO NOT. NEVER. DON'T LOOK FOR THEM. GET A SUMMARY OF THEM FROM YOUTUBE REACTIONS!**

**Quick short.**

* * *

Agura strapped A.J. down to his chair lastly. "I'm sorry I have to do this… but boys, it's time for payback." She sniffled and turned the others around while A.J. and Vert faced the computer. "If Sage hears screaming, I'll tell her that you all were fooling around and someone started bleeding." She started to horror film, '2 Girls 1 Cup and turned away to see their reaction.

First it was requests to stop the video and whimpers. Vert gagged and A.J. started coughing. The Canadian groaned. "Ohhh! GET ME A TRASH CAN!" He cried. Agura placed her trash can next to him and shivered as she watched him throw up into it heavily.

"What happened?" Spinner whimpered, trying not to turn from the wall.

"Nothing…" Agura said as she looked at Vert, who was getting out some dry heaves. "Ughhh… I-I'm good…"

As that video ended, she pulled up Sherman and Spinner to watch the next one along with the other two: 'BME Pain Olympics'

"Oh God…" Spinner cried as Agura got another can.

A.J. was still disgusted as Vert got a can brought over to him. He vomited as the others watched him. The video was worse.

Sherman coughed, but controlled his stomach. "Ughhh…"

After that video, Agura was smiling just as evil as ever. He turned them all around while she brought Tezz, Zoom, and Stanford to the front. She played the incredibly long video of '3 Guys 1 hammer', and the results were amazing.

For the first minute, Tezz was emotionless, Stanford was screaming, and Zoom had already thrown up twice.

As it progressed on, Tezz's stomach started to coil. His hands were strapped down, so he couldn't cover his eyes. Even if he closed them, Agura would whip him in the back. He forced himself to watch until around four minutes in. He leaned over to the side and hurled for a minute before watching a man's eyes get viciously stabbed with a screwdriver. He gagged as they witnessed Stanford get sick as well.

After that, she made them all watch 'Mr. Hands'.

Spinner finally got sick. Vert was screaming, Stanford was also sick, and A.J. could only curl his hands into fists. Zoom tried to take it like a warrior but ended up getting cramps. Tezz threw up half way into it, and Sherman was occupied with all the sickness.

Agura still had a few more. She made them watch a true horror for men. '2 Kids in the sandbox'.

No one was sick, but seeing something of their anatomy get abused like that made them SCREAM.

Spinner had his eyes clamped shut and was hit in the back brutally.

Stanford clenched his side and whimpered.

They all screamed at one moment and Agura turned it off.

With that, she left the room with the vomit containers, and a smile on her face. It's what they got for going on a panty-raid while she was sleeping…


	32. Here's another Quotes Chapweeee! XD

Vert: I LOVE YOU MORE THAN JAPANESE PEOPLE LOVE TENTACLE PORN!

Zoom: O.G

* * *

(I think I've used this one before)

Spinner: *Reading something in class* A squid has two testicles… *Slams head on desk*

All: XDDDDD

Teacher: *Giggling*

Sherman: XDDD

* * *

Agura: *Hugs Tezz*

Tezz: NOOO! MY CRACK!

* * *

Zoom: *Glares at Zen*

Zen: O.O

Zoom: *Rape face* Zeeeen… you want some of my candy?

Zen: SURE!

Zoom: Okay… it's in my pants…

Zen: OKAY! *Reaches down his pants*

Vert and BF5: O0O

Zoom and Zen: XDDDDD

* * *

Kerstin: NO ONE RAISE THEIR HAND IN A WAY THAT MOCKS MY COUNTRY'S PAST!

Tezz: -3-… SOOOOO hawt…

* * *

Vert: Did someone put that video tape in? THE ONE WITH ALL THE STATIC ON IT?

Zoom: It was me!

Stanford: Hagh! I just counted and there are SIX PEOPLE IN THE ROOM!

Tezz: (Dreamily, cuz he's drunk) No way! Six people-? Who the hell else is in here with us?

A.J.: I'm right here. I wonder if they'll pay attention if I make some noise… One day they'll notice me…

Pet Polar Bear: Who are you?

A.J.: I'M CANADA! {:D

* * *

Polar Bear: Who are you?

A.J.: I'm Canadia. X_X

* * *

Zoom: OH YEAH! SCREAMO CHINESE MUSIC!

* * *

Jack Wheeler: Vert… You know that Russian guy over there…?

Vert: Yeah… his name's Tezz Volitov. Before… there was an incident and well, nine years later, we found him in a deserted place. He was from Moscow, why?

(So they end up talking about Tezz for a few minutes)

Vert: What do you think Tezz likes to do in his free time?

Jack: …*In cheesy Russian accent* He like to play tennis…

Vert and Jack: XDDD

Vert: What else?

Jack: Uhh… I dunno.

Tezz: *Clears throat* AHEM…? I do not play tennis, nor do I enjoy THAT brand of vodka! It's not strong enough! God… Americans…

Jack and Vert: XDDDD

* * *

(Music)

(Zoom and Zen are in a club.)

Zen and Zoom: It's like!  
151 rum,  
Pineapple juice, and Malibu, caribou, get them all numb.  
Make baby girl come,  
Out of her shell and raise hell,  
Don't stop 'till de cops come!

Girls: SQUEEEEEEE!

* * *

Vert: LOLZ. *Hugs Agura* UR SO CUTE…

* * *

Sherman and A.J.: *Doing gang signs* East Side, West Side, MCDONALDS.

* * *

A.J.: WHOOT! MORE MEEEE!

Stanford: (Dead)

* * *

Vert: (In the meeting) Are we missing anyone? Spinner, are you here?

Spinner: Present.

A.J.: I'M HERE! I'M HERE!

Stanford: Yes, we all know…

Agura: Hey, Sherman?

Sherman: I'm over here Agura.

Agura: Oh! My bad!

Tezz: What about Zoom? I'm sure Zoom will have to sit next to me.

Stanford: IT'S NOT ZOOM, TEZZ, YOU ONLY WANT IT TO BE!

Slight TezzxZoom? Hmmm?

* * *

Spinner: No vay… intervering with ov-er country's provlems vould make me GASSY.

* * *

Vert: Thanx Sage, UR THE BEST!

Sage: Yes I know honey… I know… *Sassily walks off*

* * *

Zoom: Do you remember the double tornado kick?

Zen: Yes!

(They start doing that)

Zen: *Flies off* AGHHHHH! Cast: *Laugh some but see that he's not breathing*

* * *

A.J.: Well, showing them ur butt could always make them a little questionable…!

…

Spinner: Hey Zoom! Want to see my butt? :D

Zoom: ._. Not if you pay me mirrian dorrar. (Million dollar)

…

A.J.: Well, at least you had the nerve to try it, that's a start!

* * *

(Leaves Are Fun)

Agura: I can SMELL THE LIQUOR IN YOUR BREATH, VERT…

Vert: (Drunk) I'VE BEEN DRINKIN' BITCH!

* * *

Spinner: MORE SAVINGS, MORE FALCONS…

Stanford: I want a falcon!

(5 min later)

Stanford: *Getting clawed in the eyes* AHHHHHHHHHHH-!

* * *

(Knock on Tezz's door)

Tezz: *Gasp* O-ONE SECOND! DON'T COME IN! *Hides something under his bed and opens the door just a little* Yeeees?

Agura: Hey Tezz, can I come i-

Tezz: NOOO! *Shuts door and locks it*

…

(THE NEXT DAY)

Agura: Okay, I set up a camera to see what Tezz has been keeping such a secret…

Sherman: Sweeeet!

(Both look at footage and gasp)

Agura: He's knitting?

Stanford: *Looks over and gasps* No… not again! Not after what happened to… JOE!

Both: What happened to Joe?

Stanford: One day, Tezz was knitting in the sunroom and my friend Joe came in with me. He looked at him knitting, and started laughing. That was when Tezz snapped inside. Apparently, there was a deep dark secret that he's kept about his mother who was brutally attacked while knitting. Tezz looked up, but he was calm. He grabbed the needle he was working with, **stabbed Joe in the eye, and RESUMED KNITTING WITH HIS ****OPTIC NERVE…** *Shivers*

Both: *Look at Tezz and shiver* O.O

Stanford: I bet those are the same bloody needles he used to kill Joe.

Sherman: H-He made me a sweater…! *Vomits*

* * *

(The Red One)

A.J.: F*** THIS GAME! *Flips table*

…

Tezz: Don't panic, I can handle this, I can total handle this. It has a password, and I'll just, um, hack into it. Okay, um...A, A, A, A, A...A. -BZZZZZZZZT- Ok, ok, I'll try that again. A, A, A, A, A, C -BZZZZZZZZZZT- FUUUUUUU-!

* * *

Vert: What on earth is tha-Oh it's a rock…

* * *

Anti-Tezz and Agura: HAY HAY HAY! *Walk in the Hub*

* * *

(You can see Zen's hand clawing at the wall)

Zen: *Panting* I'm gunna die! Ohh! Ah! *Gasping and cringing* (A few moments after the other person talks) *Panting gets heavier* AGHHHHHHHH!

…

THAT'S IT, YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME!

Zoom: I srrsly doubt anyone's been killed by a corset. *Pulls*

Zen: AGH!

(XDDDD)

* * *

Tezz: In Soviet Russia, pants jizz in you! *Giggle* HAHAHA! Ugghhh! Ohh… um… *Shiver*

* * *

A.J.: OMIGOD, SHUT UP, I WILL SMACK YOU IN THE EYE WITH A BROOM!

* * *

Vert: You can be fat and jolly like my good friend Sherman over here, or you can be skinny and a bitch, JUST LIKE TEZZ!

* * *

Agura: *Looks at A.J. and Spinner* Ya know… seeing them as I couple, I find myself unable to identify who the man is in the relationship. Critical fail. *Slams head on desk and falls over to the floor*

* * *

Vert: I WANNA LISTEN TO CLAMS TAKIN' A PISS!

* * *

Zen: OMIGOSH, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE CAKE.

* * *

Stanford: FIVE FOOT SEVEN IIIINCH? Lucky…

* * *

A.J.: POKEMON! A heart so truuuuee!

All: POKEMOOONN!

Vert: GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!

* * *

Vert: CHINA, I CHOOSE YOU!

…

Vert: Great job guys! We caught 'em all!

* * *

A.J.: Tezz, Agura, Zoom and I are the only ones on the team that don't run like retards.

Agura: ^.^

Tezz: *Starts choking him* STOP MENTIONING ME!

A.J.: *Watches 'Better Off Red'* Now Tezz has joined the retarded side… *Shot in the face*

* * *

Anti-Tezz: Wow! It's been like, a long time ever since I got to like… ya' know… like, sleep with someone! *Crawls in Anti-A.J.'s bed*

Anti-A.J.: Yeah, shut up. *Turns*

Anti-Tezz: I mean, first… I was like, with the regular Tezz, and then he kicked me out. He reminds me of you! But then I went to the other normal's-

Anti-A.J.: *Starts strangling Anti-Tezz*

Anti-Tezz: *Gagging* AUGAGHCKKAUAGH!

Anti-A.J.: (In heavy French accent) TELL ME THAT YOU ARE DONE WITH THOSE IDIOTS RIGHT NOW OR I WILL KEEP CHOKING YOU!

* * *

Spinner: *Starts singing the Pokérap*

* * *

Sherman: *Does random stuff on an electric guitar like he doesn't know what he's doing* *Suddenly starts playing the Pokémon theme* XDD YEEAAAAAA!

All: O.O'

* * *

Tezz: *Takes epic pictures while he holds a gun and a light black jacket*

A.J.: *Plays 'I Can Do Anything' by 3Oh!3'*

Tezz: *Glares* Really?

…

Tezz: *Walks in the diner with the same clothing*

(Music starts again)

Tezz: *Looks at A.J. and shoots him in the chest*

* * *

Stanford: KISS MY ROYAL, BRITISH, PALE, BUTT, AMERICANS!

* * *

A.J: ACCENTS ROCK YO!

A.J., Stanford, and Tezz: *Drink vodka, eat crumpets, and dance on tables while also covering each other in maple syrup… WHILE NAKED! XD*

Stanford: *In thicker accent, and in tune to 'Tik Tok'* I'M MAD! REALLY BAD! BUT DON'T TELL MY MOM AND DAD! *Pushes a finger to A.J.'s lips* (Mum and dad)

Tezz: Pucker up, kiss my butt, cuz I'm bloody f*ckin nuts! *Kisses Stanford*

A.J.: Hear the bass,*Brings Stanford close to him and licks his neck* skinny waist,*Runs his hands down Tezz's waist* now let's copy 'Poker Face', *Covers himself in syrup* like,

All: *Start dirty dancing together* Woah, woa, oh, oh, WOAH, WOA, OH, OH! X333 *Drink from one bottle of vodka*

Vert: … Foreigners… *Rolls eyes*

* * *

Stanford: Buaghhh… Wha-? *Looks at a very sticky A.J. and Tezz in bed.* Not again!

A.J.: *Wakes up and snuggles in Tezz's chest*

Tezz: *Opens eyes and pushes A.J. off of him and takes the whole bed* KEKEKEKE!

* * *

Agura: *Singing to 'Did it on'em'*

Guys: O.O'

Agura: If I had a d*ck, I would pull it out an piss on 'em-

Zoom: She can piss on me…

All: O0O *Back away from Zoom*

* * *

Sherman: Tezz, you were out in the desert when the Splitwire couldn't stop, correct?

Tezz: *Nods*

Sherman: What were you doing out there?

* * *

Vert: Do I look okay?

Spinner: *Glares*

**INSPECTION**

* * *

Vert: (Doing prank calls) HONEY! HOW MANY LIQUID NITROGEN TANKS DO WE HAVE FOR THE SEMEN…?

Tezz: O.O (Only hearing him) I-Is this part of team examinations? *Runs away and locks door*

* * *

A.J.: *Pulls his pants up* Oh yes.

* * *

Agura: Ok… Sherman and Spinner, you're Hispanic, I'm black, Zoom, you're Asian… O-tay… out of the white guys…

Vert, A.J., Stanford and Tezz: O.O

Agura: Tezz… you're a nerd, then again, so is Sherman. Come on.

Tezz: YESSS!

Vert: *Gasps* HOW?

Agura: He has olive skin and he's Russian. Okay… Stanford and A.J., dace to 'White and Nerdy'.

Both: *Start dancing*

* * *

Me: *Reading the end of 'It Takes Two'.*

Vert: Are you, CRYING?

Me: NO! *Hits him in the stomach*

Spinner: I'M ALIVE!

Me: YAAAAYY! *Hugs him to death and starts crying again.*

* * *

A.J.: *Presses AC button after Agura to make it cooler*

(DING, DING, DING…)

Both: *Rush off*

Spinner: *Goes by the thermostat and looks* A.J. WINS!

* * *

**(SOON TO BE A SHORT!)**

Tezz: (Goes on about what to do at a Russian wedding) AND PLEASE… don't embarrass me! *Plays with his tie*

Younger Cousin: *Giggles and slips vodka in his drink and sneaks off*

All : -3- I can't wait to see this…

(2 hours later…)

Tezz: (Drunk) *Dancing with his 2nd cousin* LIKE, LOL MAN!

2nd Cousin: *Twitch*

Tezz's father: *Just stares*

* * *

Zen: *Glares at Zen Garden box on the table* …

* * *

Vert: (Nomming on cookies) *Checks the expiration date* 2009? ! FIRETRUCK! *Faints*

* * *

Vert: You're a Zen master at home Zoo-

Zoom: Wait… so I master Zen? As in the MINOR back at the temple? Ya' know, ur really perverted Vert… I'm outta here. Gotta go tell Zen I'm sorry for leaving him with my child… AND NO CHILD SUPPORT!

…

Zoom: *Bursts into Zen's bathroom*

Zen: (Taking a shower) *Screams*

Zoom: *Opens shower door* ZEN! I'm so sorry! *Snuggles into his stomach*

Zen: O.O'

* * *

Zoom and Vert: *Racing again*

Zoom: *Pulls ahead*

Vert: *Pulls ahead*

Zoom: *Pulls further and leans out when they cross the finish line*

Agura: The winner is… ZOOM! FOR ONCE, YOU'VE WON!

Zoom: REALLY? *Gets up and hits the Saber's glass* HAHA! YOU BLOND SON OF A B*TCH! I WON! F*CK YOU *SSHOLE! *Does victory lap*

Vert: OoO' All he did was win! God!

* * *

Zoom: YAAAY! FOR ONCE I DIDN'T GO IN A BATTLE ZONE!

* * *

A.J.: Takin' a shower1 Use that soap, gunna get real clean, cuz I'M SO AWESOME!

…

(4 others start singing the same thing)

A.J.: *Looks at Vert, Stanford, Zoom, and Spinner* Huh?

Vert: What? It's great acoustics in here! *Starts snapping*

* * *

Vert:*Hugs Krytus* YAAAAY!

Krytus: OxO

* * *

Agura: *Smacks Vert*

* * *

Vert: TWO THOUSAND WURDS Y'ALL!

Sage: O.o I'm so confused at this.


	33. Huh? Demon Toys?

**THE INSANITY OF VERT'S DREAMS…**

**THE SAGA CONTINUES…**

**Part 1: 'Don't touch the dream Journal!'**

**Part 2: Something else I forgot, TEEHEE!**

* * *

Vert looked over to his side. Zoom? In the hospital? He was the only one in here…

He looked to Zoom and waved a hand over his opened eyes. "Zoooom…?"

The Thai looked over, blinked and smiled. "Look." He pointed to a small box over in the corner. He peered over the side, and gasped.

Baby… Zoom… hospital… bed… baby… Zoom? BABY? !

"Whaaa…"

"Vert… I was pregnant…"

The blond's jaw dropped. "HOW? You're a guy!"

"Yeah, but… I don't know…! After Zen and I slept together, we-"

"WOAH, WOAH, WOAH… HOLD ON… You and Zen?"

He nodded. "Yeah! He's having a baby too."

They heard sudden screaming in another room down the hall. They seemed to be the only ones in the hospital…

Vert walked down the hall cautiously. Master Takeyasu was in scrubs, holding Zen's stomach as there were about three others in position for a person giving birth. From the looks of it, the teen was in a lot of pain too. He screamed again as the doctors told him to start various things. Master T. wiped the tears out of Zen's eyes.

Vert fled before he could see anything else, and blacked out.

* * *

Vert was now in his bed, but he felt… weird. His hips felt larger. His chest was heavier and there was something soft surrounding his head and face. He reached out and grabbed a handful of blonde hair. He gasped and looked down. Breasts? ! He sat up with soft pains in his waist. He cringed and looked into his pants.

Blood.

He panicked and hurried into Agura's room. "AGURA! I-I'M BLEEDING! I'M DYING!"

"No you're not! You're just on a period!"

* * *

He gasped as he transferred now into the Bunker where they found Tezz.

The blond looked around him to see something pink in the corner. "Love me!" He heard.

"Oh dear God…" He panted, backing away.

A pack of pink, yellow, and blue stuffed bears and dolls started towards him, chanting various commands as cutely as possible.

"Love us!"

"Give us hugs!"

"I love you…!"

Vert looked over as A.J. was dressed in a German uniform. Light greens dazed his vision as he was wrapped up and tied to a metal beam in bubble wrap. "WHAT'S GOING ON? !" He cried.

"It's your dream silly!" Tezz giggled as he came out of nowhere.

Vert cringed as he grasped A.J.'s hands and started to dance. They spun around in a circle for a while until they pulled close.

Vert wanted to laugh at the fact that ten Russian was in a light pink and white frilly dress with a red bow in his hair, but he was panicking as well.

"I LOVE YOU!" A bear startled him, making him yelp.

The demon toys started to crawl up over him and cover his vision.

"Ah! DEMON TOYS! HEEEEELP!"

* * *

Vert was walking with Stanford in a long regular hallway. He sighed as they got to the elevator and pressed an odd looking button with an 'I' over the top. They waited and suddenly, epic music started playing. Vert screamed as he and the Brit were dragged over to the wall and flipped all over.

"IS THIS INCEPTION? !" He asked over the music.

"YEAAA!" Stanford cheered and flaoted up to the ceiling.

* * *

Vert could feel the heavy chain-mail clanking against his sword as he, Spinner, and Sherman raced through a forest.

Sherman gasped, his fake white Dumbledore beard falling down his chest until he re-secured it. "LOOK!"

"That be thy holy castle with the fair maiden?" Spinner asked in his ninja turtle outfit.

Vert nodded. "Yeah… Agura's locked in there, and I suppose it's up to me to save her!" He grabbed a vine and started clawing his way up the stone.

"DON'T WORRY VERT! FOR I HAVE COME ACROSS, A CROSS-BOW!" Spinner yelled and took aim for Vert's back.

"Agh!" He cried with agony as the arrow was dug into his spine.

He was shot again. "STOP FIRING ARROWS!" He demanded and got up again.

…

He gasped as another one got in his 'backside'. "AH GOD!" He cried and fell.

* * *

He was now in an all white room. He whimpered as he saw Stanford and Zoom walk in. They were wearing the same outfits from Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance' video, and they stopped in front of him. Vert was chained down to a post while the two started dancing to music coming out of nowhere.

The two sung and danced together. Vert was disturbed beyond compare.

* * *

"VERT! WAKE UP!" Tezz shook him angrily.

"Huh? Demon toys?" the blond woozily asked.

The Russian twitched and shook his head. "Demon to-NO! C'mon I have to get married!" He cried and jumped into A.J.'s arms.

Vert screamed as he witnessed his best friend kiss his(A.J.'s) enemy like an animal with teeth, tongue, and trails of saliva.

Vert pinched himself harshly.

* * *

"AGHHH!" The blond cried. He panted as he turned over. "Ugh! There were six levels there, damn!" He said as he crawled out of bed. As he washed his face in the sink he couldn't help but look in the mirror at his new body.

"KRYTUS?"

* * *

"What is wro-"

* * *

"SERRIOUSLY-? !"

* * *

"GOD DA-!"

* * *

"WHAA!" He breathed heavily and flopped back down. "Forget it…"


	34. Pain

Randomly, I saw the new pics for 'Rumble in the Jungle' and I wanted to cry… and I started thinking of this…

**THIS IS BEFORE I SAW THE EPISODE, I DID NOT CHEAT.

* * *

Battle Force 5 all turned heads as a loud boom echoed out through the jungle of Vandal. Debris rained from the sky as a lump formed in Tezz's throat. Vert looked as the injured Russian slowly limped down to the battle grounds. They set the bomb for three minutes…

Dark soot covered his cheeks and stained his suit as fresh blood escaped from his side. His bright brown eyes were bloodshot of the sand and dirt in them, his mouth drooling crimson every few seconds down his half exposed chest. "Tromp?" He silently asked to himself, stepping over some machinery.

The team followed in confusion and concern. Tezz whimpered as he pushed over a few Red Sark bits and ran slowly down to one spot. More Kharamanos were slowly regaining their strength, and started to surround their leader.

Vert stopped and held everyone back from the scene. Tezz painfully tried to push a vehicle off of the small scientist. "Help…" He whimpered and gazed up to his frozen team. They all just stood in awe at the sight. "HELP!" He ordered in a rough voice. "NOW!"

A.J. stood up after around five seconds of waiting and helped Tezz push over the side of the cars. Sherman got on the other side and carefully pulled it over towards him.

Tezz delicately took Tromp's abused body and took him into his lap. "Tromp, i-it's gunna be okay…" He whispered, speaking back and forth between English, Russian, and Sentient. He murmured other things to the badly scarred Kharamano leader. Tromp was only half conscious and barely talking back to Tezz.

"Too… badly… hurt…" He whimpered. Tezz planted a kiss on his friend's cheek and let the tears fall. He pulled him close. Vert knelt down and placed a hand comfortingly on Tezz's shoulder.

"Vert don't touch him." Agura warned. "When people like Tezz get upset, they just wanna be left alone."

The blond backed away and turned.

Tezz continued sobbing for quite a while. Tromp slowly regained his consciousness and was carried down to the Splitwire. He never knew that bomb was still in his range… It was even worse for him knowing that he was the one to set it off. Tromp laid in the passenger side of the vehicle as Tezz hurried off without another word back home, the rest reluctantly following.

* * *

"Oh my…" Sage murmured as she saw Tezz carry in the nearly dead being. "Please help him…" The Russian pleaded, wiping his tears on his sleeve.

Sage quickly hooked Tromp up to a machine and various I.V.'s. Tezz held the metallic, cold hand across from him.

Sage ran a few tests, all turning out terrible. She looked down and shook her head. "Tezz… I-I'm sorry. Tromp, won't make it through in his condition." The Russian didn't want to believe it. This was all just a bad nightmare, and he'd wake up next to his friend as they brought him back and took care of him for a while… right? Tezz felt a tear drop onto his arm and knew this was too real. "How much longer?" He asked, his voice breaking.

Sage hated seeing someone so plain as Tezz cry, especially since he was in the battling-business. It was painful and hurtful. "It will be not too long until the radiations and flares as well was chemicals decompose of his body from the inside out." She quietly left the room to warn the others about Tromp and how they should all stay away from Tezz and not talk around him for a while.

Tezz gently took Tromp's hand and blinked though his watery eyes. "Tromp… I'm sorry, this is all my fault, I should have stayed behind and helped you out! It's all my fault!"

"No…" He replied weakly. "Don't blame yourself…" He said gently nuzzling into Tezz's hand. He slowly wiped his friend's tears off his cheeks and leaned up to kiss Tezz on his forehead. The two remained that way for a while until Tezz finally wrapped his arms around the alien and sobbed his hardest. Tromp did the same and occasionally wiped the tears away. His glass covering/dome was taken off so it gave them both easier access.

"I just don't know what my people will do without me…" Tezz's eyes widened as Tromp pulled away. "Tezz, please… PLEASE take my place and lead my people out of harm's way. I have trusted in you for so long, and you have done so much for me. I think it's time a return the favor."

"But… how will they take to me?"

Tromp gave off a warm smile. "They have known you and what you have done for the longest of time. We were all saved by you and Vert. And Vert said you deserved all the gratitude as well, didn't he?" He shed a small smile.

Tezz painfully separated from his friend and was handed a small staff used by him. "Use this. Show them this and they shall know what happened." Tezz sighed and cleaned himself up with a few tissues before greatly accepting it and kissing Tromp in return as they did on his home planet. "Tromp… you've changed me… Before we met, I was stubborn and mean I suppose. But… you… meeting you, has changed my life…" He reached into the neck of his Shocksuit and unhooked a chain form his neck. "Take this." He gently laid the necklace into the metallic hands parallel to him. "Take this to your grave. I'll never forget that necklace I was given the day I was born, and I'll never forget you."

Tromp felt the tears start to flow down his cheeks as well. "I love you Tezz." He murmured and pulled the human into another tight embrace. Tezz smiled for once in the past month. "I love you too Tromp." And he really did mean it.

"Promise to never forget me." He heard the former slave suggest. Tezz nodded. "Of course."

It wasn't long until Tromp's pants started increasing. "Tezz…" He whimpered. The Russian looked back and panicked. "Oh no no NO NO! Tromp! D-Don't leave me!" He cried, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Tromp coughed painfully and took Tezz's hand. "It's okay… it happens to all of us, right?" He smirked and hugged Tezz one more time. "I love you Tezz. Take care of my people, and never forget our friendship, okay?"

"Never…" Tezz nodded. "I love you." He reminded. Tromp smiled. "I love you too Tezz." The Russian took Tromp's hands until he flat-lined, making him choke on his own tears bitterly. He leaned over the side of the bed and cried. He just cried. He couldn't stop. He just lost one of the few people who would actually say that they cared and loved him.

The rest of the team entered silently, not wanting to bother their teammate.

"I'm so sorry Tezz." Vert spoke to break the silence. Tezz coughed and wiped his eyes before getting up and walking out to the Splitwire.

"Where's he going?" Zoom asked.

They all shrugged. "Tezz!" Sherman called.

Their teammate turned, a tough yet determined expression on his face like the day they met him.

It gave them enough time to hurry over to the vehicle. "Where are you going?" Agura demanded to know.

Tezz looked to the staff in his hand and knew what exactly he needed, and WANTED to do. "I'm leaving Battle Force 5."

"WHAT?" They all asked in unison, except for Stanford. He was a little glad that he would get in more Battle Zones now. Tezz nodded. "Tromp has asked me to lead his people and I can't decline. He meant the world to me, now I'm off to protect his world."

"But what about the Multiverse?" Spinner asked.

Tezz gave him a glare. "Honestly, I would rather do a little thing for Tromp than help save everyone else." He jumped out of his vehicle and ran upstairs to pack clothes and his drawing books and other items.

"Dude, you can't just leave!" A.J. pointed out. Tezz shook his head. "Yes I can, and I will." He took about three bags full of… stuff down and packed them in the back of the Splitwire, getting asked several questions.

Before he climbed back in, he stood in front of Vert before tightly wrapping his arms around his shorter leader. "Though I do have to thank you all for saving me." He murmured. Agura embraced him as well as he and Vert parted. She kissed his cheek before he side-hugged Zoom and fully embraced Sherman. "I think I'm gunna miss you most of all." He whispered. Sherman chuckled. "You too." A.J. ran over and hugged the Russian. "I LOVE YA' TOO DUDE! I'M GUNNA MISS YOU SO HARD!" Tezz gasped for air as he slowly wrapped his arms around the Canadian as well.

Tezz caught his breath before turning to Stanford. They stared at each other before Stanford walked to him and gently hugged his friend. "I will miss you some." The Brit informed. Tezz smiled and patted his back. "You too…" He tore away from the team and got a last embrace from Sage. He was REALLY going to miss her. Tezz walked out to the Splitwire and looked back. "Remember when I said you all are like family to me the first day I met you?" He smiled. "I was telling the truth."

With that, Tezz turned back and drove off down the desert, using the staff to open a portal and disappearing through it.

* * *

About five years later, Tezz was going through a large area with his other Kharamano friends that were in tight relations with Tromp before he passed. He was enjoying all the praise and love he got from everyone in the past years. He bonded really well with the people and knew everyone by name. The first day he told them the news that he was to be the new leader, they dressed him in elaborate clothing and celebrated, yet mourned over their loss.

Cities expanded, and now that no one had to worry about the Vandals or other hunters, let's just say there were a lot more Kharamano babies running around. Tezz managed to 'adopt' a few since he was just a human surrounded by a few million Kharamanos. He couldn't have children, so he figured, why not take in a few to take over as ruler when he died?

One afternoon, a portal opened. Guards protected everyone as the beings jumped through. Tezz recognized those vehicles anywhere. "Ah…" He said aloud and walked up to the Saber. "Vert?"

The much older blond jumped out and smiled as he examined the place. "Well, looks like you've done a good job at cleaning, now let's see how you managed to control everyone." He joked and hugged the Russian.

Agura got out of the Tangler, still as gorgeous as ever, and joined them. Tezz got another hug and noticed everyone else get out to greet him. He was amazed at Spinner. "WOW, you've gotten taller…" He gaped at the six foot tall man that used to be a leprechaun. He cut his hair shorter and had put it down, barely touching his shoulders. Spinner laughed. "I guess you could say that." Tezz blinked at his voice. "Your balls finally dropped didn't they?" He laughed and wrapped an arm around the Cortez. Sherman was still the same. Zoom had on flattering (for a guy) glasses on and was taller as well. His voice had changed too. Stanford also had glasses that made him seem older, and got his Shocksuit changed to a lighter purple.

A.J.… was amazing. He was taller, a little skinnier, had curls, and those same light blue eyes. He seemed less hyper as well. "A.J.?" Tezz asked. The Canadian nodded and put a hand out. Tezz ignored it and embraced his new best friend fully. "Y-You've changed…"

"I know." His deeper voice replied. "Nice clothes."

He looked down to the puffy Aladdin pants and his shirt before laughing. "Yeah… It's nice and roomy though! So tell me… why are you all here?"

Vert stepped forward with pride and smiled widely. "The war is over. You can come back with us and see you family!"

"But…" Three little ones, two boys and a girl, clung to his legs. "I have a family. Here. And I can't just leave my people!"

They all looked to the children and back to Tezz. Vert nodded. "Alright. But hey, don't lose memory of BF5 or your other family back in Moscow, kay?"

Tezz nodded and kissed his daughter's forehead before getting a few transportation devices and waving his team goodbye.


	35. BEST, VAYCAY, EVAR!

**Kerstin belongs to Lolin' Girl**

**And in one part, it is rated a light M.**

**:3**

* * *

Agura sat off to the side on her break as she watched the boys talk, nearly drooling at the shirtless teenagers. Who knew Spinner was muscular? Who knew Tezz had a killer tan? Who knew Sherman was as buff as he looked?

Kerstin sighed and sunk down in her chair. "Tezz looks so hot."

Grace blinked and giggled. "Yeah, Zoom doesn't look too bad either."

"I could imagine them all playing football." Agura murmured loud enough for them to hear.

The two ladies looked down in confusion to the giggling huntress. She gave them a wink and smiled. "I mean I could see them all playing football, MY WAY. All naked and covered in oil, wrestling over a greasy ball…" The two others laughed, grabbing the attention of the team.

Meanwhile, the guys turned back to the bar in the center of the private pool they were in. "Anyways…" Stanford laughed.

"So who's getting' Grace?" Spinner started, making everyone but Zoom and Stanford swim back to the side where the ladies where. "Herro." A.J. greeted.

Agura smiled and walked to the edge, where she put her legs in the water. Grace followed, shrugging.

Vert told her to put her drink down. "Why?" She asked in return. "Trust me…" He replied, waiting for her to put it down before he pulled her in completely and got underneath her, placing her on his shoulders. She was shocked, and amazed. "C'mon Kerstin! Grace, pick a guy, and get in here, we're plain' chicken against your wills!"

Grace took A.J.'s hand while Kerstin jumped in. They all got to the centered area of the pool to avoid anyone hitting their head on the side and went over the rules. "Okay, I want a clean chicken fight. Pushing is optional. The guys can harm ONLY the other guys. If you all off or over, you're both out." Sherman explained. "And we're gunna try to… 'HELP' you all. GO!"

Agura locked hands with Grace, both giggling before Kerstin pushed Grace. The guys were all having their own battle down under and got A.J. down, causing Grace to topple over as well. Spinner went under the water and pushed Vert's shorts down, making him yelp. "OH SHHHHH-!" He cried and pulled them back up quickly. Kerstin pushed Agura over while Vert was down, leaving her and Tezz as the winners. "OH YEA!" She cried and kissed Tezz's forehead.

"That's a very awkward position!" Zoom laughed from afar. For laughs, Kerstin grinded her hips while still on Tezz, making him push her over and into the water. "I think you've had too much to drink!"

She giggled and wrapped her legs around his waist, having him hold her close. "You just wanna feel my boobs." She concluded, and squealed as she felt his hand locate the front of her bikini. "Tezzy!"

He laughed, actually wanting to see her with her top off.

Vert swam over with Agura to the bar alone. "So you like it here?"

She nodded and kissed his nose. "Yeah… I love you." She admitted, pressing her forehead to his. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. She sighed and gently pressed her lips to his. They were both a little drunk, but they didn't know exactly what they were doing. In fact, everyone was a little tipsy.

Zoom and Stanford were flirting with a hazy Grace, Sherman, Spinner, and A.J. were all fooling around, Vert and Agura were kissing, and Tezz and Kerstin were making out and doing suggestive things on one side of the pool while giggling as well. And talking.

Vert pulled away and looked down to his half full margarita and to her empty cocktail glass. She leaned on Vert's chest and gasped. "Ya' know what we should do…?" He looked down with confusion. "What?"

"Let's go down to the waterfalls! Ya' know, get a few drinks in our system and goof off! C'mon…" She dragged him back into the water and got him to reluctantly follow her out of the gates and onto a cement path.

Grace was pampered by Zoom with drinks and talked to with Stanford. "So Grace, you like it here?" Zoom asked, a hand trailing to her shoulder. She nodded. "Yeah! We should all… like, do this stuff more often!" She slurred, leaning on the Scout.

Zoom giggled as Stanford narrowed his eyes.

Kerstin placed a kiss on Tezz's neck before taking another sip of her drink and got a lick on the cheek in return. "This is fun!" She giggled, a little out of character because of the alcohol. Tezz was also acting more fun than his usual self. He wasn't over to the side, fully dressed working on something while the others had fun. He dragged her out to the deeper end and took her under for a minute. He returned back up and laughed. "I have an idea! I-I saw this cool show once… and it was like, the top 20 somethin'. I dunno. So you and I kiss underwater for as long as we can! Hoakay?" He asked.

Kerstin nodded and grabbed onto his neck before they both took in a deep breath and went under.

"WHOO!" A.J. cheered them on from the surface. Grace gasped and grabbed Zoom by the shoulders. "WE SHOULD DO THAT… C'mon Zoom!" She took him near the other two and they started the contest as well. Sherman turned to Spinner and laughed. Spinner however, was still drunk, but shook his head. Sherman chuckled in agreement and looked to A.J.. The Canadian shrugged, nearly dead drunk. He grabbed the Cortez and dumped him in the water before pushing his lips to Sherman's.

The two above giggled and watched the others. About a minute later, Kerstin ran out of air and returned up, gasping and latching onto Tezz. "That water get's cold, doesn't it?" He teased as she pushed her chest to his. The German slapped his arm playfully and was carried over to the closer end of the pool to get out. Zoom and Grace were still under while Sherman thrashed around some. A.J. held him under further. Finally, Grace parted from him and took in air while turning to Sherman and A.J.. "WOW." The two boys were down for another two minutes before A.J. brought Sherman back up and kissed him again deeply, getting a few whistles.

Spinner giggled and patted his brother on the back.

"Kerstin!" Zoom called. The Russian and German turned. "Were are you two going?" Zoom shouted.

She wrapped an arm around Tezz's waist. "Back to the hotel room! Don't bother us for the next five hours, okay?" With a few giggles and whispering, the two walked out of the gate and made their way back to their fancy rooms on the elaborate island. Zoom turned to Grace and smiled. "Wanna go down to the beach and chill?"

"Sure." She replied, leaving Sherman, A.J., Spinner, and Stanford. "What now?" A.J. asked. Spinner smirked, coming up with an idea.

* * *

Agura snickered to herself as she and Vert hung out near a beautiful waterfall. "So what happened when we were on the positive side of the world?" She asked. Vert smiled back and kissed her cheek before replying. "Well, Krytus and I had to go through the Shadow Zone together and we rarely had any conflict between each other. He's a pretty good teammate for someone who's bad."

She kissed him back. "I love you." She cooed and warmly splashed some water on him. The blond flinched away and splashed some on her. They both laughed it off and leaned back down peacefully. "I'm so glad we finally got some free time to go somewhere like this…" He muttered.

* * *

Tezz pushed Kerstin down on their bed before stripping out of his black swimsuit. She purred as she reached to her back to undo her bikini top. He crawled on her and reached down to her bottom piece, slowly peeling it off.

Kerstin pulled him into a kiss and shifted her legs around him before parting. She slipped over and was abruptly grabbed.

He growled and pulled her into his lap. "Oh no missy." He started. "You're not getting away so easily."

Kerstin snickered as he ran his hands over her breasts. He felt her over and over again, wanting her more than ever. Kerstin rolled her hips over his, making him groan of the friction between their heated bodies. They continued kissing for a while before he took a chance and held her down on the bed again.

She shivered as he smoothly and gently rubbed himself on her inner thigh and nibbled on her neck. "C'mon Tezz, quit being such a teasing bastard!" She hissed.

He laughed off the order.

* * *

Back at the pool, Spinner was on A.J.'s shoulders and Stanford was on Sherman's. They both started to battle it out in a second game of chicken. Spinner pushed Stanford and caused him to fall over, A.J. then shoved Sherman over.

"BEST. VACATION. EVER!" Spinner shouted.


	36. BUNDLE 2

**ANIMAL FORCE 5!**

"Not again…" Vert groaned. "AN ANT? REALLY?"

The room was filled with an ant, a Komodo dragon, a black bear, a squirrel, a white-tailed deer, a jaguar, a panda, and a small, yet adorable, golden tabby tiger.

Zoom flicked his tongue out, which startled Spinner to death. "AGH! Watch were you stick that thing!" He flicked his own tail and prowled out the room for something to eat.

Agura sat down on the slippery floor and scooted next to Tezz. "You won't eat me, will you?"

He growled and looked over at Stanford. "I dunno. Stanford might find you to be a snack…" He showed her his claws, her instincts kicking in as she moved away and trotted to Sherman. "Sherman, I KNOW you won't eat me. But a tiger and a jaguar? They will…"

A.J. moved to Sherman. "BEARS! OH YEAH!" He playfully pushed the Cortez over as best he could. "Okay… panda… getting tired… I want something to eat now… how about pizza?"

"NO." Vert said blankly, moving over to Sage. "Pick me up please?"

She took the small insect on her finger and showed the team it. Zoom flicked his tongue around, which made everyone gag. "Ughh! ZOOM! Do that outside!" A.J. laughed.

Vert: Ant

Agura: Deer

Zoom: Dragon

Sherman: Bear

Stanford: Tiger

A.J.: Panda

Spinner: Squirrel

Tezz: Jaguar

* * *

_**Flare up and burn it down,  
from corner to corner with that hellfire,  
don't leave a single trace,  
burn down even their souls…**_

BF5 gathered around the campfire that night. Zoom looked up and smirked as he gazed into the fire. "Everyone take hands." He ordered and reached out. He nodded towards Tezz and Spinner. The two had come up with the perfect plan to scare everyone.

"Meramera to, yaki tsukuse  
sumi kara sumi made sono gouka de  
atokata mo nokoranu you ni  
tamashii made mo yaki tsukuse." Zoom started with his native language along with a little Japanese. Vert glared at him, a little frightened.

The Thai started again, a wide, creepy smirk spreading across his face.

"Zoom, stop you're scarring me…" Stanford started. The scout continued on, swaying some with the rhythm.

"Meramera to, yaki tsukuse  
ware no yobikake ni, kotae ima  
orokanaru monodomo wo  
guren no honoo de yaki tsukuse."

The silence was broken as Tezz joined him in the regular talking part.

"Santra ba dra winza na wonpa to rana intrakantera. Santra ba dra winza na wonpa to rana intrakantera."

The two stared to each other and began singing the next bit.

"Meramera to, yaki tsukuse  
sumi kara sumi made sono gouka de  
atokata mo nokoranu you ni  
tamashii made mo yaki tsukuse."

Agura backed away some as the fire burned brighter. Sherman just stared as Spinner absentmindedly added in his saying.

"Mitero yo…!  
Ore no osoroshi sa wo omoishiraseru tame ni zenryoku de norotte yaru!  
Haruka naru chi yori shoukan suru! Saa, ideyo!"

The three gazed deeply at each other, then back to the fire, like they were hypnotized.

"Meramera to, yaki tsukuse  
ware no yobikake ni, kotae ima  
orokanaru monodomo wo  
guren no honoo de yaki tsukuse." They finished with Zoom erupting in a demonic laugh.

Vert backed up some. "O-ka-hay-hay…! No more stories."

* * *

**Another Way to Get High**

Vert sucked the helium out of one of the balloons in the room for Zeke's birthday.

He started talking and immediately got laughs and giggles. "I sound awesome." He chuckled in his mouse voice.

Stanford took a balloon and started sucking. "It-ehhh… It doesn't want to come out!"

"BWAHAHAHAA!" Zoom let out and covered his mouth.

Agura sucked some in also. "Hey Vert let's try to have a conversation like this!"

Vert took in a deep breath before he started. "I'll start. So how was your day today?"

* * *

**Hallucinations R FUN!**

"Guys, I SWEAR, I saw a few Sark!" Vert said stubbornly.

Spinner yawned as he walked into the room and rubbed his eyes. "Vert, I'm tired. It's like… three in the morning." He complained.

The blond rolled his eyes and looked to Agura, who was in a brown and tan slip with black lace at the top and bottom borders. "Vert, I want to believe you, but right now, I'm about to fall over." Sherman extended a hand and helped her some as she started to lean towards him.

"I find it hard to hear that a SARK was on Earth without Sage being notified somehow." Tezz folded his arms over his bare chest. "And I'm in my boxers, can I please leave now?"

Stanford leaned his head on Sir Fluffalot and sighed. "Can I go too?"

"No." Vert replied simply. "Stan, you stay. Tezz, I know what I saw."

The Russian scowled, not wanting to seem wrong. "Dreams are reflected on what you have seen in your life." Agura nodded. "Yeah, and we fought Zemerick for the past few days."

"Once I had a dream that I woke up and looked outside and I saw Santa waving from the trees on Christmas Eve." Zoom muttered, half-asleep. "And Zen had a dream that he was in a video store and was just hugging me while a sad song was playing in the background."

"I had one once where Sherm was blind and playing the cello randomly." Spinner announced. Suddenly, Stanford chimed in. "I had a dream where Simon and I were out in the pasture with a chocolate waterfall. It was gooood." Tezz yawned loudly and scratched his neck before adding in his experience. "I had a pleasant dream where we all went to my home in Moscow and ate, then we all set off fireworks and I think… Spinner got hit in the chest with one. So we went to the hospital and he had a heart attack or something. It was a great dream…" He sighed.

Sherman turned to the group. "I once had a dream where Spin and I went to this small town and a bunch of zombies were chasing us… then we all broke out into Thriller and started dancing uncontrollably."

They all stopped and stared at the young Cortez.

"See?" Agura asked back to her leader.

Vert huffed. "Fine, everyone, go back to bed." He said as they all trudged off. "I know what I saw…" He murmured to himself.

* * *

**Tezz is Terrible at Being a Spy…**

Tezz had to disguise himself. He couldn't let ANYONE know who he was. Thankfully he wandered into a French restaurant in Canada… right near A.J.'s hometown. He dyed his hair a light shade of brown and swept it back with the help of Spinner's hair gel, he even applied make-up. His cloak-like jacket went down to his ankles, the tan, heavy fabric tied at the waist with a sash and completed with dark black boots and a matching black beret and glasses.

His waiter silently took his order and twirled around to the lifeless kitchen.

Tezz gasped and sunk down in his chair. _'Dear Lord, IT'S A.J.!'_

A.J. was back quickly with soup. "Zis is nice, _monsieur_?" The Canadian asked in a heavy French accent.

"Uh… yes… Merci." The Russian replied, covering his usual thick accent as best he could. A.J. narrowed his eyes as he cleared off a table.

Tezz slowly sipped his soup and used his bread to soak up some of it before continuing to eat. A.J. walked back over. _'Ah ha… I got you now…'_

"Pardon… but would you happen to be, Tezz?" He took off his teammate's beret and glasses with a smirk.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW? !"

_NOTE: Sometimes, Russian's typically use bread to soak up juices and other liquids in a meal, except for water of course._

* * *

**FUN WITH COLORS! ;3**

SHOCKSUIT COLORS:

Vert: Blue (Sherman)

Zoom: Blue (Spinner)

Sherman: Green (Agura)

Spinner: Yellow (Zoom)

Agura: Red (Vert)

Stanford: White (A.J.)

A.J.: Copper/Silver (Tezz. XD)

Tezz: Purple (Stanford)

Agura walked downstairs to the garage where the rest of her team was.

"Morning boys! Since I am your leader now, you can all go ahead and skip training for today because we have to learn our new vehicles!"

Tezz groaned, because he knew A.J. was overenthusiastic already, but now he was in his VEHICLE.

"Oh this should be fun…" Zoom said gazing up at the Buster.

"VERY FUN…" Spinner smiled widely and got his helmet on.

"Don't you wreck it! If you do, YOU REPAIR IT!" The Scout ordered before climbing in the tank.

Stanford climbed up to the GearSlammer and hopped in. It was a little big, but he would survive.

Agura gratefully got in the Saber and took note of all of the controls. (You could guess that Vert blushed when he found out that Agura got red.)

A.J. watched the Splitwire's door open like it was the car in Back to the Future… sortta.

"Tezz! You like 'Back to the Future? !'"

The Russian rolled his eyes at the dry joke and jumped in the Reverb.

The Canadian slid himself in and looked at everything. So many buttons… so many gears… SO MUCH SCIENCE!

He closed the door.

Tezz pulled up to him and switched to Channel 13. "You burn out my gearbox, or do ANYTHING to flat line that car, and I WILL FIND YOU. Don't play around with me and think I won't A.J." Tezz warned.

"Oh chillax! I know better! Especially that time when Vert and I got our four-wheelers stuck in the snow at my pare-"

"PLEASE! A.J.! THIS IS NO TIME FOR STORIES! And I swear if you do anything to hurt my baby-"

"I thought you said inanimate objects couldn't scientifically be named like 'baby'." A.J. smirked.

Silence.

"Bottom line: you break anything, you fix it. Just like Zoom said. Got it?"

"Yeah yeah." A.J. rolled his eyes with ease of not being caught in the darkly-tinted windows.

The Reverb pulled out of the garage and onto the test track with the others.

A.J. sneered while he followed. "Overly-protective much Tezz?"

…

Agura stepped out of the Saber. "How does everyone feel?"

They all replied in unison: "Good."

Agura giggled. "Awesome. Tangler and Chopper first. RACE."

The two vehicles pulled up to the starting line. "Oh this should be FUN." Spinner said glaring at his brother.

"GO!" Agura yelled as the two took off.

As the two raced, Agura turned back to her team. "Meanwhile, you all can practice your other person skills. Since I am now Vert, I have to be like Vert!"

"HUZAH FOR PICKLES!" Vert yelled into the air.

"HECK YEAH!" Sherman said over the Com-unit in the suits.

"Yay for goofing off and video games AND NO DIET BECAUSE NOW I DON'T HAVE TO WATCH MY FIGURE!" Zoom announced and ran back inside for some ice cream.

"I guess Tezz can remain the same, because Stanford is pretty arrogant too." Agura snickered.

"HEY!" The Brit called out.

Tezz shook his head.

"Now that I'm Tezz, I can be the emo one! Quickly! Someone get me a poetry book, a knife, and hair dye!"

The Russian growled. "I'm not emo! I don't cut myself, and I hate poetry! IT'S BORING!"

A.J. sniffled. "It's because you're Stanford now isn't it?"

Tezz huffed and walked to Agura. "Hi…" He smiled.

She ruffled his bangs. "It's okay emo kid. It'll be alright."

"…"

* * *

**The Delicious Tomato Song**

"Hey Spinner, what're you doing?" Zoom asked as he and Vert entered the kitchen after an individual meeting.

The Cortez smirked. "I'm gunna sing the delicious tomato song." He got out a few pots and pans as well as some ingredients and he hummed the beat.

"Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato  
Buono buono ooh Tomato!  
Aka agete midori sagete toma- toma- tomato Hn!"

The two were swept off to sit in a seat on the island of the kitchen smoothly. Vert laughed some as Spinner petted Zoom's head warmly.

"Pasta ni wa tomato daro  
Pizza ni mo tomato daro  
Miwaku no akai tesoro tomato daisuki  
Demo~!  
Wurst ya jagai mo nanka jadou da  
Otouto mo tabedashite muki- muki- muki- mu  
Napolitan wa nihon ryouri nanda kono yaro!

Hyaaaa! France da! Mamore! Kon chikushou me! Hitori ni suru na yo kono yaro!"

The Cortez was already copping a few things as Sherman was standing in the doorway, staring awkwardly as his brother sang to himself.

He stood over the stove as some water boiled. He tossed some sticks of pasta in and turned as he got out a cutting board.

"Kimi ni mo hitotsu ageru kireina no wo hitotsu ageru  
Oishii tomato tabete boku to odorou  
(Amore!)  
Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato  
Buono buono ooh! Tomato!  
Chi vediamo a romano  
Minami Itaria."

He started cutting up a few tomatoes and herbs. As soon as those were done, he tossed them in a blender and mixed them all together, gathering ground meat.

"Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato  
Buono buono ooh! Tomato!  
Aka sagete midori agete toma- toma- tomato Hn!"

He then stirred his pasta and got out another pan for cooking the meat in, still obsessed with Zoom's head.

He gently stroked it and took off his headband, placing it on his own head. "Hey!" Zoom called, feeling his hair.

Spinner put up a finger to silence the scout.

"Supein ga motte kita Amerika kara motte kita  
Taiyou no kuni no tesoro tomato daisuki  
Demo~!  
Ai wa katarebai itte mon janai zo  
Wain katate ni itsumo gira- gira- gira- gi  
Sakki kawaii ko ni mushi sareta zo kono yaro!  
HYAAAAAAA! Chikushou! Itsumo ore bakkari nerai agatte!"

By now, Agura and Stanford were gathered in another doorway, watching with shock as Spinner twirled Vert's hair while waiting for the pasta to be done.

"Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato  
Buono buono ooh! Tomato!  
Chichukai mo o sore mio  
Minami Itaria."

A.J. and Tezz peered in the room, eyes wide as Spinner weaved around to Vert and warmly kissed his neck. The blond shuddered and moved away some. Agura was seated as well while Spinner sang to her.

Zoom still wanted his headband back, Sherman was muttering some of the lyrics under his breath, A.J. laughed as he was toyed with, Stanford twitched while Spinner twirled around him happily, and Tezz yelped as he was dragged out to the island and danced with against his wishes to even touch the pasta he was making.

"Kaji wa anmari kyou janai kedo  
Otouto no ga e ya boueki tokui dakeredo  
Tama ni tori ni made baka ni sareru kedo…  
Ore datte...! Ore datte...! CHIGIIIIIIII-!"

He giggled as they all looked at each other. Sherman was giggling off to the side, wondering where his camera was. Tezz blinked while Agura and Stanford caught him as he was pushed into their laps.  
He blushed and got off of Agura quickly before moving in the back.

"Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato  
Buono buono ooh! Tomato!

Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato  
Buono buono uu! Tomato!

Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato  
Buono buono ooh! Tomato!

Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato  
Buono buono ooh! Tomato!

Uno, Due, Tre, dai!"

He brought the hot pot over and strained out the pasta in the sink before he got out eight plates and gently poured a perfect equal amount for each one, still singing.

Vert was tossed a plate, one was slid to Zoom, and Spinner handed out the rest, Tezz a little scared to touch it.

"Kimi ni mo hitotsu ageru kireina no wo hitotsu ageru  
Oishii tomato tabete boku to odorou  
(Amore!)  
Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato  
Buono buono ooh! Tomato!  
Chi vediamo a romano  
Minami Itaria~!"

He poured some sauce on everyone's dinner and sprinkled meat on top as well as a few seasonings.

Sighing, Spinner sat down and flicked his tongue to Zoom while handing him his band back. Zoom snatched it and swiftly tied it around his forehead, folding his arms and pouting cutely.

"This is good." Agura commented.

They all immediately dug into their food. "Singing makes things better." Spinner noted.

* * *

"**Welcome to jizz-burger, home of the jizz-burger, CAN I TAKE YA' ORDER?"**

"This is GROSS, Tezz." Vert said as he stirred a mysterious white liquid into the mayonnaise bottle. "I had to do what I had to do…" The Russian sighed and placed the lid back on the top. He then took the sandwich made while the liquid was getting made… and spread the concoction on one slice of bread.

They all snickered silently as Tezz pulled away and cut the sandwich in two. One for Agura, one for Stanford. Sherman was already recording.

"This is sooo nasty…" A.J. giggled. Tezz moved over to the side and whistled upstairs. "AGURAAA~!" He sang.

The rest got into their positions afterwards as she came down. "Yeah?"

He slid the plate towards her. Agura smiled suspiciously. "What're you up to Tezz…?"

"Oh nothing much! I just wanted to make you lunch. Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are Sundays through Saturdays?" He grinned and guided her to a chair.

She blushed some, giggling like an idiot. "Aww! That's so sweet! Why don't you eat this other piece with me…?"

"Oh nooo! I'd rather not. I've already eaten and I-ahh…" He started, suddenly noticing her toying with her bra strap. She was showing off some major cleavage that she knew Tezz had wanted for the past month or two. He sat down quickly. She smirked and moved her shirt back up before he could get grabby. She took her half and he slowly took his. "Tezz, you try yours first."

He whimpered. "Oh, nonononono! You try your side first!" He shivered. She 'accidently slid his wallet off the table. "Oh, let me get that." She slowly bent down, giving him time to look and shoot that 'I really want that!' look to the guys. He turned back with a warm smile. "Thank you…" He said though clenched teeth. He brought it up to his mouth. As did she.

He hesitated. As did she.

He took a bite and she did too. The rest of the team cringed and witnessed Tezz quiver on each chew. He gripped the table and continued on. She did as well with no problem.

Tezz gagged before running to the sink and spitting it out, taking the nozzle and spraying his mouth continuously. Everyone was laughing as he turned and fell to his knees. "HOW…?"

"I swapped my piece when you turned around to look at the guys when I 'dropped' your wallet. Tezz… I would swallow… but not a sandwich. Nice try."

He panted heavily and faced the team. "WHO TOLD HER…?"

Spinner pushed A.J. out in the open. Tezz hissed.

"Oh! A sandwich." Stanford said as he took a small bite of Tezz's side. He faced the team and shrugged. "Tastes a little funky, but it's okay."

Tezz gagged again and hung his head in the sink while he started having dry heaves.


	37. MY NAME IS NOT STEVEN! IT'S SPINNER!

"I dare you to… lick the inside of the freezer." Spinner said to A.J. as the bottle landed on him and he requested a dare.

The Canadian shrugged and ran into the kitchen. He opened up the freezer and licked one of the four icy sides. "Easy! HA!"

He walked back to the circle as everyone looked at him. He spun the bottle and it landed directly on Vert. "Oh man. Dare."

"I dare you to… not use even the littlest bit of hair gel for the next week!"

Vert groaned. "Okay, BUT PREPARE TO SEE ME BLOWING HAIR OUT OF MY EYES EVERY THREE SECONDS!" He spun and landed on Stanford.

"Truth."

"Arighty… Have you ever really dated a girl? By that I mean you picked her up, went to see a movie or something, got dinner, and dropped her back off."

Stanford nodded.

"Did you get a kiss afterwards?" Sherman added.

Stanford nodded. "It was cute." He giggled and turned the bottle. It came to a sudden stop on Agura. "Dare." She smirked.

"I dare you to kiss me."

Everyone 'Ooohhh'ed to tease her. She rolled her eyes and gently kissed the Brit's cheek.

"I meant on my lips."

"You never said where."

"If I did, would you really kiss it?"

She examined him up and down. "Depends on WHERE it is."

"BURN!" Spinner snickered.

The red-head huffed and spun the bottle.

Once again, it pointed to Zoom. "DARE! I am SO ready for dares tonight!"

"I dare you to… put on Vert's Shocksuit and imitate him."

Vert shrugged. "It's okay with me!"

Zoom sighed and started to take the clothing and walk to the bathroom. "Na-ah-ah I'M NOT DONE! Change, IN FRONT OF US…!"

Zoom groaned and slipped out of his shirt. He slid on Vert's Shocksuit top, then the pants after he took off his navy blue sweatpants.

He turned to them. "Do I look snazzy?" He struck a Greek-god type pose and giggled.

"You look like a mini-Vert!" A.J. smiled.

Vert chuckled. "Looks a little too big for ya'!"

Zoom cleared his throat and started speaking in a peppy voice. "OMIGAWD, Sage! I'M TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH AGURA! LOOK AT MY F*CKIN' BLOND HAIR!" With that, Zoom started whipping his hair and sat back down, getting the ultimate reward of seeing Tezz and Vert both laugh.

Zoom spin, landing on Spinner. "T or D?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to tell us what your REAL first name is..."

The Cortez's face went blank. He blinked and looked at the group. "Noooo!"

"It's Steven. Steven Cortez." Sherman started, but was sileneced a little too late. They all giggled as Spinner sulked, spinning the bottle. It landed on Tezz, who was lying on his stomach. "Dare me." He replied blankly.

"I dare you to… go to the Sark home world, and make out with Zemerick."

Tezz's jaw dropped.

"C'mon Tezz…!"

He sighed through his nose. "I'll kill you…"

* * *

Zemerick was walking back to his throne-room as he talked to Zug about his army's weapons.

"Yes, lord Zemerick…" He replied and started walking down the other hallway.

Zemerick opened the door and stared at the organic laying in his chair.

"Oh, hey Zemerick…"

One long leg over the other, left arm around the back, the other resting in his lap.

"Organic…?" He snarled and walked to Tezz.

Tezz stood up and gazed into the robot's red eyes. "Now, this is only for a game of truth or dare…"

He suddenly crushed his lips to Zemerick's and wrapped his arms around his back.

The leader looked at Tezz's closed eyes and felt a short tingling along his jaw. He closed one eye, then the other and gently embraced the human back.

Even though Tezz couldn't stand the taste of metal in his mouth, he continued the kiss and was pushed into the chair.

"O-Okay that's enough!" He pleaded. Zemerick placed his claws around Tezz's cheeks. "HOLD ON ZEMERICK!"

But the robot went against all his cries of help and kissed the Russian again.

He struck down his arms and legs before Tezz tried to kick and scream.

Zoom laughed and hid again behind a metal beam.

Zemerick let go of the human slowly. Tezz gasped for air and stared at the robot.

"Ok bye now!" He said cheerfully and sprinted out of the room.

As soon as Tezz was gone, Zemerick collected his fifty dollars from the group. "That was disgusting, but the organic is a good kisser."

* * *

"These just keep on getting more and more crazy." Tezz muttered as he spun.

It came to a sudden stop on Sherman.

He looked up and thought about what he should say. Tezz had a few things to blackmail him about, so he couldn't pick truth OR dare.

He sighed and picked. "Truth."

"Let's see… did you ever… kiss your brother in his sleep once?"

The Cortez's looked at each other. Sherman nodded. "IT WAS ON ACCIDENT!"

Spinner gagged and wiped his mouth for drama. "BLEGHHH!"

Sherman rolled his eyes as everyone continued giggling. It landed on Tezz again…

Tezz swallowed hardly. "Uhh…" Then again, Sherman had some dirt on Tezz also. "D-Dare."

"I dare you to tell us about that one dream you had a few weeks ago. Ya' know, the one about my brother…?"

Stanford scooted closer to Tezz. "Yeah TEZZ…"

Vert did also with a seductive smirk. "Go ahead and tell us what your DREAM was about…"

The Russian crossed one leg over the other shyly in remembrance and got away from the two. He flushed and stuttered. When he was nervous, he stuttered. It was a dead giveaway.

Agura smiled at him, evilly.

Spinner was just wide-eyed.

Sherman gave off a proud look and motioned towards him. "Well go on!"

"Uh… S-Spinner was in my-THE WOODS! A-And he kept on getting deeper into it, a-and I to-old h-h-h-him to sl-slow down so I-I could catch u-up. And once he did… he f-found this one part… that uhh, m-made me…" The trailed off and muttered the rest.

"What? I-I didn't catch that." Stanford teased.

"It made me… ahh… a-a little… squeamish! Yeah…"

"Why?" Zoom asked.

The Russian eyed him. "IT'S THE FRIGGIN' WOODS, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? !" He sighed and told more of the covered up secret.

Spinner just looked over.

Everyone giggled silently as he finished; a huge blush along his cheeks.

"What? I don't get it. So we just went in the woods and found some magical spot that made you feel weird?"

Vert swallowed his fit of laughter.

Sherman hid his with a cough.

Stanford bit on his tongue until it bled.

The older Cortez sighed and collapsed on the floor. "I don't understand you people!"

Tezz breathed out in relief.

"Nah… he just had a wet dream about you and him doin' it." Vert suddenly replied to the awkward silence.

The Russian dramatically fell back onto his back and huffed. "SO? It's not my fault what my dreams do and do not comprehend! It's all because of memories and things you see!"

"Soo… you saw my brother… in your bed, TOUCHING YOU?"

"HuuuuUUUUUUUUHHH!"


	38. Another quotes makes teh rating go to M!

EVERYONE GETTING THEIR CARS!

…

Tezz: *Looks at the Splitwire* Do you know how many prostitutes I could get with this car? About four… One would have to sit on my lap… *Evil grin*

…

Stanford: Look-look inside here… You can't see in there can you? NO. Why? IT'S TINTED, B*TCH!

…

Zoom: ALL DAY! ERRDAY! LEMME SHOW U HOW PIMPIN THIS B*TCH IS NINJAAA! *Gets on the Chopper and does wheelie* SKUURRRR!

**(NOTE: This is what sent my keyboard sticky…)**

…

Vert: No more drivin' in a car, sweatin' like an Afghanistan terrorist ON A BUS. OH MY GOD, MY BALLS FEEL GREAT…!

…

Agura: A clock! IT HAS A CLOCK! *Turns to Sherman* Did you know cars have clocks? **(NOTE: This ALSO made my keys sticky)**

…

A.J.: *Turns on the radio and dances a little in the seat to Country music.*

…

Sherman: Damn, my window is so dirty. Oh! I could do this…! *Pushes button*

* * *

Sage: *Giggle*

* * *

Agura: Yeah Tezz, EXTRAPOLATE…

* * *

Agura and Sherman: *Try to get blue paint off the wall*

Vert: What's going on…?

Both: NOTHING…!

(10 minutes later)

Agura: Ah! *Wipes Sherman's cheek with a wet rag and kisses him*

Sherman: …:333

Zoom: C-Can you wipe my face?

* * *

Vert: Ahhh! Black, black, blackblackblackblackblackidy-blackblack…

* * *

Everyone: *Watches 'Lord of the Kharamanos'*

Zoom: Good God Tezz! You're accent sounds like you're gunna roll your lungs right up your throat!

Spinner: I'm hearing a Perry the Platypus growl…

All: *Giggle*

Tezz: *Slips down in his seat*

* * *

Tezz: I wipe my ASS with six dollars and 42 cents!

* * *

BF5: *Eating back at home*

Everyone: *Fooling around*

Vert: *Says something calmly*

A.J. and Zoom: *Choke and laugh*

Agura: O.O

* * *

Zoom: FAMIRY GAME NIGHT!

* * *

Sherman: I run this block! I. RUN. THIS. BLOCK. No seriously, I run… this block. Every day… from six to seven, I, run… SHUT CHO B*TCH *SS UP! Ahhhhhhhh! *Runs away*

* * *

Vandals and RS5: Interior Crocodile Alligator! I drive a Chevrolet, Movie, Theatre! *Dance*

* * *

Stanford and A.J.: *Sing chocolate rain and Stanford plays the keyboard*

* * *

Zoom: *Stares at Vert*

Vert: -_- *Turns head and does Pedo smile*-_-, 8D… HAI THEEEEERE…!

Zoom: O-O

Vert: This is so illegal… *Takes Zoom's shirt and rips it off and twists his nipples*

Zoom: AGHHH!

Stanford: SHHH!

Agura: SHUT UP!

Tezz: C'MON! I'VE NEVER SEEN TRANSFORMERS! *Throws pillow*

* * *

Vert: I move away from the mic to gather speed… and watch Tosh.0

* * *

Agura: I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY!

* * *

BF5: *Listen to them all at hyper-speed* (Hear Krockomodo yell, 'NEVAH!')

Vert and A.J.: *Start laughing hysterically*

* * *

Vert: I DO NOT DANCE LIKE A WHITE BOI.

Agura: He really doesn't…

Vert: HAA!

* * *

Zoom: I want the Chris Brown parts! (In 'Look at Me now')

A.J.: I can sing to the Busta Rhymes' part…

Tezz: Oh! I'm gunna do the Lil' Wayne part.

Stanford: *Chuckles* This'll be a fail. *Starts music*

…

(4 mins later)

All: *Twitch*

Stanford: THAT… T-THAT…

Agura: WAS AWESOME!

A.J.: *Panting while half-dead*

Tezz: *Laughing*

Zoom: My part was easiest. XDD SUCKERZ!

Sherman: Kytren holds the record for that part A.J..

A.J.: DAMN!

Sherman: Although, Zoom and Tezz got the new record!

Tezz: OOOOHHHH! *Smacks Vert who said he couldn't rap* Like that song… IF U GOT EYES, LOOK AT ME NOW, B*TCH! *Hits him again*

* * *

Tezz: BABY I LIKE IT!

(Everyone starts randomly dancing)

* * *

Agura and A.J.: *Hold hands*

Zoom: AGURA! NOOO! YOU COULD HAVE BABIES!

Agura: We've been through this once… ZOOM…

* * *

Tezz: *Walks in the infirmary with a knife*

…

Sage: *Screaming*

All: *Drop what they're doing and run to the infirmary*

Tezz: *On Sage*

Sage: *Laughing hysterically*

Vert: O.O Tezz, what r u DOING? !

Sage: P-PLEASE! *Laughing* MAKE HIM STOP! *Laughs* Tickling… ME! AAHAHHAHAHAHAA! XDDD

Tezz: *Stops and laughs some*

Sage: *Pulls Tezz into a small kiss* Ah! I needed that! X33

* * *

Vert: *Whispers to her while panting, SMEXILY* Agura… we only have… four minutes…

Agura: *Panting also* To save, the world?

Vert: *Grabs her hand* …Yeah…

Vegura fans: EEEEEEE!

* * *

Spinner: Drink the Edgars? What?

* * *

Agura: You and I should sing to 'Candyshop'

Sherman: O/-/O SEDUCTIVE! *Grabs her* I liek it… I think…

Agura: *Kisses him madly* BWAHAHAHA!

ShermanxAgura fans: *SQUEEE!*

* * *

Vert: Hey Tezz!

Tezz: Uhh… hai?

Everyone: *Leaves to go to the diner*

Vert: *Yanks Tezz down by his hair and whispers* LISTEN, TEZZY… the next time we do the Shockblade, you better step up your performance… you're in the back… I'M IN THE FRONT… You better go easy on me… *Lets him go and walks out*

Tezz: OoO *Leans back some and flushes, knowing what he meant*

Me: *Squeals*

Everyone: O.o

XD

* * *

Vert: Hey Zoom, you wanna get on my train little boy…?

Zoom: uhhh… Vert?

Vert: Now don't be scared… *Runs his hands down Zoom's chest and takes off his shirt* C'mon now… Let's go let's… take a ride on my fun traaaiiiinn…~! C'mon now…

Zoom: *Sniffle* Choo-choo! *Crying*

Vert: I love you...

Zoom: Vert… *Smirks* When you put it THAT way…

Then they both start sucking each other's face off… YES.

XD

THE NEXT MORNING

Zoom: Oh, I rode that train…

Vert: U sure did… *Kisses him*

Zoom: *Kisses back* I wanna ride again… *Gets on top of Vert*

Pretty much everyone: EEEEEEE~!

* * *

Spinner: I think Tezz is a woman… *Types up fanfiction about it and posts* BWAHAHAHA!

Sherman: *Blushes* Would you like me to tell you how I KNOW, Tezz Is a man…?

Spinner: O-O *Turns* SHERM!

ShermanxTezz fans: EEEEEEE! X333

* * *

A.J.: *Watches Agura walk downstairs* OH SNAP! WURK IT GURL! MMMHMMM! SHAKE THAT BODACIOUS BOOTY!

Agura: O.G *Twitch*

* * *

Vert: I WANT U TO FEEL ME LIKE MY STEP-FATHER FELT ME!

All: OOOHHHHHHHH!

* * *

IMAGINE BABY BF5...

Vert: Let's go guys! *Tries to crawl in the Saber*

Tezz: *Looking at his gauntlet and accidently messes up Stan's hair* :D

Stan: 3X

Agura: *Holds Sherman's hand while they color*

Sherman: I madez a house.

Agura: I MADE A FLOWER! *Hands him her picture*

Zoom: *Playing with toy cars*

A.J.: *Puts a pot on his head and a bath towel as a cape and slides down the railing* AGHHHH! XDD

Spinner: *Playing a game*

Kalus: Eh! *Jumps after a butterfly and giggles*

Hatch: *Playing tag with Sever*

Krytus: :(

Kyburi: *Walks over and huggles him* ^-^

Zemerick: ZUG! Get me my Foofie! (XD Just came back from Madagascar 2 with the little ones at my church!)

Zug: *Hands him the blanket*

Zemerick: Mmmm! ^.^ *Tangles up in it.*

Zug: ...*Takes out teddy bear and sleeps next to Zem*

* * *

Tezz: Agh! I shall now show my utter disgust and anger with you through the piano. *Sits down and plays for about ten minutes*

A.J.: That's pretty man! Mozart or Bach?

Tezz: *Hisss* BEETHOVEN.

* * *

Stanford: WIT CHO CURLY CURLZ! :3

* * *

Spinner, Zoom, A.J., and Vert: *Playing Mario Kart*

Vert: Yes, YES, YEEESSS! DAAHH!

Zoom: OH YEAH! FIRST PLACE BEY-BEH! NOOOUUU! WAIT! YES!

A.J.: OH YEA! I'M WINNIN'! AGH!

Spinner: *Pops knuckles and presses a button*

All: AWWWWWW!

Spinner: That's how it's done…

* * *

Vert: SO IF UR WHITE!

Stanford: THROW!

A.J.: Sum chaa-aaaaa-aaaange!

* * *

Zoom: *Shows painting to Spinner*

Spinner What's that?

Zoom: IT'S ZEN GETTING BUTT-F*CKED, WHAT DO U THINK? ! (It was a flower)

Zen: O.G

* * *

**THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF ALL THE BF5 CHARACTERS IN OUR RP's.**

**BY KGIRL AND INVADERLUVER…**

**INVADERLUVER…**

Vert: The one who always gets Agura to himself. He usually doesn't care about what everyone else is doing, and only wants Agura for him and Tezz.

Zoom: The one who got Zen pregnant. He also likes making Zen do things like belly dance and watch movies with him and their children.

Agura: The most normal one. She goes with Sherman, Vert, and Tezz, and has been half-way raped before.

Tezz: The sex-crazed one that's openly bi/mostly gay with A.J.. He spends his free time decorating A.J. with whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate, and maple syrup on his crotch and licks it all up. MEWL… He has also raped A.J.… And is his baby daddy. He also likes hitting on everyone he sees in the Hub, ESPECIALLY Zen. (He came up to him with a black van and said he had candy)

A.J.: Tezz's b*tch, quiet, and patriotic for CANADIA! He likes using kitchen items to resemble sexually suggestive things like wurst, seasoning, and got turned on when Tezz was covered in the toppings and made a suggestive comment that's too mature to tell to the public… He and Spinner have an affair as well, that Tezz walks in on.

Sherman: The regularly shy/crazy one that likes Agura a little.

Spinner: The crack-head, junkie that's hyper and gets his weed from Tezz, and his crack from Zoom. He's in love with A.J. at some point.

Zen: The mother to his and Zoom's 246 children. He doesn't like Zoom sometimes, and managed to get a few ladies to kick his husband's *ss at the hospital. HE GAVE BIRTH AT THE PARK IN A CAVE TOO.

Stanford: Well, he's kind of ignored too… XD But he occasionally helps everyone.

**KGIRL…**

Vert: Basically has smex with Agura, IDK if he has been in a three/four/five/six-some; I always put him with Agura but Invader puts her w/ Tezz, but Vert usually ends up getting her XD

Agura: Has smex with Vert, Tezz, Sherman; girl bonding with Kyburi and her Anti, raped…at least twice by Tezz and Vert

Zoom: Zen's YAOI plaything and had 32 kids, then divorced because Zen was too "needy" Has been in a three/four/five/six-some

Zen: Zoom's YAOI partner, acts cute and new at it, no one knows who the girl in the relationship is!

Spinner: Usually there to be random, has p0rn on computer that gets shared once or twice, and occasionally acts vurry Mexican! Has been in a three/four/five/six-some

Sherman: Parades around singing about Taquitos, had smex with Agura once or twice, typically the smart one because Tezz is busy….XD Has been in a three/four/five/six-some

Stanford: Also had p0rn files, spazzes about hair and kills Tezz if he touches it, tries a bit too hard with Grace, has been in a three/four/five/six-some

AJ: LOVES bacon, says "eh" a lot, acts quite proud to be Canadian (I.E: wrapping himself with flag) and has been in a three/four/five/six-some and been paired with Tezz

And now for Tezz: GAY. Has been paired with everyone on the team except Zoom and Vert so far, extra-special relations with AJ, may have raped Agura I forget, fights Vert for Agura, ALWAYS in the three/four/five/six-some, been accused of everything from Commie to Nazi.

* * *

Agura: (After watching 'Jonah and the Whale' from Veggie Tales) *Enters living room with Vert and A.J.*

(The three are in angelic robes)

Rest of the team: O.O-?

Agura: God's a god of Mer-caaayyy… *Shimmies chest*

Vert: God's a god of love!

3: *Start singing in choir format* PRAISE THE LORD, HE'S THE GOD OF SECOND CHANCES! (Start dancing together)

Spinner: *Suddenly pops up*AOWW! WHOOO!

Vert, Agura, and A.J.: If you

Spinner: IF YOU!

3: Believe,

Zoom: BELIEVE!

3: God's love

A.J.: GOD'S LOVE! *Pulls up Tezz*

3: Is true

Vandals: IS TRUE!

3: Then you,

Sark: THEN YOU!

3: Should know,

Red Sentients and Blues: SHOULD KNOW! (Suddenly unfrozen and starting dancing around with each other*

3: What you,

Sage and Sol: WHAT YOU!

3: Should do…

All cast and crew: SHOULD DO!

Sage and Krytus: *Start dancing together* XDD

Spinner: PRAISE THE LAWD!

All: OUR GOD IS THE GOD OF SECOND CHANCEEEEEESSS! AOW! XDD (Look down to see themselves all in robes) OH KEWEL!

Me: What the hell did I just write...?

XDD NOW THAT'S RANDOM!

* * *

Sherman: O.O How did u get here…?

Zen: UR SO SOFT! Like a teddy bear… *Snuggle*

* * *

**(WARNING! THE FOLLOWING QUOTE MIGHT NOT BE RIGHT FOR SOME PEOPLE. IT IS RATED M)**

Zoom: We're gunna prank call Tezz, c'mon… *Puts it on speaker phone and dials Tezz's number*

Tezz: H-*Coughs*Hello?

Zoom: (In old woman voice) Oh dear Lawd baby! You sound like you getting' a cold.

Tezz: Uhhh…

Zoom: So I-I uhh… your friend gave me the wrong address… it's your birthday, right?

Tezz: Who the hell is this?

Zoom: Now don't be cursin', and swearin' at me baby! So I heard it's your birthday, huh?

Tezz: Ummm… yeah…

Zoom: Good! Good for you! How old are you, baby?

Tezz: … 20…

Zoom: Alright! OTAY! So since it's your birthday… I'm supp-see, YOUR FRIEND GAVE ME THE WRONG ADDRESS! I'm supposed to come over… and shake my titties in yo' face… I'm a stripper… Now don't you go tellin' your friends about this… I PUT THE MOVES ON YA' BABY, I PUT MY- *Covers mouth and leans back and returns* Oh-Oh! I'm sorry I'm laughing at you baby! I'm sorry. You like big titties…?

All: *Lean in*

Tezz: Uhhh… yeah… Sure…?

Zoom: Well Mine's SAGGY, you wanna touch one…?

Tezz: Uhhh…

Zoom: You ever have phone-sex with an 82 year old woman?

Tezz: No.

Zoom: You wanna start?

Tezz: No-

Zoom: Na-I-I-I'mma start with me walkin' in a room… and you on the couch baby, ejacrulatin all over yo' self- but you ain't gunna jerk off yet… No… You ain't gon nut yet…

Vert and Agura: *Leave to laugh in a soundproof room.*

Zoom: And I'mma take out my long titties… and wrap 'em around yo' penis… *Leans back to laugh again silently* And I'mma start, titty-f*ckin' ya baby…

Tezz: …

Spinner and Sherman: *Burst out laughing in a pillow*

Zoom: All you gon hear is Smack smack smack, cuz it's gon feel so good… Are you gettin' turned on baby?

Tezz: Not at all…

Zoom: I'm jerkin off with my titties baby… you got such a small penis… h-how big is yo' penis…? Yo friend told me it's seven inches, but how long is it really…?

Tezz: …

Zoom: C'mon baby, don't be shy…

Tezz: Ummm…

Zoom: Ohh Tezzy… Oh Tezz baby… Oh yeaaa… oh Te-*bursts out laughing and hangs up* BWHAHA, HUH HAHA!

…

Tezz: *Twitch* (*69)

…

Zoom: *Answers* Oh hey baby… you back for more…?

Tezz: No seriously, who the f*ck is this? How the hell do you know my name…?

Zoom: DUDE! TEZZ! It's Zoom!

Tezz: Whaa-… I-I-I-I…

All: *Laughing*

…

(The next day)

Zoom: *Walks in the diner* Morning Grace!

Grace: I heard you prank called Tezz and pretended to be a granny stripper…

Zoom: OxO

Tezz: *Evil glare*

* * *

Stanford: *Tells this really long one hour story to BF5*… And that was my first blowjob…

All: O_O

* * *

Rawkus: :B HURHUR…

* * *

Tezz: (As Russia) I… was thinking we should start hanging out…

Zen: *Cowers behind Zoom*

Zoom: *Trembling and whimpering* O-OKAY!

Tezz: (Happily) … Hmm! =) *Puts hand on Zoom's shoulder*

Both: *Freak out*

Zen: AGH! Touch of death! *Runs away* RUN AWAY!

* * *

Spinner: I have a compulsive need to take picture of everything.

* * *

A.J.: I'm sorry…

Vert: *Drawing bunnies for him* Yeah yeah…

* * *

Vert: AMERICA: THE ONLY COUNTRY DUMB ENOUGH TO DUB A MOVIE WHERE THE MICE EAT METH AND CRACK, LADEN CHEESE, AND CAN RUN FASTER THAN A HUMAN, DOGS AND MICE CAN TALK, DOLPHINS CAN SOMEHOW FLY, WHALES ARE A PLOT IN THEMSELVES AND NO ONE ON THE TITANIC DIED! 8D And I'm proud to beee an American! Where at least I know the dubs suck!

* * *

Agura's Guy friend: (Suck in helium) I come from Jamaica! XDD

* * *

Vert: Looks like fun! Whack-a-Vandal-!

Tezz: WHACK MY PENIS, B*TCH! *Laughs* O-OTAY THAT WAS SOOO INNAPROPRIATE! I-I'm sorry...

Vert: OoO

Tromp: H-He's drunk off of our native brews… don't find what he says…

Tezz: WHO ARE YOU? *Kisses Tromp* AND WHY ARE YOU SUCH A PIRATE? !

* * *

Kytren: *Skipping down the hall* This is my little pink doggie! And when he misbehaves, I, spank, his, ass!

All: O.G

* * *

Vert: No…

Stanford: NO.

Tezz: NEIN!

* * *

Sherman: SI BURRITO.

* * *

A.J.: Oh goodness! Your painting is **GORGEOUS!**

* * *

Tezz: Hmmm hmhmmhmhmmmhmmmmmmm~! (In the shower)

A.J.: *Creeps into his bathroom slowly and pulls the shower curtain back*

Tezz: AGHHHH-!

...

(Silence)

(AGHHHHHHHHHHH!)

Vert: *Drops his book and runs upstairs with the rest*

Tezz: *Panting and holding onto the rail on the side of the tub and covers himself when he sees Agura* Uhhh... *Stares at A.J.*

A.J.: I! *Stab* HAVE! *Stab* A! *Stab* CARROT! *Stab... stab...*

Tezz: O.O

All: O_O

Spinner: *Laughs at seeing Tezz naked*

Tezz: Oh shut up, u know I'm bigger than u...

All, including A.J.: OOOHHHHHH!

* * *

Agura: Here's your present!

All: *Gasp* BOOOOOBS…

* * *

Sherman: It means he'll hallucinate, and laugh to death.

Zoom: SRSSLY? DOESN'T THAT HURT? *Whimpers*

* * *

A.J.: *Glomps Anti-Tezz* MOMOMOMOMOMOMO!

* * *

Tezz: That's why she's sending the best man for the job, ME.

All: Whaa?

Vert: C'mon guys!

Spinner: Yeah! Tezz can handle this… HE'S A MANLY MAN!

Vert: YEAAAA!

Tezz: -_-' *Leaves*

* * *

Vert: Zoom's coming back…

Sage: *Shuts her eyes*

Zoom: *Streaks*

Sage: OH NO…

Sherman: What?

Sage: I CAN SEE THROUGH THEM!

* * *

Vert: *Passes out test* NO CHEATING…

…

(30 minutes later)

Stanford: …EXPLOSIONS!

Agura: *Screams*

Tezz: The hell…?

All Primary members: *Scream and run out*

A.J.: Uhhh…

* * *

Tezz: *Pulls Hatch close* A-lau-lau-lau-lau-lau-lau-lau-lau… *Flicks tongue*

Hatch: O.O *Moves closer*

Tezz: *Licks Hatch*

Hatch: OxO'

…

Tezz: That… was great… *Panting* I never knew Vandals were beats in OTHER ways…

Hatch: O-O Yeah… humans seem so frail…

Tezz: IKR? *Drinks until he passes out*

* * *

Sherman: TEZZ IS SO THIN! He only has a little flubber-nub of fat!

* * *

Stanford: Photoshop can do wonders…

* * *

Agura: SEXY TIME! *Brings out whip and whips Vert's *ss*

Vert: I know what THAT means… *Pins her down*

* * *

Stanford: STILL IGNORED! *Shot*

* * *

ANOTHER INITIATION TIME!

Tezz and A.J.: *Walk into the hood and stop in the middle of the street with bullet-proof vests under their shirts* OK…

Tezz: CRIPS ARE A PIECE OF SH*T! Gogogogogo!

Both: *Start running*

About nine people: *Run after them*

A.J.: DON'T RUN TOO FAST! YOU'LL TRIP OVER YOUR OWN PANTS! *Dodges a pipe*

* * *

(TEZZxVERT)

Tezz: *Talking at two AM to Vert* Well, I can always go across the hall, drag you out and put you in the Splitwire, drive out to the desert and f*ck you senseless…!

Vert: *Blushes*

* * *

Me: Ugh! My computer's all sticky! The 'a' key is getting hard to press down!

All: *Snicker*

Me: WHAT? I'M NOT A GUY! I WAS WRITING YOUR QUOTES, AND WHILE I WAS READING SOMETHING OVER, I LAUGHED AND SPILLED MY DRINK OVER THE KEYS! IT WAS 'TWIST UP'! C'mon!

* * *

Sherman: Uhh… Vert, I think you've had enough to drink… (Coffee)

Vert: *Jumps on the table* I WILL F*CKING KILL YOU, DO YOU HEAR ME? I WILL TEAR OFF YOUR F*CKING BALLS, AND STAPLE THEM TO YOUR F*CKING FOREHEAD. STOP. F*CKING. AROUND. AND GET ME MY F*CKING COFFEE!

All: *Drop their forks/spoons/cups/etc* O0O

Guys: *Cover themselves*

Sherman: Uhh… I still think you shouldn't be able to have anymore.

Vert: Ya' know. YOU'RE RIGHT. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST STICK TO WATER.

Sherman: Uh, yeah. You sound a little… odd toned…

Vert: I know that. YOU F*CKING MORON. I'M BEING, F*CKING, SARCASTIC.

Agura: *Makes coffee quickly*

Vert: *Drinks and sighs* Ahhh… what were we talkin' about again?

* * *

All: *Walk up to Agura sleeping on the couch*

Vert: Behold… WOMEN'S JUCY HOLES OF DOOM! Located here, here, and here, below the nasal cavity.

* * *

A.J.: I STAB U WITH MY PEE-PEE!

Tezz: BRASHAGANA!

Zoom: Me go pee-pee in your Coke!

* * *

A.J.: STUPID *SS 'A' KEY!

* * *

Spinner: *Punches Zoom* VIDEO GAMES DON'T MAKE ME VIOLENT!

* * *

A.J.: Z-FO-MATION! HEAD ROTATION, BUTT CIRCULATION! XD

* * *

Agura: Do you pee standing up?

Vert: Uhhh… yeah…? Why would I not?

Agura: Do YOU pee standing up?

Sherman: Yes.

Agura: Do you pee standing up?

Tezz: O.O Umm… There's no need to sit down while peeing so…

* * *

Sherman: LEMONS. Perfect for orange juice!

* * *

Spinner: Butterscotch MY BALLS!

* * *

Vert: I think that's it…

Tezz: NOU! *Beats with broom*

* * *

(SLEEPOVER!)

Sherman: Hey! I got an idea!

Stanford: What?

Sherman: SHUT UP. *Falls asleep again*

(I might make a fic of that! XD)

* * *

Vert: *Nearly asleep in a huge bed with Agura… they're both fully clothed…*

A.J.: What r u two doing? *Walks out of the shower with a towel around his waist and a wet chest*

Agura: We're going to 'Carowinds' A.J., WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE…?

* * *

Spinner: I, am an A.J.… and the world is my Tezz!

* * *

Zen: STOP! AHAHAHA! STOOOOP!

Zoom: OH SO UR TICKLISH NOW! *Pokes his bellybutton*

Zen: *Turns over quickly and giggles* AHHH! HAHAHAA!

* * *

Tezz's father: *Ruffles Tezz's hair* Communism good, da?

Tezz: Da.

Tezz's father: DA! Now go fetch vodka.

* * *

A.J.: I WAS PISSING ON A TREE AND IT FROZE MID-STREAM!

Vert: Tezz, help A.J..

Tezz: *Groans*

* * *

Agura: Tezz… *Places hand on his *ss* You make big noses look HELLA FINE!

Tezz: MY NOSE, IS NOT, BIG! Ohh! But that DOES feel nice! *Giggles and does the same to her*

Agura: Bwahaghh…! X33 *Remembers the time he flashed her*

* * *

Speaking of which…

Vert: FLASH! *Flashes Agura*

Agura: *Falls backwards on Sherman* :3333

* * *

Spinner: *On his computer* You dare put a chain letter in my lair? YOU MUST DIE…

All: O.O

* * *

A.J.: *Throwing up his fish and rice* UGGHHHH…

Tezz: *Holding his hair out of the way*

Agura: *Patting his back and waiting to wipe his face with a cloth*

The rest: *Gagging and rushing outside to throw up themselves*

A.J.: How can u two stay here and not get sick too?

Agura: I was a huntress so I was used to puking and guts and blood… Tezz? *Wipes his face*

Tezz: *Shivers* My childhood… M-My father…

A.J. and Agura: O-O

A.J.: … BLAUAGHHGHHH!

* * *

**(Lolin' Girl. I hope u feel better!)**

Zoom: I got a tat.

Vert: Hell just froze over.

Stanford: Let's see it!

Zoom: I'm a biker dude! *Shows tattoo of Apple logo*

Vert: It's an Apple.

Zoom: I know, it's trademarked, but what are they gonna say... It's in my skin, b*tch!

* * *

Random Person: You're gonna pay a disobedience fee of $10,000, plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar. If you don't, we're gonna break your friends legs here.

Tezz: Don't bring the money! I'm a computer programmer! I don't need my legs!

Random Person: Fine, we'll break his hands!

Tezz: Bring the money!

* * *

Spinner: She's perfect for me. I wanted to say something funny, but all I could think of was black jokes.

Agura: Do tell... which ones? Why don't you tell the one that ends with me beating your *ss?

Vert: You're the sheriff, aren't you going out there?

Sheriff Johnson: Hey, I took my law enforcement course on the internet! For arms training they just told us to play Doom!

* * *

Agura: That's too bad. I wanted you to try my chili. It's pretty hot.

Vert: No, I'll try it. I like your kind of hot. Chili, chili hot. Food hot. That's the hot I want to kiss.

* * *

Spinner: Thanks, Zoom, I feel really safe with you.

Zoom: I noticed that. If you ever lay your head on my back while riding b*tch, I'll throw you into traffic!

Spinner: I was just trying to keep the wind out of my face.

Zoom: I felt you smell my neck!

Sherman: Did you smell that man's neck?

Spinner: His cologne is fantastic. It's musky with an oaky finish like a... lawyer cowboy.

Sherman: A lawyer cowboy?

* * *

Sherman: I think we better get out of here.

Stanford: No, we'll get out of here at sundown after we've had our beverage.

Stanford: What's that supposed to mean?

Sherman: ...um...you're fat.

Stanford: No!

* * *

Son: Mommy I want some milk!

Agura: Okay sweety *starts breastfeeding*

Zoom: Um...how old's your som?

Vert: 48 months.

Tezz: That's 4...

Vert: Yeah...

* * *

Spinner: I bet you 5 bucks he gets on one knee.

Zoom: You're on.

Stanford: *sings final note and drops to one knee*

* * *

Vert: *raises arm into a Y formation*

Agura: Hey Y, where's MCA?

* * *

Tezz: *kills bug*

Daughter: Daddy? Where's it going?

Tezz: Hell.

Kerstin: TEZZ!

Tezz: I mean...Mexico.

* * *

*All the guys are in a kiddy pool*

Agura: Don't pee in there, it turns urine blue.

A.J.: Don't worry. We aren't *water turns blue*

*all the kids scream and get out*

Agura: UGH, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!

Guys: O_O

* * *

BF5 cast: I WANNA GET CHOCOLATE WASTED!

* * *

Agura, Sage and Grace: Oh look, he's coming up to us!

Life Guard: *in high pitch voice* What's up ladies? I'm from Sascatchatoon! That's up in Canada, eh? You American ladies ever been up to Sascatchatoon? Yeah, you American  
ladies would enjoy being in Sascatchatoon.

*girls burst into laughter*

Life Guard: Hoseteasers *walks off angry*

Grace: *still laughing* Everything was on steroids except for his voice!

* * *

*on a boat*

Vert: I gotta pee *gets up and turns to the edge of the boat*

Zoom: Come on, you made three already.

Stanford: It must be oozing out at this point.

Vert: Shut up. I'm trying to concentrate.

Agura: It's taking a piss, not the SATs.

A.J.: Are you peeing or is a diesel truck turning off? What the h*ll is that?

Spinner: Listen to hamper bottom. I think he's sending a message in Morse code. Getting old. Stop. Can't pee. Stop. Reek like an asparagus. Stop. Even though I didn't have  
any. Stop.

* * *

A.J.: So the hamburger asked the hot dog, "why are you happy?" and the hot dog said, "cuz I'm a wiener jammed between two buns!

Vert: *bursts out laughing*

* * *

Zen: I have brought things from other countries as I have sailed around the world! (In a VERY cute over-sized kimono, the sleeves are about three inches from his hands X333) Here's a leopard! Kawaii, aru~?"

Master T.: D;( Uhhhh…

Zen: An Ostrich! Very Kawaii!

Master T: *Face palm*

Zen: Camel! Aruuu~!

Master T: *Twitch* ^

Zen: *Flails arms* GIRAFFE KAWAII ARUUU~~~! (8D *Sqeeee!*

* * *

Sherman: Hippidy, boppidy, bickity, nigaro toooooo…

All: O.O

* * *

Stanford: ಠ_ಠ

Zoom: ಠ_ಠ

A.J.: ಠ_ಠ

Tezz: ಠ Jಠ


	39. EVERYONE IS DRUNK! AGHHH!

Agura stepped out of her room in a suggestive slip with only panties underneath. She and Vert met at the end of the hallway. "Nice boxers." She remarked. "Nice… everything…" He replied and smiled. They walked downstairs and met up with A.J., Sherman, Zoom, and Tezz in the kitchen, all of them staring at Agura.

She covered her chest and slapped A.J..

The Canadian giggled and smirked. "Can't blame me!" He cried and rubbed his shoulder.

Agura stood between Sherman and Zoom as Vert brought out Tezz's latest empty vodka bottle. "Okay. Spin the bottle. Whoever it lands on, YOU HAVE TO KISS AND OR GROPE. This is our yearly sexy party, let's make it a good one." With that he spun, landing on Sherman.

"Damn." The Cortez swore and kissed Vert on the cheek. Sherman spun, having high hopes for Agura or someone he got along with. It slowly landed on Zoom. "Aww!" The scout gently kissed Sherman on the lips quickly and spun, landing on Agura. All the guys groaned as Zoom celebrated. He leaned over and deeply embraced her and slid his tongue over her lips, cautiously grabbing her behind as he did so.

Agura giggled and pushed him away. "Leave some for the others Zoom! God…" With that, she spin, evilly smirking as it stopped on Tezz. Tezz had never been to a sexy party, and didn't know what it was, but so far, he liked it. She walked to him and forced him into it. Surprisingly, he grasped her on the back of the head and by her backside, pulling her closer. Agura giggled and reached in his boxers, getting a choke and a small push. Tezz blushed and coughed. "Why did you try to touch me?"

"Uhh, Vert said we could GROPE? Hello?" She giggled.

Tezz rolled his eyes and spun, quite pleased as it stopped on Sherman. He leaned over and kissed him fully, running his fingers through the other's hair as he did. Vert whistled and was shocked when Sherman wound up having to kiss him as well.

The blond spun, having it on A.J. The Canadian wouldn't on usual circumstances… but hey, it was a sexy party! He leaned over the table and fiercely attacked his leader. They all whistled and watched as Vert gently moved down to A.J.'s neck, and A.J. placed his hand in Vert's boxers. He staggered for a second, but allowed his friend to continue, groaning before they parted.

Agura giggled. "Okay, let's not get anyone too turned o-" Before she could finish, Vert hurried over to A.J.'s side and kissed him again. They all silently witnessed the two reach second base and almost get to third when Sherman split them up. "Gosh Vert! Don't hesitate to act like an animal!" Zoom joked.

A.J. cleared his throat and grinned to his 'lover' as he spun. It landed on Tezz. The Russian whimpered and softly kissed the other on the forehead. Tezz cringed and had to kiss Zoom next. Zoom, once again, got to kiss Agura. The huntress kissed him with no emotion and spun. Thankfully, it landed on Vert.

The blond walked to her and started out slow. Then he quickly pulled her to him and ran his fingers down her chest. Agura squealed and burrowed into his neck. "Okay, that's enough!" A.J. ordered, not wanting Vert to be seen with her tonight.

Agura rolled her eyes and watched as Vert got to make out with Tezz. The Russian reluctantly was pushed into the kiss, feeling queasy at first, and then opening up with small but cute nibbles. He pulled away, smirking. He suddenly ran into the living room and pulled out three bottles of vodka. "let's start a drinking game. Every time someone has to kiss someone else… we take a shot!" He smiled and started pouring the drink into shot glasses.

* * *

The next morning, Vert awoke on top of Agura's naked body with his boxers half-off, Sherman was asleep on the Buster, and Tezz, A.J., and Zoom were all scattered along the floor, naked and drenched in vodka.

Vert stirred and awakened first. He looked at Agura and blushed, pulling up his boxers and covering her with a blanket. Zoom groaned and pulled himself up off the floor and turned to Tezz, who was lying on his stomach, still asleep. _'Ugghh… that b*tch…'_ He woozily thought and held his head.

Agura opened her eyes and looked at Vert. "What happened?

"I think we went a little over the top with our whole… drinking sexy night…" He moaned and gagged.


	40. Spa Day!

Agura giggled as she leaned her head back on the wooden platform. Vert scooted over on the steps of the hot tub. He slowly and sneakily nibbled on her neck.

She shook her head and laughed. "So where exactly are the others? Not that I care." He smirked and pulled away. "Oh I dunno. Do I care right now? No I don't…" He purred as he pulled her closer.

* * *

Stanford, Zoom and Spinner were in a wide room with a stone path leading to a pool outside. They were all placing bets on the table. "Okay, so I'm gunna put ten bucks on Zoom." Stanford giggled.

Spinner huffed. "I got 20 on mah-self!" He smirked. "I have five on myself too!" Zoom smiled. "Now whoever jumps the farthest gets all the money. "You ready Spin?"

The two walked out to the outside of the building. Stanford got over to the side and smirked. "Ready?"

They got ready and glared at each other. As soon as they heard 'go', they ran off, jumping at the edge. Stanford looked and smirked. "Zoom totally won."

The Thai raised a fist underwater and swam over to the steps. "OH YEAH!" He cried as he got out. They were interrupted by a few giggles in the corner.

The boys turned to look at three girls, around their age, giggling and waving with swimsuits on and towels in hand. One girl, a blonde, walked over to greet them. "That was some pretty sick stuff you two just did." A little sarcasm was in her tone, but they shrugged it off. "So who are you?"

"Well I uh-AOW!" Spinner cried as he was shoved back in the water. Zoom giggled like an idiot and smiled. "I-I'm Zoom, and this is Stanford. That's Spinner."

They all watched him and 'awww'ed as he ranted at Zoom.

One brunette knelt down and reached for his hand, interlocking their fingers. She jumped in with him and laughed. "I'm A.J."

"I have a friend named A.J… but he's a dude. N-Not saying that A.J.'s a dude's name, but uhh…" He was stalled as she kissed his cheek. "I know cutie."

Zoom sat at the edge with the blonde, while Stanford looked at the other girl. "Uhh… hi?" He asked. She smiled and took his hand.

They made their way over to two chairs. She sat on one, getting a little sun block out without a word. "So uhh… you like it here?" She didn't look over. "Hey…?" He waved a hand in front of her face. She looked over and started making a few motions with her hands. He gasped. "Oh you're deaf! I-I'm sorry!"

She just glared further. He tried to remember back to what he learned and smiled. He suddenly remembered how to sign 'sorry'. He did and that made her smile and giggle. She moved closer and started signing like crazy. He just looked and blinked. The Brit took out a small stack of paper, all connected.

He always knew that his notepad would come in handy.

* * *

Meanwhile, A.J. was busy with Sherman, talking while they relaxed, back in a separate area of the deserted spa resort they were staying at. They were just inside a lobby-type place, exploring the place. Sherman looked past a few doors and witnessed a small yoga class of only about five people. A.J. looked to his friend.

Sherman glared back. "Moving on." He said promptly and walked away. "Aw c'mon Sherm!" A.J. pleaded. "It's a good way to stay in shape!"

The Cortez looked to his toned body that made him have a little bit of low self-esteem. "Are you serious?"

"PSH-YEAH!" The Canadian smirked.

"No…" Sherman shook his head and continued, bringing his friend along.

* * *

Tezz rolled over as he wrapped his arms tightly around a young woman, his age, and beautiful. Sierra was her name. Long black hair, blue eyes, RUSSIAN. He had knots in his back and shoulders from working non-stop, so Vert put him up for a massage in a tiny, steamy room. He wasn't sure what it was, but if THIS is what a massage was, HE LOVED THEM.

It started out when she asked him a few questions, getting him on his stomach. He answered, a little unwilling to have her rubbing his back. She moved him on his back then so he could see her face and he was in love. She told her story and it lead to her feeling bad for his childhood and kissing him. He kissed back, and before they knew it, they were on the clean, hot floors of the sauna-type room. He had nothing but a towel, that was barely on, and she was down to her tank-top and shorts.

Tezz nuzzled into her neck and teased at her two remaining straps, wanting them off.

Sierra purred and took his towel off, starting to daringly grope him. He bit his lip and started to kiss her again, pulling has hands down her chest.

More clothes were shed as they started another tongue war and giggling. Sierra pulled him on her, breathing heavily into his neck. She whispered something in Russian and squealed as he replied by grinding his hips up to hers.

* * *

Vert was now bare in the water with Agura. She was getting her top off while he waited patiently. She turned and came over to him, smoothly kissing his lips and pulling him down to her level. The blond smirked and put his arms around her, wanting to desperately get a quick feel on her chest. She wouldn't allow it, teasing him whenever he slid his hands up her stomach.

Agura giggled and kissed his cheek while positioning herself over him in his lap. She giggled as she could tell by his face that he was panicking inside. "Vert, are you getting turned on…?"

"N-No…" He blushed and tore away from her. She laughed aloud as she witnessed her leader act scared as hell.

* * *

Stanford smiled as he wrote another small note on the paper, and slid it to her. She looked and giggled, writing back cleanly and sliding it over, taking a sip from the drink he bought her.

Zoom was with the blonde at the end, still talking. "So yeah… back home… I fight." He smirked, feeling a little high and mighty. "Oh wow… back on my farm, I heard cattle together, ride horses, and sometimes I get to go bull-riding." She moved up some and pulled down the side of her bikini bottom. "See that huge scar?"

He nodded. "I got that from when I was riding and I was stabbed by a horn. It's not fun…" She smirked.

"I can't imagine so…"

Spinner was on the other end, playing around with A.J.. They giggled as they raced down one end, he got there first, grabbing her and holding onto her for a while until she had to finally pry his fingers off one by one.

A.J. stuck out her tongue and turned.

"So what's A.J. stand for?" The Cortez asked.

"Anna-Jane. My mom chose Jane, and my dad always wanted a daughter named Anna. I've only seen him once."

He propped himself up and blinked. "Why?"

"He's in the Army."

Spinner gasped. 'My dad's in the military too!"

Her eyes brightened as she jumped on him. "YAY! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU FOREVER~!"

* * *

A.J. crept slowly past a man guarding the hallway to the locker rooms. Sherman slowly followed, rolling his eyes. "A.J. we can't do this!"

"Says you!" The blond replied and hurried on into the ladies room.

The Cortez slowly walked in, a little scared. "We can peek on girls!"

"SAYS. YOU." He repeated as he peered into the room and started giggling like an idiot.

* * *

Sierra panted as she slowly wrapped her arms around Tezz. He continued kissing her neck as he rolled off of her body and wiped his neck of sweat. "That was… amazing… Sierra…" He groaned and gently kissed her neck.

She smirked. "Yeah… you're not that bad… yourself…"

He smirked back in return and rubbed her arm before sitting up and climbing back on the table. "So what do you suppose we do now?"

Sierra giggled and put him back down on the table and kissed the back of his neck. "How about another massage…?" She cooed suggestively.

He licked his lips and nodded. "Whatever you want…"


	41. MEIN RUSSISCH BALLS!

**Kerstin belongs to Lolin' Girl.**

**LOLZ I've wanted to do this to Tezz for A LONG TIME…**

* * *

Kerstin sniffled as she tossed the TV remote to his side of the bed. She was over her cold, and all that was left was the sniffles. Thankfully, it wasn't that contagious so they could sleep together again. She was in a cute silky blue slip and some short shorts while he walked out of the bathroom in his boxers.

Once he was done drying the rest of his hair, he hung up his towel, turned both lights off (The bathroom and the bedroom) and walked over to the bed. He crawled in and planted a kiss on her cheek before cuddling up next to her. "I'm so glad you're feeling better." He smiled and placed the remote on the nightstand, fumbling around in the pitch black darkness.

Kerstin kissed him quickly and nuzzled in his chest. A few moments later, she giggled. "'Tezz, please tell me that's your hand…"

He chuckled and trailed up her leg and to her stomach, where he patted her. "You're belly… it is so fatty…"

"Shut uuup! At least I got a belly, mister faint six pack! Wait that didn't help…"

He laughed again and sloe a kiss to her forehead. "Did I miss…?"

She nodded, "Yeah." even though he couldn't see. Tezz pressed his lips to her chest and got a small push. "Okay, now you totally knew my boobs were right there…"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you di-mmm…" She was cut off by her thoughts telling her not to get into it right now. She grabbed his ears to find his nose before kissing it and turning over. "Goodnight Tezz."

"Night…" He replied and turned her way, wrapping his arm around her torso.

* * *

After about two hours of deep sleep, Kerstin suddenly thrashed around in the bed. She panted from the dream and gasped. She started hysterically sobbing and using her pillow as a shield. Tezz opened his eyes and quickly turned on the lamp. KERSTIN!" He cried, taking her hands.

She slapped him away. "_Ich will nicht sterben!_ (I do not want to die!)" She yelled over and over again due to her tragic past.

Tezz got up from under the blankets and sheets and tried to soothe her in her 'all German' mode. It was whenever she got nightmares, she would scream and all she knew was German for a few moments. Tezz tried to desperately to calm her.

The kick-boxer swiftly turns and pinned him down, her knee going right where the sun don't shine. "_Sie versuchten__, mich zu töten!_ (They tried to kill me!)" He whimpered as she suddenly came to the end of her rage when she heard him shouting, "_MEIN RUSSISCH BALLS! Mein Russisch balls~!_ (MY RUSSIAN BALLS! My Russian balls~!)"

Kerstin quickly got off of him and witnessed Tezz whimper and put his hand on the area to try to take away the throbbing pain. He groaned every few seconds. Kerstin ran off downstairs.

Vert was lying on the couch with Zoom, watching a movie. "Kerstin? What are you doing?"

She hurried and got some ice from the freezer and tossed the cubes in a bag.

"It's like… two AM!"

She then hurried past the boys. "Can't talk, I just knee'd my boyfriend!" She replied before running upstairs. She rounded a corner and walked in to the room where Tezz was under the sheets with his boxers off, and his hands still over his crotch.

He thankfully took the ice and slid it under the blankets slowly while whimpering. "I would ask if I could kiss it to make it feel better…" She started. He glared. "NO… DON'T GO ANYWHERE NEAR MY BALLS FOR THE NEXT FIVE DAYS…"

"I wasn't going to anyway…" She rolled her eyes and laid on top of the bed. Vert walked in the room, Zoom on his tail. He whistled and looked at the Russian and German. "DON'T YOU DARE TELL ANYONE…" He warned, and painfully propped himself up more.

"Maybe Sage should check it out…" Zoom said, not sarcastic at all. "I mean, I'm a fighter like Kerstin, if she can knee as hard as I can, you might wanna go to the doctor."

Tezz shook his head and slowly put his boxers back on. "Alright, but warn her first that she's gunna have to do something like this. It's good she vaguely knows about male anatomy, down there…" He said as he slowly made his way out of bed and was helped by Vert and Kerstin as Zoom ran off.

* * *

"How'd everything go?" Kerstin asked as she watched Tezz slowly come out of the infirmary wing. He kissed her cheek slowly. "I still don't like you… She said I'm fine and that all I'll need is a lot of rest on my legs."

"Aww… I'll tuck you in every night if you want me to…" She cooed and kissed his cheek. "I'll feed you, help you around, get you stuff, help give you showers…"

The Russian blushed. "Umm… I-I think I can do that on my own…" He assured as he was helped upstairs. He walked down the hallway and into his bedroom. He then plopped down on the mattress and drifted off… nearly peacefully.


	42. ITT, you'll find out later

Zoom grabbed a towel from the hallway closet and wiped his forehead that was drenched in sweat. "Ughh. I feel like I was invited to one of A.J.'s spring break parties." He rolled his eyes and started back towards the gym.

"So now what do you want to do?" Tezz asked, downing a second bottle of water. Zoom jumped back into the ring and wiped his nose. "Well, seeing as I'm having another nosebleed, and your leg looks a little bent and bruised, why don't we go for round six?"

The Russian laughed aloud and grabbed his MMA styled gloves, strapping them on quickly. Zoom re-did his tapes and faced Tezz. "Round six."

"Round six." Tezz repeated. Taking his cross necklace and gripping it before putting his fists up. Zoom did the same and jabbed down at his shoulder. Tezz pulled back and kicked the Thai down. Zoom coughed and managed to roll onto his back before he was hit again. Tezz backed away some as the other stood. "Hey Tezz, guess what day it is?"

The Russian guarded his face just in case Zoom wanted to distract him. "No, why?"

Zoom backed the taller teammate to the corner of the ring and ran a hand down his chest.. "It's inappropriate touch Tuesday…" With that, he twisted Tezz's nipple, earning a sharp scream and a punch to the chest.

He gasped and covered his mouth in shock. "I AM SO SORRY!" He cried, kneeling down to the scout. He sat up and grinned before grabbing him again. "Now listen Tezz, I want you to listen to me, okay? Will you do that for me?"

The other bit his lip and nodded furiously. "MMHMM!

"Good boy." He twisted harder. "Now I want you to go to a random person in the Hub and do the same thing, alright?"

Tezz nodded faintly and was let go of. He panted and looked to his chest, squirming around for a second before standing up and walking out of the gym. Zoom chuckled. He loved how this was going to end up.

* * *

Tezz cleared his throat before slowly walking into A.J.'s room. The poor Canadian was just minding his own business, lying on his bed while listening to music. Tezz blinked and took in a deep breath before shutting the door behind him. "Oh! Hey Tezz!" The blond cooed. The Russian got closer until he ended up crawling on the bed over the other.

"W-What are you doing?" A.J. asked, backing away. Sadly, he ran out of room at the wall. Tezz leaned over him and tugged on his shirt. He pawed it off, tossing it over to the floor.

"Woah, uhhh… Tezz, if you want to do something like this, we can get in my ride and go out in the desert where no one could walk in on us and be blinded, uhh…"

Tezz ignored the suggestion, running a hand down A.J.'s chest like Zoom did to him. He felt the looser muscles on the Canadian (compared to Sherman) and ran his fingertips over and over one specific vulnerable part.

A.J. tilted his head off to the side, showing a yummy expression that Tezz wouldn't mind coming back to after A.J. pinched someone else. The blond whimpered and placed a hand on Tezz's shoulder. "Tezz, can we…. D-do this later~? I-I don't feel sexy!" He whined, trying to pry the other teammate off of him. The thin fingers then started to curve around hips and his torso, making A.J. groan. Tezz burrowed his nose into the other's neck, gently pulling his hands back up to the selected area where he would inflict pain. He got a kiss to his neck while A.J. was squirming around. "Tezzy, please. I don-AGHH~!" He cried.

Tezz grinned and got off the bed, watching A.J. put his hands over his chest. "WHAT THE HELL MAN?" He asked, wincing in pain.

"It's touch Tuesday!" He replied, showing a wide smile. "Now you go pinch someone else!" He ordered.

A.J. sighed and got up, pulling his shirt on and slipping past the Russian. "Hey, come back when you're done!" Tezz called, shutting the door and peeling off his clothes before getting in A.J.'s bed and snuggling into his pillows.

* * *

A.J. made his way down the hall and into the Cortez room. Sherman was the only one there, reading a wide book called 'Y the Last Man'. Not even looking over, he murmured: "Hey A.J." with no emotion. The blond walked to the bed and reached over, just out of reach before he was slapped away.

"WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, what are you doing?" Sherman asked, marking his place and closing the book.

"It's touch Tuesday. I have to twist your nipple." He flatly informed, trying to touch the other again. "Wait! Why don't we just say that I was touched?" Sherman asked.

"Fine." A.J. shrugged, not feeling up to anything because of his encounter with Tezz. "Thanks. Hey, why are you so sad?"

"Oh, Tezz twisted my nipple and doing it, he started touchin' my chest, and… runnin' his hands all over my stomach, and I-I was uncomfortable."

"Turn you on?"

"Very much.

Sherman shook his head. "Well, I won't be reading upstairs today! You and Tezz sort this out." He started for the door, stopping dead in his tracks before turning. "WINK. WINK."

Implying that suggestion made A.J. roll his eyes. He walked back to his room and witnessed Tezz in his bed, all warm and happy. He had to admit, for a cold-hearted scientist whose only weakness was the Kharamanos, chocolate, science, and puppies, he looked quite snugglable **(Is that even a word? Oh well. XP)**

He shut the door and walked to his bed. "I did it to Sherman. He's off downstairs and we have the whole upstairs to ourselves. What a joy." He said, monotone.

Tezz turned as the Canadian crawled in bed, his back to the other. He kissed his teammate's neck and wrapped one leg around his. "You're… naked, aren't you?"

"Yup." Tezz smirked, pulling A.J. onto him.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sherman had already got Stanford, and Stanford had moved on to Vert. For a leader of a group that fights for the protection of the world, he sure could scream loud. LOUD.

The blond contained himself before hearing that most of the team had already gotten pinched. He didn't dare go upstairs to check for Agura because of what A.J. had told Sherman.

He walked into the kitchen and found her, playing Angry Birds. Vert walked to her, the rest following. "Agura, it's inappropriate touch Tuesday." He informed. She continued playing, shushing him. "But I have to give you a purple nurple." He pouted.

She shook her head, paused the game and sighed. "C'mon."

They walked to the bathroom in the hallway. Agura dragged Vert in and locked the door so no one could see her. "I don't know how we can do this because I'm wearing a bra."

"Take it off?" He suggested. She angrily took her black shirt off and bra. "I hate you right now."

"Oh I know." He muttered, running a hand over her bare chest. Agura huffed. "Just hurry up!" he shrugged and made her yelp in pain. "Owww…" She frowned, hitting his shoulder. "You suck! You and your Tuesdays…" He emitted a low laugh before keeping her pinned against the door for a moment. "You look batter naked." He whispered in case anyone on the other side was listening. She blushed and pushed him away. "Stop iiit!"

He chuckled and handed her her bra back. "Here."

"Wow, THANKS." She shook her head again, putting her clothes back on.

"Ya' know, I don't know how you managed to see me naked without having, let's just say, PROBLEMS. Down there." She giggled.

"You don't know that." He murmured, making sure that she wouldn't be able to hear him.


	43. Ways To Piss off the Team

**WAYS TO PISS OFF…**

Vert:

1. Tell 'stupid blond guys' jokes in front of him and his family.

2. Say that he doesn't deserve to be a leader and tat Stanford was supposed to be the right choice.

3. Steal his porn collection and show it to Agura.

4. Blindfold him and have a random guy on the team rub his crotch while Agura is behind that one guy and makes it seem like it's her. Then take it off and watch him go off at them both.

5. Skip training. Then when they all come back and Vert asks where you were, blackmail him with some sort of dirty secret he has.

6: Call him a Nazi.

Agura:

1. Call her helpless in anything at all.

2. Tell her to get back in the kitchen.

3. Tell her that the only reason nearly all the guys turned gay was because of their past relationships with her.

4. Randomly tell a black joke and RUN LIKE HELL.

5. Say that Grace took Vert's innocence the night before.

Zoom:

1. Point a gun to Zen's forehead and tell Zoom that he better hand over a thousand for the boy, or else he'll get gang raped in a dark alley.

2. Say that he can't fight and is a total p*ssy.

3. Assassinate Master Takeyasu.

4. Hypnotize him into making out with Zen while he sleeps.

5. Tell him that he has a small p3nis because he's Asian.

6. Start cracking up if he's eating or making rice.

Spinner:

1. Delete all of his saved game files.

2. Take his laptop and pop out all the keys, then hide them in his pillow where his head would lay.

3. Make fun of his height and hair.

4. Call him a stupid Mexican.

5. Put peanut butter and toothpaste in his PS2

Sherman:

1. Say that he's on steroids.

2. Ask him if he's jumped the border.

3. If he makes a mistake, go off at him and don't let him reply. Then at the end, start walking off before turning back and flipping the bird on both hands and shouting, 'SCREW…YOOOUUUU!'

4. Twist his nipples while he sleeps.

5. Randomly run up to him and dry-hump him for five minutes non-stop.

Stanford:

1. Tell him that he has no soul.

2. Say that he can't sing and all his music is crap.

3. Give him a seemingly 'lactose free' milkshake that's actually filled with someone's jizz.

4. Put him in the middle of Vandal with no clothes.

5. Tell Grace that he had his p3nis cut off.

6. Record his singing and send it in to AFV.

Tezz:

1. Call him a Russian emo kid with cube-shaped balls and no intelligence.

2. Confuse him with Anti-Tezz (Who's… 'FABULOUS')

3. Break his gauntlet and say that A.J. did it.

4. Put IcyHot in the crotch of all his boxers and his ShockSuit, then watch the fireworks while he tries to figure out what's wrong.

5. Drug him with something that makes him orgasm nearly every ten minutes for a week and never tell him.

6. Tell him that A.J. said he wanted to do some NAUGHTY things to him.

7. Ask him if he's drunk at the moment.

A.J.:

1. Tell him that it's now illegal to ride in the back of pick-up trucks.

2. Break his snowboard and say exactly, 'YOUR FAT FOLDS BROKE THEM, NOT ME!'

3. Say that Vert really hates his guts and thinks he's an idiotic Canadian.

4. Make fun of Canada.

5. Call him 'Curly Q' every time he touches his hair or flips his bangs or brushes his hair, etc.

6. Mention something about how fat he looks in his suit.

7. Call him a hoser.

8. swap his Canada Dry with vokda and white wine and force him to drink it.


	44. Skyyyyyype

"Can we Skype everyone?" Vert asked Agura as the two sat at around eight o' clock at night.

On cue, Agura got on her laptop and got on her Skype. **(XD I wanna get through this) **She looked for Zoom's account and called him.

Immediately, Zoom moved over to his computer and waved, a little tired.

'What r u 2 doin?'

She smiled and placed an arm around Vert while typing back.

'We're gunna call evryone.'

He sighed and typed in something else. 'RAAAAHHH! Can I go now?'

Vert nodded. 'Ok'

Zoom signed off as Agura got Spinner and Sherman online.

'WAKE UUUUPPP!' She wrote.

About a minute later, a VERY tired Spinner brushed his hair out of his face.

'whut?'

'HAI SPIN! X3 Where's Sherman?'

It took the Cortez to keep from falling asleep, but he finally replied. 'Sleeping over thur. we're tired.'

'Ok, just wanted to see u 2! G-nite!'

Spinner sighed and logged off before falling on the bed again. The two had had a LONG day while cooking and playing with their little cousins for a family reunion.

"Who's next?" The blond asked and typed in Tezz's name.

Agura waited anxiously to see the Russian. Turns out he had his head down on the desk of his hotel room, breathing steadily.

Agura sent a little message to him, which made a little 'bing' sound.

At the noise, the Russian stirred and peered up from his arms, burrowing back down and freeing an arm to type.

Vert smiled and waved as their teammate let out a breath and started.

'It's 3:30 here. What do you want?' Tezz asked, rubbing his eyes.

'We just wanted to see you! We already skyped evry1 else (Cortezes and Zoom.)'

Tezz blinked at the recent inbox and flipped them off before logging off. 'Yea, and u can suck my dingle-berries for waking me up. I have 2 b a meeting tomorrow, and thanx 2 u two, I might b L8. Bitches.'

"OOooohhh! We just got owned by the Russian! Who's next? Stanford?"

Agura noticed that it was around one AM with the Brit.

Man! Messing with sleepy teammates was FUN! But they partially just gave up their electronics to the three best hackers of the team:

Spinner, Sherman, and most likely, Tezz.


	45. Hurghugaghughhgahhhh

"UGHHH…" Zoom cried, scraping some black tar-like substance off his cheek. "That was the grossest Battle Zone I've ever been in."

A.J. scowled, glaring at his darkened bangs. "Nughh! Neeehhh! Can someone help me get this out later?"

"I'll volunteer." Tezz started, taking off his suit top and his undershirt. "The tar didn't get in my vehicle much. Neither did those… insects…" He shivered, helping the Canadian to the kitchen sink.

Stanford continuously muttered curses about his hair and how sticky his interior would be now.

"Looks like Agura, Sherman, and I are the only ones not scathed much." Vert noted, helping Spinner make his way upstairs and to his bedroom. The remainder of the team got to their bathrooms, the three putting theirs on hold to save hot water for their injured teammates.

Soon, after everyone was out, they went to their own bathrooms. Vert decided to take a very short shower. He wanted his team put before him, so he cleaned out his hair and got the major spots, some residue like black paint still there on his forearms and legs.

Agura had slime caught in her braids, and Sherman's arms were completely covered from elbow down in the goo. By now, the team was gone, and the three all went at the same time to get clean. What sucked was that Vert let the Cortez use his bathroom after Agura had already disappeared into her room.

So when she forgot a towel, and the only other extra ones where in Vert's room or the laundry room, she shook her head. (Because it was laundry day)

She was already naked and cold because of the air conditioning and the sudden transition from her steamy bathroom to the freezing hallways was unbearable.

"Vert…!" She called from outside his door.

She and him were in a relationship where he could see her naked and she could see him naked, and they wouldn't care at all. And because Sherman was in his room, which was all the way down the hall, she would be okay, right?

The shivering huntress walked through his door and to the one leading to his private bathroom. She could hear the water running, meaning she could just come in. So she did. But… it wasn't Vert… sadly…

It was none other than Sherman. He was washing his face, so his eyes were closed. (Thankfully) But he was facing her. She grabbed a spare towel off the counter and darted out the door, silently closing it and running to her shower again. She blushed madly. Never had she seen anyone but Vert on the team naked before. Sure, there was that accident with Stanford and when he was sick and lost a few pounds in his waist. Then there was A.J. and when he was kicked in the crotch and Sage wasn't there to help him with a diagnosis. Then, when Tezz and Zoom got REALLY drunk and started taking off their clothes in the kitchen…

She beat her head against the tile wall and continued to clean her hair out.

* * *

Sherman and Agura walked in together to their usual table where everyone was talking about recent family updates and all that jazz. She couldn't focus. All she could think about was… _him…_

Ughh… it was disgusting to actually daydream about, but she couldn't help herself. He was so… buff. His stomach was tight, and his arms were muscular, and… everything about him was perfect. Not to mention how hot he looked with all that water running down his chest, and the way he ran his hands over his face and neck… and how his shoulders were stiff and relaxed at the same time… Oh! And the way h-

"You listening Agura?" Sherman asked.

"Hmm?" She popped up, blinking a few times and gazing into his eyes. He wrapped an arm around her. "You look a little off. You feelin' alright?" She giggled and leaned closer to him. She loved the smell of his Old Spice. "Just perfect… Juuust perfect…" She cooed, nuzzling into his chest.


	46. Sorry for the LONG Update

**Kerstin Belongs to Lolin' Girl**

* * *

"You look so stereotypical in that." Kerstin smirked, gesturing to her boyfriend's long black coat, gray scarf, and red leather gloves. He crossed his arms. "You should be talking, Miss, 'Berlin gets _so_ cold in the winter!'" He commented in as best of a German accent as he could, waiting for her to lace up her skates. "Did you ever do this when you were young?"

"Not at all. Too much work to be done with training, and dealing with trainers, and ugh… you know what I mean…" He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and helped her walk out to the abandoned ice. He helped her on, taking her hands as she slowly stepped out. "Is this ice thick enough?" He nodded and kissed her reddened cheek.

She didn't like the cold air because of her fire powers, but he insisted that she go with him on a little 'DATE'. He gave his little pout.

The big, watery eyes, the slightly sticking-out lip, and his cute little straight nose was too much.

"_Das macht Spaß..._ (This is fun)" She smirked, resting her chin on his shoulder for support. Tezz gripped her back gently before slowly moving to his right.

"Huahh!" She whimpered and clung to him. "Are we supposed to move?"

"Uhh, da." With that, he parted from her and started to make a complete circle around the lake. "From here," he started, digging his heel into the ice and starting off around it. She watched him. The way he angled his hips and was able to go backwards make her want to shout: 'WELL LOOK AT YOU!'. "to here," he stopped short of the mark he started form by about a foot. "I want you to skate."

Tezz took Kerstin's hand and led her to the mark. "Come on, you'll be fine. It won't hurt unless you land on your head. Plus, if that happens, I'll carry you to the hospital if I have to." She smiled and took his hand, interlocking her fingers with his. He guided her slowly, watching to be sure she wasn't slipping. "You feel alright?"

"Just… cold…" Kerstin replied, eyes still madly wide. Tezz grinned. "You know, I used to skate a lot when I was five." She nodded and was cautious of his body, making sure she wouldn't make him unbalanced. The two held onto each other until they made the full circle. She bumped into him as they stopped. "_Es tut mir leid. _(I'm sorry)" She murmured.

"It's okay..." Tezz kissed her nose and let go of her hand. "Now you try on your own."

She blinked and slowly started moving on her own, occasionally gripping his arm for support. "This sucks by the way."

"In Soviet Russia… lake skate on you, my dear." He said with two tongue rolls, creeping a hand to her waist.

The German stopped. "YOU SUCK!" She giggled. "Maybe after this we can get back home, take a shower, get some sleep…" He commented before licking up her neck. "Agh! You perv!" She laughed, leaning over to gather a clump of snow and tossing it to his head. Tezz chuckled and ignored her snowballs. "Come on. Let's at least ENJOY our date…"

He guided her back down to one side of the ice where their things were, and settled down on a bench. She took out something from a small bag she brought. "Here."

He gasped. "Yaaay~! You're so sweet~!" He wrapped his arms around her for bringing pelmeni. She blushed and giggled. "I tried. I watched you make it before, so I tried. It won't be as good, but oh well."

They both cautiously tried it, and continued eating silently. "I love you." He muttered. Kerstin leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Love you too." She wouldn't admit that she didn't care for the kinds of foods that came from Tezz's background, but seeing him swing his feet on his heels, and hum a little tune as he ate was worth it. Kerstin scooted closer to him and ate with him. "How did I do?" She set down her bowl, half empty. He had just finished when he replied. "Awesome… that's what a guy wants! TAKE NOTESSS… They want, one, a girl that has a good sense of humor and personality… two, is beautiful on the inside, and three, can cook. Aghh! I wanna marry you!"

She giggled and put their food away before continuing to talk. "Haven't you been trying to learn Russian?" He asked.

She nodded. "_Razve eto normalʹno do sih por_?" He smiled and leaned his forehead against hers. "_Udivitelʹnyĭ… Ya Lyublyu Tebya."_

_"Ich liebe dich."_ She cooed back and kissed his lips.


	47. Meooowww :3

"TEZZ! COME GET YOUR CAT OFF THE TABLE!" Vert called from downstairs. Stanford looked at the Russian Blue ten week old kitten and sighed. "So cute!" Tezz hurried down and scooped his pet up into his arms. "Aww… why don't we go play with the other kittens? Hmm?" He cooed as he carried the bundle of cuteness out into one area of the garage. He stepped over a small gate and sat in one corner as five other kittens hurried up to him.

**(CATS:**

**Russian Blue kitten (Tezz)**

**Bengal Kitten (Agura)**

**English Blue haired kitten (Stanford)**

**Korat Kitten (Zoom, the cat originated in Thailand)**

**Orange tabby (Spinner)**

**Maine Coon (Sherman)**

**Somali Kitten (Vert)**

**White Munchkin Kitten (A.J.)**

**NAMES:**

**A.J.: Blizzard (Male)**

**Stanford: Kali (Female)**

**Vert: Ziggy (Male)**

**Tezz: Olya (Female)**

**Agura: Hunter (Female)**

**Spinner: Carrot (Male)**

**Zoom: MooShu (Female)**

**Sherman: Theo (Male))**

Zoom walked downstairs with his kitten wrapped in a small blanket. "Hey Tezz, are you gunna kitten-sit if we have a StormShock?"

The Russian nodded before moving to let Zoom in as well. "Yeah." His kitten meowed lightly, pawing up his leg. "Aww~!" Zoom cried, snuggling with his and Vert's pet. "This was the best idea we've had in a while!" Agura's kitten purred and rubbed against Sherman's kitten. Theo and Hunter both started purring, which made Tezz squeal. "Don't tell anyone, but I have a weakness to kittens."

"Oh-ho… yeah, I can tell." He snickered as he let his cat play with Spinner's cat. There was a tiny conflict and some hissing, but they ended up playing together. Ziggy came between Hunter and Theo for a moment, Vert's cat apparently scaring the other off and snuggling with Hunter.

Kali and Blizzard were busy napping in the corner, and MooShu was eating. She got some food in her mouth and trotted over to Zoom before dropping it on his lap. "Aww!" He cooed, taking the pieces and feeding her. She mewled happily, purring and nibbling on his palm some. Olya suddenly started hissing and growling at Blizzard. The white kitten had gotten up from his nap and was now purring towards Olya. She hissed and scratched his cheek before trotting away behind her owner.

He rubbed his cheek on his shoulder and ran after her. Tezz picked up his kitten and placed her next to A.J.'s cat. She laid down and meowed as he plopped next to her. Blizzard gently licked her ear, earning a purr and a glare. He continued licking her until she rolled over onto her back. Blizzard nuzzled into her stomach and purred.

A.J. walked into the garage with a cup of milk in hand. "What's goin' on?" Zoom gazed back, MooShu snuggling in his arms, and Theo on his lap. The Canadian set down the drink, all the pets flocking to it and yapping at each other in cat-language to leave some for them. The blond smiled. "Kinda cute, doncha' think Tezz?" The Russian nodded. "Loving this..." Olya stretched and yawned before trotting to A.J.. She meowed gently, licking his leg. The blodn took the kitten into his arms and kissed her nose. MooShu curled back into her owner's lap.

A.J. took Blizzard and watched as he chased Tezz's cat around the little play-pin, climbing on her and licking her fur the wrong way. She hissed and rolled over, allowing him to lick her again. "Uh-oh... get it A.J.!" Ziggy and Hunter were busy napping while Carrot pawed at their tails. Theo and Kali ran over to A.J., climbing up to his thighs. Zoom snuggled up with MooShu just as the alarm went off, A.J. hurrying away from the pets and getting into his vehicle.


	48. Rated M QUOTES! 8D LONGEST EVAR!

**To nameless:**

**YES. KERSTIN IS MY FAVE OC. I'm just waiting until Lolin Girl gives me the 'OK', and THEN… O ho ho… Then USOBF5 2 will be possibly rated MA! XDDD JK**

**NSNSNSNSNS~! XDD LOALZ**

…

(From KnowSweat)

Zemerick: I spy something… tall… green… leafy…

Zug: IS IT A BRICK? ! 8D

Zemerick: ಠ_ಠ

* * *

Spinner: Ur #2 cuz u REPRESENT POO!

* * *

**(A/N: I KID U NOT… This was really a fight at KS in the cafeteria)**

All BF5 cast: *Eating dinner*

Tromp: This is pretty good for different species food…

Tezz: IKR? ! *Noms on potatoes*  
Rawkus: *Glaring as Krytus looked towards Sage evily*

Sage: ^-^

Rawkus: ^_^

Krytus: -_-'

Kalus: SO I SAID…-

Zug: And then before we went down there was this HUGE wasp queen-

(FINISH YOUR SALAD!)

All: *Turn to A.J., Sherman, Vert, Agura, Zoom, and Zen's table.*

Vert: *Standing up* FINISH YOUR SALAD AGURA!

Agura: *Laughing quietly*

Vert: FINISH IT!

Kyburi: *Stands up* NO! WHATEVER YOU DO! DO NOT FINISH IT!

Tromp and Master T.: O.G (Food falls off fork)

* * *

Vert: I crave CHEESE and the tacos were spicy! *Sobs into Agura's chest*

* * *

Tezz: Is it a tree?

A.J.: IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND!

* * *

A.J.: *Holds banana* THIS IS A PEN.

* * *

Spinner: We are the people of Wal-Mart!

All: *Groan*

* * *

Zoom: A CHEESE SMOOTHIE?

* * *

Zen: I would revive him, shout, 'UR A FAILURE!' in his face and slap him.

* * *

Zen: HAHA! Hey Zoom…?

Zoom: What?

Zen: Can I poot?

(Small poot)

Zoom: *Starts laughing quietly in his arms*

Zen: OwO

* * *

Stanford: Gimme a random letter, plz!

Sherman: PIE.

* * *

Stanford: CAL, CALLIE, CONNER CHRISTIAN. CCCCCCCCCCCC!

* * *

Zoom: And THAT'S why men have nipples!

Zen: O.o

* * *

Agura: he actually said 'Where u r?' so I said. 'I know don't'.

* * *

BF5 Cast: *All eating again*

Rawkus: This is REALLY good Sherman.

Dan: Hey, can I call you Gyro?

Master T.: Well I first got one black belt in seventh grade, then in tenth grade I-

Sever: Ah, whatever, it still doesn't matter to me…

A.J.: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

A.J., Vert, Agura, Tezz, Sherman, Spinner, and Zug: HAHAHAHAAA! *Start laughing very loudly*

RS5, Vandals, Sark, Kharamanos, Shadow Speeders, Rawkus, Grace, Sherriff Johnson, Grace, Zeke, Dan, and Jack: O.O

Kytren: (Randomly) ….HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

BF5: *Painting a playground*

Spinner: *Sits on one of those things with the spring that u can rock on or whatever, IDK XD* Zoom, u need to try this! *Awkwardly gets up*

(Later on)

Zoom: *Gets his back to the ground and Laughs*

Agura: *Looks at the guys*

Guys: *Wincing*

Agura: Hey Zoom, doesn't that hurt ur man parts?

Zoom: YES! But it's fun man! *Goes forwards* AGHH!

* * *

**(END KS!)**

Agura: *Sits on Vert's lap*

Vert: -w-

* * *

A.J.: *Walks by* (Cough) BIG NOSE… (Cough, Cough)

Tezz: *Punches A.J. and walks on* I blame my father…

A.J.: OKAY! :D *Winces*

* * *

And… because I have to…

Agura: U heard me! Strip! (Doesn't know that she's being recorded in her room)

Vert: Uhhh… O-Okay… (Knows and starts taking off his shirt)

Agura: *Blinks while he talks off his pants*

Spinner and Zoom: *Laughing hysterically*

Sherman: *Covering his face with his palms* Ohhh dear…

A.J.: *Giggling*

Stanford: *Just stares at Agura* Whaaa…?

Grace: Oh no… *Covers eyes like Sherman*

Tezz: *Facepalms*

(10 Minutes Later)

Vert and Agura: *Makin out naked*

Zoom: OH SH*T!

Spinner: F*ck…

Sherman: *Eye twitch*

Stanford: *Staring*

Tezz: *Watching and gaping*

Grace: (Already left)

A.J.: *Blinks and leans in some* Damn Vert!

Tezz: I don't think he knows where his hands are going… *Exhales deeply and fans self*

Zoom: I don't think he does either *Whistles*

…

(THE NEXT DAY)

Vert: *Walks in the kitchen and gets naughty glares* What?

All: *Laugh and giggle* Hehehe…

* * *

Krytus: *Cutely kisses Kyburi's nose* I love you… *Pulls her into a hug*

All: Awwwww!

* * *

Sherman: This is my older brother, Spinner! ISN'T HE SHIZZY? 8D

Vert: Uhh… hi?

Spinner: Suck my potato you damned ball eater!

Vert: O.o

…

Spinner: HEY THERE HASSELHOFF! I HAVE ANOTEHR WEAPON TO _DESTROY_ YOU!

Vert: GREAT, what is it? Another **(Beep)**? (For a good reason, not a cuss word)

* * *

Tezz: I found myself in what you would call… A SITUATION…

* * *

Spinner: I would KILL to have Tezz's initials!

Agura: T. V.?

Spinner: Uh, YEAH! All he watches are, 'educational' things, 'Lopez Tonight', 'Conan', 'Jerry Springer', and maybe 'Hell's Kitchen'.

* * *

Krytus: *Grabs Spinner and holds him against the wall*

Spinner: PLZ! DON'T SHOOT ME! I'M A VIRGIN! WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK THEY MAKE VIRGIN OLIVE OIL OUT OF? ! I MEAN IT'S PATHETIC ENOUGH AS IT IS!

* * *

A.J.: COFFEE!

* * *

Agura: Hey… A.J.?

A.J.: Ya?

Agura: I had a dream that I was u last night…

A.J.: Oh! That's nice!

Agura: …In the showerrr…

A.J.: O.O

Agura: *Whispers something in his ear*

A.J.: O/-/O *Slowly walks out*

* * *

Tezz: One of us will not return home…

(After the argument with Tromp)

Tezz: *Whimpers and leaves*

Tromp: WHOO! LATER WORLD! *Places hand on his butt* SMELL MAH ASS.

* * *

Tezz: OMG HOMESTUCK AGHHH!

Spinner: *Starts talking with him about it*

Both: *Laugh insanely*

Vert: O.o WTH?

* * *

Agura: LET ME TELL YOU WHAT HEAVEN WOULD BE…

All the police are British,

Stanford: *Comes out of nowhere in a SMEXAY uniform and suddenly just pushes Tezz over the couch and leans over him*

Tezz: O/-/O Da f*ck…?

Your lover is Italian…

Spinner: *Kisses Tezz passionately and teases him while speaking Italian smoothly*

All the cooks are the Freeench~!

A.J.: *Drizzles melted chocolate over Tezz and his naughty bits*

Tezz: O.O; I FEEL OFFENDED!

The bankers are Swiss…

…

And the engineers are all… GERMAAAAN~!

Kerstin: *Working on the Splitwire*

Tezz: *Watching from the corner and smirking with a pedo-smirk*

Kerstin: *Wipes her forehead*

Tezz: *Walks up behind her and takes her down* MINE! KOLKOLKOL! THIS ONE SHALL BE ONE WITH MOTHER RUSSIA!

Kerstin: NOUUU! *gets dragged away*

Stella: O.o

Zoom: *Looks* Ur not German r u?

Kgirl, Lolin' Girl, and I: PFFFFFFFF… *Nosebleed*

* * *

A.J.: *Says something*

Tezz: *Chokes on a grape*

Vert: *Has water come out his nose*

Spinner: *Dies laughing* X'D

Zoom: *Chokes on his ramen*

* * *

Tezz: *Looks at a RoChu comic (RussiaxChina) *Gasps* Awww! EUGHAGHPPLH THE LITTLE ANIMAL CRACKERS! *Squee*

Vert: Dear LORD…! *Backs away and hides all of the animal crackers away from Tezz and Zoom*

* * *

Spinner: SKRAAAAAA!

Zoom: RAAAHHHH!

Zen: ...Meerrr... :3

* * *

Agura: OH YEAH? WELL, YOU CAN JUST TAKE URSELF... AND... AND, EAT IT! *Walks out the diner*

Vert: O.O

* * *

Tezz: Moustache-Cashtache…

Vert: Okay, no more cartoons for Tezz. He's not ready for them.

* * *

Zen: *Takes his shirt off and pretends to start a strip tease with Zoom*

Friend in the Order: *Laughs* WOW… I can tap dat? *w*

Zen: *Sits on his lap* Of course!

Friend: *Grabs Zen's hips and dry humps him*

Zoom: XDD *Bursts into laughter*

Zen: Uhhhh! Ohhh!

Friend: *Evilly laughs and pulls Zen further up* Now give me a lap dance! XDD

Zen: *Actually straddles their friend and stares at him*

Master T.: I saw nothing… *Creeps away, traumatized*

* * *

Agura: *Taking a walk on a college campus with Tezz*

Tezz: So later on I finally figured out that I wasn't doing anything wrong, and I ended up with the level of fuel too high, therefore, I nearly blew my eyebrows off.

Agura: Oh wow, Tezz. *Holds his hand*

Four guys: *Walk on the other side of the street and look at them*

Guy 1: (Singing) Who's that ladyyy~? Sexy ladyyy~!

All: *Laugh*

Agura: Sorry boys, no need in singing to my boyfriend here… *Smirks*

Guys: Oohhhh! XDD

**(That happened to my friend Kelsey/Kelso)**

* * *

Zoom: *Pulls the covers off of Zen's bed* C'mon man.

Zen: *Flails* Go away! Pwese! Pweeese! I'm twying to take a nappy snooze!

* * *

Chibi-Tezz: YOU THERE! Become one with Mother Russia! :D

* * *

Tezz: *Puts on scarf and heavy white cloak*

Fangirls: EEEEEE! X333

* * *

Zoom: At first I was like… :D… But then I serious'd. -_-

* * *

A.J.: Tezz, those are brown contacts… what color are your eyes really…?

Tezz: THE COLOR OF DEATH… O.O I-I mean, BLUE! :D

* * *

Kytren: (About bewbs) Do they feel like bags of sand…?

Krytus: Yes, they feel like ba-a bag of sand.

Kytren: Do they SMELL like bags of sand…?

Krytus: No, they smell like… cabbage…

* * *

Tezz: *Evil laughter*

Vert: Tezz, ur Nazi is showing…

Tezz: Sorry…

* * *

Master T: How was school?

(School is on the 'campus' of The Order)

Zen: Fine. I had a test today.

Master T.: Just remember… if you get below a C, I put you below sea….

Zen: O.O Whaaa?

Zoom: Oh! AND YOU DON'T GO TO SEAWORLD, YOU GO TO A-WORLD… ASIAN STEREOTYPE…

* * *

Tezz: COOOMMMEE BLAUAUAAAACCCKKK…

Kytren: *Walks off*

Vert: Try something else!

Tezz: BAAAAUUUGHHHH! (Really low and scratchy)

Kytren: WTH man?

* * *

A.J.: *Walks in* Hay guys… does anyone have any meatloaf…?

* * *

Tezz: *Talking to his Russian friends and watch as they peel out of the driveway and one runs after them*

Friend on foot: COME BACK! BRASHAGANAHHH! *Angry swearing in Russian*

Tezz: BWAHAHAHA! *Laughs and holds his stomach before falling over and rolling around in the grass*

A.J.: Uh-oh…

All: What?

A.J.: Whenever Tezz laughs, SOMEONE'S GON GET F*CKED…

* * *

Vert: It's inappropriate touch Tuesday… *Glares at his team who are all in the garage*

…

Vert: *Pulls Spinner close to him and blows in his ear before licking it*

Spinner: BAUGAHAGHGH!

…

Vert: *Presses his chest to Agura's while getting water*

Agura: *Has her back pressed against the counter* O.O I'm only in a nightgown, ya know…

Vert: I know… No bra either… very nice…

Agura: O-O

…

Vert: Okay, now do this… *Lifts Sherman's arms above his head*

Sherman: O-O

Vert: *Suddenly grabs his crotch*

Sherman: *Laughs and sits back down after having a spazz attack*

…

Vert: *Kisses A.J.'s cheek*

A.J.: O-G

Vert: I luv u… I wanna have ur babies…

A.J.: *Twitch* Vert…?

Vert: *Kisses A.J.*

…

Stanford: *Reaches up to get some chocolate chips from the cupboard*

Vert: *Gropes Stanford's *ss*

Stanford: *Slolwy turns around*

…

Vert: *Pulls Zoom down for a second on his lap*

Zoom: GAAH!

…

Vert: *Jumps on Tezz*

Tezz: AGHH! NOOOUUU!

Vert: *Rips off Tezz's shirt*

All: *Laugh*

Tezz: O.O

Vert: *Starts unbuttoning Tezz's jeans and zips them down*

Tezz: NO TOUCH TUESDAYS! AGHH!

Vert: *Pulls his pants down to his knees*

Tezz: *Tries to roll over and screams*

Vert: *Puts a hand in his boxers and starts groping Tezz hardly* HAHA! PUBES! }8D

Tezz: *Screams and gets held down by Sherman and A.J.*

Vert: BWAHAHAHA! I LOVE TUESDAYS!

Tezz: *Bites his lip and groans* Oh God… Please! NOT IN FRONT OF AGURA!

Vert: Ohh I see, u wanna take this to the bedroom… *Keeps moving his hand*

Tezz: *Moans* NOOO!

* * *

Zen: Everyone was wearing FINGER-LESS GLOVES~! *Shows Zoom his hands*

Zoom: WHOAAAA-OO-OO-OO-OOOOOO~!

* * *

A.J.: ONE TWO THREE!

All RS5, Vandal, Sark, and BF5 guys: FAT, VIOLENT DYKES!

Vert: Always b*tchin all the time,

Zemerick: Always wishin they were guys,

Kytren: No one givin them the c*ck,

All: FAT VIOLENT DYKES!

Zoom: Always tryna' be the boss,

Kalus: Where's the kitchen r u lost?

Anti-Guys: Heat sum food up in a pot!

Sage, Anti-Sage, Kyburi, Anti-Kyburi, Agura, and Anti-Agura: *Take out skillets and frying pans and knifes and beat the guys*

Zoom: OMG MOAR COWBELL...

* * *

Agura: *Kicks Zoom* PLEASE, YOU IDIOT. I'M PMS'ING!

Zoom: *Cry Cry*

* * *

Tezz: Here's my letter to 'SANTA'…

'Dear Santa,

This yo lil' cousin, Tezzy. First I wanted to tell you, what a good azz mo-f*ckin boi I been dis year. I raised 22 dollars for Haiti. All I want this year, is a pound of purple pot… the ability to seduce any b*tch, (Goes on for about another minute)

F*ck you, I'm tired of yo bullsh*t!

Merry Christmas, B*TCH N*GGA.

Sincerely, Mo-foka Tezz.'

THAT'S MY LETTER.

* * *

Sherman's older brother that Sherman hasn't seen in about… seven years: So tell me what kind of man doesn't have a woman in bed with him every night? What, do you not like the ladies-?

Sherman: I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE THROAT!

Brother: Now, now! No one's judging you! There's nothing wrong in playing for another team! Well, there's always a little bit of self-love no-

Sherman: WHAT? !

Brother: … YOU MASTURBATE! EVERYONE DOES IT NOW AND AGAIN! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THA-

Sherman: THAT'S DISGUSTING!

(Scowl)

Brother: *Gasp* YOU MUST BE A SAINT! *0*

* * *

Vert: I said b*tch a lot didn't I…? B*TCH? 8D

* * *

Agura: Oh that's jelly! U jelly! What the hell is jelly? R u makin a PBn'J b*tch?

* * *

A.J.: He said A, B, C… Let me see yo dic-NO! I'M PLAYIN'! HE DIDN'T REALLY SAY THAT!

* * *

And now for a corny inside joke with 'The Crazy Game Fanatic'

Tezz: *Watches them all leave for a Storm Shock and Spinner goes in the game room before he slips over and wraps his arms around Sherman's shoulders* Hey sexy…

Sherman: *Evilly smirks* We're all alone Tezzy…

Tezz: I'm gunna glaze u like a Danish… (I LULZ'ed so hard! XP)

Sherman: With WHAT…?

Tezz: Oh you'll see…

…

(2 hours later…!)

Tezz: *Panting as he cuddles in Sherman's chest* Ohh, Sherman…

Sherman: *Wraps an arm around Tezz* Tezzy?

Tezz: *Kisses Sherman* I love you…

Sherman: *Pulls Tezz on him softly and buries his nose in Tezz's neck*

Tezz: *Squeals* Oh! Sherman~! Stop it! That tickles! (TOTALLY OOC when in love)

Sherman: *Purrs and kisses his neck*

Tezz: *Puts two hands on Sherman's sides and starts, DOIN STUFF… Kesesesese…*

Sherman: *Groans* Tezzy…

Tezz: *Kisses Sherman*

Sherman: *Pants*

Tezz: *Bites down his neck*

Sherman: *Bites lip*

Tezz: *Get's down to his waist*

Spinner: Bro where's that vile you used to get all that peanut butter off my game contr-AGHHH!

Sherman: *Pulls away* THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

Tezz: *Blushes and gets off of Sherman* He pulled me on top of him! I SWEAR!

Vert: We're home a-Oh geez…! *Cringes*

Agura: God Sherman!

Zoom: WOAH… OKAY… UM…

A.J.: Aww! The two brainiacs of the team are in love!

Stanford: Yeah, and by the looks of it, Tezz was on the bottom!

Tezz: *Growls*

Sherman: Oh God… *Buries his face in his hands* Look guys, we didn't do what you think we did…

Agura: Then why are Tezz's boxers on YOUR floor?

Vert: And why are there mystery liquids on the floor as well?

Zoom: And why is Tezz in your bed?

A.J.: And why do we have the tape of your room along with everyone else's that Sage is over-looking? ...Uh-oh…

(DOWNSTAIRS)

Sage: This is very interesting…

Sherman: *Runs down with a sheet wrapped around him and breaks the tape* THERE… DONE… WE NEVER DID A THING!

(UPSTAIRS)

Spinner: Did he try to kill you?

Zoom: Was it rape?

Vert: How can you NOT crack with being you and Sherman being HUGE?

Tezz: I-I'd rather not share Sherman's personal rendezvous with me… *Flushes and hides under the sheet*

Spinner: Yeah, he was totally a bottom.

Tezz: SHUT UUUP!

* * *

A.J.: STOP TALKING FRENCH! THIS IS NOT CANADA!

* * *

Vert: Man... I kinda want grape juice, yet I don't... I kinda want orange juice too...

Spinner: *Walks by* WHICH JUICE CAN I TAAAAAAAaaaake?

Vert: O.O

Spinner: IT'S-

Spinner, Sherman, Tezz, A.J., and Agura: -LUNCHTIME, LUNCHTIME, GOTTA PICK A JUICE AT LUNCH, TIIIME!

* * *

Tezz: I can has Russian-German babies NOW?

Kerstin: *Checks with Lolin' Girl* Uhh… NO! *Slaps*

Tezz: *Giggles like an idiot*

* * *

(These r Texts)

Vert: Staring contest, GO! O_O

Zoom: -.-

Vert: i won! :D

Zoom: I'm Asian, I can't lose...

Vert: BAHAHAHAA!

* * *

WHY BRITISH KIDS ARE BETTER THAN AMERICAN KIDS.

Vert: Dad, I wet my pants!

Dad: DAAH!... FFFF-…

…

Stanford: Daddy I went wee-wee in me britches!

Dad: Awww! ^^

* * *

Zoom: yeah, I was that little Asian baby with the squinted eyes that could barely speak Thai. But Zen's eyes were more squinted. He would laugh at EVERYTHING. I was in training once, when he was about three, and I fell, and he started laughing…

Tezz: I was cute, little dimples, and I never really laughed a lot. But I DID hug a dead squirrel.

Spinner: AWWWWW!

* * *

Zoom: You like me, _chai?_

Grace: NO, GO AWAY! *Walks off to take an order*

Zoom: Love u too babe~! ^w^

* * *

Spinner: *Looks over*

Priest: *Throwing up*

Sound Guy: Look, ur gunna have to do the sermon.

Spinner: WHAT? I'm just helping back in the tech booth! I can't preach! *Looks out at the rest of the team in their best clothes, waiting in the front row*

Sound Guy: Well, I know you can do it! Now go on! *Gently hurries him out on stage*

Spinner: *Blinks at everyone* Uhh… PRAISE AND WORSHIP TIME! *Hurries down as everyone stands and the lights go dim*

Sherman: What the heck man?

Spinner: The priest was throwing up and when I was working, some dude told me I would have to do it! I CAN'T PREACH-! *Turns to the front* Oh, happy day! Happy Day~! You washed my sin away~! *Turns* I CAN'T PREACH!

(Fifteen minutes later)

Spinner: Uhh… OFFERING TIME!

(Five minutes later)

Spinner U-Uhh… *Loosens tie* Umm… Hi there! Good morning!

Church: Good morning!

Spinner: *Smiles* Hehe… well, uhh… Pastor John is a little sick right now, and umm… I-I'll be filling in for him and just doing… whatever… So um… T-Turn to Genesis Chapter one verse one.

(About 45 minutes later)

Spinner: So yeah! I guess that's all I have…! Uhh… *Looks at Vert and Tezz who are wildly making gestures*

Tezz: (Whispers to himself) Noo! NONONONONO! End the sermon! Don't re-start it again! END IT!

Spinner: Umm… yeah… so… (Doesn't know how to end) I-If you want to get closer to God… DO-IT. *Walks off stage*

Vert: *Facepalms*

Everyone: *Cheers*

Spinner: O.O

…

(At dinner)

Spinner: So then after that horrible sermon SEVEN PEOPLE CAME UP TO ACCEPT CHRIST!

BF5: OoO *Choke on food*

Zoom: SAY WHAAAAT?

* * *

A.J.: And if all else fails… YOU BEAT, THEY, ASS. Example!

…

Tezz: *Walks by A.J. and accidently bumps into his side while carrying a few boxes* I'm sor-

A.J.: I'M TIRED OF THIS MESS! *Punches Tezz in the jaw and runs away*

* * *

Agura: *Reading*

Vert: Hey Agura, we-

Agura: AGHHH! ENUFFFFFF! *Screams and starts completely destroying the room*

All: O.o'

* * *

Tezz: (Sleeping in his cage on Vandal) Zzzz… Zzzz…

?: *Walks up to the cage and saws off the bars*

Tezz: *Wakes up and crawls away and shakes his head rapidly* GO AWAY! *Tosses a few sticks and lots of dirt and sand* GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWA-!

Vert: O.O DUDE! CHILL!

Tezz: *Pants*

Agura: WTH man? *Rubs her eyes and spits*

Tezz: Oh… s-sorry… can we go now…? P-PLEASE…?

* * *

Sherman: *Starts laughing hysterically*

* * *

Tezz: (Repairing stuff in the basement) *Holds a pipe between his legs, and IT'S SUGGESTIVE*

A.J.: *Watching*

Tezz: *Grips the pipe for a few seconds before re-adjusting himself to pull the pipe up more between his legs*

A.J.: (Whispers to himself all creeper-ish) Mmmhmmm… *Gasps* Obby! Stroke that pipe NICE N' SLOW… Mmm… *Licks lips*

Tezz: *Adjusts again and takes out a different tool so he's balancing about five things*

A.J.: *Sucks in air through his teeth* I think Tezzy's lookin' a little sexy today… Maybe he needs to get all in that white stuff back in Canada today… and I'm not talkin' about just the snow… Russian tight ass… I wonder what he uses vodka for besides drinking… maybe he likes to use it as lube…

Tezz: WTF are you doing?

A.J.: Hmm? *Blushes MADLY*

Tezz: *Stares*

A.J.: *Stares*

Tezz: *Leans in some and whispers something about the vodka and his pipe and then licks A.J.'s ear before walking off*

A.J.: OwO *Stumbles back and walks off to the bathroom*

* * *

Vert: WE ARE ALL AWARE OF YOUR PARTS SPINNER, THANK YOU. *Shoves*

* * *

Zoom: *Turns and looks down the road* HOLY MOTHER **** IT'S AN ICE CREAM TRUUUCK! *Runs after it* Ahahahahaa! TRALALALALALAA!

All: ^^'

* * *

Zoom, Vert, and Spinner: HOLY MOTHER F*** IT'S AN ICE CREAM TRUCK! HOLY MOTHER F*** IT'S AN ICE CREAM TRUCK! HOLY MOTHER F*** IT'S AN ICE CREAM TRUCK!

Zen: GIMME ICE CREAM B***TCH!

Zoom, Zen, Vert, Sherman, Spinner, Stanford, Tezz, and A.J.: GIMME ICE CREAM B***TCH!

* * *

Stanford: Hello, my name is Brock!

Spinner: HALLO, _MY_ NAME IS BROCK!

Stanford: I live in a house down the street!

Spinner: _I_ live in a house down the street!

Stanford: I'm wearing clean underwear!

Spinner: You are not…-

Stanford: U GOT ME! 8D

* * *

Vert: Killing someone GIVES ME A B0NER! }:D HAHA!

Tezz: *In dark voice* All I have to do is think about killing someone and I get an erection…

All: O.O

Tezz: XDDD 'DELOCATED'! I got u!

* * *

Spinner: No kitteh, this is mah pot pie!

Little Kitten: Mew!

Spinner: No kitteh! NOU!

Kitten: *Paws at the pot pie* Meww…! ^^

Spinner: A.J.! UR KITTEH'S BEING NEEDY AGAIN AND WANTS MAH FOODZ!

Kitten: *Hisses*

A.J.: *Walks in* Awww… did Spinner scare you with his face? *Snuggles*

Kitten: Mew! *Snuggles back*

…

A.J.: *Holds up kitten to Tezz then puts her in his arms* **FEEL HOW CUTE SHE IS!**

Tezz: -.-

Kitten: (HUGE eyes! X3) =3 Mew!

Tezz: *Tries to hold it in*

Kitten: *Purrs and nuzzles in Tezz's chest*

Tezz: *Squeals and cuddles up with the kitteh* SQUEEEEEE! SHE'S TOO CUTE!

Kitten: X3 Meeew! *Sneezes*

Tezz: *Squeals again* EEEEEEE~! IT'S SO CUUUTEE! (Heart explodes)

Kitten: *Small whine* Meeew!

Tezz: *Dies on the floor*

* * *

Agura: FUDGEPACK.

* * *

Zen: *Holding an empty bottle of vodka* Who da f*ck likes applesaws…?

Zoom: *Hanging off his bed* OMIGAWD I LOVE dat stuff!

Zen: Du-she? YOU PULLIN MAH LEGS-ES!

Zoom: No wayz dude, represent wit da LUUVVV!

Zen: You don't be getting all in mah grills! I smak yo $$!

Zoom: Dun make me come up there or I'll come and cook chicken on yo grillz!

Zen: … Neva… MAN-WHORE…

* * *

Vert: Uhhh… we won't be done cleaning for another two hours.

Sherman: _CHE PALLE!_ (What a drag, Italian)

A.J.: _Que aspire…_ (That sucks, French)

Spinner: _¿Hablas en serio__? _(Are you serious?, Spanish)  
Tezz: _My zdesʹ uzhe v techenie po kraĭnyeĭ mere za shestʹ_ (We've been here for at least six, Russian)

Vert: OwO LOL. Whut?

* * *

Zoom: *Sleeping*

Zen: *Jumps on his bed wearing only a shirt* ZOOOM! I'M BROKEN! D8

Zoom: What? What do u mean?

Zen: *Whimpers* Down there… I-I'm broken…

Zoom: WTH. ಠ_ಠ

Zen: I'M BROKEEEEN!

Zoom: *Looks carefully* Ur just going through PUBERTY you DUMBF*CK.

* * *

Zoom: (In a FAN-TABULOUS ACCENT) F*ck you with something hard and sand-papery!

Zen: Ahahahahahaa!

* * *

Spinner: look at that hot dog… AWWW YEAAA…

Sherman: Yeah, looks like a BIG PILE OF SH*T!

Both: O.O

* * *

Tezz: Go off to bed.

Bruno and Serafina: Awww…

Bruno: But we're not tiredddd!

Kerstin: I'll tell you both a nice German bedtime story! ^^

Both: YAY! 8D

Kerstin: There once was a boy who likes to suck his thumbs. His mother asked him to stop, but he wouldn't! *Looks adorably at Bruno*

Bruno: ^-^

Kerstin: So she cut off his thumbs. Now he has no thumbs. Goodnight.

Bruno: O.G *Eyes water up* M-Mommy? !

Kerstin: *Kisses them and walks out of the room*

Tezz: Wow…

Kerstin: Well it's better than your story about those demon wolves dragging a little boy out of his bed and tearing the flesh off his face!

Tezz: Yeaaah… ^^ I luv u!

Kerstin: ^w^ Luvz u too

* * *

Anti-Zoom: Talk to the hand cuz the wrist is pissed.

All: OHHHH!

* * *

Vert: Yes, but in THIS HOUSE… daddy makes the decision, mommy makes a sandwich…

Agura: HUUUUHHH… *Walks back into the kitchen*

* * *

Grace: (To Agura) You can tell if a guy's good in bed or not if he's intelligent, and has a really funny accent…

Stanford: *Walks up* ESCUSE MAY. DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE LIBRARY BE?

* * *

Vert: GET LOW, GET-GET LOW, DAMN, I'M SUCH A PARTY WHORE! 8D

* * *

Kerstin: What's the difference between sex, and GOOD sex?

Tezz: UR IN IT. 8| AND I MAKE YOU ORGAZIM EVERYTIME I KISS YOU.

Kerstin: O.O; RLLY?

Tezz: Yues. *Jumps on her and noms on her neck*

* * *

A.J.: B*tch plz, I GOT THE REFLEXES OF A COW.

* * *

Grace: (Singing that 'I wanna have yo babies' song) *Kisses Stanford*

Stanford: DOES NOT WANT! Dx}

* * *

Zen: Hai Zoom!

Zoom: Ready for our little 'date'? (Hoping to drug Zen's drink)

Zen: Yeah! ^w^ *Takes his hand* I love u… *Kisses him*

Zoom: I luv u too…

Zen: OwO

Zoom: Zenny is mine and ONLY mine… if anyone tries to touch my Zenny, I'll burn his body into a crisp… Okay? ^-^

Zen: OxO Y-Yeah…

* * *

Zoom: Oooh! My rapist sense is tingling…!

* * *

Stanford: Do you like M&M's? I LIKE M&M'S LIKE I LIKE MY TEA! With milk and one sugar, _por favor_… *Troll Face*

* * *

Spinner: I AM AN ANGRY POTATO AND I HOPE YOU GET CANCER!

Tezz: Oh! Well that was really uncalled for! TAKE THAT BACK, YOU DICK!

All: Huzzah for no censorship! 8D

* * *

A.J.: Why did all the dinosaurs die out?

Vert: CUZ U TOUCH YERSELF AT NIGHT.

A.J.: … That is so overused and immature…

* * *

Vert: Say milkshake.

Zoom: Milkshake.

Vert: Now say milk.

Zoom: …Melk.

Vert: A-Are you hearing this?

Agura: Yeah, the man wants a glass of mulk!

Vert: O.G _**'Mulk?'**_

Agura: GIVE HIM THE MULK VERT!

Anti-A.J.: Agura.

Agura: Hmm?

Anti-A.J.: Inside voices please…

Agura: Srry… my white friends…

* * *

Kytren: LET'S GO EAT SUM PEOPLE! *Runs off* WHOOO!

* * *

Sherman: Yeah! Spanish has a lot of tongue rolls, Thai just rolls right of the tongue, and Russian has a lot of noises that sound like cats trying to cough up a hairball!

Tezz: I am offended.

Vert: When are you not offended?

Tezz: When we talk about fat Americans….. SHUSH-SHAAA! *Disappears*

* * *

Stanford: So it _was_ you…?

Zoom: (All Asian-like XD) YOU AN ASS!

* * *

**(Kgirl1)**

Stanford: *Accidently drives into the Tangler*

All guys: 20 POINTS! 8D

* * *

Stanford: EVEN TEZZ'LL LAUGH AT IT!

Tezz: What?

Spinner: MASTURBATORIUM…

Tezz: (Knows what that is cuz he's smar-tur…) …*Chuckles*

Vert: XDDD

Tezz: U guys know what that is, right?

Spinner: Psh-NO!

Tezz: It's where you… uh… PRODOUCE the samples to be a sperm donor.

All: …

Zoom: …*Covers mouth all Asian style* Heehee!

* * *

Stanford: Face it Tezz! Anything you can do, I CAN DO BETTER.

Tezz: I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU.

Stanford: NO YOU CAN'T!

Tezz: YES I CAN!

Stanford: NO YOU CAN'T!

Tezz: *Stands up* Yes I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN~!

All: *LULZ*

* * *

Stanford: WHAT THE HELL? DO YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF GRUDGE AGAINST ME?

Tezz: No! *Looks up* Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! ^-^ Wait a second, YES I DO. :3

* * *

Stanford: *Looks around and suddenly puts on Vert's Suit. Then heads out to the garage and stands in the cockpit of the Saber with his hands on his hips* I'm King Vert and I'm King of the hill, wawawawawa… (Laughing)

Vert: What r u doing?

Stanford: OwO

* * *

Zen: *Walks up to the camera on a tri-pod* LADIES! F*CK WIT CHA BOI! PLEEASE! You can't see me cuz I'm a four foot three gangsta, BUT IT DON'T MATTER!

Zoom: *Laughing very hardly*

* * *

Jay and Vert: *Stare at one of Vert's friends.

Vert: *Exhales* O.O

Friend: O.O Uhh… Vert… Why don't you come over and eat with me today?

Vert: S-Sure… I suppose…

(1 hour later)

Jay: *Gets a little food on his face*

Vert: Heey… that's not very proper…

Friend and Vert: *Look at each other and gasp*

(IN THE PAST…)

Vert: *Wiping his friend's cheek* Hey, that's not very polite…

(PRESENT…)

Both: *Gasp*

Jay: What?

* * *

A.J.: *Strumming his guitar* Your breath smells like sexy nachos! X33

* * *

Spinner: So the waitress said, 'If you think THAT's gross, wait 'till you see how all of our donuts, bagels, and curly fries are made…'

All guys: *Burst out laughing*

Grace and Agura: Whaaa?

Zoom: Srry ladies…

Spinner: You don't got the willie, u don't get the silly…

(AMERICAN DAD! XD)

* * *

Kerstin: Wait a second… didn't the doctor say you had (Says something extremely fancy and high-tech and awesome, and blaahhh!)

Tezz: *Sighs* C'mon… can we just get to this? Plzzz? *Takes off his boxers*

Kerstin: -_- he said you had (Disease/diagnosis that isn't deadly, HURRHURR…)

Tezz: Yeah, but no one knows EXACTLY what that means! C'mooonnn… *Snuggle snuggle snuggle*

Kerstin: TEZZ. IT MEANS THAT UR BALLS HAVE TOO MUCH SPERM AND SH*T. O^O SO I'M GUNNA GET PREGGERS.

Tezz: O/v/O And…?

Kerstin: *Blink* I'm not having sex with u… And right now, I don't care for your awesome ten meters…

Tezz: RAWRRR…~! *Snuggles and pulls up the blanket over his junk* ;( You make me sad…

Kerstin: *Turns* Whatevs…

Tezz: *CRYCRYCRY~!*

Kerstin: *Turns* Look, I said you had ten meters…!

Tezz: *Glomps* Yay! -v-

* * *

Vert: *Epicly turns*

('Sonic 2: Robotnick's Theme' starts playing, but a techno remix… HELL YEAH…)

_(DO-do-do-DO-do-do-DO, DO-DO, DOOO, DOOO, DOO, DOOO…!)_

Krytus: (Only Sonic fans and a few YTP fans would understand this…) Snoo**PING AS** usual I see… *Sends out a Vert robot, Prototype 1*

* * *

Vert: *Points to Agura* GREEN HOVER! *Points to Stanford* PURPLE FRENZY! *Points to Zoom* YELLOW DRILL! *Points to Sherman* BLUE CUBE! *Points to Spinner* CYAN LASER! *Points to Tezz* ORANGE ROCKET! *Points to self* RED WIIIIISP! OH YEAAA~!

Spinner: Wow… even I'm not THAT obsessed with Sonic Colors…

* * *

Tezz: *Turns up his dubstep and glares at BF5* (Shayning-'New York Dreams')

Stanford: *Laughs* This is just techno! This isn't DUBSTEP!

Tezz: Wait for it…

(Dubstep beats kick in out of nowhere)

Tezz: Wahaha… *Walks away*

All: O0O

Stanford: That's dubstep… (He should know, he mixes music!)

* * *

A.J.: *Sitting down with his pet polar bear*

Polar Bear: *Looks up* You are?

A.J.: (All bashful) I'm Canada…! ^-^;

Zoom: *Walks by with a kitten clinging to his chest*

Kitten: REEEAEARR…

* * *

BF5: (Watching Curiosity: Why is Sex Fun?)

Tezz, Sage and Sherman: -.- Whatevs. *Watch it with no emotion*

Agura: *Hides behind the couch*

Vert: O/-/O

Spinner: *Giggling like crazy*

Zoom: *Bursts out laughing at one point and stops*

Stanford: *Turns to Agura* I am so sorry for you…

Agura: -_-' Not helping Stan

A.J.: I don't think I'm even old enuff to watch this… but OK! *Watches with no emotion*

* * *

Zen: *Stands up* Kay, guys, stand in a line.

All guys: *Get in a line*

Zen: Stay where u r or else… *Kicks Vert in the nuts*

Vert: AGGHHH! *Falls over*

Zen: *Kicks all the guys*

Guys: *Whimpering on the floor*

Zoom: (Only one left)

Zen: *Kicks him*

Zoom: -_- *Kicks Zen*

Zen: O.O *Winces some*

Spinner: HOOOOOWWW?

Zen: Easy. Zoom's taken so many nut shots that he's immune. I am too…

Zoom: *Kicks him again*

Zen: *Falls over* OOHHHH!

Zoom: No ur not.

* * *

Everyone: Do it Stanford! Do the voice! Do it!

Stanford: Oh alright! Fine! *Slicks some of his hair back and then spikes his hair up in the front* IT'S RAW! IT'S RAW! YOU BLOODY, FAT COW! YOU'LL KILL SOMEONE!

All: *Laugh*

(Chef Gordon Ramsay, WHO I AM IN LOVE WITH)

* * *

Zoom: *Stands up* WHAAAAAAAAT? !

Zen: GAAAME OVER! *Gasps and slams fists on the table* MAHJONG, BEETCH! }8D

Master T.: *Sigh*

Charles: *Facepalm* Oh Zen…

* * *

Tezz: *Playing chapayev*

Sergei: *Sighs*

Tezz's older brother: *Makes a move*

Tezz: F******CKKK!

Sergei: ^-^ Oh Tezz

* * *

Zen: Oah! HERRO!

Zoom: Tsunami, u may dink u big, BUT YOU F*CKING WITH GODZIRRA!

* * *

Stanford: *Doing something evil and secret in his room* Finally, I get to show those wankers who I REALLY am… hehehee! *Mixes some of Sherman and Tezz's chemicals with some poison and spreads it over some cake.*

Vert: Yo Stan! What r u doin'~? :D

Stanford: I say, haven't you ever heard of KNOCKING? }8D

* * *

Agura: *Puts a hand up Sherman's shirt* Bahuagahghhh… *Nosebleed*

Sherman: O-o

Stanford: *Looks at stomach* D;

* * *

Vert: *Teaching*

Tezz: Psst…

Sherman: What…?

Tezz: Hey, I thought of something funnier than 24…

Sherman: Lemme hear it…

Tezz:… TWENTY-FIIIIVE…

Both: *Keep in laughs*

Vert: Do you two, need to step out of the room for a second?

* * *

Tezz: *Comes out in a red orange and black outfit*

BF5: *Giggle*

Tezz: *Narrows eyes and gets into his line*

Agura: Tezz is so cute…

Vert: *Evil look*

Agura: ^^;

Tezz and his brothers, cousins, friends, other peoples: *Start doing Cossack dances and flips and twirls, and awesomeness*

Spinner: D8… Russians-1, Gravity-0

Agura: (like MJ) AAOOW! 8DDD *Watches*

* * *

Agura: *Sits down on the couch*

Stanford: *Scoots closer* Hai there…

Agura: *Sighs* Oh boy… *Leaves*

Stanford: *Pulls out a 'Forever Alone' picture and tapes it over his face and sits*

* * *

Kerstin: HAAAIL TO THE GERMAN BLOOD!

Tezz: *Folds arms*

Kerstin: Oh, and everyone will become one with Mother Russia…

Tezz: Mother Russia and Father Germany. ^.^

Kerstin: Yea, go make me a sandwich.

* * *

Zoom: *Sitting on the couch*

Tezz: *Walks in and kneels beside him* Zoom…

Zoom: Oh God…

Tezz: Become one with Mother Russia?

Zoom: Tezz, I've told you a thousand times! NO!

Tezz: No! Not with the country… *Takes his hand and kisses his cheek* I mean become one with me…

Zoom: O.O Tezz? W-What do you mean?

Tezz: I mean… I want to have sex with you…

Zoom: OmG OMG-WTF-ROFL-BBQ…

Tezz: *Kisses him again*

(One hour later)

Zoom: *Gasping for air*

Tezz: *Snuggles in his chest* -_- *Emotionless*

Zoom: *Shivers*

* * *

Tezz: THIS… IS… VODKAAAA~! 8D

* * *

Stanford: I say… is Russia still communist?

Tezz: No…

Stanford: NON-COMMIE! *Glomps*

Tezz: O.O

* * *

Vert: (Calls Russia) Hey Russia dude! U think u could make me like, 10,000 25cm cond0ms?  
Tezz: Whaa? I-I don't think we've ever made them that size before!  
Vert: This comes straight from my boss, so u better get on it! :D  
Tezz: *Whimpers* I suppose we could figure out a way to make them! ... Man, I feel a little sad!  
(LATER)  
Boss: hey, our party favors from Russia r here! 8D  
Vert: Haaa! |D *Opens box* Ah! 8D *Twitch* That's funny, the box they sent us is extra small!  
Boss: WHAT? Wait, HOW LONG IS 25 cm ANYWAY?

TO THIS, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE LOGICAL EXPLANATION… TEZZ HAS AN IMPOSSIBLY LARGE D*CK.

All guys: *Turn and glare*

Agura: *Turns and clings to his arm*

Kyburi, Anti-Kyburi, Anti-Agura, and Sage: *All fight over him and nearly rip his shirt off*

Tezz: O/-/O *Sinks down in his chair*

Guys: *Glare harder*

Zoom: *Growls*

* * *

Vert: *Looks at the chips in the middle of the table at a Mexican restaurant*  
Spinner: What's wrong Vert?  
Vert: *Takes the basket* (In Spanish accent) THESE ARE THE LORD'S CHEEPS... (Chips)  
A.J. and Agura: *Die laughing*

* * *

Zoom: hey Zen! You ever hear of a thing called yaoi?

Zen: Nnnno I don't think so…

Zoom: *Clicks on a recent story that I'm working on* Read this paragraph… out loud.

Zen: 'Zoom took in a deep, deep breath before… slowly thr… thrusting his hips upwards and gripping the other's hips… Zen… gasped, and… groaned lou'-OHHHH NOOOO… *Gets up* NONONONONO…! *Runs out and into his room* NUEEEEHHHHH! *Gets under the sheets and humps his pillow* MUST… GET… IMAGE OUT OF… HEAD… Nuughhhh~!

Master T.: You okay?

Zen: F-Fine… LEAVE ME ALONE… *Hump Hump Hump*

Master T.: O.o

Zoom: Wahahaa… Little does he know that I WROTE THAT FIC… *Locks his door before taking his laptop into his private bathroom. KESESESESESE~!* WAHAHAHHAAA! *Pulls out mini-fridge and just lies in the bathtub and noms and watches RWJ for two days.*

* * *

Vert: MY MOM…! ಥωಥ

* * *

Zen: POCKET SAND! SHUSHAAA! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Zoom: MAH EYEZ!

* * *

Stanford: NOW, FOR THE ENGLISH CURSE OF FOOD, AND BAD TEETH!

* * *

Stanford: But mommy says I'm beautiful!

A.J.: SHUT THE F-CK UP KID UR UGLY.

Both: *Laugh*

* * *

Zoom: AGHH I FEEL SICK… *Leans on Vert*

* * *

Vert, Tezz, and Zoom: *Creep past a batch of aliens* (The three are in costumes)

Vert: C'mon, I think I found the way in!

Two aliens: *Walk down the hall*

Zoom: *Jumps on Vert*

Vert: *Presses against the wall*

Tezz: (Tired from walking) *Keeps going*

Zoom: (Whisper-yells) TEZZ!

Tezz: *Just walks past the aliens like normal* WALK WITH POISE…

Vert and Zoom: O.o *Do the same*

* * *

Spinner: Then, they keep sayin', 'get up' 'get up' 'get up' 'get up'… OKAY B*TCH I'M UP! AND I PUT MY HANDS UP TO THE SOUND. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

* * *

Zoom: Guys, this is my cousin, Kiyoko.

Kiyoko: *Bows* Ni Hao. *Walks to the Chopper with dramatic cherry blossom petals in the BG and traditional Chinese/Japanese music*

Vert: He is so beautifurr, writh arr the cherry brossoms in the background.

Tezz: *Spits out his Sprite and laughs on A.J.'s shoulder.

Zoom: WTH *Wipes the sprite off his face*

* * *

Stanford: Just me and Pez!

Tezz: TEZZ.

Stanford: Becky…

* * *

Zen: (Up doing a skit on the stage at Zeke's) So I called Zoom one day, and he wasn't picking up. It's not like he doesn't, he actually nearly always answers. So, my paranoid-self, I call him about six times and this is… EXACTLY, how it goes…

BEEEEP, Oh, uh, Zoom, it's Zen, I just got out of the shower I thought you might have called. Okay, I'll talk to you later, bye!

Zoom: *Laughs hardly*

Zen: Then, BEEEP. Hey, Zoom, I just wantedtoanIthought I heard my phone ring. I guess not, call me back when u get the chance, OKAY BYE! :D

(Laughing)

Zen: BEEEEP. Hey Zoom, it's been a couple of minutes, I thought u might have checked ur phone now. Now this is going to be a little awkward but…. I love you.

All: *Squeal*

Zen: I want to make noodles shaped like your anatomy…~!

All: *Laughing and squealing*

Zoom: *Burrows his face in his hands and giggles*

Zen: …BIG noodles~!

Agura: *Screams and laughs in Vert's chest*

Zen: Okay yeah, call me back! ;D

* * *

Vert: Gimme that meat

Tezz: WOAAAHHH! XD

AJ: OwO

Agura: *Dies*

* * *

Vert: OHHH! CAN I GET A-

Agura: NO! D8{

All: *Laugh*

* * *

Zoom: This girl's skin is yerrow, she is Asian like MEEE~! 8D

* * *

A.J.: *Standing outside naked while thinking to himself*

Stanford: *Screams* AUAAAAHHHH~! YOU FORGOT TO CLOTHE YOURSELF!

A.J.: Oh Stan… *Walks towards him* C'mon, u gotta learn how to get into the spirit of things! Take of ur silly clothes! *Tries to take Stanford's shirt off* Or I'll take them off for you… OHHONHONHONHON…

Stanford: *Screams again* GET AWAY FROM ME, FROG! D8{

A.J.: *Evilly laughs*

(Gunshot)

Both: *Pause and turn*

Zoom: *Holding the gun* You should know better than forcing a Brit into nudity.

…

Agura: the male form is rendered kind of silly. Especially when throwing a javelin. I mean, really. Picture it! *Shivers*

All guys: *Laugh insanely*

* * *

Zoom: MAN IT'S COLD I'M FREEZING MY BERRIES OFF HERE!

A.J.: OwO Oh plz. I love this weather!

Tezz: Winter can suck on my jingle bells. *Walks away*

* * *

Zen: Drano… ya' know that stuff that unclogs ur sinks and toilets? YOU'LL GO THROUGH WOMEN LIKE THAT?

Sherman: Oh, THAT IS SEXY.

* * *

Tezz: Yeah, but if that song plays in the club, I'mma start shakin' mah ass, and start CAUSIN' damage on the mother f*ckin dance floor.

All: *Giggle*

* * *

**THE CRAZY GAME FANATIC, KGIRL, AND YUKI HENO ARE NEVER TO SPEAK OF THIS…**

Zoom: DO U REALLY, HONEST TO GOD, THINK I'M GUNNA LISTEN TO YOU? DO YOU? NO, I WON'T. I SAY WHAT THE F*CK I WANT AND WHEN I SAID WHAT I SAID EARLIER, I SAID 'B*TCH'... NOT THE ACTUAL WORD U DUMB-F*CK!  
THEN, Y U GOTTA RIP ON ZEN? HE WOULD PROBABLY BE BETTER THAN YOU IN REAL LIFE! SHOOT, IF HE WAS HERE, I WOULD PAY THAT LITTLE ASIAN MOTHERF*CKER TO WHOOP YO $$ UP AND DOWN MY FRONT LAWN FOR TWO HOURS STRAIGHT!

* * *

Zen: YEAHHH! HIGH-FIVE!

Zoom: … No…

Zen: ¯\(ºдಠ)/¯

* * *

BF5: *Playing an Orchestral song*

Stanford: *Suddenly stops playing, puts his cello down, and walks out of the room*

Everyone: (WTF?) *Keep playing*

(7 minutes later)

Stanford *Returns as Sherman's talking*

Sherman: What happened?

Stanford: I threw up, and now I feel better! :D

* * *

BF5: *On their laptops, recording stuff while Sage teaches.

Spinner: (Actually playing a game) …OH WHAT THE F-… *Covers mouth and giggles*

Sage: ? Whut? LOLZ

* * *

Tezz: Trolololol

Agura: LMAO

Zoom: (Does Troll face) Problem?

Vert: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU-

Spinner: O rly?

Sherman: ME GUSTA...

Stanford: *Does not impressed face*

A.J.: *Rips off face to reveal pedo bear*

All: NUUUUU! *Run away* D:}

* * *

Tezz: *Sitting at his desk eating and looking up something*

Bruno: DAAAAAAAD~!

Tezz: *Rolls eyes and smirks*

Serafina: I lost a toof twoday... ('tooth' HEHE! X3)

Tezz: That's good. Did it bleed?

Kerstin: *Smacks him*

Tezz: *Hands Bruno some of his sammach*

Bruno: *Noms it*

Kerstin: *Sits*

Tezz: What's wrong?

Kerstin: Hmm? Oh! I don't care about you! I don't care… I REALLY DON'T! I do not… SO WHAT R U HAVING FOR LUNCH? 8D

Tezz: *Facepalm*

* * *

Tezz: *Whines/cries/sobs emotionally*

Vert: Tezz, stop, u sound like ur killing an elephant…

Tezz: O-O

* * *

Spinner: Sole!

Vert: One, two!

Zoom: Ichi, ni!

Zen: Yi, er!

Tezz: Soviet! (Soren!) (Even tho Tezz is supposed to say-Y-Ya know what…? Nvm. XDDD)

Stanford: One, two!

Sherman: Eins, zwei!

A.J.: UN, DEUX!

Spinner: Ve~! ^.^

All: Wa, wa, wa! World~! WA WA WA, WORLD…!

Zen: Maruku na ni nari! (Becomes a round circle)

Tezz: Hana ni nari! (Becomes a flower)

All: World Ondo wo~! Odorimashou~!

(Long pause of music)

All: WAAA~!

Agura, Grace, Sage, and Rawkus: *Clapping*

* * *

Vert: No! NOW GET THE SAND OUT OF UR TWAT, AGURA, AND TEZZ, GET THE STICK OUT UR $$ AND COME ON!

Both: O.O

* * *

A.J.: But mommy says I'm beautiful!

Spinner: SHUT THE F-CK UP KID, UR UGLY.

Both: Please, may I whip yo kids, may I whip yo kids… *Laugh*

Tezz: I hope u know that's NOT FUNNY… AT ALL… *Pulls up shirt and shows them a long stab wound scar*

A.J.: Aww… *Follows Tezz* Time for make-up smex?

Tezz: KK…

* * *

Agura: RONNELIO!

* * *

Zen: Uh, ueah, like, I don't wanna see that, so okay. *Walks away*

* * *

Tezz: In Soviet Russia Russia-I don't know… I-I'm sorry everyone… *Walks off the BF5 set*

Vert: WHAAAT?

Tezz: I'M GOIN' ON A COFFEE BREAK! LEAVE ME ALONE!

A.J.: (In Cartman voice) Whateva' Whateva! I do what I want!

* * *

Tezz: *Walks in the kitchen and starts making some coffee*

Vert: (Whispering at the table to the rest of his team) HOLY COMMUNISM. LOOK AT THAT SMALL-BONED B*TCH RIGHT THUR. THAT, MOTHERF*CKERS, IS MOTHERF*CKIN TEZZ VOLITOV. HE DESERVES TO HAVE THE TITLE AND GET CALLED, 'THE BOSS' AND WHAT EVER THE HELL HE DOES, IS LIKE A F*CKIN' BOSS. B*TCHES BETTER RECOGNISE! THIS BEAUTIFUL COMMIE BASTARD HAS NUCLEAR WEAPONS THAT HE WILL SHOVE UP YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS. HE'LL ASSRAPE YOU WITH HIS VODKA AND YOU'LL LIKE IT YOU WHORE. THIS B*TCH DRINKS 50 BOTTLES OF THE STRONGEST KIND OF ALCOHOL AND IT STILL ISN'T ENOUGH TO GET RID OF THE FACT THAT YOU'RE STILL ALIV-Oh sh*t.

Tezz: *Glares* WTH was all that about?

Vert: Nothing.

All: *Giggling madly*

* * *

Agura: Sometimes, all I wanna do is punch every guy on the team in the BALLS. Well, except for Sherman. He's cool.

Sherman: YAY! *Glomps*

* * *

A.J.: They see me rollin'…

Sherman: They hatin'…

Spinner: HA-HA!

* * *

Vert: Well, alright then! If you're too much of a sober wuss to go drinking with us! Maybe you're not Russian… *Starts walking off*

Tezz: *Stops*

Vert: (To the team) Three, two, one…

Tezz: _Ne!_

Team: *Look back*

Tezz: *Blushes* I-I'll go…

All: *Cheer*

* * *

Zen: My d*ckshake brings all the girls to the yard, and they're like, iz better than urs, damn right, it's better than urs, I can teach u, but that'd be gay!

Zoom: *Dies laughing*

* * *

Zoom: *Kicks Vert and turns towards the camera* ROAD HOUSE.

* * *

Zoom: COME HERE U LITTLE JERK! *Grabs Zen*

Zen: AGH!

Zoom: TASTE THE BACK OF MY PALM!

Zen: But u aren't my dad or Master!

Zoom: Nah, BUT I'M DOIN YER MOM!

Zen: O-O

Both: *Laugh*

* * *

Tezz: I shall now show my anger through you with this piano. *Sits gracefully suddenly in a tux with sexy reading glasses on with the rim under the lens and his tie all nice and neat* :3

Vert: O-O

Sherman: ?

Tezz: *Starts playing Prelude in E-Minor (op. 28 no. 4)*

(About three minutes later)

Tezz: *Flips has bangs and stands up before bowing*

Sherman: Sooo… ur anger is Chopin?

Tezz: ಠ_ಠ *Walks away*

* * *

Spinner: AGHHH! I CON'T BELIEVE THIS! *Rants on and sobs*

Sherman: Aww, don't worry…! Kerstin didn't mean it! She's really a nice lady trust me~! Plus, she's strong, and brave, and wiser than anybody~! And Germans sound real funny! ^^

Spinner: Hmmm… A-Alright… But… just once, would you say nice things about _me_ like that?

Sherman: Uhhh… *Scoots away*

Spinner: … I HATE YOU SO MUCH-A!

Kerstin: I DON'T SOUND FUNNY!

Tezz: *Giggle* Hehe…

* * *

Kerstin: R u gunna be my Russia?

Tezz: *Towers over her* KOL, KOL, KOL…

* * *

Tezz: TETRIS! From Russia with luv. *w*

* * *

A.J.: Oui~? *Holds rose in his mouth*

Fangirls: EEEEE! X33333

* * *

Vert: Tezz, can I borrow ur phone?

Tezz: Suuurrre…

(Vert makes a call and ends it, then goes through his phone)

Vert: Ohh! Texts from Kerstin~!

Tezz: NOUU! STOP!

Vert: 'Aww, ur so cute, I really want u to come over sometime and-'…. TEZZ…

Tezz: *Russian-palm*

* * *

Vert: I find myself as a country person along with A.J.. But I'm more of a smooth jazz guy too. Agura could be rap and hip-Hop and all that, while Stanford is the classic rock guy. Zoom is total K-Pop or J-Pop. Spinner and Sherman are sort of classical-type or hardcore rock. They're hard to read. Meanwhile, Tezz is heavy metal, techno, screamo, songs about despair, dubstep, and maybe some Russian music.

All: O0O THAT'S RIGHT…

Vert: Mmm-hmmm! I know my team!

* * *

Spinner: Dear BF5 GUYS, Vert and A.J. AND Zoom all made that song last week. About b0ners. I BOW TO YOUR BRILLIANCE.

* * *

Tezz: I shall now show my disgust with you through the piano. *Sits down gracefully in his suit and monocle and starts playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata*

(About seven minutes later)

Tezz: *Stands up and glares*

Sherman: Beethoven?

Tezz: GAAAAHHH~! *Runs off with his cane*

* * *

A.J.: Gosh Dammit I WANT MY PANCAKES!

* * *

Sherman: I-… Is that… orange juice?

Stanford: *Walks in with shades on* YOU BET YOUR CRUMPITS IT IS…

* * *

Agura: THE PRESEDENT WAS CAPTURED BY NINJAS AND YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE WITH THAT B0NER LOOKIN' AT MY T*TS, U F*CK!

Vert: Thank you Agura my b0ner is quite a wonder…

All: *Burst out laughing*

* * *

Spinner: CHIGIIIIII!

* * *

Spinner: WHAT THE F*CK WOULD KEVIN BACON DO? !

* * *

A.J.: *Runs in* GUYS! GUYS! I figured it out! I'm not MEXICAN!... I'M BLACK! :D

* * *

Tezz: HAHAHA! No, I cannot do that for you or ur friends! *Opens eyes and sees everyone left* (Thinking) OH F*CK.

* * *

Tezz: XDD

Vert: Ok! DO IT!

Tezz: YOU GOT-TA THANK!

All: *Laugh*

Zoom: Yagot-tathink, Yagot-tathink! Yagot-tathink!

All: *Laugh harder*

* * *

Zen: (Randomly playing volleyball)

BF5: *Watch*

Zoom: His shorts are so tight! You can nearly see his junk! Good Gawd!

Zen: *Spikes it*

Zoom: DAYUM! *Covers mouth*

Zen: *Looks over and just laughs*

* * *

Spinner: FLUFFY!

* * *

Sherman: *Starts stroking Spinner's hair* POLITENESS IS ALWAYS EXPECTED! D8

Spinner: *Dies of laughter*

* * *

Vert, Zoom, Spinner: I'm sexy and I know it… I'm sexy and I know it…

Agura: …BAHAHAHAHAA! *Dies laughing*

Zoom: Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle!

Sherman: *Leans on Stanford and dies*

* * *

Vert: How many teeth in ur butt?

* * *

Spinner: This is the tinkle tube for colored children… And Tezz… *Shows two foot long pvc pipe*

Tezz: BAHAHAHAHAHAA! *Dies*

* * *

Tezz: I SHALL NOW ALL TEACH YOU THE RUSSIAN VERSION OF NUMA NUMA. My favorite line you might ask? 'Milk is good, but vodka is better.' AND IT IS SO TRUE… *Puts on shades* F*CK YEA…

* * *

Me: NEVER listen to dubstep before bed!

* * *

Stanford: FLYING MINT BUNNY! 8D

* * *

Zoom: SO, YEAH, ZEN AND I, HAD FUN THIS WEEKEND BEIN' ASIAN.

…

Zen: *Speaking Thai*

Zoom: *Talks Thai back and eats his lo mein.

…

Zoom and Zen: *Walk down in the park and sit by the lake*

…

Zoom: Okay, okay, come heeeere!

Zen: *Talks off his shirt, leaving cargo pants and gets close to Zoom*

Zoom: *Make Asian faces*

Zen: *Does the same*

Both: *Take pics*

…

Zoom: LIKE TRUE ASIANS…

* * *

Austria: Alrighty. You belong to me, Austria, so suck it up. Your new job is going to be to serve me and do what I say, do you understand? Now then, I'll supervise all of the industries and politics in your land. The only thing you have to do is loyally obey me without asking any questions. Do you have any questions for me?

Chibitalia: Ehh, just one! By any chance do you have any pasta he-

Austria: NO WE DON'T.

Tezz and A.J.: *Fangasm*

* * *

Spinner: THE TOILET PAPER'S TALKING!

Vert: WIPE AGAIN!

* * *

Vert: BRING-… BRING AMBRULAMPS…

A.J.: Don't you mean 'Ambulance'?

Vert: ABRULAMPS! D8

* * *

Agura: I just wanna wash my bra… I shouldn't have to do… a RUBIX CUBE, TO GET IT CLEAN!

* * *

Spinner: OMIGOD IT'S STICKY… AUGH! It's like a c0ndom that won't go away!

* * *

Zen: What do you think about, 'Axis?'

Kerstin: Really? I was going to suggest something else, but I like the Axis idea better… Hmm… In German it would be _'ein Axis'_

Zen: Sound bad-ass.

Spinner: (Sleeping) In Italian it would be _'un asse'!_ *Puts arm down* Heeeeehhhh…

* * *

Stanford: IF YOU DO ONE MORE PUN, I'M GUNNA PUNT YOUR ASS ALL THE WAY TO BANGKOK!

Vert: *Giggles*

Stanford: Why r u laughing?

Vert: AHEHEHE!

Stanford: What?

Vert: Y-You said PUNT. :D

* * *

Stanford: Hang on there... Panteleimonovich...

Tezz: (With arms folded) The f***'d u just call me? *Narrows eyes*

* * *

A.J.: I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader, and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled.

And I don't know Jimmy, Sally, or Suzie form Canada, though I'm certain they're really, really nice. I have a Prime Minister, not a president. I speak English and French, not 'AMERICAN'. And I pronounce it 'about', not 'aboot'!

…

AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL!

…

AND IT IS PRONOUNCED ZED! NOT 'ZEE'! ZED! CANADA, IS THE SECOND LARGEST LAND-MASS, THE FIRST NATION OF HOKEY, AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA! MY NAME IS A.J., AND I, AM, CANADAIN! }8'D

All: *Don't even look up*

Tezz: Who wants Russian soup for dinner?

All: MEEE! Oooh! Tell us about Russia! Ohh! Yay! 8D

A.J.: *Pulls out a knife* SOBSOBSOB…


End file.
